A/N: Oh, wow you guys rock! That was the most reviews we've ever gotten on a chapter before, and they were all so nice. Thank you. Special thanks you out to the following people.
Nappyhead: There will definitely be more nerve pinches coming up in the future and if Maddy has her way, many, many more McCoy moments.
Skiing Pelican: I understand, I don't like reading stories without breaks either. We always try to add breaks, but when we upload the documents ff.n seems to decide it doesn't like them and away they go. Half the reason the girls don't take things seriously is because it isn't real to them yet. No worries though we have plans for seriousness…eventually. We're just huge humor fans.
Osperus: I'm so happy this fic makes you happy, that means a lot. Thank you. And you're absolutely right a replicator should be able to replicate a notebook. I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote that part.
Mrs. PavelChekov: Still one of my favorite pen names I think, thank you for your constant reviews and don't worry Elaan gets what's coming to her.
Estar9821: I understand completely. I too am guilty of the same sin of reading a fic and not reviewing, but thank you for taking the time to. Don't worry the next chapter will be all about Spock.
Tracie G: We're so honored to be your first review. There's nothing like a first time. (Please note very bad joke)
Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They really make us smile.
Sincerely, Vanillaninja2032and Shke Behet
Now, that I've taken up most of your time, the chapter…
The Plan
"I will have nothing to do with this Troyian pig anymore!" Elaan yelled in Conference room A, where they were currently trying to write up a treaty. But Elaan was being unreasonable, and swaying her diplomat, whose eyes rarely left her face. She manipulated him easily and the Troyians were running out of patience. Kirk had had just about enough, and declared a brief recess. He walked outside and thought about going to his room for a minute, when Lia came around the corner. He smiled at her and took her hand.
"Hello." He gave her a quick kiss.
"Hey. How's the conference going?" She had heard Elaan calling someone a pig.
"It could be better." She nodded understandingly. They heard her yelling again. It was amazing someone hadn't killed the chick yet, she was not pleasant. "We're taking a small break that will hopefully cool some tempers."
"So you have some time?" A nod and a knee-buckling smile was given. "I was about to get some coffee, do you want to come?"
"I'd love to." He took her arm and led her to the rec room.
"Captain." Elaan's harsh voice was heard. Kirk had to fight off the urge to groan and Lia had to fight the urge to punch her.
"Yes, Elaan?" She gave Lia a scathing look and stepped in, what was Lia's opinion, too close to Kirk.
"I need you." He followed her gaze to the conference room and sighed. Lia glared, she didn't like the way she had made that sound. Kirk kissed her on the cheek and promised to have dinner with her before following Elaan back into the conference room.
"That chick is seriously messing up your romance mojo with Captain Love." Lia turned around, there was Maddy.
"How do you keep doing that?"
"When I sneak around it's like I'm watching the show again. But that's not important! What's important is that princess bitch is coming on to your man, but no worries I'm here to help."
"What do you intend to do?"
"I've got it all outlined in my contingency notebook." Maddy proudly held up a plain green spiral notebook, and flipped to a page and showed Lia. Someone had finally pointed out to her that she could get a notebook from the replicator, she was very pleased and a little embarrassed at the same time.
"Someone Tries to Steal Kirk from Lia Plan." She read through it. "When did you write this?" Maddy shrugged.
"Few weeks ago when you and Kirk got together."
"But you didn't even know about her then."
"I like being prepared." Lia gave her a suspicious look, before reading through her plan. It was surprisingly clever. "This might actually work." Maddy nodded enthusiastically and they walked to the lift, they were meeting Sulu and Chekov for lunch in the rec room, Chekov had been bothering Lia lately, jokingly telling her she never spent time with him anymore, so she agreed. Though she wasn't sure if he knew she was with Kirk, she'd noticed he was a little dense. She said so and Maddy nodded.
"Are you ever going to bother telling him about you and Captain Love?"
"Stop calling him that, I don't call Bones Dr. Sexy."
"I do." Maddy wiggled her eyebrows suggestively and Lia fought off the urge to hit her. "But seriously, our dear Russian is a crushin on you."
"I know, it's just awkward." Maybe she could get Kirk to kiss her in front of him, that would take care of things. But he'd never do it while on the bridge...They walked into the rec room and Sulu flagged them over to a table in the corner. They got their food and sat down, Chekov immediately putting his arm around Lia. She discreetly shrugged it off and Maddy nodded at Sulu, who had also simply assumed Chekov knew Lia was with Kirk.
"How have you two been? I hear you've been having to deal with the Elasian princess."
"Awful. Disney princess she is not." Sulu nodded along and pretended to know what that meant. "How are things on the bridge?"
"Tense." Chekov tried putting his arm around Lia again, only to have her fake sneeze and jerk away from it. This time Sulu had to suppress a laugh and Maddy choked on her food. At that moment, there was some commotion at the door, as the Elasian's muscled their way in to the food synthesizers. Lia caught Elaan's eye just as Chekov got his arm around her again. A smug little smirk appeared on Elaan's face, and Lia frowned, confused. She shrugged and took her plate to the dish conveyer belt and headed back to the table. She sat down next to Maddy this time, so that Chekov would get the hint. He didn't and merely leaned over the table.
"I vas thinking that tonight ve could spend some time in the holo-room, vhat do you say?" Luckily, Maddy rescued her.
"Oh, sorry, me and Chapel planned a girl's night tonight. Maybe some other time, right Lia?" Lia nodded, thankful for Maddy's excuse.
"Yeah." Chekov winked at her.
"You will just haff to make it up to me." Lia caught Elaan looking at her again and glared back. Why was she in here anyway? "I am due back on the bridge. I will see you later?" Lia shrugged and before she knew what happened Chekov leaned in and kissed her on the cheek before leaving. She sat there stunned for a moment, Maddy's words brought her around.
"That's not good."
"I know! Crap I shoulda just told him Kirk and I are seeing each other, but I didn't want to hurt his feelings!"
"No, not that. Elaan say the whole thing." Lia froze. So that's what she was smirking about! Dammit, that could not have had worse timing. She groaned and put her head on the table. Sulu looked slightly lost.
"It can't be that bad." While Maddy explained the situation to Sulu, Lia watched as Elaan swaggered out of the room, giving her one last smug look before the door slid closed. Lia jumped up.
"I'm not letting that bitch turn this into something it's not, screw her!" Several crewmen looked startled at her outburst, but she ignored them and left in pursuit of Elaan. Maddy jumped up too.
"I gotta go babysit those two, I'll see you later." She left Sulu at the table and left after Lia. She found her and Elaan having a standoff a minute later. Apparently, Elaan went straight to Kirk to tell him what she saw and try to get in his good graces, when Lia showed up, and rebuked her, Maddy just caught the tail end of it.
"-It's not my fault he can't take a hint, goodness knows I've dropped plenty!" She was referring to Chekov. Elaan sneered at her and took Kirk's arm.
"I know what I saw." Lia crossed her arms.
"So do I, he has a crush on me, big deal, he'll leave me alone as long as I keep rejecting his advances."
"You seemed pretty friendly to me." Elaan snaked her arms around Kirk and leaned in close. "She doesn't care about you like I do. You can't trust swine like her. You can trust me." She whispered softly in Kirk's ear. Lia was about to lunge for the kill when Maddy held her back.
"Elaan, in Lia's and my culture it is perfectly acceptable for friends to exchange pleasantries in that manner. Hugs and kisses are signs of affection, not lust."
"That is no Earth custom I am aware of." She was still draped around Kirk, who wasn't doing anything about it, much to Lia's annoyance.
"We're from an Earth colony. Things are different there." Maddy hoped that Kirk understood what she was getting at. This wasn't Lia's fault.
"On my world when someone's mate is unfaithful the man has the right to dispose of her and select another." She pulled herself closer to Kirk.
"Well it's a good thing Lia wasn't being unfaithful then." Lia was still glaring at Elaan's arm wrapped around Kirk's neck. Why wasn't he brushing her off? She was this close to just leaving and say screw both of them, when suddenly Kirk's eye twitched. McCoy came up from behind him and put something in his pocket, while Kirk took Elaan's arms off of him. He looked confused, like he had no idea what was going on, then the expression hardened and he turned to Elaan.
"Elaan, you are confined to quarters for the rest of our journey, I am the captain, and my orders will be obeyed." He stressed, seeing her wanting to fight him. She settled with a haughty look and stalked off down the hall. Lia watched her go, and was suddenly engulfed in Kirk's embrace. McCoy and Maddy politely looked away, and she pointed quizzically at his pocket. He smiled and mimed zipping his lips. Maddy smiled and took his arm, and they headed off down the hallway, leaving Lia and Kirk in the middle of it.
"You pumped him full of that antidote didn't you? The one for Elasian tears?" McCoy smiled at her.
"Yes, but neither of them need to know that."
"Why Doctor, you're quite the romantic aren't you?"
"You know it." Meanwhile, Kirk had yet to let go of Lia. She finally pulled away from him and examined him closely.
"Are you alright?" He smiled at her and kissed her again.
"Now I am."
-/-
Elaan threw a chair across the room. That weak swine! How dare she get in the way of her and Captain Kirk! She threw a brush into a mirror, shattering it. How could he? How could Kirk do this to her? She ripped up the bed sheets. Didn't he realize she was still in love with him? Didn't he know that she could never have been happy on Troyius because he was the only one she would ever love? He was the first man that challenged her, the first man that didn't care who she was. She overturned the desk. Sometimes she could still feel his arms around her, still imagine his touch. During her time on Troyius she longed to be with him. She knew a war would bring him back to her, but now some foolish commoner had him. She would never stand for this. She still loved him and she intended to prove to Kirk that he still loved her too. She calmed down and looked at the destroyed room. She just needed to do away with the competition first.
Lia grinned as she slipped on her boots. Sharing a room with Kirk certainly had its benefits. She could definitely get used to this arrangement. She looked over at Kirk, who was sleeping, and quickly kissed him. She wished she could join him and go back to sleep, but she had to go on duty soon, she just needed to stop at her room and get a fresh uniform. She couldn't keep the grin off her face as she exited his room.
"Yes, I'll put you through, please hold." Janice sighed and leaned back in her chair. Working at a call center was more work than she anticipated, since she was used to electronics not needing to be run manually. Luckily though, her boss loved her, so she was happy to make a new friend. Tonia started work the next day, and soon, they would be able to pay for their apartment themselves, and she could pay back Jack. Though, she pondered with a smile, he probably wouldn't let her. She thanked her lucky stars she met him, he was a dreamboat, and really cared about her, her dream man, found in the past of another dimension of all places. Her phone rang, and she sighed and picked it up.
"How may I direct your call?" She hoped Tonia would be able to find someone just as compassionate as Jack was, so that she too could create a life here.
Maddy was in a flurry, she was running late and for some reason the laundry services weren't working, so she had no uniform to wear. When she tried to replicate one, it told her its quota was filled, and it needed maintenance. She was ready to scream. She ran to the lift, ignoring the odd looks she received for her tank top and sweats, and waited until it stopped on Lia's deck. She ran down the hall to her room and pounded on the door, maybe she had a spare she could borrow. No one answered, so she overrode the lock and stepped inside to see chaos. Things were on the floor, the bed was overturned, the mirror on her vanity was smashed, and the pillows had been ripped, sending stuffing everywhere.
"Lia?" Maddy was getting nervous now. She went and checked the bathroom, and saw that that mirror had also been shattered, and there was a small amount of blood on the floor, as if someone had walked over the shattered fragments of the mirror. She swallowed, a feeling of dread rising in her. She flipped open her communicator.
"Kirk? You need to get to Lia's room-now. I think she's been kidnapped."
Lia was mad. She kept wondering why this always happened to her. Okay, so maybe she brought it on herself, and okay maybe goading a warrior princess was a bad idea, and maybe only packing lingerie and no uniforms, meaning she had to go back to her room wasn't the greatest idea she ever had, and maybe staying in her room to examine the damage done by said warrior princess instead of getting security was a little foolish. But still! Did she have to keep on getting kidnapped? It was bad enough the Romulans got her, but some Egyptian wanna-be Xena warrior princess had to go and kidnap her. She could just hear all those lectures her dad used to give her about always being aware and never getting kidnapped. It wasn't like she got in a car with a stranger and took their candy. She was just at the wrong place at the wrong time, and made the wrong leader of an alien race mad. Looking back, she could have done a lot of things differently, but it was still worth it for the look on Elaan's face when she told her she was bunking with Kirk. That part she wouldn't change for anything. Well maybe said captain, but that was all! And maybe some aspirin, she was starting to get a headache, but that was it!
-/-/-
"How do you know she's been kidnapped?" Maddy had to go against every instinct in her body, and not talk in a British accent and address Kirk as 'My dear man' and it was really killing her to not be smoking a pipe and referring to McCoy as Watson. But she had to be strong!
"One! She hasn't answered her comm. Two! Our esteemed tearful princess of the Amazon and her Chip 'N Dale dancers are gone. Three! We know Elaan had it out for Lia, for obvious reasons." She leaned over and whispered to Kirk. "She wanted to get in your pants." Returning to full volume, ignoring the fact that everyone could still hear her when she was whispering. "And fourth, the most condemning evidence of all. This cold full cup of coffee." A red shirt started to object.
"How is that-?" Maddy held up her hand.
"You don't know her like I do. Lia has a caffeine addiction that would put most crack addicts to shame. She values coffee more than any other beverage. I once saw her drink a week old cup of coffee from a mug she found in her back seat, because she was starting to get a headache. Caffeine addicts must have coffee, lest they get the worst headaches known to man. Lia knows this. She would never leave a full cup of coffee, at least not willingly. Plus they got it on the security cameras and you can check the transporter records." Kirk turned to the security guards that he brought down with him.
"Fan out, search Elaan's room, see who last used the transporter without authorization. I want to know where they are, now." The red shirts hurried to comply, leaving Kirk and Maddy alone in Lia's room. Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. Maddy recognized the look and stepped forward.
"It wasn't your fault, you couldn't have known Elaan would have reacted this way, and Lia can take care of herself you know." Kirk shook his head.
"If anything happens to her..." Maddy nodded.
"I know." Kirk straightened and went to the wall comm.
"Spock? Come down to Lia's room, now." He could almost see the eyebrow that almost assuredly went up.
"Captain." He said in acknowledgement. Maddy started picking things up off the floor, but Kirk shook his head.
"Wait until it's been searched for evidence, you don't want to tamper with anything." Maddy stopped and got up just as Spock walked in. Both his eyebrows went up at the mess and he turned to Kirk, waiting for an explanation. He sighed.
"Lia's been...kidnapped. The most likely suspect is Elaan." Spock nodded and surveyed the room.
"Indeed, I shall assemble a search party immediately." He left the room briefly, and Kirk called in two more security officers to search the room for evidence. He walked outside and listened as Spock gave orders on the wall comm. Spock turned around and took notice of his drawn expression and listless eyes and cleared his throat.
"The transporter was used approximately 1.97 hours ago for four life forms, three Elasians and one Terran."
"See, I was right." Once again Maddy was standing behind everyone. She clapped her hands. "Well let's get this rescue party going. We'll probably need three red shirts, you, me, Spock and the Doctor."
"This is a delicate and dangerous situation." Maddy held her hand up stopping Kirk from his obvious speech about how she shouldn't come with them.
"No, look I understand your captainly concern, but I have more experience with kidnapped Lia than anyone else. You'll need my expertise."
"Kidnapped Lia?" She completely ignored the worried looks on everyone's face, save Spock whose face couldn't register worry.
"Oh yeah, she used to get kidnapped all the time. I think it was the worst when I was actually standing right next to her when she got grabbed one time. I actually have a contingency plan for when she gets kidnapped in my notebook." Kirk looked even more concerned.
"We'll talk about that later, Spock?" Spock turned to him. "You'll lead the rescue party, I'll join you as soon as I can." He headed up to the bridge, and Maddy looked at Spock expectantly.
"Can I have a phaser?" He didn't even dignify her question with an eyebrow.
"No."
-/-
Lia was starting to wonder why she never watched more jailbreak movies. The frame of reference would really be useful right about now. She wasn't in a fancy laser cell like she was last time, but this cell was still giving her problems. She had no bobby pin to pick the lock with, and even if she could get the cell door open she still had two supermodel guards to deal with. Big, bulky, muscle-bound supermodel guards that could very easily take her in a fight.
She didn't know what Elaan had planned for her. She wasn't sure if she was going to be executed or held for ransom or simply put in a cell and forgotten about. She really wished she knew. Even if it was something particularly nasty, knowing was always better than wondering. It was at that moment one of Elaan's chip n dale guards came in and threw something at her. It was a slutty outfit similar to Elaan's, except it was blue. She looked at him in confusion.
"Put it on, you will duel shortly." He left and Lia stared at her new outfit. She was going to duel? Who the heck dueled in clothes like this anyway?
-/-
Maddy was having an internal debate. She had taken steps to prevent something like this from happening. She had been worried since day one that something horrible like this might happen, but now that it had she wasn't sure what to do. Did she stand next to Spock or the red shirts? The red shirts would surely invite death and having them around was like a lightning rod one stuck on their barn, but what if death had bad aim and got her instead? And then there was Spock. Spock was a main character. Spock was safe. No, she corrected herself, being Spock was safe. If disaster ever struck him it would be resolved by the end of the episode, or else an entire movie would be devoted to it. Being Spock was safe, standing next to Spock she wasn't so sure. She didn't want to be Spock's lightening rod of misfortune, but she certainly didn't feel safe around Ensigns Bad and Luck. No, she really wasn't sure what to do.
"Ensign?"
"I JUST DON'T KNOW!" They turned to stare at her. She cleared her throat. "Where Lia is?" She finished meekly. Spock, meanwhile, was adjusting the settings on his tricorder to detect tachyons. Elaan had no idea that Lia radiated tachyons, so theoretically, finding her would be easy. Unfortunately, while he was near Maddy, it was only picking up on the tachyons surrounding her.
"We need to split up."
"What?" Maddy was worried, splitting up was never a good idea.
"Myself and Ensign Smith will go east, the two of you will go west. Meet back here at 0500 hours." Both red shirts nodded, while Maddy gaped like a fish. This was it, she was done for.
"Son of a bitch." Spock must have it out for her. She eyed the red shirt next to her and hoped this was going to be one of those rare occasions where no one died. "Could've at least let me have a phaser." She started following the red shirt, wishing she had brought her baseball bat with her. "Or my crowbar." Maybe she'd get lucky and they wouldn't run into trouble. It was then they heard the drums.
-/-
"Why am I wearing this again?" Lia was being shepherded down a hallway to she didn't know where...wearing a very revealing blue leotard thing that was armored on the chest. One of the guards threatened to undress her if she didn't do it herself, and that was something she definitely did not want. So here she was, slutty and confused. Until the hallway ended and she came out into a large open-aired stadium, filled with screaming Elasians, Elaan herself standing at the other end of the stadium, her arms crossed, holding a battle axe. Lia stared.
"You've got to be kidding me." Another one of Elaan's Chip 'N Dale dancers deposited an equally large battle axe in her arms. She gripped it and gave it a few experimental swings. It was just as heavy as it looked, meaning her range of attack motions had just been cut in half. Elaan's booming voice broke her thoughts.
"It is an Elasain tradition that when two females covet the same mate, the outcome will be decided upon in battle." Crap, it is what she thought it was.
"You want to fight me for Kirk?"
"To the victor go the spoils."
"You know I think you'll need to ask him first." If she had known dating the captain of the Enterprise was going to put her in these types of situations she would have tried harder to seduce Spock. Spock's exes weren't crazy. That she knew of. But one of the guards pushed her toward the center of the arena, Elaan standing opposite her. Oh crap.
Meanwhile, Maddy and her red shirt security guard were cautiously approaching a large building that the drumming was coming from. It had a wide entrance with a large gate that was currently open, and the red shirt went ahead to get a better look. Maddy stayed as far away from him as possible, just to be on the safe side. Then, a large cheer came from inside, and he came running back.
"It's an arena! And Ensign Acacia is inside, the Elasian princess and her are...dueling!" He said it as if he didn't quite believe it himself, but Maddy went into action mode. She flipped open her communicator.
"Spock, we've found her, follow our signal." She switched the signal to lock onto the Enterprise's channel. "Kirk? You better get down here, fast."
Elaan gave a battle cry and started running at Lia, who tried running away and found herself to be a lot slower than usual.
"Damn axe." Elaan was right behind her loudly screaming about how she was going to hang her head on a plaque in the great hall. Just as she was right behind her, Lia dropped to the ground and stuck her foot out, tripping the princess. Lia got back up and grabbed her axe, waiting for Elaan to stand up. She was counting her lucky stars that actually worked, and quickly backpedaled, trying to get some space between them.
"Come on Lia!" She stared over at Maddy, who just entered the arena with her red shirt, taking a seat in the front row. Lia was justifiably upset.
"A little help here!" Elaan swung at her again, and she just kept dodging, not even attempting to use her own axe, knowing she was next to useless with it.
"Punch her in the boob!"
"Not helping Maddy!"
"Alright fine." She took a deep breath and cupped her hands. "Hey Elaan! Boo! You suck! Your hair's stupid and if it wasn't for your magic tears no man would touch you with a ten foot pole! Your shoes are stupid and your make up makes you look like a drag queen! Everyone from your planet looks like cheap hookers!"
"How is that helping?" The next thing either of them knew, Elaan had thrown her axe in the stands trying to hit Maddy. She ducked just in time, unfortunately the spectator sitting behind her did not.
"See now she doesn't have a weapon!" Elaan merely crouched down, ready for hand to hand combat. Lia looked at her axe. She really should put it down so it would be a fair fight, but then she would probably lose. While she was contemplating, Elaan took the initiative and punched her, just missing her nose. Lia's axe fell to the ground, though she managed to keep her feet, stumbling backward. Lia snarled.
"Okay, I'm done playing nice!" She leapt at her, and they began trying to punch and kick each other, Elaan finally grabbed Lia's long hair and held her head back, punching her again. It was then Spock showed up, followed by Kirk beaming down next to Maddy. He gaped at the scene, as Lia fell down with the force of Elaan's hit. She rubbed her cheek, and Elaan turned, spotting Kirk.
"This weakling does not deserve you! I have bested her in combat, and now you are mine."
"I never agreed to that." He crossed his arms, and Maddy for the first time, saw that Kirk was angry. Really angry.
"It does not matter, you are here, and now you are mine, I-" But at that moment, Elaan's eyes rolled to the back of her head, and she fell to the ground. Lia stood behind her.
"Shouldn't have turned you back on someone that knows the Vulcan nerve pinch, bitch." The crowd hissed and booed, but Lia's victory was undeniable. By their laws, Elaan now had no hold on Kirk. Lia limped over to the stands, and Kirk met her halfway.
"Hey." She stumbled slightly and Kirk caught her in his arms.
"Are you alright?"
"Let's just say I'll be paying Bones a visit." He smiled and planted a small kiss on her lips.
"I'm glad you're alright." She smiled back at him. Maddy jumped over the fence separating the audience from the arena and bounded over to Lia.
"Whoo! Alright! You totally kicked her ass! High five!" Lia slapped her out stretched hand.
"It was nothing."
"See I told you the plan would totally work!" Kirk and Spock stopped and stared at her.
"Plan?" Lia made a cutting motion at her throat, trying to get Maddy to shut up. Maddy caught on.
"Plan? What plan? Who said anything about a plan? What? Why Lia you're bleeding! We should really get you back to the ship. Gosh Kirk how could you be that irresponsible with your girlfriend? Look they have souvenirs!" Maddy promptly turned around, but her red shirt caught her.
"Aw." Kirk took out his communicator.
"Six to beam up." They reappeared in the transporter, and Scotty whistled when he saw Lia's bruised face. The red shirts left and Kirk took Lia to the med bay. McCoy met them halfway.
"What happened to you?"
"Elaan tried taking a battle axe to my face." McCoy cursed and ushered her into the medbay, while examining her with his medi-scanner. Kirk tried to follow her but McCoy waved his scanner at him threateningly and he watched as Bones took her to an examination room. He himself returned to the bridge to complete their original mission-peace. He had a feeling Elaan would be more willing to negotiate now that her pride had been beaten down.
Lia watched McCoy wave something over her face and felt the pain in her cheek lessen. Whatever he was using had somehow stitched up her cuts and were lessening her bruises. She decided right then and there that future medicine was the greatest thing ever.
Maddy came in, got to close to Lia's face and beamed at her.
"Guess what?"
"What?" Maddy stepped back slightly but her grin didn't lessen, if anything it grew larger.
"I decided you needed a victory party. So, in the fifteen minutes you've been in sickbay I've arranged one. There's cake and ice cream and pin the tail on the donkey, and Sulu and Chekov and some random science and engineering officers I found, and Scotty are coming, and I'm going to talk the space trio into attending." The space trio, Maddy's name for the trio of Spock, Kirk, and McCoy. The Golden Trio was already taken.
"What kind of cake?"
"White cake with the really thick frosting." Lia nodded.
"Okay." She hopped off the bed and followed Maddy to the lift. McCoy promised he and Chapel would be right along as soon as he put some equipment away. Once Maddy and Lia were in the lift Maddy demanded a high five.
"See my 'someone else is trying to seduce Kirk' plan totally worked." Lia nodded.
"I had my doubts."
"Psh. Not me."
"It wasn't you that had to have a gladiator-like combat with a crazy chick."
"But I was the one that came up with the idea." They heard someone clearing their throat behind them, both girls stopped and turned around. Spock. They gave him a stunned look. How was he always in the lift?
"Uh...hi Spock. How are you today?" Maddy nervously shifted and Lia started raking her mind for possible lies she could tell Spock to explain their conversation. He raised an eyebrow and Maddy cracked.
"It was all part of the plan! I had it outlined from day one! Lia was to get kidnapped and I would notice, then an epic rescue mission would follow, and Lia would have the ultimate cat fight with whoever it was that was trying to get into Kirk's pants, not that it's hard or anything, and Kirk would see and his love and concern would overwhelm him and Lia's rival would be defeated." Lia stomped on Maddy's foot. "YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE!" Once again Spock remained silent.
"If you say anything Kirk will know and then the plan would've failed and then Kirk would be sad. Do you want Kirk to be sad? Cause that's what will happen if you tell him. You can't say anything. A sad captain isn't an effective one, and-" Lia grabbed Maddy and covered her mouth.
"Sometimes when Maddy gets bored she likes pretending that she came up with ideas, because she likes to think she's clever. Also, she's been feeling under the weather lately, so you really can't blame her for not making sense. She gets delusional when she's sick." Maddy squirmed away from Lia and attempted to help.
"There's cake in the rec room." Spock raised an eyebrow.
"I see." Lia hit the stop button and both girls got out of the lift.
"I have to change back into my uniform." Maddy nodded and grinned.
"So we'll see you in the rec room in five. Remember there's cake." Spock gave an imperceptible nod. He was partial to cake. The lift door closed and both girls gave a collected sigh of relief.
"Think he bought it?"
"I hope so." They continued to Lia's room, where she put on a fresh dress and stared at her odd gladiatorial outfit, before shrugging and throwing it in a drawer. They headed to the rec room and Maddy smirked.
"Keeping that for a special night, huh?" Lia's eye twitched.
"Have I ever told you you talk too much?"
"On occasion."
"Are you ever going to listen?"
"Not likely. Come on we're going to miss the cake." Lia followed Maddy to the rec room, hoping that she wouldn't have to face anymore of Kirk's exes any time soon.