Chapter 10: Gandalf officially goes crazy
By Archet T.
9. I will not cheer when Denethor launches himself off the cliff, burning
10. I also won't bring popcorn
"Faramir!" Pippin heard himself screaming, "Noooooo, you can't die. You CAN'T!"
He watched in horror as Lord Denethor poured a bucket of oil over him and his son. The two of them now resembled Rangers who had been running for several days straight, namely Aragorn after he had found the hobbits.
Gandalf burst in on his horse (he just can't seem to figure out the rules of those Halls. They specifically say NO HORSES, but Gandalf never bothers to read the rules, does he?), and proceeded to knock Denethor into the pyre.
Probably on purpose.
But what Gandalf didn't realize was that Faramir was in that pyre too, and he had just become a human candle. Pippin had to save him from dying. Pippin also had to eat popcorn. Pippin had to save Faramir. But Pippin needed to eat popcorn for the king, ahem steward…
What to do, what to do… the hobbit's mind worked frantically as precious seconds ticked by. And then he finally made his choice.
The right one, thank god.
"Go!" he screamed at Gandalf, and threw him the last pack of the microwavable, full-fat, high sodium, popcorn he had carried with him all the way from The Shire.
The Wizard caught it and ran, faster than any Wizard had ran before, to where Denethor was about to commit suicide. He promptly shoved his hand in the bag and started to eat the snack. Though quite stale, it had popped from the heat of the fire, as Pippin had planned (well, Merry had planned it, but same thing).
Pippin rolled Faramir off the bed, told the unconscious man to stop, drop, and roll, and ran outside, where he stood beside the Wizard and began to cheer.
And all over Middle Earth people's hearts were lightened with joy, for that one second.
The Gandalf dumped the rest of the popcorn on Pippin's head and the second was over.
Yeah... about that... blame the plot bunnies.