CHAPTER 10 – RODANO
COMMANDER'S QUARTERS – IMPERIAL MILITERY BASE – ALDERAAN
10 HOURS BEFORE THE DESTRUCTION OF ALDERAAN
Rodano sighed with frustration as she desperately tried to get back to sleep.
She was lying on her bed in the commander's quarters. She had planned to get at least eight hours of sleep to ensure she was fresh and alert for the next day. But three hours before she was due to get up, she had woken with a start. After a few minutes of tossing and turning, Rodano realised that she was too anxious and agitated to sleep. There were too many thoughts and emotions racing through her mind and body.
Reluctantly, Rodano got up from her bed and staggered to the spacious and finely furnished bathroom of the base commander's quarters. The fittings and fixtures were made from the finest materials and were intricately decorated with exquisite images. But Rodano saw none of this. She stood in front of the silver laced porcelain sink and looked at herself in the huge mirror before her.
Rodano looked at her gaunt puffy-eyed face and sighed with weariness. She splashed some cold water on her cheeks and forehead in the hope of freshening herself up. But she didn't feel any better. A little bit of water would not be enough to wash away the physical and emotional exhaustion that racked her body. Nor would it give life to the hollow and empty look in her eyes.
Rodano asked herself how she would be able to lead the mission on Alderaan in such a wretched state. She was a physical and emotional wreck. For the first time in years, Rodano found that she was afraid. Afraid of dishonour. Afraid of letting down her sisters. And afraid of failure.
Feeling a wave of of nausea and anxiety hit her, Rodano buried her head in her hands. For just a moment, Rodano wished she was someone else; in a peaceful and beautiful galaxy far far away. And she began thinking about her past life and where it had led her.
Rodano found herself wondering if her life could have been different. She wondered if her life would have been better if she had never joined the stormtrooper corps. Looking in the mirror again, Rodano caught a glimpse the young woman she could have been and the life she could have had. She no longer saw the harsh features of an imperial stormtrooper looking back. She saw the face of a fragile and innocent young woman. She saw the girl who could have dated boys and danced at festivals; the bride who could have married her true love; the wife who could have dutifully served her husband; the mother who could have bourn and cared for her children.
But Rodano knew that it was all a lie. She had never experienced any of these things and never would. The face reflected before her was not that of a sweet innocent young woman. With an uncontrollable feeling of melancholy and regret, Rodano heard herself sniff pitifully and saw herself wipe her eyes as tears of sorrow trickled down her cheek.
"No!"
With rage, Rodano struck the mirror hard with her fists. Angry and ashamed at her own weakness, Rodano relentlessly pounded her fists against the mirror as if trying to strike the treasonous reflection in front of her. She only stopped when the mirror cracked and shards of glass cut into her hand under the force of her blows.
Ignoring the pain of her injury, Rodano looked up at the mirror. The reflection of the weak innocent woman was no longer there. And Rodano realised it never had been. All Rodano saw was the sneering face of a cold hard woman glaring back at her with scorn and contempt. The face of an imperial stormtrooper. A ruthless killer, duty bound to serve the will of the emperor and to crush his enemies. The face of a killing machine who had snuffed out so many lives that Rodano could not even count or remember them.
No. It was no longer the face of innocence that Rodano saw in the mirror. It was the face of a monster who would cause the deaths of hundreds of millions in the coming hours. The ruthless commander who would lead her troopers to their certain deaths.
Executioner. Mass murderer. Deceiver. Killer of worlds. That was the true face of Victoria Rodano.
"No!" Rodano Heard herself say. "I am more than that."
Rodano struck the cracked mirror again in fury. She felt pain bite into her injured hand as her blood smeared itself on the broken glass. Rodano welcomed the pain and blood. It gave her focus and reminded her who she was.
"You are Captain Victoria Rodano of the imperial stormtrooper Corps. You will do your duty. You will follow you orders. You will lead your men into battle. You shall not fail."
The words jolted Rodano out of her lethargy. Once again, she saw the reflection of what and who she truly was. She remembered how she had paraded with her unit in front of Lord Vader after graduating from the stormtrooper academy. She felt devotion for the Galactic Empire surge through her. From the depths of her soul, the stormtrooper oath of allegiance sprang into her mind. She felt the words flow through her spirit, just as her life blood flowed through her veins.
"I am and always will be a loyal servant of the Galactic Empire. There is only one law: Obedience to the Emperor. There is only one punishment for failure: Death."
The words gave her renewed energy and conviction. They gave her courage. They gave her strength. They gave her meaning to her life. She was an imperial stormtrooper and there was nothing else she would rather be. She was proud to serve the Empire. She was proud of everything she had done in its name. And she regretted nothing.
Yes, she had executed unarmed civilians and prisoners. But she truly believed that such actions had been necessary to maintain peace and order in the galaxy. The death of a few thousand fanatics, pirates, dissidents and rebels was necessary to protect the security and welfare of billions of good imperial citizens. Some innocents may have regrettably fallen victim, but the sacrifice was necessary for the greater good.
Yes, she had suffered prejudice, misogyny and insults at the hands of imperial officers. But that had only made her stronger and more determined to succeed. It had built her character and made her all the more worthy to serve the Galactic Empire.
Rodano's thoughts turned to the mission before her and the imminent destruction of Alderaan. She knew she could save thousands of lives is she wanted to. She could get a message out to the Alderaan government warning them of the attack. She could delay or even stop the attack on the spaceports allowing thousands to escape. She could perhaps even convince her commanding officers that the attack had to be stopped or delayed for some reason.
But Rodano would do none of these things. She was a loyal imperial stormtrooper of the Empire. She would obey her orders, she would do her duty and execute her mission to the best of her abilities.
Apart from that, as a loyal imperial officer she was, Rodano truly believed that Alderaan deserved to be punished. Its people and government had scorned imperial authority and law. They were secretly building up a significant military force that would only be used against loyal imperial servants and citizens. They were not the pacifists that they claimed to be. The rebellious people of Alderaan would plunge the galaxy into a catastrophic war if something wasn't done. They had to be stopped and their treason must be ruthlessly crushed.
In the bathroom mirror, Rodano once again saw the grim face of an imperial stormtrooper captain looking back at her, brimming with confidence and determination. She saw the loyal soldier of the Galactic Empire who was dedicated to carrying out the orders issued by her commanding officers. She saw the imperial commander who would lead her band of sisters to the greatest glory and honour any stormtrooper could wish for. To die fighting the enemies of the Emperor.
The faces of Rodano's sister troopers paraded through her mind. The fanatically loyal and dedicated Corianna. The passionate and capable Schtern. The cunning and clever Loreno. The quiet and dependable Steele. And all the other brave NCOs and enlisted women who served with her.
Thinking of the brave women she served with, Rodano now understood why she would willingly carry out this one final fatal mission on Alderaan. Not for her own glory and honour. Not to stop a galactic conflict. Not to maintain the integrity of imperial rule. Not to punish Alderaan's treason. And not even to fulfil the will of the Emperor.
No. Rodano would lead her sisters to their glorious deaths for one reason, and one reason only. Because that is what her sister troopers expected of her. They put faith in her. They were loyal to her. And they expected her to serve the Emperor and the Empire with her very being. Rodano would repay their loyalty and courage. She would ensure they died with honour. And she vowed to be with them until the very end. She would not let them down.
Rodano looked at her reflection in the broken blood-smeared mirror one last time. A determined and confident mature woman looked back. A woman who deserved her place in history as the first female captain of the stormtrooper corps. A woman who would complete her mission successfully at any costs.
Rodano dried her face and hands. She went over to the personal med-droid which was stationed in the commander's quarters. She ordered the droid to treat her wounded hand and give her sufficient medication to make her sleep for another two hours. She would need to be well rested for the next day.
Rodano calmly went to her bed and lay down. She quickly drifted into a blissful dream-filled sleep.