Get out of MY Room!
Chapter 9: Father-Son moment
Well, so much for a "Normal" morning Shikamaru thought with a sigh. The Lazy Genius leaned against the basement door, breathing heavily. It was strange, and completely frustrating. No matter what he did, no matter how low he kept his head, the universe just kept screwing with him. Everything was so simple; nothing surprised him, scared him, or even got to him. But now, as soon as some troublesome woman invaded his room, nothing seemed simple.
The whole incident just bewildered him. His actions were abnormal and almost erratic. He could pass it off as simply miscounting the eggs, or that he was just scared, or that he... well the last one didn't even have a simple cover up. He'd made eggs for her; she rendered him witless, and made him flee like a gutless coward.
Everything was fresh in his mind, the thoughts racing through his mind, everything clear as day. He wasn't scared of her; he was embarrassed by the whole damn situation.
"Troublesome." He muttered. With a final sigh he cleared the incident from his thoughts and walked away from the door.
"Girl Troubles?" A half-awake voice said/asked.
Shikamaru nodded. "You know this is all your fault."
"My fault?" Shikaku asked as he leaned forward on the recliner.
"You should have used protection." Shikamaru answered dryly while grabbing another cup of coffee.
"Oh ha-ha, but than we wouldn't have an emotionless, lazy genius ass of a son." His dad retorted with a chuckle.
"Exactly." The younger Nara corrected as he walked over to the couch and slumped down into it.
Shikaku shrugged. "Well when you're done cutting your wrists, feel free to do your old man a favor and bail."
Shikamaru lifted his head from the couch and arched an accusatory eyebrow. "I swear you and mom have a betting problem."
"Hey some couples play scrabble, we bet." He admitted casually. "We're up to four months so do me a solid, and wimp out."
"Why do you always bet against me?" Shikamaru sighed as he leaned his head back against the couch again.
"Ouch, now that hurts Shikamaru, go ahead and hit me below the belt would ya." Shikaku replied in mock offense.
"Wouldn't it just be simpler to just say yes" His son stated in cynical fashion.
"Hey, I only bet against you when it comes to women." The other defended.
"Wow, glad to know you've got such faith in my women skills."Shikamaru retorted sarcastically.
"No it's not that." Shikaku denied casually. "It's your lack of."
Shikamaru signed. "Got it all from you."
"Touché." Shikaku returned with a smirk.
"Thanks." Shika accepted dryly. "So... mom's betting for me?"
"Not really, more like your ability to piss people off." Shikaku explained.
Shikamaru paused for a split second "Well she sure knows a safe bet."
"True, but I'm betting on a law of nature." His Dad reassured.
"I didn't know beer makes everything better applies to this."
"No... Well yes it does, but that's not the one I'm talking bout." Shikaku snorted. "I'm talking about the unchangeable truth."
For a second Shikamaru reverted to deep thoughts "Women are Crazy?"
"Ding ding ding, we have a winner." Shikaku chuckled. "So anyways, how's it been living with troublesome women?"
"Wouldn't it be simpler to ask a mirror?"
"Fair enough, but every man's hell is different."
"Alright." Shikamaru sighed. "Here it goes."
And so, Shikamaru quickly summarized his time with Temari in with unrated bluntness, detail and avoidance of his inner thoughts. Took about 10 minutes.
Now Shikaku had had more than his fair share of troublesome stories, but even he was left bewildered after hearing his son's recollection of the pass month. "You're yanking my chain right?" Shikaku questioned after a pause.
Shikamaru shook his head lazily.
"So, you embarrassed her in public, might have given her brain damage… twice, literally got hit below the belt and got attacked while bringing her breakfast? And you're still alive?" Shikaku asked in a stunned kind of way.
Shikamaru paused. "Can I go now?"
At first Shikaku said nothing. "Holy shit." And he laughed his ass off. "Oh I'm so sorry Shikamaru, I take it back. You got women skills, their just shit." He laughed.
"Once again, got it all from you." Shikamaru muttered darkly.
"Oh really?" Shikaku smirked. "At Least I know when a girl likes me."
"What's that got to do with this?" Shika snapped.
"Seriously? She practically handed you a resume and said 'please ask me out, I fit all the requirements.' And you don't do jack shit." Mr. Nara accused. "Geez Shikamaru, you'd think with an I.Q. like yours, you'd at least know when a girl likes ya."
"Just shut up will ya." Shikamaru grunted in frustration.
"In a minute." Shikaku grinned. "So what's your game plan? Are you gonna get up off your ass and ask her out? Or are you going to help your old man out?"
For one of the many times in his life, Shikamaru wished God had a mounted laser pointed targeted on him. What the hell am I supposed to do? I hate her… yet I can't help but like her. She's bitchy, scary, hard-headed and why the hell am I drawn to that? Why couldn't I just have been born with normal taste in women? Nara curse, ha! More like a death wish.
"Well, I've made my point." Shikaku said, breaking Shikamaru out of inner thought. "Good luck." And with that, Shikaku stood up and started towards the stairs.
"Hey Dad." Shikamaru stated, causing Shikaku to pause. "Do you really think that if mom's stuck doing your crap for four months, she'll want to do anything else?" Shikamaru stated with a devious tone.
"…ah fuck."
After grabbing another cup of coffee for himself and one for Yoshino, Shikaku left his son to his thoughts and headed back to the master bedroom. Yoshino appeared sound asleep on their California king sized bed, but after hearing shikamaru's morning, Shikaku walked to his side of the bed and placed the coffees on his bed side table. Spilt Eggs were one thing, but coffee could kill you.
"One of those better be mine." Yoshino threatened.
"Depends." Shikaku said with a sly grin as his wife sat up on the bed.
"Yeah, not today pal." Yoshino stated as she grabbed her coffee and took a sip. Shikaku looked like someone just kicked his dog. "Don't give me that look, your spoiled enough as it is." She added sternly.
"Oh all right." Shikaku groaned before sitting on the side of the bed.
"So, what took you so long?" Yoshino asked with a raised eyebrow as she continued to sip her coffee.
"Huh? What took me so long, what?" Shikaku yawned, already half-asleep.
His wife just rolled her eyes. "I swear, any lazier and you'd be a vegetable." She muttered before suddenly, and violently, whacked her husband's head with her pillow, knocking him onto his back. "Feel like talking now, honey?" Yoshino asked sweetly, her smile deadly.
"Alright, ceasefire." Shikaku groaned pathetically before sitting up. "I was talking to Shikamaru."
"Really?" Yoshino wondered, her surprise showing on her face. Then her eyes narrowed. "About what exactly?"
"Oh, you know... guy stuff." The man deflected casually. "Nothing you'd be interested in."
Yoshino obviously wanted more specifics, but she let it drop with a yawn. "Well the young ones should be waking soon; I've got to go get ready." And with that she was up on her feet and into the adjoined bathroom.
"Hey, baby?" Shikaku called while lying back down on the bed. "I think we should call off the bet."
"What? Why?" Yoshino replied as she stuck her head out of the doorway.
"Well... as responsible parents, betting on our children's problems is just plain wrong... no matter how we justify it as being our right as parents." Shikaku lied, trying to sound as sincere as possible.
"Bullshit!" Yoshino roared. "I know what you're up to. And not gonna happen, lover boy!"
"Damnit!"
Hey again. Sorry, but my muse and typing capabilities never seem to match up. My home computer's keyboard is glitching and my Muse keeps dumping me for another author, Bill Shakespeare or something like that. So yeah, I must be a masochist cause this chapter, like the last, keeps trying to kill me. I've got no clue how to go about this story any more. I want to keep going but my vision and plan for this story keeps changing on me.
Well actually, I kind of have it plotted out but not sure how good it's gonna be. I'm afraid it won't have enough build up, or it'll end too quickly or something like that. So because I'm so confused and stuck, but want to continue this story, feel free to shout out any suggestions or such. Maybe it'll help me figure this whole thing out. What I might do is continue as planned and if enough people want me to, I'll redo it another way.
Okay, anyways. I know I said this story was gonna stay T... I lied. I'm might be changing it to M, but only because of the cussing. According to my brother, my profanity use is well above PG-13, or T, or anything like that. And because I don't want to get into any trouble, for reasons I do not understand, I might up the rating. But only for the cursing and such... well for now at least.... no idea what I mean by that... or do I? ...do I? Feel free to give me your thoughts on changing it to M or not.
Hmm, what else? Oh yeah. Thank you all for the reviews. It's encouraging and refreshing to hear from you, and there's quite a few of you. But man, 75 reviews... I am dead seriously impressed, no joke. So please, I beg of you, keep them coming, their like little explosions in my day... and I like explosions.
Well that's all for now, enjoy.
-The person writing this