Chapter 10 – Kashyyyk

The day just seemed to drag on and the sight of the ship was heavenly to Carth. From the very first step they took on Kashyyyk everything had been non stop. Zaalbar had been very aggravated to the point that neither Shira nor Mission was able to calm him down. He refused to stay on the ship. Even at the mention of it he threatened to destroy everything. Carth's stomach dropped at the thought of his beautiful ship being ripped up by the Wookies sharp claws. Shira lifted one finger to shut him up before pushing the issues of Zaalbar anger further. The Wookie stayed tense as he explained how he had been exiled for attacking his brother Chuundar, who was now the chieftain of Rwookrrorro Village. Shira had agreed to let Zaalbar join the away team but within an hour that seemed like a big mistake. Chuundar had then taken Zaalbar captive and the only way they could free him was to deal with the "Mad Wookiee" who happens to be Zaalbar and Chuundar father. Carth knew from the first moment they landed that something like this was going to happen why wouldn't it he thought nothing is ever simple when it comes to this mission. When they were about to head for the lower shadowland the Wookiee elevator operator wouldn't let them go down. According to Shira it said that it was too dangerous to go down at night and they must wait until morning before it would take them. So they returned to the ship which wasn't much comfort to Carth for now the it was overrun by gizka's.

After Carth threw out half a dozen of gizka's from the cockpit, he shut the door and relaxed in his chair. Carth pulled out his pistol and stared at it, in all his years of fighting, he never imagine he'd be using it as much as he has been lately. He was a pilot; a pistol was just a safety precaution, just in case the ship got boarded. As he stared at it his mind began to wonder. Images from the previous night filled his mind. He smiled as he remembered the feel of Shira's lips, the smell of her hair, and the feel of her body. He knew it was wrong to be feeling this for another woman but his wife. It had been so long since she died and he was lonely. He missed the company of a woman who made his heart jump. He missed the feeling of being complete. He wasn't sure how much his feeling for Shira will grow or if he should even let his feelings grow, but what he did know was he was falling for her. "I'm falling for her" he groaned "how did this happen?" he put his pistol down and buried his face in his hands, "is this wrong of me? What about Morgana?..." his voice trailed off as a voice entered his head

"She's dead"

"I know she is but I vowed to revenge her"

"And you will but that doesn't mean you should ignore your feelings"

"How did this happen?"

"Shira is a brave, beautiful, smart, cheeky, fun, kind, caring, just and loyal. She is so much like you but at the same time she is so different why are you questioning this"

"But can I trust her?"

"Maybe, maybe not but why should that matter one day you will need to trust others"

"She's a smuggler"

"And a Jedi but that's not all she is. That is not who she is. It is what she has to do to survive you know that, she told you last night"

"I know but…"

"Carth stop this she is a wonderful woman who makes you feel like there is more to life than just revenge. Embrace her not push her away"

"But…"

"How many chances are you going to get in life to find a woman like her. Don't waste this."

Carth sighed the voice in his head was right but he just didn't want to feel like he was betraying his wife... Suddenly his train of thought was lost when he saw out of the window of the Ebon Hawk Shira leaning against the railing of the bridge gazing out into the forest. Carth smiled, her chocolate brown hair flowed in the wind. He felt compelled to go to her, to talk to her, to just be next to her. He couldn't fight the feeling and he went to her.

The night air was cool. The breeze softly flowed past Carth as he walked towards Shira. He was nervous he didn't know what of last night she remembered she hadn't said a word about it all day. As he got closer to her he could feel his heart racing but before he could say anything she turned around, "hello" she said with a cheerily smile.

Carth calmed his breathing and replied, "Hey". He now stood next to her trying to stay calm.

Shira looked away from him and stared out into the forest again, "I ah… I wanted to thank you for last night… I would have done it early but I though I was better to say it to you privately"

Carth smiled, "you don't need say thank you"

She frowned, "yes I do… you listened to me… I haven't been able to talk to anyone about my brother before…" she then chuckled, "I mean that's what happens when you are a smuggler you never make friends for fear of them backstabbing you or… dying"

Carth felt a pang of pain in his heart "I understand" he did he knew all to well.

Shira suddenly turned with a huge grin on her face, "but don't worry about me I will be fine… Anyway let's move on from what was my drunken whining… How are you?"

Carth was shocked at her sudden change of emotions women's mood swings he thought. At the same time he didn't know whether to be relived or disappointed that she did not mention their kiss last night. He thought it was best not to ask. Deep down inside he wanted the fact that she kissed him back to be true because she cared about him but he was scared it was because she was drunk. He didn't want that to be the reason. Shira looked at him strangely and he realized he had been silent for a little to long. "Ah good a little annoyed at those bloody gizka's. We need to find a way to get rid of them."

"Why I think their cute"

"Cute!" he laughed, "cute or not cute they're going to overrun our ship if they haven't already"

Shira smiled, "okay Carth I'm not quiet sure what to do about them but I will ask the others what they think".

Carth laughed, "Maybe HK-47 can use them as target practice"

Shira laughed, "He would love that"

"Yeah and I wouldn't mind joining him"

"Well then I think we found our solution"

"That is if Juhani and Bastila doesn't lecture us about killing the gizka's for fun"

They both laughed for a while and when silence filled the air they were both happy just to gaze out into the forest together. As they gazed out into the forest Carth notice Shira look at him then quickly turn away. At first she seems to be blushing but sometimes she looked scared uncertain something Carth wasn't quiet used to when it came to her.

After a while Shira broke the silence, "Carth?" Shira asked in a scared tone

"Yes?"

"I know this might be bad of me asking especially how I was last night but it has been on my mind nagging at me for days now"

"What is it?"

She paused for a moment, "Could you tell me why you want revenge on Saul so badly?"

Carth gripped the railing and looked away, "I already told you. He betrayed us all"

Shira placed her hand tenderly on his, "it just seems to be more… personal than that, is all"

Carth sighed you should tell her she was honest with you about her brother's death. "Well, there… there is more to it. I'm… I'm sure you don't want to hear about it"

Out of the corner of his eyes he could see her gazing at him, "I asked didn't I"

Tell her he thought. "It's just I… don't talk about it very much. Okay?" that's no excuse she doesn't talk very much about her brother and she told you. "I told you about my home world Telos. Four years ago, Saul led the Sith fleet there and demanded its surrender. The planet refused and Saul proceeded to devastate its entire surface. Millions died" He could feel the tears swelling in his eyes but he didn't want to cry in front of Shira he wanted to seem strong so he fought them back. He took a deep breath trying to bury his pain and continue. "I had… a wife and son on Telos. I thought they would be safe there. But my task force arrived too late to be of much help" the memories of that day flooded into his mind. "We didn't have enough medical supplies. The colony was burning and the dying were everywhere." The pain in Carth's heart burst as he remembered his wife and all his nightmare of that day, "I remember holding my wife and screaming for the medics. They… they didn't come in time."

"That's terrible, I'm sorry. I didn't know"

He gazed at her, "of course not. How could you? I… had nothing left after that, really. I devoted myself to the fleet. Hunting Saul was my only purpose" he took a deep breath and looked down at her hand on his, "I… miss them. I know killing Saul won't bring them back, and it won't make me happy again…but I have to do it. I don't expect you to understand" liar she understands completely, "I have to pay him back for what he has done… I have to. It's all I have left.

Shira lifted her hand from his, "what was she like, your wife?"

Carth was surprised by the questioned, "she had courage… and was stubborn" he chuckled, "Heh… a little like you in that respect. I could never talk her out of anything once she put her mind to it. And she hated it when I signed back onto the fleet at the start of the war. I had planned on… on leaving soon, to join her…"

"so what happened to your son? You didn't say."

"his name was Dustil and I don't know what happened to him. The colony was a complete ruin , and we never found any trace of him." Shame then filled him, "I made inquiries and followed the reports from Telos for years, but… I stopped." Carth felt better for at least telling Shira the whole truth of his family and quest to kill Saul but he just wanted to forget. Telling Shira all this opened up old wounds and he wanted the pain to stop. "anyway… that's the story. For what it's worth."

Shira kissed him on the cheek, "thank you for telling me."

"I've… never talked about it before. To anyone, I suppose it's time I finally did"

A long silence followed as the two of them again gazed out into the forest. At times Shira looked like she was about to say something but then didn't. The wind was beginning to die down but the air stayed icy. Shira shivered and wrapped her arms around herself trying to keep warm. Carth smiled, "here" he said taking off his jacket "take my jacket"

Shira smiled, "no that's okay I will be fine"

"come on you are shaking just take my jacket it will keep you warm"

"my Jedi robe is very warm thank you very much"

"Don't be so stubborn just put the jacket on"

"no" she said sticking her tongue out at him

"don't make me force you to wear it"

Shira laughed, "I like to see you try"

Carth smiled and then threw his jacket at her but she dodged it.

"ha-ha you missed"

"come here" he said playfully as he chased her. Shira force pushed him away but he just shrugged it off and cried, "hey no fair. No Jedi powers". As Carth chased her around the ship he finally caught up to her and softly tackled her to the ground. As they fell Shira landed on top of him and before either of them said anything Carth quickly wrapped his jacket around her.

Shira giggled as she looked down at him, "okay, okay you win"

Carth chuckled, "I beat a mighty Jedi"

"hey I haven't been a Jedi for that long"

"okay then I caught a wanted smuggler" he laughed.

"very funny" she said as she gazed down at him

Carth hadn't been this playful with anyone except his family it was nice and he couldn't help but grin. A strand of hair fell over Shira face and he softly tucked it behind her ear. Carth leaned up closer to her and whispered, "Shira…" but then was cut off by someone clearing their throat. It was Bastila and Carth cursed under his breath.

Bastila had her hand on her hips, "what are you two doing?"

The two of them quickly got off each other and Shira said, "nothing Bastila"

"I certainly hope not" she said in an annoyed tone, "you are a Jedi and you have a code and a set of rules to follow. Now if you kindly go back to the ship there are some techniques that Juhani and I need to teach you"

Shira rolled her eyes and said under her breath, "uptight bitch… she is such a kill joy"

Carth smirked at her comments as she walked back off to the ship. Carth followed but was soon stopped by Bastila, "Carth I do hope nothing just happened there, Shira is a Jedi and has rules to follow she does not need you distracting her"

Carth couldn't help but laugh he felt like a teenage boy being told off from a girl's mother. Carth had not experienced that since he was a teenager and when first met Morgana.

"Carth do you understand?"

Carth glared at Bastila, "look don't get all Jedi high and mighty with me you know I don't much care for it. And as for Shira well she is more than a Jedi she can do what ever she wants. It's about time you Jedi start treating each other like human beings. But to answer your question yes I do understand and no nothing happened." As Carth brushed past her Bastila grabbed his arm.

"Carth emotions can lead to the darkside. It is to dangerous to allow her to come close to the darkside she needs to follow the path of the light"

"there you go with all your darkside lightside garbage"

"It is not garbage!" she screamed, "the darkside is real and a threat to all Jedi we cannot allow Shira to fall down that path. I cannot allow her to repeat what she did in her dark past"

Just then warning bells rang in Carth's head "what?"

Bastila turned, "it is nothing Carth I am merely thinking out loud. Now if you will excuse me I have to go"

Again Bastila was hiding information from him and it infuriated him. But at the same time he was confused surly she can't mean back when Shira was a smuggler I mean sure that's a crime but not something that a Jedi would think would lead to the darkside… there is so much more to this but what… Carth shook his head he didn't want to think Shira could be again hiding something from him no Bastila must mean about her smuggling days. Shira would have told me last night when she was drunk if she did anything worse she would have… wouldn't she? Carth had to stop thinking like this. It had been a long day and he figured he was reading to much into what Bastila said so he returned to the ship.

Carth was stunned at what Jordo told him. His son Dustil is alive and with the Sith. The thought of his son being alive was overwhelming. He would be jumping for joy but bitter at the fact that he was a Sith crushed any happiness he would feel. Why would he be with the Sith? Where has he been all these year? Why didn't he try and contact me? All these questions and more ran through his mind making their search through the shadowlands a blur and before he knew it they had found the Star Map and was back on the Ebon Hawk ready to leave.

Carth sat quietly absent mindedly typing in the coordinates to Korriban when Shira entered the room.

"Carth?" she whispered

"hmm"

"are you okay?"

"yes, yes I'm fine"

"do you want to talk about it? About Dustil?"

Carth stood up and faced her, "what is there to talk about my son is alive and I must find him"

"I know but he's a…"

"a Sith" he said bitterly looking away.

"yeah… I mean how do you know you can trust him?"

Carth could feel his anger rising "he is my son he is my own flesh and blood. I will trust him no matter what… there has to be a reason why he has become a Sith"

"but… You said you don't trust people… I mean you didn't trust me before and I am with the Republic"

She's right, "he is my son" was all he could say.

"I know and family is important but… but a Sith!"

Carth sighed and took her hands, "Shira if instead of this being my son but your brother wouldn't you want to find him, to trust him and to know there is a reason for him becoming a Sith"

Shira sighed and smiled, "your right… we will go to…" she shivered and let go of Carth's hands "… Korriban to find your son…"

Carth hugged her tightly, he could feel her whole body relax at his touch, "thank you Shira thank you". Carth held her for a while fighting the argue to do more.

She gazed up at him with her sweet smile "your welcome" she then let go of him and cheekily said "now flyboy if you don't mind" she pointed to the pilot chair "could you get us off this planet".