To Help a Raging Voyager Spirit

Chapter 9: Man to man

Síofra Rose Kelly

Born: May 14th 1863

Died: January 15th 1885

Cause of death: Congenital heart defect. Heart attack.

Phineas refused go any further into her records, what more could there be? A beautiful, lively woman cut down at the height of her youth. He sank his face into his hands and ran his fingers through his hair wearily.

'Damn! Only five days after I left her!' He thought. A terrible feeling engulfed him. Suppose his leaving her in the lurch brought about her sudden death? Her uncle was right, he'd broken her heart.

"I should have just stayed with her, enjoyed the countryside, spent every moment I could have with her…instead I had to go on some wild tangent and find David. She told me it was no use…" He lamented aloud.

"You did it because you felt love for her. You wanted to save her." David's mild voice interrupted his thoughts.

Phineas turned as David entered the room. "Of course I did."

"I didn't mean to interrupt, Phineas. I feel much better after that nap and great dinner, and I thought you might've wanted to have a talk. Don't worry about Jeffrey, he's passed out like a light."

Phineas flicked off the screen, but not before David saw a blinking notation on her archive. It was a change. He smiled, but kept quiet. Phineas stretched himself and stood up.

"Sure David, I'd like that. I have a certain spot I like to go to, not far off the grounds. It's nothing much, just a rock by a lake."

"Your own place of solitude, I know what that's like. Let's go, then."

Night had fallen and David was taken aback at the brilliance of the stars. Two moons beamed over the land; Voyager Planet was remarkable. They stopped by the glistening rock and Phineas shifted himself atop it, wrapping his arms across his legs. David jumped alongside him and sat with one leg up, watching the moonbeams ripple across the clear waters.

"So, I suppose you're wondering about me…I mean, the whole story." David said.

Phineas flicked a few pebbles in the water and stared at him curiously. "Yes, I am. From the little time we've spent with you, there's so much more than meets the eye. Well, it's obvious, since Voyager Headquarters has you here…and this creature you call "The Hulk."

"How far back would you like me to go? I was born on the side of a hill…" David started joking and Phineas grinned.

"Umm, start from when young David Banner decided he wanted to be a doctor."

David's eyes clouded over and he gulped. "That's easy, it was a very windy November day in Colorado and I was ten years old. My mother had taken very ill. She must have had a 'walking pneumonia' as they'd call it, because she'd collapsed after Thanksgiving dinner."

"My father was a terribly stubborn farmer. For days he kept insisting she'd be fine; that we didn't need a doctor…then came that awful morning. I knew it even then that she wasn't going to make it. She was writhing around in bed, coughing, gasping…telling me it will be all right and that she loved my sister and me. She convulsed and passed out. I ran…Phineas, I ran for my life into the fields to get my father. By the time he came back, she was dead."

David halted and rubbed his eyes. It was a moment he would never forget. The same way Jeffrey told him he would never forget seeing his parents in the burning camper. Phineas curled his mouth sadly; his heart went out to David. He waited for him to continue.

"I looked my father straight in the eye and blamed him. For whatever foolish reasons he had, he didn't get the doctor in time. I knew then for certain, that's what I wanted to be. I'd always loved science."

David stopped and laughed at his memories. "My poor sister, her name's Helen…she used to hate that I experimented on her dolls! She grew up to become a scientist in her own right, but she stayed on the farm and worked hard to preserve it."

Phineas laughed at that. "Does your family know about the Hulk?"

"Now they do. I visited them two years ago. I felt nostalgic, I missed them a lot. Especially Helen. Just like the rest of the world, they'd thought I died in the lab fire. My secret came out after I helped my father save his farm from corrupt businessmen. I hadn't seen my father in twenty-five years. We parted with such hatred and I ran off to college on scholarships. It was quite a homecoming, but he understood. He was terribly sorry for all the pain and his gruff manner. He always said I was too much like my mother for my own good."

"You mean, kind, gentle and considerate?"

David chuckled. "Something like that…but I think having that outlook did plenty of good…if not for me, then for the people I've come across."

Phineas shifted his legs. "So, you run off and become this brilliant doctor and physicist…then what happened?"

David slid off the rock and paced around, keeping his hands clasped behind his back. It was always hard to dredge up this tumultuous period of his life. He continued his story, how he'd met his wife Laura and finally put aside the textbooks to marry her. Phineas listened with intense interest as he talked about the car accident and his near fanatical experiments with aggression and adrenaline. David stopped talking abruptly when he mentioned his beautiful assistant Elaina Marks. She had such a loving, calm manner. She was secretly in love with him for years. Where Laura had little interest in science, Elaina embraced it. She always had strong confidence in his abilities and he'd often took her for granted.

David leaned on the rock, and banged it hard. A small cry escaped him and he laid his head down.

"I loved her, Phineas. I really did. I just wasn't in the right frame of mind to do anything about it."

Phineas jumped off and put an arm over David's shoulder, just letting him cry. Sometimes even the strongest of men needed a moment for tears.

"David, you don't have to tell me everything if you don't wanna. But we're friends now and if you ever need to talk…just say the word."

David raised himself and wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He grasped Phineas' arm for support.

"Thank you, Phineas. When you and Jeffrey found me, I was ready to give it all up and die in the hands of the Klan. I was tired…tired of running and hiding. My life may seem exciting, but it's formulaic – traveling one place after another, someone or something gets me angry or I get involved in people's affairs. The Hulk comes, throws a few guys around and then it's time to go! Not to mention always being hunted down–relentlessly–by this damn reporter Jack McGee from Chicago! No matter where I went, or what I tried, it never helped me. The one time I had a cure, it was destroyed and I couldn't get it back."

David dropped his hand and walked closer to the lake, kicking at the stones. He gazed up at the sky. Phineas followed, intrigued.

"I'm torn now, Phineas…entirely grateful, but torn. This may seem crazy to you, but I…"

"You don't know if you want to be cured. The Hulk is connected to you. You feel like if you destroy him, you destroy part of yourself." Phineas finished for him gently.

"That's exactly it! I know nothing will go wrong…he'll just disappear and never come back…but I…I almost feel like I'm murdering him and he's never killed a soul in his life. Remember what I told you…what Elaina said?"

"Yes, 'The creature won't kill, because David Banner won't kill.' I remember."

"Phineas, if I do this, then…I will be killing him! Won't I? Oh God, I don't know anymore!" David shouted in frustration.

Phineas was at a loss. He imagined if he were in David's shoes, he would want the cure, but life had many layers and every decision had a consequence, whether good or bad.

"David, I can't tell you I understand your problems as far as the metamorphosis is concerned…but…I can empathize with you as a human. As a traveler."

David looked at the young man calmly. "How do you mean?"

"I'm a Voyager! I was plucked out of time and trained to travel through the ages. A Voyager is always on the go, meeting fascinating people, helping them, but just when you get…" Phineas made a small gesture with his thumb and forefinger, "…this close, you have to leave. We're always keeping secrets, staying in the background, sometimes being forced to have false identities. Our desire is to help everyone we can, but here's our dilemma…we can't!"

Phineas became thoughtful and an example came to mind. He waved his hand over the lake, remembering the freezing ocean water, screams, and desperation.

"I was on the Titanic when it sank, but what was I there for? To help a fellow Voyager, yes…but ultimately to save a painting, David. The Mona Lisa. Over two thousand people lost their lives in the worst ways and I was only able to salvage a lousy painting! I had to be strong and explain to Jeffrey why we couldn't save them all…but inside I felt just like him, confused and heartbroken."

"Wow. Phineas, I'm so sorry. It has to be really tough knowing the outcome of your missions."

Phineas paced. He rubbed his head and then gestured to his heart.

"How about love, David? It's almost impossible for a Voyager to form strong attachments to anyone, it could change history and…we couldn't stay with them if we wanted to. Unless of course, we quit."

Phineas leaped onto the rock. David crossed his arms and watched him attentively. Phineas Bogg was still a very young man. His wisdom, desires, and ideals were constantly shifting. David decided a while ago that Phineas was a fine man, full of valor and sincerity to do what's right, despite the obstacles. Those characteristics would only grow more apparent with time and experience.

"David we can't quit! This is our job, and it's vital…David, the Hulk is only a good guy because you're a good guy. The Hulk only exists because you do. You have a chance to free yourself…take it! The Hulk exists because of a mistake, you have to correct it. He's done all the good he can do. David, you're the reason why he does good at all. You said earlier that you wanted to give up and end it all. NO! Your life is too valuable. If you go back to earth now, what would you do? Carry on that lonely man routine until you die or get captured? That's all that's left for you out there."

Phineas finished breathless and jumped down in front of him. "I don't want that to happen to you, David."

David's eyes filled with tears again. "You're right, Phineas. I…I don't want it anymore! Tomorrow morning I'm going to the lab and they can start their procedures."

Phineas wasn't sure if he should smile or cry with him. He gave David a brisk hug and started back toward the complex. David followed, and finally asked softly –

"What about you and Síofra? What were your plans?"

Phineas stiffened and turned around. "David…I don't…I don't know what to do! Maybe I should just forget it all. I've only fallen in love once in my life and I had to leave her because history would've went sour. But this time, there's little consequence if she's gonna die anyway. I want to be with her, even if it's only for those few days."

David put an arm over him. He was growing to love Phineas and Jeffrey like sons.

"Phineas, let me tell you a love story, about a lost and desperate wanderer named David…and a dying woman named Caroline."