Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or the characters. Songs: Everything I Do by Brian Adams and Listen To Your Heart by DHT (I think?)
Boulevard of Broken Dreams — X
Previously ...
Rukia numbly climbed from the car when they reached the ER and ran on shaky feet to find Ichigo. The nurses tried to stop her, but she ran straight past them and into the trauma room. Ichigo was laid out on a bed that used to be white but was now completely stained with his blood. The doctors were yelling things she didn't understand, and as she watched, she realized that he still wasn't breathing.
"Get her out of here!" someone yelled. Rukia didn't care. She let herself be pulled from the room. The smell of blood was assaulting her senses, and as she looked down at her hands, she realized she was covered in blood, too ... Ichigo's blod.
She closed her eyes and screamed.
"No!"
Rukia took in several shaky breaths as she was led away from the window by Renji. She struggled in his arms, whispering the protests that her scared mind wouldn't allow her to yell. When Renji had taken her into the waiting room, she collapsed into a chair and put her head in her hands. This couldn't be happening. Yet it was. She had always seen these things. Children crying over their parents, mothers crying over lost children ... but she had never believed that it would happen to her. And after hearing of her sister ... after hearing of the death of the one she loved so much, her wounds were ripped wide open at the thought of losing someone else.
She let herself cry silently. Renji and Byakuya were explaining the situation to Ishida and Inoue, who had just arrived. Renji was close to tears, something no one ever thought was possible, and Inoue was openly sobbing, her head buried in Ishida's chest. Rukia noticed that they were being stared at from several people in the room. But she didn't care.
Ichigo ...
Look into my eyes, you will see what you mean to me.
Search your heart, search your soul,
When you find me there you'll search no more.
Rukia shook her head. She shouldn't have ran out in the street like that. If she hadn't, Ichigo wouldn't be dying - dead? - right now. They would be happily walking home, the sun setting behind them and their laughter and sarcastic remarks floating through the air.
"It was my fault ... " she whispered.
"Rukia ..." Renji began, sitting down beside her.
"It was my fault." Her voice was stronger this time. "It was my fault ... he shielded my body with his, and he's dying because of what I did."
"We don't know that he's dying."
"I was my fault ... I caused thi-"
Renji cut her off.
"No. No it wasn't. Nothing could have stopped this. The man driving was drunk. It wasn't your fault, Rukia, it wasn't your fault."
She just ignored him. She just cried.
Don't tell me it's not worth tryin' for,
You can't tell me it's not worth dyin' for.
You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.
"Miss Rukia?"
Rukia looked up to see a doctor standing above her. The man looked to be twice her age, at least, and had brown hair. He said, "Miss Rukia, I'm sorry to bother you, but there was a bus crash and the flood of paitents drained our storage of blood transfusions. We're out of blood until more comes. Ichigo needs an immediate transfusion, though. We managed to restart his heart, but he had lost too much blood to last long. According to the records, he had blood type AO. The only types compatible are AA, AO and OO. Do any of you have one of those types?"
Rukia slowly raised her hand, wiping her tears away.
"I do."
"Would you be willing to do a direct transfusion?" The doctor asked hurriedly; Ichigo's life was ticking away as he spoke.
"Yes," Rukia said quickly.
"Please then, come with me. What is your blood type?"
"AO," Rukia said, following the man back, not sparing a glance back to their friends. She needed to do this; she had to. She wanted to.
"Good."
Rukia was silent as she was led away from the group. But instead of moving to the trauma room, she was led up an elevator and then took into a very clean room, dressed in a blue gown, her hair tied up in a net, and her hands washed hard before a mask was placed over her face.
It was the Operating Room.
When she finally was led to the room that Ichigo was in, she gasped.
He was on the table, his eyes closed and his face deathly pale. His breathing was slow, and the tube in his mouth was connected to several beeping machines. She reached out a shaky hand and touched his face before the doctor laid her down on a bed that had been moved in beside Ichigo's. She turned her eyes to face him and watched as a small tube was put in her arm and taped there. The other end of the tube was connected to a small machine between her and Ichigo, and a second tube was in his arm.
Soon, her blood was flowing into the machine, and, as she watched, it went directly into the tube in Ichigo's arm. A woman doctor walked over and smiled down at her, patting her arm. She was wearing a mask over her face, like all the other surgeons.
"You OK, sweetie?" she asked.
"Yes. Thanks," Rukia said quietly, her eyes not moving from Ichigo's still form. She couldn't see it, but she knew that Ichigo was being operated on, and they were trying to seal up the internal bleeding. She watched as they scrambled around and did their very best to save Ichigo's life.
The nurse spoke again. "I'm Isane. Is he you're boyfriend?"
Rukia shook her head and Isane didn't speak again. Rukia's violet eyes were glued to the tube that her blood was flowing into. Strangely enough, it didn't scare her. It was oddly satisfying. Ichigo had bled for her sake ... and as her warm blood moved from her body, it felt as though she was returning an unseen favor. Her tears had already dried up. She wouldn't, no, couldn't, cry as she watched the line that indicated Ichigo's heartbeat go flat. She wanted to cry ... but her tears were all gone.
Look into your heart, you will find, there's nothing to hide.
Take me as I am, take my life,
I would give it up, I would sacrifice.
Yells were heard and doctors were frantic as Ichigo's heart had stopped, but Rukia noticed none of it. Everything in her world was blank for some reason. She heard the soft shouts and the shrill, shrieking of the machines, but ... she didn't.
And as her vision slowly blacked out, all she saw was the still face of Ichigo and lips that would probably never bring another breath in again.
Don't tell me it's not worth fighting for,
I can't help it, there's nothing I want more,
You know it's true, everything I do, I do it for you.
Rukia slowly opened her eyes, and as she realized why she was there, and where there was, she bolted up in the small bed she was lying in. She was alone. She could, however, see Renji and Inoue outside the door. Ishida and Byakuya had to have been with Ichigo. But, this didn't look right ... was she dreaming?
Was Ichigo even alive?
It felt like she was dreaming ... but everything seemed to real. Rukia laid back down in her bed, her heart beating fast.
It only beat because of what he did ...
She let tears well up in her eyes as she turned onto her side and put her hands under her head. Here she was, breathing and living, while Ichigo was most probably dead. Because of what she had done.
Before it had all happened, she had kissed him. It was a small, heat-of-the-moment thing, and she wasn't even thinking about it then ... but ... now, she wished that she had thought it through first. She was so happy at the moment, she had barely even felt it, but ...
A ghost of a smile filtered over Rukia's face as she reached her fingers up to trace her lips. She could still feel Ichigo's lips on her own, and as she stood to her feet, she walked over to the door. But when she opened it, she was faced with a long, empty hall, not the small, pretty reception area she had seen outside her window.
She was dreaming ... she had to be ...
Rukia let her hands run along the wall as she walked. The end of the hall never came closer. The light at the end seemed to be getting only further away, and as she looked in on it, she could see Ichigo standing in the light.
"Ichigo ... " she whispered, breathing in deeply as she stopped in her tracks. Ichigo smiled at her and turned around, walking deeper into the light that was encasing his body. He said softly, "Rukia, please save me."
"What can I do?" Rukia asked, her voice raising as she felt her knees weakening under her.
Listen to your heart, when he's calling for you.
Listen to your heart ... there's nothing else you can do.
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why,
but listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye.
"Please Rukia ... save me ... "
"How!? How, Ichigo? What can I do? How can I save you ... ?"
Rukia fell to her knees and blinked tears from her eyes as she stared into the light; he was gone. She let her head drop into her hands again. It was only a dream ... so why did it feel so real? Why did she feel tears flowing down her face? Why did she feel her heart breaking to pieces?
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile,
The precious moments are lost in the tide, yeah.
They're swept away, and nothing is as it seems,
A feeling only belonging to your dreams.
The light at the end of the tunnel went out, and Rukia was left alone. She clenched her eyes shut tightly, screaming in her mind. She wanted to go home ... this was a dream ... it had to all be a dream. She was still sleeping at home, she would be singing later that day ... she was still home, and Ichigo was still alive ...
When she opened her eyes, she was looking up into the soft eyes of Isane, the nurse. Isane smiled, relieved, when she saw Rukia open her eyes.
"Miss Rukia, you passed out there for a few minutes."
Rukia turned immediately to see Ichigo in the bed next to her. The tube in her arm had been taken out, and the monitor that was taking in Ichigo's vital signs was beeping weakly. He was alive.
"Ichigo ... " Rukia said softly, her eyes turning to him. She then asked Isane, "Is he OK?"
"He's alive. That's about all I can say. He's alive ... for now."
Rukia nodded, holding back tears as she watched the doctors finish stitching up the large gash in his chest. Rukia watched him until she heard the all-to-familiar sound assaulting her ears.
"Damn! That's the third time he's flat-lined!" one of the doctors yelled, cursing as he took out the paddles. "Charge to two hundred and fifty!"
"No, no, no ... this can't be happening," Rukia whispered. "No, Ichigo ... I don't know how I can save you, but please, please come back to me. Please, come back."
She closed her eyes and she could once again see the light at the end of the hall. She had to reach him. She had to stop him.
She jumped to her feet and ran down the hall, wishing it were not all in her mind. In real life, she knew she was laying on a simple white bed with Ichigo, dying, beside her. In real life, there was an end to the hall, and in real life, there was nothing she could do to save Ichigo. But here ... maybe ...
In real life ... another shrill, shrieking sound joined the first and the doctors cursed louder, running over to Rukia's side, trying to bring her back as she tried to follow Ichigo into the light. She wanted to save him, to pull him back from there, to keep him from death. She wanted to save him. She needed to save him. But as she ran into the light, she could feel herself dying. But she could see him ... he was so close, she only needed to reach out to him and pull him back.
So, she did. She grabbed onto his arm and pulled with all her might. When he exited the light, he collapsed in her arms and she just buried her face in his hair and cried. And in real life, Ichigo took another breath, his chest moving up and down with life as tears slipped from the eyes of the girl in the bed next to him.
But she was smiling, in real life, and even if she was crying, they were tears of happiness.
Hmm ... well, that. Was. Weird, huh? What did ya think?
Please Review!