Mister you're fired! Guess who I hired!

To represent me, you gotta be –

LEGALLY BLONDE!

Thanks for reviews etc. and my ownership of Glee hasn't changed in the past few days...

Rachel would be lying if she said she wouldn't be embarrassed walking into the theatre, but still in true Berry style she held her head high and marched straight towards the signposted rehearsal room, all thoughts of Noah and Jesse left behind in the taxi she had taken. They wouldn't be staying there, she realised abruptly as she walked in, for as well as the SM- Nigel- and a lady in a jumper that said "Vocal coach" there was Noah, standing in the corner, eating a McMuffin.

'Rachel!' Nigel ran up to her, hugging her. 'Did you get the note, the flowers? I can't apologise enough! Okay, so this is Sarah, our vocal coach,' he gestured towards the woman who had appeared at his side. 'She'll be helping you learn your songs. It will take us past today, obviously, but we can start.'

'It's a pleasure to meet you,' Rachel said politely, shaking her hand, though her eyes were still fixed on Noah. 'Um, what is Noah doing here? I- I thought he was the drummer.'

'Ah, he's also the dance captain,' Nigel explained. A dancer? If Rachel wasn't so pissed with him she would have thought that was hot.

'Oh...'

'Okay, everyone finish up what you're doing, we start in 5 minutes!'

Pulling her water bottle out of her bag, Rachel dumped her things against a wall; purposefully away from Noah, who she had hoped wouldn't try to speak to her about non-show related matters.

'Rachel.'

Oh, God, his voice was like chocolate.

'Y-yes?' Smooth, Rachel.

'Has whatever crawled up your butt come out now? 'Cause it ain't so hot when you're all pissed at me.'

'Noah, I don't want to talk to you. Yesterday Santana made it perfectly clear what your intentions with me are. I know that you're a womaniser, Noah, and I find it frankly disgusting that you would go this far to seduce a woman in as fragile a state of mind as I am.'

'You wanna start making sense, Rachel?'

'Santana told me how much you hit on her, and other women, and she helped me see that you really are just a... a buttmunch.'

'A buttmunch?'

'Yes.'

'Come with me.' He took her hand and, behind the backs of Nigel and Sarah they slipped out of the door, out of the theatre and stood just beside his car.

'I'm not going anywhere with you,' she said as he dropped her hand and unlocked the car.

'Good, 'cause I'm not driving you anywhere.' He opened the door and leaned in, bending over to get to the glove box (Rachel tried not to enjoy the view too much), from which he produced about a dozen pieces of paper. He pressed them into her hands. 'Here.'

'What are they?' she unfolded the first one.

'Letters. From you to me over the past year.'

'Letters? Why would I write you letters?'

'It was... our thing.'

Dear Noah,

Last weekend was amazing. I mean, the whole two days, without Jesse... It made me realise how much I love you. I'm in love with you, Noah, and even though-

'When did I write this one?' she asked quietly, tearing her eyes away.

'Last week,' he said, his eyes on the paper. 'The day before the accident.'

'Oh my...'

'Read this one,' he took the letter from the bottom of the pile and moved it to the top so she could read it.

Dear Noah,

Well, I never expected Vegas to go that way, that's for sure. It was phenomenal; I can't lie to you, way better than anything Jesse has ever given me in that department. Speaking of whom, Jesse doesn't suspect anything of my feelings for you, which I can say are firmly cemented after that amazing sex. I didn't know what to say when you suggested we start something between us but now I know I want you; again and again and again. I will take your offer up of meeting next Saturday but practicality dictates that we need to take precautions. I know of your reputation with the ladies, Noah, so while I am hoping that these tendencies will be put on hold for the duration of our time together I must ask that you flirt with every woman you can, just to stop people finding out. I know it sounds crazy but I think it's for the best.

See you Saturday,

Rachel.

'So... I asked you to be a womaniser?'

'To cover us up. Yeah.'

'Did you...'

'I never slept with another chick, Rachel. I can promise you that. It's always been you.'

'So, what Santana said...?'

'True, just means that she doesn't expect anything.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't worry.'

'I just-'

'It's fine.' He pulled her into a hug. 'We should get back to rehearsals.'

'Oh yeah, Mr. Dance Captain...'

He laughed. 'What?'

'Nothing, I just wouldn't imagine you as the dancing type.'

'You ain't seen nothing yet, babe.'

They headed back up to the rehearsal room, where the other two hadn't actually realised they'd left.

'Okay, let's start with a warm up, then Noah can walk Rachel through Act 2's tango routine.' Nigel said, taking a seat.

God must be making up for my horrible day yesterday, Rachel thought as she started to stretch.

A BIT LATER

'5, 6, 7 and end!' Noah applauded Rachel as she successfully danced through her finale dance number. 'Good one babe.' They high-fived and then hugged.

'Thanks,' she glanced up at him mid-hug, overcome by a sudden urge to kiss him.

'And I think that's lunch,' Nigel said, closing the laptop he had been typing on. 'Meet back here in 45 minutes, everybody. I'll be in the stage management room if you need me.' He headed off.

'Noah!' Sarah bounded up to him before Rachel had a chance to speak, a huge smile on her face. 'Maybe now would be the time for us to sit down and discuss that musical number we were having problems with? Unless you have other plans, of course.'

'Uh, I guess so...' He said, casting a subtle apologetic glance towards Rachel.

'Cool, I'll get my stuff,' she walked over to pick her bag up, bending down slowly as if to entice Noah, who had to suppress a laugh.

'Not my type,' he murmured to Rachel, winking as he went to get his stuff.

'Of course not,' she smiled at him before heading down to the lobby, where she heard two oddly familiar voices chatting.

'Maybe we could go to Hard Rock, I mean, we've got an hour?'

'I don't know, I was just thinking we could grab a pizza.'

'Just 'cause you want the waiter in Pizza Hut!'

'Hey, you know that's not true!'

'I know it is!'

Kurt and Mercedes!

Rachel eagerly ran into the box office, where she saw her old friends, both wearing theatre uniforms, leaning against the desk.

'Oh my God, you guys!' she ran up to them, enveloping Kurt in a hug. 'I can't believe I haven't seen you yet!'

'Yeah...' Kurt hugged back half-heartedly. 'How are you?'

'Amnesia aside, I feel good! You know the last thing I remember if that night out we had, where Finn stood me up? And I left early and that girl knocked me out?'

'Oh yeah...'

'So are you guys going to lunch?'

'Well, yeah, but...'

'Cool!' Rachel's phone started ringing. 'Oh, hang on,' she turned away to answer the call. 'Hello?'

'Hey... is Aaron there?'

'No, there's no Aaron here, I'm afraid.'

'Shit, I got the wrong number. My bad.'

'Quite alright.' The call ended and Rachel turned back to her friends. Who were... gone? Rachel was confused. Where did they go? Why would they just disappear? She hurriedly headed out the front door to see the two of them hailing a taxi.

'You guys!' she waved at them. 'Where are you going... Have I done something to you?'

'Well...' Mercedes started awkwardly. 'We haven't really spoken in a while...'

'Why not?'

'To put it bluntly, when you met Jesse you...'

'You became a mega-bitch.' Kurt finished.

'Huh?'

'You stopped returning our calls, then changed your number. You outright ignored us and then when you were cast in this we were all of a sudden working for you and to be honest hon, you treated us like the crap on the bottom of your shoe. So we stopped trying. That was about a year ago, and just now was the first two words you've uttered in our presence other than "Decaf now."'

'Oh my God... I didn't realise.'

'It's just what happened,' Mercedes said.

'I understand.'

'Look, you can join us for lunch if you want...'

'Oh, no... I don't think it would be right. I'll just get a sandwich or something.' A taxi pulled up on the curb.

'See you.'

'Bye.'

As the car drove off, Rachel held back her tears and headed into the Subway across the street, suddenly not caring how low-carb she was.

There were no seats inside the shop, so upon rescuing her sandwich she decided to just go and eat in the rehearsal room.

The route to the rehearsal room took her past the stage management room, where the door was slightly ajar. As she passed she heard a snippet of a conversation.

'...clearly not fit to portray the character of Mimi...' a voice was saying.

Rachel froze. Mimi was her character. She pressed herself against the wall so she could hear in, and just about see the girl who had been introduced to her as her understudy, talking to Nigel.

'I just feel that although her circumstances are unfortunate there is no room here for her to be so behind it all.'

Oh my God! The cheek! She strained to hear what Nigel was saying.

'Brittany, I know that you're eager to take on the role permanently but Rachel is a very talented performer and I fully believe that in next to no time she will be in full working order. However I do agree with your comment about the industry so rest assured that if she is not back to normal in less than ten days I will be rethinking her casting.'

'Awesome.'

Rachel clapped her hand two her mouth and backed away. Ten days? That was nothing! This guy had clearly never had to learn a whole show before! Silently she started to run back towards the rehearsal room, though before she could get there a strong pair of hands caught her shoulders.

'Rachel? What's up?'

'Noah!' she looked up. 'I-I thought you were with Sarah?'

He raised an eyebrow. 'Her husband called.'

Rachel tried to share a laugh with him but it turned into a sob, and she found herself crying into his t-shirt. He quickly led her into the room and sank down on to the floor with her, cradling her in his lap.

'What happened?' he asked, rubbing her back.

'I'm almost out of a job,' she sniffed. 'And my best friends hate me.'

'The fuck?'

And with that Rachel told him all that had happened in the last twenty minutes and he listened wholeheartedly, his chin resting on the top of her head.'

'It's just... I've been thrown into this new life and at first it was exciting but now everyone seems to expect everything of me; things that I just can't deliver, as well as people - turning their back on me because of things I can't remember doing!' she angrily rubbed her tears away with the heel of her hand.

'Rach,' he tipped her chin up so he could look her in the eyes. 'You are without a fuckin' doubt the most talented performer I have come across, however literally you wanna take that term. I remember when we first worked in this show you had everything down about a week before everyone else involved and you were a real pain in the ass just 'cause you were so eager to get out there. You're... determined and so much hotter – I mean, more talented than suckass Brittany and even if you didn't get everything perfect in, what was it, ten days, the director would be fuckin' stupid to replace you. And it's not like every producer in town isn't tripping over themselves to cast you, you're like the Liza Minnelli of this century.' He breathed out. 'And as for Kurt and Mercedes... Five years is a long time. It's how long I've known Jesse and God knows I don't feel the same way about him as I did when I met him. Best you can do is convince them you're a changed person and they'll love you again. I noticed how sweet the new you is and that's not just 'cause I'm bangin' you.' Rachel smiled and leaned up to kiss him.

'Thanks,' she whispered. He smiled and wiped the last tear from her cheek.

'No problem,' he kissed the top of her head, pulling her in for a hug. She cuddled into him, burying her face in his t-shirt. Suddenly, her mind was spinning. She leaned back, brow furrowed.

'What's up?' Noah asked.

'I-I don't know...' she leaned in again, smelling his t-shirt. 'This t-shirt. I-I've seen it before. I don't... It makes me think of sand. Sand, and... I don't know.' She put a hand on his stomach, clutching at the material.

'Rachel.' She looked up. Noah was smirking. 'I was wearing this two weeks ago when we went to the beach.'

'What?'

'This reminded you of it?'

'I just... I had a picture in my mind of it, and sand.'

'You remembered it?'

'I – I guess I did!' she laughed and hugged him. 'Oh my gosh...'

Bloomin' 'eck, 2,317 words? This was only a few pages in my notebook!

Peace, love and reviews be with you.

JTPH

xxx