CHAPTER TEN
MINISTRY OF SHIT
Mrs. Weasley hugged George.
"What if the last thing I ever said to you was that you had a small dick?" Mrs. Weasley said.
Mr. Weasley took a swig of Jack and scanned the Daily Prophet.
"Who fucking wrote this shit?" said Mr. Weasley.
"That tranny Rita Skeet-er," said Percy.
Ron went to go take a dump.
Harry sat Hermione down on Ron's bed.
"There's something I have to tell you," Harry said.
"Yes?" said Hermione.
Ron marched in.
"Come on Harry — let's play Quidditch," said Ron.
"Fuck off," said Hermione. "Harry doesn't want to play Quidditch right now.… He's tired.… We need to go to bed.…"
"I'll get my Firebolt," said Harry.
Hermione muttered, "Asshole."
"It's been a shitstorm," Percy told them. "People keep sending Howler bombs, bitching."
Mrs. Weasley glanced at the clock.
Eight of the hands were pointing to "home," Mr. Weasley's to "traveling," and none to "getting raped in prison."
"Well, the shit's really hit the fan now," Mr. Weasley told her. "Rita Skeet's a bitch."
"That cunt called me 'a gaping-mouthed retard'," said Bill.
Harry and Ron were packing.
Ron held up a flaming tuxedo.
"Is there something you haven't told me?"
Mrs. Weasley entered.
"Those are yours," said Mrs. Weasley.
"The fuck it is," said Ron. "I'm not cross-dressing."
"I'll go gay before I put that shit on," said Ron.
"I'm not cross-dressing," Ron was saying.
"Fine," snapped Mrs. Weasley. "Go gay. We'll disown you."
"Why the fuck is everything I own shit?" said Ron.
Harry looked at him.
"Because you're shit."