Chapter 10: September

He couldn't pretend he wasn't nervous.

His mother had smiled through her tears at the airport, murmuring things about flying the nest, that it had to happen sometime, and she was only glad he was going somewhere so exciting even if it was far away. She said he would be fine, more to reassure herself than him. His heart had soared as soon as the wheels of the plane had left the ground, although now, staring at the blackness outside the window, punctured only by the tiny blinking light at the end of the wing, Kili's jitters were starting to overwhelm him, breaking out from the little box in the back of his mind where he had squashed them.

The wildlife photographer budding inside him was long gone. He'd scoured the internet, pelted his CV at almost every anti-poaching organization he could find was elated when several accepted him – the next year for him was lined up with internships and bouts of fieldwork training. His biology degree was much better suited to conservation than photography anyway.

He felt now, deep in his bones, that he had truly found his calling. He couldn't wait to touch down and start his new journey in Kenya, the country whose people and places he had fallen in love with after his very first step on those red soils. Every time he reminisced about Kenya he remembered it with fondness and exhilaration. There was so much left to discover, so much more he wanted to explore, to do, to learn, to see.

And now he was moving there. There. Hundreds and thousands of miles away from the place he had called home for twenty-two years. There was something definitely slightly daunting, if also extremely exciting, about that prospect. Being out there with a new job, to make new friends, with a new friend – Fili.

He remembered their last kiss very well – had savoured and replayed it hundreds of times in his mind, had relived it so often he wasn't sure if some of the details had been real or if he'd made them up. Whenever he'd gone on walks with Bella and his mother he'd stopped for a second at that spot, closing his eyes; he told his mother it was nothing when she asked, but he was sure the little smile on his face gave him away.

He and Fili had been in almost constant contact since they last saw eachother in Dorset, but Kili couldn't help but feel that their conversations over texts and facebook had seemed very, well… platonic. And they'd hardly ever skyped – whenever Kili saw that blonde face on his screen and heard his familiar voice, he found himself overcome with shyness and utterly unable to have a conversation like a normal human being. Email was safer – he didn't stumble over his words or struggle to think of anything to say and, besides, Fili hated facebook.

What was he expecting? Fili had said he'd meet him at the airport. But then where? Kili's job was in the city – and Fili had said that he had gotten a little place in Nairobi where he could stay. But then what? They had skirted round the issue, never discussing whether they would actually live together or not. And honestly, common sense scolded him, even if they did get along like a house on fire, was that really a wise option, given that they'd only ever met twice, really?

He held his breath as the lights below them grew larger and larger, the wheels of the plane hit the ground with a jerk and a roaring filled his ears as the plane lifted it wingflaps and slowed to an eventual halt on the runway.

Contrary to his previous experiences, his suitcase was one of the first off the plane and onto the baggage belt. He only had one – packed to the brim, he'd had to argue with the lady behind the check-in desk to avoid paying a fine for overweight baggage (he'd evaded it by stepping on the scales himself to prove he was in fact underweight; the grumpy check-in lady, unable to find a flaw in his argument, grudgingly allowed his luggage to pass through, after pointedly slapping an 'OVERWEIGHT' sticker onto its side).

His heart was beating hard as he made his way out of the departure terminals, past customs to the International Arrivals. He wondered if it would be awkward, if they would hug. Should he kiss him in greeting? Or would that be too forward? It had been almost eight months since they had seen eachother after all. Fili could have found someone else for all he knew. They hadn't made any promises.

Fili spotted a dark lanky figure. It wasn't hard, at this time of night hardly any passengers were around.

"Hey."

"Hey!"

He seemed to have taken him by surprise. Kili's eyes were wide as he took in Fili. There was an odd pause for a fraction of a second, before they both opened their arms and embraced.

"It's good to see you," Fili whispered.

"You too."

They broke apart, and Fili grabbed Kili's single suitcase. "This all you've got?"

"Yeah."

They got into the familiar red Land Cruiser. It occurred to Kili that he didn't have a clue where they were headed.

"Where are we going?"

"Well um – there's this place," Fili replied. "That I've, um – been renting."

"Oh, yeah."

"It's quite sweet, just a little bungalow and it's in a good area." Fili was repeating himself, he had already told Kili about it in an email a few weeks ago.

"Uh huh," was all Kili could answer.

Given the lack of traffic it took them surprisingly little time to get there. It was still dark, but the sky was just starting to lighten, suggesting dawn was on its way. Kili could just make out a large garden with the vague shapes of trees beyond the low bungalow.

"We're on the outskirts of Karura forest," Fili told him. "So we get monkeys in the garden. They can be a bit of a pain sometimes, they try to get inside the house and eat the fruit but – hope you don't mind."

Kili shook his head, a small smile on his face.

Fili opened the front door to reveal a small living room with a fireplace and a rather horrible purple sofa in front of it. "That sofa was a cast-off of Bilbo's. I know its awful but it's really comfortable, I promise. And I'm going to get some new covers for it when I've got the time. Sorry I haven't got much furniture yet, I haven't been here that long, only about a month or so. I'm going back to Naivasha next weekend to get some more stuff. And Arnold of course. I left her there, just til everything got settled and sorted and -." Fili closed his mouth to stop him babbling.

"That's okay. It'll be kinda fun eating off crates for a while." Kili grinned. "Although, that sofa is quite ghastly."

"I agree." They regarded the sofa with distaste for a few seconds, then caught eachother's eye and began giggling.

"Come on, I want a tour," Kili demanded.

Fili showed him the little kitchen, which had a nice view over the garden in the daytime, the small toilet leading off from it, before leading him down a small corridor with another bathroom and two bedrooms with attractive wooden floorboards. Each bedroom had a mattress on the floor.

"I haven't bought beds yet," Fili admitted sheepishly, tugging on the end of his ponytail as they surveyed the room Fili was clearly sleeping in, his clothes strewn all over the floor. Fili kicked a pair of his boxers under the wardrobe before Kili could see them, wishing he'd thought to tidy up before he'd left.

"This is lovely," Kili said truthfully. He hadn't failed to notice that the mattresses in both rooms had been made. Did Fili expect him to sleep in the other room?

Fili seemed to be wondering the same thing. Neither of them spoke.

Kili, finally, crossed the room and sat on Fili's mattress. He grinned up at Fili.

"This place is great."

Fili inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. "You can stay here as long as you want."

"So, are you busy these days? Got lots of safaris?"

"Oh. Actually… I'm only working part-time for Tampani now."

"Oh?" This was something Fili hadn't divulged during their cyber conversations – Kili was surprised.

"I'm actually doing a lot more photography. I've got some exhibitions and stuff coming up. I've set one up at the Muthaiga club."

Kili nodded. He'd read about the Muthaiga Club, started during colonial times; he was frankly surprised it was still open, but it apparently was a raging business, with modern middle-class Kenyans, expats and white Kenyans making up its clientele.

"We'll have to go one night and I'll show you."

"I'd love to." Kili yawned and Fili glanced at his watch.

"When did you leave?"

"Mmm… I left my house at about midnight?"

Fili did some quick calculations in his head, working out the time difference. "You've been travelling for over twenty-four hours!"

"Nine hour stopover in Cairo… that was fun."

Fili smiled ruefully. "You flew Egypt? You're a braver man than me."

"Wasn't that bad. Just fucking boring in the airport. Have you ever spent an entire day at Cairo airport? And I didn't have an adapter, so all my stuff ran out of battery and I couldn't even charge them." Fili laughed at Kili's grumpy tone.

"You could have brought a book."

"I did, I finished it."

"What was it, Noddy in Toyland?"

"Actually, it was The Constant Gardener." He smiled. "It inspired me. I want to go to Turkana."

"I've never been," Fili admitted.

"We should go." They smiled at eachother for a long second before Kili yawned again and the tension returned.

"Have you got a spare toothbrush I could borrow please? I think I forgot mine."

Fili made a face. "You can't borrow it, you can have it – I don't want it back. I'll go find it… umm… yeah."

He went into the bathroom, handing Kili a toothbrush when he re-entered the bedroom a few minutes later. Kili saw he had already changed into some loose stripy pyjama pants and a t-shirt.

"Thanks." He took the toothbrush and went into the bathroom, where he shucked off his jeans and prepared for the night. He would normally have left his clothes and shoes in a pile on the bathroom floor, to be picked up eventually when he finally got sick of the sight of them, but he remembered he was in Fili's house as Fili's guest so he folded them up and placed them neatly at the foot of the bed.

When Fili came back from the kitchen, carrying a bottle of water in case one of them got thirsty during the night, the lights were still on but Kili had already climbed into bed and was cocooned in the covers.

"I hope you're not a sheet whore," he whispered, sliding his legs under the duvet next to him. He flicked the switch next to the bed and darkness suddenly enveloped them.

Fili blinked a few times to get used to it, then lay down, trying to get comfortable on his back. He ached to sleep on his side like he usually did, but he was electrically aware of Kili next to him which posed an obvious problem: if he faced him, Kili might think he was being pushy; if he turned his back on Kili, Kili might think him cold. Neither was ideal.

"You need curtains," Kili's voice suddenly emerged from the darkness.

"I do?"

"Yes. Those blinds are god-ugly. And they're white so they let the light in."

Fili opened his eyes, and sure enough, hovering in the blackness where the window was, there was a distinct square halo shining from the security light outside. He didn't know Kili was so sensitive about light when he was trying to sleep.

"… I can try and pin a towel over it?"

"Oh no, please don't." Kili's voice sounded guilty. "I meant… sometime. Not now."

"Okay," Fili whispered, reaching out in the vague darkness until his hand brushed Kili's. Kili raised his arm off the bed but by the time he could entwine his fingers with Fili's, Fili's hand had gone.

"Night-night," Kili whispered.

"Sleep well," Fili whispered back.