Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The text in bold belongs to J.K. Rowling.
All areas with […] are in place of actual text from the book.
Chapter 7: The Sorting Hat read Tom.
"At least we get to hear what took so long with the sorting hat", stated Neville. Harry found the ceiling very interesting and whistling very innocently.
[…]
"Definitely not" stated Snape. The rest of the room just smirked, not commentating on how funny he was and how right it was with her.
Harry suddenly blinked, "oh shit", exclaimed Harry. "That bastard obliviated me when I was talking to Professor McGonagall when I was growing up" growled out.
"What!"
"Professor McGonagall regularly came to see me when I was growing up, first in her feline form, then as a witch, we met while at the park", said Harry looking absolutely stunned that someone could be so cruel at making him loose friends like that. Harry suddenly looked at Snape, "could he be obliviating other people for his own gain?"
[…]
"Like your descriptions", smirked Sirius, then added "feels like I'm back there again", lost in memories.
[…]
"Was it like it when you first years?" asked Harry to Sirius and Remus.
"Yes" they replied. The others nodded in agreement, that they acted like that themselves.
[…]
"My first proper family", muttered Harry, sullenly. Unbeknownst to Harry, Sirius, Remus and Snape all heard him and nodded their heads in agreement at him.
[…]
"Come to think of it, her speech has changed since we were there!" stated Sirius. Lucius, Narcissica, Andromeda and Tonks all nodded agreement that it was practically the same speech as their first year.
"McGonagall actually told me that it's always easier to make the same speech to the first years", stated Remus. "Make much fairer to everyone, instead of bad-mouthing Slytherin and try to make Gryffindor look and sound good". Everyone thought that it was a fair assessment, no biased against any one house.
[…]
"Neville, how did that happen?" asked Harry.
"No idea", replied Neville.
[…]
"How many times as that come up, regarding Ron's mucky nose", asked the twins.
"I think it's the last time", replied Harry. "I can tell you, Ron finally got rid of it by Halloween. Even Professor McGonagall henpecked Ron regarding that smudge. Funny thing is, she did it at the beginning of a Transfiguration class at the beginning of October".
Neville started laughing, "one of my better memories of first year", smiling dreamily.
"More to the point, does he ever wash his face?" sneered Lucius.
The twins thought about, "No, we don't think he does, we think he's allergic to getting clean", stated the twins.
[…]
"Not going to happen", stated Neville and the twins.
"Your father was just the same", smiled Sirius, "but for him, he tried to make even messier".
"We can trade then", said Harry. "My messy hair for his messy hair".
[…]
"Professor McGonagall said quietly", said the twins, making everyone chuckle.
[…]
"Only Ron's ego just got hurt", said Harry.
[…]
Harry groaned.
"Nervous much, little Harrykins", said the twins.
[…]
"That didn't help" chorused Neville and Harry.
[…]
"What happened?" asked Sirius.
Neville and Harry just smirked, "you'll see".
"I hate that phrase, please use another one", stated Sirius, getting slightly titchy.
"No. Anyway it's more fun watching you sqirm", replied Harry cheekily.
[…]
"Ah", said Sirius, "just the usual ghost welcoming party", smiling.
"Remember what Peter did, Sirius?" asked Remus, smirking. Sirius started chuckling. Severus smirked.
"What?" asked the kids and Tonks, bouncing in the seats.
Both Remus and Sirius turned to the group and both said, "He fainted!"
"The ghosts still talk about that incident", said Remus, "I asked when I was teaching at Hogwarts".
[…]
"Peeves", chorused the pranksters, Harry and Neville.
"Still causing mischief, I see", stated Sirius.
[…]
"Nick", chorused the Gryffindors.
"Nick?" asked Draco.
"You'll find out later in this chapter, if I'm not mistaken", said Harry, smirking at the head dropping incident.
[…]
"Seamus", chorused Neville and Harry.
[…]
"It's her favourite book", said Harry shaking his head, "I swear she swallowed the entire book".
[…]
The twins suddenly had an evil glint in their eyes.
"No you will not", stated Snape. "The hat cannot be removed from Hogwarts. Got spells on it to make sure that it doesn't leave Hogwarts".
"Doesn't matter, we can make one ourselves, then", said the twins, still with their evil glint in their eyes. Snape shuddered at that comment.
[…]
"Please sing for us, Tom" asked the twins sweetly.
"No," replied Tom, "and no talking during it, either".
[…]
Fred and Snape paled. Harry just smirked. Fred looked at Harry, "I'm not even going to comment on that smirk".
"Don't know what you're talking about Fred", replied Harry mysteriously. "You just may well have seer blood in you".
[…]
"Would have been better", stated Harry.
[…]
"Everybody would have been in that house", stated Snape.
"Even you?" asked Harry with a raised eyebrow at him. Snape did the mature thing and ignored him, but there was a slight pink tinge in his cheeks. Harry smirked, he just got his own answer.
[…]
"Hufflepuff" chorused the twins. Neville blushed. Harry noticed this, but decided not to comment. Harry thought that them two will get it together at some point.
[…]
"Puff".
[…]
"Claw".
[…]
The twins started catcalling again. Harry noticed that Tom was started to get really irritated at the twins, Harry sent an incognito stinging hex at the twins to make them shut up, to which they yelped. They looked around to see who did it, they suspected who, but couldn't get no concrete evidence.
[…]
Harry put his hands before the Slytherin's could start talking, "I didn't hear anything good about you, and these are my thoughts, even though I don't put mouth before brain disease like Ron does". The Slytherins looked slightly pacified at that comment.
[…]
"Idiot", stated Harry. Those who weren't at Hogwarts for Harry's second year, raised an eyebrow at that comment. Harry noticed this, "When you read the second book, you'll understand why he is an idiot".
[…]
"It seems he's not a good Hufflepuff", mumbled Harry, thinking back to his second year.
[…]
"Don't say a word, Fred, George", stated Harry, without looking at them, their mouths were already open. The twins looked at Harry in awe.
[…]
Everybody chuckled at that. Those who saw it, where shaking their heads.
[…]
"When do you think Ron will get it on with Hermoine?" asked Harry to the twins. The twins looked horrified.
"What do you mean Harry?" asked the twins.
"You do know that them to argue like they are a married couple", stated Harry. The twins then started thinking and came to the same realisation.
"They will get it together, but it would involve some drastic action on both parts to make them see sense", sated the twins. Harry agreed with them. Snape looked horrified that Ron Weasley going out with Hermoine Granger. The children would be somewhere between Granger and Weasley.
[…]
They all looked at Harry, as if he had grew a second head. "No one in the history of Hogwarts has anyone been sent home again. You'll know if you were a squib by the time you would have had your Hogwarts letter", stated Harry, looking horrified that Harry not being at Hogwarts, which in turn made Sirius and Harry laugh at Remus face.
"Remus, I now know that I am a wizard, and I have been training as a wizard for the past four years", said Harry, placating him. "If I need anything regarding my studies, I will let you know". Remus nodded. Tonks smiled at how Harry can be able to control Remus like that. She wants to get to know Remus herself.
[…]
Lucius smacked Draco over the head, "Malfoy's don't strut".
Draco rubbed his head, "Sorry Father", looking sheepish.
[…]
Harry groaned. Here we go, thought Harry.
[…]
"Oh, god, here it comes again", mumbled Harry, rubbing his temples with his right hand.
[…]
"You could have been put into any house", stated Sirius, looking absolutely shocked at Harry.
"Sirius, I'm a descendent from the Hogwarts founders", stated Harry slowly enough for Sirius to get the information into his head. Sirius eyes went wide. "The information was on one of the parchments which Professor Snape and I brought back from Gringrotts". Sirius nodded at the news. Apart from Professor Snape and Harry, rest of the occupants were shocked at the news, as they originally didn't take in properly at the time.
[…]
Professor Snape slipped off his chair and landed on his knees looking at Harry, "you could have been in my house". Harry nodded.
"I would have been in your house if I didn't met certain people that wasn't prejudiced against or people that in your house, made me prejudiced against your house, sir", replied Harry. Snape nodded at this statement. He sat back into his chair and glared at Draco who flinched at his look.
[…]
The twins started the chant again. Harry looked at the twins, "if you two don't shut it soon, Tom will go nuclear on you, we don't want that don't we", said Harry, looking all sweet and innocent at them, while Tom looked murderous at them. The twins gulped and nodded. Snape couldn't believe his eyes, that Potter could be able to control them two just like that.
[…]
Everyone in the room shuddered at that, muttering, "I hate it when they do that".
[…]
The Malfoys (Lucius and Narcissca), Sirius and Remus looked slightly taken back, "What the…?" Apart from Andromeda and Tonks everyone who had Quirrell that year shakes their head at that bumbling twit.
Sirius noticed this, but declined to comment, Remus face paled, he knew that one of his predecessors had some trouble and that he died in the line of duty, thinking what the hell happened to him.
[…]
"Oh goodie", said Harry sarcastically.
[…]
"You really are a scrawny git, Harry", said the twins. "Wish we were scrawny like that?"
"That's because you are scrawny gits yourself", retorted Harry, "even with the amount of food we eat".
[…]
"Knowing him, he probably wants us there all year round" stated Harry. "Everyone needs a holiday from people who we are around 24/7".
Snape just looked at Harry "24/7". Harry smirked.
"It means 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, sir". Snape nods. "It's more of a muggle saying than anything else". The purebloods looked slightly shocked but understandable that particular phrase is useful for them.
[…]
What the… thought Lucius. He's started to think to get the school governors on to the case to remove Dumbledore from the position of Headmaster, thinking that we need to have a headmaster who can be able to handle themselves without going bonkers, as such, or saying words that make no sense.
[…]
Everybody chorused, "Definitely".
[…]
"I don't want to see your definition of starved Harry", said Sirius plainly, shaking his head, not wanting to think about it.
[…]
"He definitely needs to be pranked again, what do you say my dear brother of mine", asked George.
"Most certainly, my dear brother of mine", replied Fred. The others in the room couldn't figure out who's who when they said that.
[…]
"It was the most delicious food I have ever tasted, before I got to taste your mother's food", stated Harry to the twins. "Even I can't cook that good".
The twins looked at Harry, eyes bulging, "are you nuts? I know that at least a half a dozen times while you were at the Burrow, you cooked, your food actually tasted better than mum's and that is saying something", looking at Harry if he has lost his mind.
The other occupants all looked at Harry, thinking "how good is his cooking".
Suddenly a note appears:
Hi everybody
Harry will cook for you when you all read the books.
T.R.L. & G.W.
Harry groaned. The twins looked at Harry. "You heard the people in the note, you will cook", said the twins, mocking him slightly by wagging their fingers at him.
[…]
"There's your answer Draco", stated Harry.
[…]
"How can he be nearly headless?" asked Draco. Those who were there that night, or whoever knows Nick, smirked. Draco just realised what he said, and asked Tom to carry on.
[…]
The Slytherins and Tonks all went "Eww", while the Gryffindors had smirks on their faces.
"And Nick loves the attention he gets when he does that", stated Harry.
[…]
Draco looked stunned, "you noticed that".
"I notice a lot of things Draco, have you only just noticed it", replied Harry, smirking. Draco turned away, muttering under his breath.
[…]
"We did", chorused Sirius, Remus and the twins.
"Chased us around the castle for three hours", said Sirius and Remus.
"Chased us around the castle for six hours", said the twins, "come to think of it, he even chased us around Gryffindor Tower."
[…]
"Ron would have been very hungry about now", smirked the twins.
"He's got food for brains", said Harry. "I may only shared a dorm with him four years, how long have you noticed that".
"Since he kept complaining about food when he was six years old", replied the twins.
[…]
"That's not even funny", muttered Snape. "Could be dangerous", was the other words that was heard from Snape. Everyone's eyebrows went up. Thinking that if a witch or wizard was born to a muggle, it could be very dangerous for that person growing up.
[…]
Snape growled. Neville suddenly looked very scared. Snape looked at Neville, "I would be talking to your Grandmother about this".
"Join the queue professor", stated Harry. Snape looked at Harry eyebrows raised. Harry looked at Neville, if for a private conversation and Neville nodded, he then turned to Snape, "I tell you later"
[…]
"Studying is one thing, but that is just plain ridiculous", said Tom, shaking his head.
Harry looked at Tom, "if you thought this was bad, wait till we get nearer to exams, she's a bloody nightmare".
The twins and Neville agreed that she can be a nightmare, probably be another Percy in the making regarding studying.
[…]
Tom suddenly stopped reading, then looked at Snape, then back at the book, "accurate description". Rest of the room, tried to stop their laughter, every now and again, there was a snort of laughter. Snape just glared at them. "Professor, I did not write this book, it may portray my thoughts at the time, but they don't now", said Harry with a straight face at him.
Tom leaned closer to Snape and whispered in his ear, "if I were you, you should tell them to let their laughter out, because it's going to get real annoying shortly", Snape just glared at Tom, which intensified the laughter from the others, one or two of them were at that point laughing openly. Snape then looked at the others, shaking his head and he stormed off towards the bedroom he shared with Tom. The rest of them (apart from Tom and Harry), burst out laughing.
Harry then went over to Tom and sat next to him. "What are we going to do about these idiots?" whispered Harry. "Come with me Harry".
Both Tom and Harry went towards the bedroom, which caused the rest of the occupants to sober up, wondering where them two are going. "Hey Harry, where you going?" shouted Sirius, but Harry just ignored him.
They found Snape on his bed, curled up. "Severus", asked Tom. No answer from Severus.
Harry went closer, "Professor", Snape just looked at Harry, "we may not like each other, but those idiots outside, have no idea what it truly feels like to be laughed at, I may look like my father, but I will be no bully, I've had enough of Dudley bullying me growing up, but I do respect you". Snape nodded.
"Professor, these clothes I wear, they are Dudley's cast offs. This t-shirt, it was Dudley's four years ago", Snape's and Tom's eyes went wide, "he grows out several inches a year".
"Severus, I had a horrible childhood, and I can see pain in your eyes, along with Harry here", said Tom, Snape nodded, "but if we can work together when we walk out there together, we can prank them good about laughing at you. Make them think that we did something that make them think".
"Draco, Neville and the twins, will definitely think that I've been up to something", stated Harry.
"Why's that?" sneered Snape.
"I'm gay!" said Harry plainly speaking. Both occupants just dropped their jaws to the floor. "If I play it right, they will think that we might have done something".
When Harry emerged first, the twins looked at Harry and saw him smirk, they suddenly exclaimed "you didn't". When Neville and Draco saw this smirk, "I think he did". The rest of the adults in the room looked on in total confusion, but when Tom and Severus came out behind him with the exact same smirk, the kids started muttering, "oh shit, they did".
When they all sat down again, Severus asked Tom, "Can we carry on reading?"
[…]
"It wasn't you professor", said Harry, looking at Snape, then did a quick look at Tom, then back again. Snape nodded.
[…]
Snape eyebrows went up, "I only wanted to know who you were sir", stated Harry, with a small smile, which got all the other residents of the room looking slightly perplexed at the scenario played out.
[…]
"I think Percy likes you sir", said Harry deadpanned. Snape spluttered, the twins looked like they were kicked in the stomach at that revelation, before Harry started laughing at their reactions, with the rest of the group joining in.
[…]
"I couldn't because of your mother's eyes", muttered Snape.
[…]
"That also includes me now", said Harry, sighing happily, "and it's all been unintentional as well".
[…]
"Except for Potter", muttered Draco.
Neville looked at Draco shaking his head, at least he knew that Harry got on the team on talent.
[…]
"He's not serious, I am", stated Sirius. Harry smacked him on the head, "Sirius, Dumbledork was perfectly serious regarding the third floor corridor".
[…]
"Not necessarily so", stated Snape. The twins, Neville and Harry burst out laughing, thinking how many times Percy tried to enforce the rules, when he can't.
[…]
"Oh Merlin, do we have to", whined Snape. The twins, Neville and Harry have started to like this Snape, he is so much fun to be with.
[…]
"We keep changing it every year", stated the twins happily, "keeps it more interesting".
[…]
"What are we, horses?" snorted Neville.
"Yeah, that the second time he mentioned horse related things", said Draco.
[…]
A few of the adults sat up slightly straight.
[…]
They all went back down again.
[…]
"Percy, you going about it all wrong", stated the twins, "you should never pull the Bloody Baron card so early, you need to bargain with Peeves to let you pass", as if they were talking book Percy as a five year old.
[…]
"Empty threat!" stated the twins.
[…]
"Ouch, that hurt", said Neville, absently-minded rubbing his head.
[…]
"Sounds similar to my dorms" said Tonks and Draco at the same time. They both looked at each other, with a small smile, "but with minor differences", said Tonks carrying on. Draco nodded.
[…]
"He was always chewing sheets", muttered Harry.
"Even as a rat", muttered Sirius and Remus.
[…]
The twins and Neville smirked at Harry. "If you want to make little Harry very, very happy, all you need is bucket loads of treacle tarts", then looked at Sirius and Remus, which they both understood as one of Harry's favourite foods.
"Your mother loved treacle tart", said Snape absent minded.
[…]
"Think I should be a seer", stated Harry, plainly. "Pity I can't remember it".
"At least you did better than that old fraud", stated Neville.
"What fraud?" asked Tonks.
There was a chorus of "Trelawney" around the room.
[…]
"Ah, that explains it", said Harry.
A/N: Just to let you know, even though Snape and the rest of the group broke through all the potions, spells and blocks on Harry, they are still working through his system, and it should take a few days for all of them to be completely out of his system. It took a lot of power just to get through the oblitervates, you just don't know when the memories will pop up.
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