I recently discovered that this story is going to be ending soon, because there's only three more chapters after this. I'm actually excited about it, because this will be the first story that I'll actually finish.

By the way, the title of this chapter was the song that inspired the story's name, but I'm not sure exactly how that happened.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach. Chapter title belongs to Three Days Grace

My Own Worst Nightmare

By Kouzumi93

Chapter 9: Animal I Have Become

I paced in front of my house, trying to work up the courage to go inside. I had to get some things from my room before heading back to Hinamori's, but I couldn't go in. Not with what had happened the last time I was in there.

Matsumoto had picked up Hinamori and myself at the hospital and dropped us off at Hinamori's mansion, but I had left just as quickly to return home for my clothing.

That had been over an hour earlier.

I stopped pacing and sat down on the bottom step, letting out a deep sigh. The short trip was taking much longer than expected, and was looking to take all night long at the rate I was going.

I felt like a fool, sitting on my own front steps, too afraid to go inside. Puzzled greatly about what was going on.

After a while, I heard footsteps in the distance, growing louder with each step. I looked up and around, but it was in vain. It was dark and foggy, to the point that I could barely see across the street without a struggle. Eventually, a figure manifested under a streetlamp.

Hinamori.

When she saw me, her pace quickened so she was almost running, and then she stopped right in front of the stairs and me.

"Hitsugaya-kun, what are you doing? I thought you were going to get some clothes?"

"I know. But I can't go in." I looked at my shoes, slightly embarrassed.

She sat down next to me, apparently concerned. "I guess that's to be expected. Do you want me to get some things together for you?"

"I can't make you do that."

"You're not making me if I do it of my own volition."

"Yeah, well."

"Alright, why don't I just go in with you? That should be alright, shouldn't it?"

I stole a glance at her, contemplating any other options I had. There were none. "I suppose that would be fine. But are you sure you don't mind?"

"Of course. Let's go in before someone starts to suspect something." She stood up, and I repeated the action after a moment of hesitation.

I pushed the front door open and we stepped into my kitchen. I didn't touch the lights, only found the stairs and began climbing, Hinamori trailing along behind me. When we reached my room, I faltered as I reached for the handle. My fingers twitched, but I pressed on and opened the door. My room looked just as I had left it nearly three weeks earlier, only a bit dustier. I opened up my closet door and dug out a suitcase, tossing it onto my bed. I then opened the top drawer of my dresser, but I didn't take anything out.

It seemed so surreal to be at home, packing my bags for a permanent leave. This wasn't just another one of my stays away from home for a while. No, it finally dawned on me that this would probably be the last time I would enter the house for a long time to come.

Music suddenly began playing, and I jumped in surprise.

"Ah, sorry, that's my phone." Hinamori said as she fished the small device from her pocket and looked at it. "It's Rangiku-san." She stepped out of my doorway. "I have to go outside, because it seems that I don't get service in your house. I'll be right back."

I nodded, and a bit later, I heard the front door open and close. I looked back to my dresser, and resolved to just grab some random clothes and possibly come back another time for more, if I needed anything else. My parents had bought the house, so I supposed that it belonged to me now, along with probably everything in the house. But I can't say I'm the most knowledgeable person when it comes to legal matters.

When I had nearly filled my suitcase, I stepped over to a table next to my bed and carefully lifted the picture of my sister. I closed my eyes as I held it, coming to the realization that I could no longer hear her voice, much less her laugh that used to comfort me in what is now the distant past.

I added the frame to my suitcase, delicately tucking it between a few shirts. Zipping the pack shut, I yanked it off the bed and went out into the hallway, suddenly realizing that Hinamori hadn't come back yet from her phone call with Matsumoto. I hesitated at the top of the stairs, but shook my head and descended the stairs, lugging the large bag along with me.

At the bottom, I faltered yet again. As much as I wanted to get out of that suffocating house, I wasn't sure I could just leave so easily. There was a nagging feeling in the back of my head that told me that I would never be back there again.

Before I knew what I was doing, I found my feet directing me to the living room. By the time I became aware of it, I was standing in the roped off doorway, staring wearily at the damage. The white carpet was still stained red in a number of places, and I was sure it would have to be replaced sooner rather than later.

I slipped under the tape and stood on the other side, trying to focus on the floor closest to me, one of the places that the carpet remained white. It was dully noted that the ceiling fan was gone, and the pungent smell of disinfectant stung my eyes and clogged my throat, damn near suffocating me. I began to feel lightheaded, and distorted images flashed across my mind. The bloodied images of my sister, mother, and father were meshed together as one terrifying picture, but what disturbed me the most was that I kept seeing Aizen standing there in the Study with that blood soaked sword.

I hadn't told anyone about that yet, since I couldn't be sure that anyone would believe me. Hinamori especially.

I sank down along the wall to the floor and tightly shut my eyes. I put all my efforts into calming down and clearing my head, not easily succeeding.

I thought only a moment had gone by, but I suddenly felt a presence in the room. I scrambled to my feet, only to be greeted by a surprisingly large pair of assets. They pushed me back and I hit my head on the wall behind me, falling back to the floor.

"I knew you'd be here, Toushiro." A familiar voice spoke. I looked up to see a face I should have expected.

"Matsumoto, what are you doing here?"

"Hinamori-chan called me just after we got off the phone and said that she couldn't find you. She didn't look in here, but I guess she didn't think you'd be back here so soon." She sighed deeply and took a look around. "This room looks terrible."

"Uh huh."

She glanced down at me. "How are you doing?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and rested my chin on them. Quietly, I spoke. "I still can't believe they're gone."

A slight movement and Matsumoto was sitting next to me. "What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. I'm not sure of anything I can do." I replied, avoiding her eyes. I actually could think of one thing, but I wasn't planning on revealing it to anyone yet.

"Well, why don't you start by getting out of this house?"

I let out a chuckle. "That's always an option, I suppose."

Matsumoto stood up and extended a hand toward me. "Come on, Toushiro. Hinamori-chan is outside waiting for us."

I took a hold of that hand and allowed myself to be pulled to my feet. I grabbed the suitcase that stood along the wall where I left it, and we departed. Halfway down the hall, I paused in my movements. "Matsumoto?"

"What is it?"

"...Thank you."

"You're welcome, Toushiro." I could hear the smile in her voice, but I didn't turn around. Instead, I continued on through my vacant kitchen and out the front door, finding Hinamori standing at the bottom of the steps, just as Matsumoto had said.

"Ah, Hitsugaya-kun! You were in the living room after all."

"Uh huh." I went down the stairs, lugging the suitcase along. "Let's get going. It's already dark."

"Yeah." Hinamori and I stepped away from my house, while Matsumoto began in the opposite direction.

"See you two!" She called. "I've got to go pick something up for my grandmother."

"Alright! See you later, Rangiku-san!"

With that, we parted ways and Hinamori and I walked in temporary silence, both lost in our own thoughts. Then, out of nowhere, Hinamori began to babble.

"School has been pretty hectic while you were gone. I missed a few days myself, but since we're currently doing really easy stuff in almost every class, you'll probably be able to catch up quickly. When you go back, of course. With what happened, you're probably not the most eager to get back." Her expression had saddened by the time she finished speaking. "I'm sorry about your parents." She added as an afterthought.

"Don't be. There's nothing you could have done to prevent it."

"I'm sure there was something I could had done to help."

Instead of replying, I merely shrugged my shoulders, and Hinamori went back to talking.

"When we get back to my place, I have to try to call Aizen-dono again. I haven't been able to reach him for the past few days, and I'm getting a little worried." I narrowed my eyes at the mention of that man's name, but said nothing. "Aizen-dono was extremely helpful while you were in the hospital. He took me to see you almost every day, and even went along to your parents' funeral. If it weren't for him—"

"My parents would still be alive." I finished for her.

"...What? What are you talking about?" Hinamori looked shocked.

"I'm saying that Aizen is the one responsible for killing my parents and almost taking me out, as well."

"That can't be! Aizen-dono would never hurt anyone, much less mutilate two people beyond recognition!"

"I know what I saw, Hinamori!" My hands twisted into fists, my body shaking in remembrance of the event. "There's no way it could have been anyone else."

"But why would Aizen-dono kill your parents?" We had stopped walking by this point and stood face to face.

"I don't know, but—"

"See? If you can't think of why he would have done it, then he couldn't have!"

"That's not even logical! All I have to do is find a reason."

"There is no reason, because he didn't do it!"

My jaw clenched, and I knew I was losing my patience faster than I cared to. "Hinamori, just drop it. I'm not going to keep arguing with you over something I know damn well to be true."

She opened her mouth as if to say something, but then closed it and dropped her head. The rest of our walk was filled with a thick, tense silence that couldn't have been cut with a machete.

Back at Hinamori's mansion, I returned to the room I had stayed in for such a long while and set the oversized suitcase in front of the dresser. I thought about unpacking it, but opted instead to just open it and take out some things to make the room feel like mine.

Most notably, was the photo frame of my sister, which was placed on the bedside table. Similar to how it had been back at home.

I was still fuming from my fight with Hinamori, and a lack of appetite left me with nothing to do. I lay back on the bed, cautious of my injury, yet my mind went blank all the same. I was glad for that, because I didn't have to think, to remember. I must have fallen asleep or spaced out, because the next thing I knew, the clock read 3.08. I blinked a few times and sat up, noting that the room was just as dark as I'd left it.

I was calmed down at this time, and still not tired. I mentally ran through a short list of things I could've been doing, finally deciding to take a shower. I got up, opened the suitcase to dig out something to wear, and then snuck out into the hallway. I was used to Hinamori's house being quiet, but even then there was usually some kind of background noise to be heard. At the moment, there was an absolute stillness about the place that triggered a recent memory.

My own house had been just as silent that night I'd gone back home, and my knees suddenly felt weak as I relived the evening. Rationality disappeared, panic taking its place, and I mindlessly darted through the hall toward Hinamori's room, needing to confirm for myself that she was alright. I didn't take into consideration that it was three in the morning. It didn't even dawn on me that she was probably sleeping.

I flung her door open with a bang, quickly slipping the light switch into the 'on' position. Hinamori yelled and fell from her bed, clearly startled. Seeing her moving on her own made me feel better, since I could see that she was just fine. My self-awareness flooded back to me, and I realized what I just did.

"H-Hitsugaya-kun? What are you doing?" She stammered, picking herself up off the floor.

"I'm sorry. It was really quiet, and I guess I panicked."

She turned to look at the clock. "It's three-thirty in the morning. How loud do you expect it to be?"

"I know, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking." I started to back out of the room. "You can go back to sleep, now."

"No, I'm already up. My heart is racing, so I don't think I could sleep even if I wanted to." She tossed her blankets back onto the bed, then stretched. "Why'd you freak out so badly?" She asked, stepping over to where I stood.

"I...My house was just as quiet that night as it is now, and I had to make sure you were alright."

Hinamori reached out her arms and pulled me into an embrace, being extra careful not to irritate the sword wound on my torso. "I'm fine, Hitsugaya-kun. I have been and I will remain to be, for nothing is going to happen to me. Nothing more will happen to you, either, so relax. It's so hard to see you like this, because I know there's not much I can do to help you."

"No, you're helping more than you think." She smiles, and I resist the urge to kiss her. "But you really should be getting back to bed now."

"Are you going to sleep soon, too?"

"I was sleeping not long ago, so I'm going to take a shower, then I'll probably sleep a bit more."

"A shower in the middle of the night?"

"Why not? It's not going to hurt anyone." Hinamori laughed while removing her hands from my waist. "Good night, Hinamori." I began to leave again, actually much more tired than I let on.

"Wait, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Hmm?" I turned back to her, but when my eyes met hers, she looked down at the floor.

"I...I know we don't agree about the role Aizen-dono played in the...death of your parents, but I wonder if this could be sorted out by talking to him."

"You can't be suggesting that he come over here?"

"No, not really. I know where he lives, though, so we can just go over there and have a talk."

"I personally would prefer a more...public environment."

"Why?"

"Aizen wouldn't dare to do anything where other people would see. Now that I think about it, his place would be better." Her silence prompted me to explain. "He won't confess to a murder if there's a group of anonymous people around. If one of them was a cop, he'd be screwed. But I want him to confess, so a private building would be better for that."

Hinamori remained quiet for a while longer, seemingly regretting that she had said anything. Finally, she spoke. "Alright, I'll call Rangiku-san in the morning and see if she would like to accompany us, and we'll go in the afternoon."

I couldn't help raising an eyebrow. "I'm assuming that this has already been approved with him?"

"Actually, no. He's been out of reach for the past few days."

She looked upset, and then it was my turn to keep my mouth shut, only because I didn't want to get into an 'I told you so' argument at such a ridiculous time of day. Honestly, I didn't want to have to argue with Hinamori at all, but some things just can't be helped. "I'm going to go take that shower now." I replied instead.

"Yeah, of course. Good night, Hitsugaya-kun." She closed the door to her room, and I moved back across the house to reach the bathroom, my initial destination.

It was a very painful shower. Removing the bandages was a hassle, and the hot water running over the gash very nearly brought me to tears. The pain numbed my right arm again, so getting out of the shower and dressing myself was another challenge. I ditched the bandages I was supposed to keep on (except for in the shower, of course), simply because there was no way in hell I would be able to wrap them back around my chest successfully.

By the time I arrived back in my room, the sky outside was getting lighter, and an observant glance at the clock told me that it was just after four thirty. A wave of exhaustion swept over me, and I curled up on the bed, falling asleep only moments after my head hit the pillow.

The sunlight awoke me a while later, and I sat up groggily. It took me a few minutes to remember the night's events, and I felt like an idiot for reacting so stupidly over something so trivial as silence. Cursing myself, I got out of bed and wandered from my room into the hallway. Without too much thought behind the action, I went downstairs to the dining room and found Hinamori and Matsumoto having breakfast.

"Good morning, Hitsugaya-kun."

"Good morning, Toushiro."

"'Morning." I sat down across from Matsumoto, not asking for any food when one of the maids asked.

"Aren't you hungry?" Hinamori asked.

"No, not really." I propped my elbows on the edge of the table and closed my eyes a bit.

"You should eat. You'll stop growing if you don't eat properly, you know." Matsumoto explained.

"Don't lecture me about my height!"

"You're right. It's not you're fault you're short."

"I'm not short, I'm vertically challenged." I crossed my arms and looked past her to see out the windows.

"You could be fun-sized, too." Hinamori suggested. Matsumoto started to laugh, and Hinamori joined in.

"That...that's not even funny!"

"It was, actually." Matsumoto managed to say between chuckles.

"Hmph."

There was a lull in the conversation, but Hinamori finally brought up the topic that had been on my mind all morning. "Rangiku-san, do you want to go somewhere with Hitsugaya-kun and I later this afternoon?"

Matsumoto's head tilted to the side. "Depends. Where are you going?"

Hinamori looked at me briefly before replying. "We're heading over to Aizen-dono's place to do a bit of investigating."

"What do you need to investigate there?" She looked curious, but it quickly changed to a devious expression as she turned to me. "Does this have something to do with a certain bet that you're losing?"

"Matsumoto, I've hardly thought about that bet since we made it."

"Hitsugaya-kun thinks that Aizen-dono did it."

"Did what?"

I stood up. "Killed my parents. And I don't think he did it. I know he did it."

"We're not getting into this again. Until it can be proved, I'm not going to believe you." Hinamori rose as well, and two maids rushed over to clear away her plates.

"You know, this is about how our bet started." Matsumoto continued to sit, seemingly enjoying the 'discussion.'

"Fuck the bet, Matsumoto. I don't have time to play some stupid little game." Feeling my temper rise, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. When I opened them, I tried to remain calm and composed. "So, are you coming with us or not?"

She stayed quiet for a time, apparently thinking about it. Then she grinned and finally jumped up from her seat. "Of course I'll join you! There's no way I'll be left behind on such an intriguing adventure."

I nodded and looked over to Hinamori. "We're leaving this afternoon, correct?"

"That's the plan."

"Alright, then we'll disband until about one o'clock." I stated, starting to leave the room. "I'm going to go get ready."

"But Hitsugaya-kun, it's only nine o'clock."

"Yeah, I know. But twiddling my thumbs is an important part of the thinking process."

"You could hang out with us, too." Judging by the sound of her voice getting louder and footsteps closing in, I concluded that Matsumoto was right behind me.

"NO, thank you."

"Aww, why not?"

I turned slightly, glancing at her by way of peripheral vision. "You shouldn't even have to ask." With that, I returned to my room.

I don't recall doing much after that, except changing my clothes and actually sitting there and twiddling my thumbs. I don't suppose I slept, but I don't remember. All I know is that Hinamori and Matsumoto showed up at my door just after twelve thirty, and the three of us went back down to the dining room for a quick, light lunch.

The table was deathly silent. Hinamori poked at her food, while Matsumoto found her own food to be quite interesting. I couldn't wait to leave, although I was rather lacking in a plan for our encounter with the murderer. I wondered if I would just end up playing it by ear when the time came.

My worrying about that was useless, I soon found out. Aizen lived on the other side of town, just a few blocks east of the high school, which would give me plenty of time to work something out in my head.

We must have left soon after lunch, because the next thing that comes to mind is the three of us wandering through the streets. This was a continuation of our mutual silence, which I was grateful for. Now I just had to figure out a course of action before we reached our destination, or else I really would be reduced to the improvisation method.

I can't just walk up to him and accuse him, but mindless chit-chat leading up to it would be annoying. Plus, I have to take into consideration that Hinamori and Matsumoto are with. Perhaps I can ditch them somewhere? I stole glances at the females walking in front of me, then shook my head. Out of the question. They'd catch on quickly, and I still don't know the actual address of Aizen's house. I suppose they've already predicted my actions.

"What are you thinking about?" A soft voice belonging to Hinamori drew me out of my thoughts.

"Hmm?"

"You look like you're lost deep in thought."

"Oh, I guess I am." I smirked, an expression rather inappropriate, considering the situation.

"Hitsugaya-kun..." She looked at me with a countenance I couldn't quite place. "Don't do anything stupid when we get there. Revenge only begets revenge, you know."

"I'll try to keep that in mind."

"Don't attack him, please."

"If he so much as looks at you or Matsumoto in the wrong way, I can't promise anything."

"Ah, that's—" Hinamori's face became a light shade of pink as she looked down at her shoes. "That's very noble of you, Hitsugaya-kun."

"What else would I do? It's not like I could just sit idle in such a situation."

"Let's just hope it doesn't come to that." Matsumoto interjected.

"Yeah, well that bastard is still in for it as soon as I can prove that he did it."

"Toushiro, haven't you ever considered telling the police and letting them handle this?"

"They wouldn't believe me, and the only punishment he would get would be jail-time or something. It's better to take things into my own hands."

Matsumoto and I argued for a block and a half, when Hinamori finally got sick of it. "I think I liked the silence better, you two." She sighed, and we did indeed resume our speechless expedition.

A block away from Aizen's, and I still had nothing. A part of me wanted to just give it up and go back home, but another side insisted that I continue on and go with my gut for the confrontation with Aizen. A third side urged me to go on, yet it hoped that Aizen would just not be there and I wouldn't have to see him. The three were completely at odds with one another, and I desired to crawl under a rock and let them duke it out to decide a winner.

Just as quickly as that thought came to me, it was gone. The reason: we reached our destination. Before me stood the home of the man who killed my parents.

It was a red, two story brick building with white windows. A small balcony overhung the front door, and two white, Roman-style pillars supported it from below. The house was decently sized, though maybe a bit too big for just one man to inhabit. Everything was still and quiet, just like—

I shook the image out of my head.

"Hitsugaya-kun, are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm just peachy."

"It doesn't look like anyone's home." Observed Matsumoto, pointing at the empty parking spot out front.

"There's really only one way to find out for sure." I approached the door and reached for the handle.

Hinamori ran up and pulled my hand back. "You can't just go in!"

"How else are we going to find out if he's here?"

"Why don't you try knocking?"

"Nah. Too much effort." I turned the handle and pushed it in, surprised that it actually opened for me.

"This is considered breaking and entering, Hitsugaya-kun. We could get in serious trouble for this."

"We're not breaking and entering if we go through the unlocked front door. It's not like we smashed a window or something." I stepped inside, and the other two followed shortly after.

"I can't believe we're doing this."

"We're not doing anything bad. We only came to find and k—talk to Aizen."

Hinamori glared at me, but I pretended not to notice as I looked around the room. It was a small entryway, decorated only by two statues, a coat rack and a fancy rug. Three archways and a door provided exits, so we started with the door and made our way through the rest of the house.

There was a half-bath, a huge library and study, a moderate living room, an elegant dining room, as well as a large kitchen on the first floor. The second floor contained two full bathrooms, a master bedroom, two guest rooms, an exercise room, along with a spiral staircase that went up into the attic.

We looked everywhere, but there was no sign of Aizen anywhere. There wasn't even evidence of his presence in the building recently. That said, I was ready to throw in the towel and go home.

But that's when we heard it. A mysterious noise started to sound over our heads, and we all looked up and then at each other. I started up the stairs, Hinamori and Matsumoto right behind me.

I had to find out what was making that 'quacking' sound!

Upon reaching the top stair and facing the source, I wished I hadn't been so curious.

There, in the middle of the room stood a man who looked to still be in his teens. His hair was silver, and his eyes were slit shut. He wore a fuzzy yellow robe over a t-shirt and jeans, but the most disturbing part about him was his choice of footwear.

Yellow duck slippers that, if he walked, would quack with each step.

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

"Ara, how'd ya git in 'ere?" He tilted his head to the side.

"The front door. Now answer my question: who are you?"

"I'm Ichimaru Gin."

Ooh, what's going to happen now?

Two things about this chapter were planned far in advance: 1.) Ichimaru would introduce himself and the chapter would end, and 2.) that Ichimaru would have duck slippers and a fuzzy yellow robe. (The second one was Puddinmasta's idea. Much of the randomness involving pudding and/or ducks is usually her fault. Or mine, 'cause her way of thinking has begun to wear off on me.)

Anyway, I would very much appreciate any reviews and/or suggestions for improvement. Suggestions are always well-considered, and both are much appreciated and motivating.

Thanks in advance~!