Heyyyy, look who's late. Me, sorry? To be fair this chapter was not only a bitch to write but I've been bombarded with tests by school so please stay patient as I try to get live back under control. At any rate though... Please Enjoy!

I couldn't understand it, why did Oikawa care? Why did he care that I didn't trust him?

"Tobio-chan, is there any way I can make you trust me again?" He asked.

Me? Trust him? I wasn't sure such a thing was even possible. The two of us were just completely different people. Incompatible. Just thinking about spending more time with him set a shiver down my spine.

"I'm not sure…" I murmured, not intending for Oikawa to overhear me.

He heard me anyway. "Really?"

His voice had an almost empty feel to it, as if it was broken with sadness. Again, why?

I didn't get it. Not at all.

The only way I could realistically figure that out was to ask him. Ask a question. To Oikawa.

Ahahahahahaha, no. No way in hell. Thank you, thought, but please never come again.

Still though, there was no reason for Oikawa to be upset that I didn't trust him.

There weren't many things I got curious about, curious enough to pursue answers, but this was one of those things.

I wanted to know why my mistrust mattered so much to him. Was it because then he could stab me in the back at the first chance he got?

That was a possibility I couldn't deny. Yet it was one that I didn't want to believe. In fact, I wanted to believe that Oikawa wouldn't do anything to hurt me, like Iwaizumi said. The voices in my mind disagreed though, reminding me of how he had cornered me not an hour ago.

To keep things short, my mind was all over the place. Logic and hope were trying to tell me that, since I had determined I could trust him, believing Iwaizumi was a good plan.

The other voices, my self-doubt and paranoia, told me that trusting anyone was a bad idea. Though I tended to trust those voices the least.

There was a way to determine how much I could trust Oikawa. And it involved opening my bedroom door. Being face to face with him would allow me to observe his facial expressions. Which, in turn, would give me a better idea of what he was thinking.

So, taking a deep breath to steel myself, I unlocked the door and opened it. Instantly Oikawa's eyes met mine.

He was surprised, not that I could blame him. I had literally said I didn't want to open the door earlier. Yet I did it anyway. It was my way of trying to deal with my disorder.

Besides, I'd have to face him sooner or later.

"...I didn't think you'd open the door." Oikawa finally said.

"Me either." I admitted. "But talking like this is easier."

"True."

Silence fell over us. Not a comfortable one either.

Instinctively I began fiddling with my hands. What else was I supposed to do?

"Tobio-chan, I've got one more question."

Oikawa's voice shot me out of my thoughts and, for once, I was grateful he did. I knew my own thoughts well, they'd been going down the rabbit hole.

Swallowing thickly I looked him in the eye. "What is it?"

"What did I do to make you fear me?"

The million dollar question. One that I couldn't answer. Not because I was afraid, but because I really couldn't. Oikawa hadn't given Kageyama a reason to be afraid of him. Not Kageyama, the canon one. My fears for Oikawa were mine alone.

So how was I supposed to answer him?

Answer, I couldn't. Not really.

"Because," My mouth opened to speak anyway, "because I've seen you."

Well that sounded cryptic and stalkerish. Great job.

"What do you mean?" Oikawa asked, an eyebrow raised in confusion.

Briefly I hesitated before answering him. "I've seen you, the real you."

That made Oikawa freeze. The knowledge that I had seen the real him. Yeah, I was well aware of how much he hid underneath his mask of happiness. The real Oikawa had already shown himself to me a few times as well. After the practice match and a bit

"O-Oh," This time it was Oikawa who stuttered, not a sound I had expected to come from him, "you have?"

I nodded.

"Are you sure? I mean, why would I hide who I am? That makes no sense." Oikawa's voice had sped up.

He swallowed thickly and continued blabbering. "And even then, my real self? How could you see that? I'm not fake. I'm not fake, I'm not. I'm not!"

Wait, was that what I think it was? Was Oikawa panicking? That was not something I had expected by any means. Did he get panic attacks too? Now that was new.

Nevertheless, I knew exactly what it was like to get an attack like that. Meaning that I also knew how to calm him down. Well, I kinda had to calm him down. Seeing as I was the only other human being around.

"Oikawa-san," I began to see if I could get his attention, "can you hear me?"

He nodded. His eyes wide as can be and shaking. Yeah, Oikawa was definitely having a panic attack.

Okay, I knew how to do this. I did.

"Do you know how to deal?" I asked softly, taking care not to touch Oikawa.

This time he shook his head. Which likely meant that he didn't get attacks often. Or it was his first in a long time.

"Okay," I took a deep breath, "breath in for seven seconds."

Oikawa attempted to follow my directions but found that he choked on the air. Making him continue panicking.

It was fortunate that I knew what to do, otherwise I probably would've joined him in his panic.

"Try to copy me okay?" If long deep breaths were too much for him, then I'd start with slightly shorter breaths.

Letting silence fall over us I took a breath in. Making sure that it was audible enough for him to hear.

Oikawa copied me successfully and I breathed out. He did the same.

We repeated this simple exercise for a few minutes, during which I made the time between breathing in and out longer and longer. It helped him calm down.

But you know, this was not what I had expected to happen. Pretty sure I've said that before… it still counted though.

It took about half an hour before Oikawa fully calmed down and another hour before he was willing to talk.

"Do you have these?" Oikawa whispered. "Do you have these often?"

I looked down at him, a sadness filling my chest. "Yes."

"How do you do it?" Oikawa asked, looking me in the eyes. "How do you go about and pretend you're okay?"