alright guys, im writing while im half asleep just for you but i am so proud. And for the first time in like ever i said "i love people" just because you all you guys

Clarys Pov

I run outside away from the diner, I knew I shouldn't have left Jace there I know it just I couldn't help it. What she said kept playing over and over in my mind.

You just sit im your apartment watching Jace wishing he could like someone like you" she was right though. Jace wouldn't like me let alone love me, im a short flat chested girl with a temper and frizzy red hair. Jace is a god, a golden Greek god. With his flawless sun kissed skin, his soft halo of gold hair, and his beautiful eyes that were so deep you could search for days in then. Yet somehow his eyes showed everything. The way the darkened after an attack, how the lit up with his sister, and even how the churned with... Something when I got hurt. He could never love me, i was too under average for him. And he shouldn't he deserves someone who wouldnt be question why when they walked side by side. And that would never be me.

suddenly a scream shook me from my thoughts.

A scream I know too well, Jaces. I run back through the crowd, I hadn't realized he had followed me but luckily he wasn't far behind me. He was presses up against a random building, knees to chest, eyes shut wide, and hands pulling hair. Kaelie was next to him, screaming her ass off at Jace to "wake up and stand up".

I pushed her to the side "Kaelie shut the hell up, screaming makes it worse. You just need to go," she glared at me with such a look that it hurt even my face. "Kaelie LEAVE, Jace needs to go home. You will not escort him he needs a person who knows whats happening, not some bitch with too much make up" This finally made her storm away and I turned my attention back to Jace.

"Jace its me Clary, come on you need to get up and we can walk home". I touched his hands gently and moved them from pulling his hair. Next I lifted his head so was looking into my eyes, his eyes dark and far away focused on me and soon he was just looking at me, both his hands on mine.

Slowly, and still holding his hands we stood up. Jace held his head down almost in shame as we walked, he looked like a child who had just been scolded. His head was low and shoulders slouched. Yet he never let go of my hand.

As we walked into our apartment Jace let go of my hand and went over to the couch. He buried his head in his hands and put his elbows on his knees. I slowly walked over to him and say next to him, I rubbed small circles in his back until he finally spoke.

"Clary I am so sorry, I thought I could do it. Walking there, I had almost made it, we were so close but I itched to take your hand, to have A tether to this world. But my pride, I had to be able to walk on my own, I couldn't even walk. Then when you ran out, I had to follow you Clary, and I almost made it, but then I realized my one tether to sanity was gone. I could hear Kaelie screaming but I couldn't hold on, she wasn't someone I wanted to come back to."

He looked so sad. "Jace its ok its my fault, I never should have ran and left you. It wasn't right, you are my responsibility I should be helping you not forcing you to chase me because some girl called me ugly. Look Jace I promise I will never never let you down like that again. Just why dont you sleep, I'll be right out here"

Jace just later down on the couch and put his legs in my lap like we always sit. "Clary can I just sleep here, with you" I looked at him sadly "No Jace, come on I'll take you to your room."

I took his hand and pulled him on to his feet. In his room I could tell he was half asleep because he didn't even pull the sheets up and didnt notice when i did. "Alright Jace I'm going to be out on the couch incase you need something. I put my hand on the doorknob when I heard a voice. "Wait Clary I need something" i turned to him. "Clary I need you, please stay" His voice was so sad, I had to do something. "Alright jace Just go to bed I will be right here next to you. As soon a I sat down the phone started ringing. "Im sorry Jace Ill be right back" he mumbled a response as I left.

As soon as I picked up the phone I heard the voice of a frantic Izzy. "Oh mu god Clary i heard what happened, I'm soooooo sorry that i have Kaelie your address I thought she had changed since high school. Is Jace ok, please tell me he is." I sighed "Izzy shhhh, yes Jace is fine he in bed right now and asleep. Its not your fault, I understand you want your brother to be happy. Hey Izzy I have to go Ill call you tomorrow, yeah Jace is asleep."

I sighed and set the phone down. When I walked back to Jace's room, when I opened up the door Jace was fast asleep. I didnt want to wake him so I went to the couch, somehow I felt disappointed but I knew Jace needed to sleep.

Jace's POV

As I laid in bed I though of what Clary said.

I was only a responsibility, not someone she chooses to be with. I was just her latest project for work. She would never be with me out of choice. She deserves someone who is just as strong brave and beautiful as her. I am scarred inside and out, my mind was scarred, nothing could change that. My body was scarred too, something that reflects just how broken I am on the inside. She deserves someone she could be proud to walk down the street with, not someone like me.