Author's Note: This takes place during Junior and senior year, and deals with Puck and Quinn both dealing with their emotions regarding giving up Beth. It also deals with Quinn regaining her former status as Queen Bee.
Chapter 9: Life without You
September 2010:
Didn't wanna say goodbye, didn't wanna see you cry. Look what I've done
He hadn't wanted to break up. Hell, he had told her he loved her. He didn't just say that to everyone. But she needed to "regain what she had lost", in her words. "Regain what you've lost, Quinn? What the Hell does that even mean?" he had snapped at her. "I'm sorry, Puck. But I need to lose this baby weight, get back on the Cheerios, maybe find someone…" "Someone what? Someone better than me?" Quinn shakes her head. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. I just think I need to be alone for awhile. I need to know how it feels to be wanted again. We'll both be happier apart, you have to see that." And just like that, it was over. There had been so much he still wanted to say, but it never seemed to be the right time, and he could never find the right words.
She regained her Captain spot on the Cheerios, stolen right out from under Santana. That hadn't gone over well. There had been quite a few catfights before the two buried the hatchet once and for all.
Puck returned to his old ways, sleeping with a different girl most nights. The freshman class was way too easy this year. A rumor spread that he had gotten a vasectomy over the summer, and he let people believe what they wanted to. They would anyway, regardless of what he said. However, he kicked Jacob Ben Israel's ass for suggesting he was suffering from a "crippling depression" because he wasn't over Quinn. He didn't need that shit getting around school.
All I want is for someone to tell me I'm crazy, it just might save me
She missed her sometimes, though she'd never admit it to anyone, especially not Puck. He needed to think she was tough as nails, that she didn't give a damn. It was easier that way. He had moved on so quickly, she feared if she ever admitted to him that sometimes when she heard a baby cry she looked around, thinking it might be Beth, he would take that to mean she still needed him and wanted to get back together. She was worried about him though. There had been a rumor that he was battling depression because he wasn't over her. He seemed fine when she saw him at Glee Club, though. She really hoped he was alright, the last thing she wanted to do was ruin his life.
He misses her, he'll admit it. He only got to hold her once, for a few minutes, but still. That little girl grabbed a hold of his finger and took his heart along with it. She was the perfect mixture of the two of them. Yea, he missed her. What's it to you? He thinks about calling Shelby a few times, but he doesn't want to disrupt her life. He strikes up a friendship with Rachel Berry, thinking maybe she'll have some insight into his daughter's new life, but she doesn't. He lets her cry on his shoulder when she and Finn break up at the end of junior year, and she doesn't resist when he kisses her. She stops him before things get too far though. She always stops him. But he keeps her around, because she listens. He talks to her about Beth, and she really listens. He even cried in front of her once, but swore that if she told anyone he'd spread a rumor that she blew him. They toy around with the idea of dating again, but ultimately decide against it. "You're still not over Quinn, Noah." She says. "And you'd have to be if we were ever to work as an item."
How I need to hear you, hear you so softly. Hear you say anything. Every single tear you shed, well it kills me
Suddenly there was a new man in Quinn's life. Sam was sweet, funny, and talented. He was basically Puck and Finn all rolled into one. The best part about him was that there was no drama attached to him. He hadn't known her when she was pregnant, so he didn't see everything she had gone through, with Finn, Puck, Mercedes, Rachel, everyone really. Sam was a clean slate, and she was happy. They stayed together their entire junior year, and were even voted as part of Prom Court at their junior Prom, but Sam's dad got transferred again halfway through the summer before senior year so they decided to part ways as friends, rather than try a long distance relationship.
She was sitting at the park on a bench, scribbling something in her notebook. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun, held together with pencils and she looked so damn cute. "Hey Quinn." He said. She looked up. "Puck, hi! How have you been?" "I've been good. Just working at Burt Hummel's shop, doing the music thing. You know, the usual. How's Sam?" Quinn looks down. "Oh, we broke up. He had to move, his dad's company transferred him again." "I'm sorry to hear that." "You know, it's really ok. Our relationship ran its course. He's a great guy, he just isn't THE guy." Puck nods. "Yea, I get it." He turns to walk away. "Hey, Puck?" she says. He turns back around. "What's up, Q?" She shakes her head. "Nothing. It-it's dumb. Don't worry about it." "No, come on. What's going on?" "Do you ever think about her?" He knows exactly what "her" Quinn is referring to. "Every day." She nods. "I figured you'd say that. Me too. You know, I was at the mall once, and I saw this little girl. She had to have been about five, but she looked exactly like what I imagine Beth will look like in a few years. And I just started to cry. Right there in front of Orange Julius." She blushes. "Wow. That was way too much information." Puck shakes his head. "No, Quinn. It's fine. I miss her too. Sometimes I wanna cry about it, but you know, I'm a dude." Quinn nods. "Right." "Anyway. It was nice seeing you Q. Have a good summer." "You too, Puck."
Senior year comes and goes. Neither dates anyone. Quinn and Finn briefly flirt with the idea of getting back together but it never amounts to anything and the two decide they're better off as friends. Brittany and Santana fall in love and date for much of senior year, leaving Puck out in the cold. They decide a week before prom that they shouldn't be exclusive, because neither could ever really give up men completely, but still go together. Puck attends senior prom with Rachel Berry, and Quinn goes with Finn, because they had always promised to go together. When she and Puck are named Prom King and Queen, they have to share a dance. It's bittersweet for both of them, though neither would admit it. "Who would have guessed that we would ever win Prom King and Queen?" He said to her. "Back in sophomore year… who would have guessed it?" "I told you I had to get it all back, Puck. And I did. I have everything. Captain of the Cheerios, Prom Queen, Valedictorian. And I have a full scholarship to an Ivy League school." "You did good, Quinn." He says. "But something's still missing, isn't it?" He whispers in her ear. The song ends, he kisses the top of her head, and then he's gone, and she's left to think about what he said. Maybe something really is missing.
This is life without you, learning how to miss you. I guess I need to know how it feels like. This is life without you; don't know who to turn to. Everything I know, the saddest goodbye. So goodbye. This is life without you