Chapter ten

Birkhoff hurriedly made his way to the front door, Michael's cold words still running through his mind. Was it so obvious that Birkhoff was yearning for the contact of someone who wasn't Division, someone who was willing to spend time with him. He didn't want to believe it, didn't want to accept it but then Michael's words came crashing down on him and he worried that maybe he should believe it.

Before he reached the door, it opened and Owen stared at him before rolling his eyes, even though they had found some middle ground, the threat was always hanging around like a bad smell.

Owen would hurt him if he hurt Alex. It was actually getting boring. But he wouldn't dare point that out to Owen.

"I was wondering how long before you came around; have to admit you have surprised me. A whole eight hours" Birkhoff just glared instead of flipping Owen the finger, he wasn't in the mood for any of that right now. When Alex had text him with the offer of dinner for her thanks, Birkhoff couldn't wait to get away from Division, Michael and Percy.

Ready to snap off a response, Birkhoff understood that Owen was going out. He was leaving Alex alone with the other guards and he was shocked. In the past three weeks Owen had never been far from Alex's side, like he doubted anyone could protect her like he could.

"Your leaving" Owen rolled his eyes at the obvious statement and folded his arms waiting for Birkhoff to add his always snarky remark.

"I have a few things to do; don't worry the rest of the guards are still around. You should feel lucky because they are more likely to go easy on you, but I wouldn't try it" Owen sounded light hearted but Birkhoff just clamped his mouth shut and threw him a glare.

With a wave Owen headed towards his car and Birkhoff watched him go. It was hard but it was a fact. At the end of this mission Owen Elliot was destined to die, even if Alex agreed, Owen was going to be cancelled for his defection from Division.

Birkhoff opened his mouth but quickly clamped it shut, because for one he didn't know how to warn Owen without explaining it all to him and two because Owen would kill him the moment the words out of his mouth.

So he just let the guard go and headed towards the mansion feeling like that weight left by Michael had grown in size due to his inaction.

He wasn't the bad guy in this, he wasn't but neither was Owen for that matter. All he did was fall in love; someone who didn't even know what Owen really did back in Division. And so what if it had been drummed into their heads to never have relationships, Birkhoff knew Percy had allowed certain agents engage in relationships, OK it was for a mission but still, they were human after all.

Clenching his jaw, he knew just why it was forbidden. Love equalled distractions, a new loyalty and the evil they faced and beat on a daily basis would use that distraction to their own means. But Owen was the best from what Birkhoff could remember.

His thinking was cut short when he found Alex, in the kitchen swaying back and forth between the counters. Her hair pulled back in a messy pony tail, her green button shirt revealing creamy skin and a white strappy top. His mission. The mission he was slowly coming to hate and love; she was the one person that he was beginning to wish he had met in another time and place.

Tilting his head he couldn't stop himself from thinking about everything Michael had said; about what Michael and Nikita had.

If Michael was pointing a gun at Alex's head, could he stop it or would he just allow it happen because it was what Division wanted.

Alex spun and grinned brightly at him, her hands holding something that look like bread and Birkhoff just hoped she wasn't trying something new on him.

As though reading his mind she pursed her lips and held the stuff up for him to see, it was dough and all the things needed for a pizza sat on the counter.

"Pizza! Your early" she frowned and Birkhoff darted his head and eyes away, trying to avoid her seeing he was still thinking over how much this mission might cost him in the end.

"So where's Owen going to; he didn't even threaten me properly" Birkhoff snipped causing Alex to drop the dough on the counter and scrub her hands clean.

"A errand; what's wrong" he could hope that just once people would let a subject change go unnoticed.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking; I don't like peppers any where near my pizza" Birkhoff tried his hardest to brush off her concern, felt trapped by it and warmed by the thought that she knew there was something wrong and didn't run from the idea of helping him.

"Right! Did something happen" Birkhoff squirmed when she filled his personal space and he was fighting hard not to snap at her, push her away to remind himself that she was a target, a means to an end.

"No" she takes a step back at his harsh snap and he wants to say sorry, almost does but he rubs his face to stop from seeing that wounded look. He forces himself to look at her before sighing.

"I was working late; I'm tired and I'm a bit of a jerk but what can you do" he swallows when she studies him with hard eyes but then she's nodding and convinced. Moving back to her cooking, Birkhoff watches how easy she moves, the grace that flows through every movement and he wonders what it would have been like if she had been a recruit or an agent. Would they had the same easy banter; probably not but he could only hope that he would have been wrong.

"Lyle approves of the changes you have made; didn't understand all of them but he still approves" Alex threw over her shoulder as she busied herself with cooking and Birkhoff knew he was an ass before hand but it was what he needed to do.

"I just have to check up on a few things, be back in five" he offered and didn't even glance back when he took off. Didn't even see Alex screwing her eyes shut and taking deep breaths.

For how tense the evening started it grew steadily easier as it wound on. Dinner was served and it was only when Birkhoff had groaned at how good the food was that things were normal between them. They sat drinking coffee and laughing.

"So London? What the hell did you need to do there" he doesn't miss the way she swallows and almost looks caught but before it can sink in, Alex smiles at him brightly and shrugs.

"Lyle bought out a company over there; he wants to sell it now and he thought having me there would smooth it over. It didn't but I got to see London for a few hours" Birkhoff snorted into his coffee and smirked at Alex's mock withering glare.

After she gave in and grinned at him, Alex raised her eyebrow, taking a sip of her coffee forming her question.

"What about you? What have you been doing while I was away and not driving you like some slave" Birkhoff took a large gulp of his coffee to prepare his lie.

"Not flying off to Europe and back" just watching Poland "but busy; don't worry sweetheart, it's just me with the ego, so I wasn't waiting for you to come back" so his mind was hissing at him that was a lie but Alex just rolled her eyes and shook her head. A thoughtful passed across her face and she lent over her coffee, looking at him like he was some puzzle she wanted to finish.

"You know thinking about it, I really don't know anything about what you do outside of this place. I know your single, your family aren't here and you don't do really much that is noted on paper. But I don't know anything more then what I got from your back ground. You Birkhoff are a mystery" Birkhoff let out a laugh of nerves and darted his eyes around.

Figuring he could paint a pretty picture that Amanda hadn't chosen, he felt that it might be OK to go a little wild.

"What you want to know sunshine" he wouldn't grin at that beaming look on her face, wouldn't feel the swell of pride knowing he had just made her happy.

"What do you do for fun" it was a simple question.

"Porn" Alex let out a bark of laughter and threw her self back, glaring at him half hearted Birkhoff raised a hand and gave her a smile. A real one that felt alien but wonderful on his lips.

"I create programs, for fun, to do anything really. Read graphic novels because I'm just that cool and I... well I guess that's it" OK going wild was something he had to work on but Alex isn't judging him or looking at him with pity. She almost sighs wistful at the thought of being able to be alone and do anything.

"What about friends?" a harder question because the truth was he didn't have any; just Michael and at the moment that might be doubtful.

"I don't have time for them; it's not secret that I'm a genius and well, people don't like to be reminded of the fact" Birkhoff admitted looking at his coffee.

"You could stop reminding them" he snorts and lifts his eyes to peer at her through his eyelashes. Then sitting up his grins and points to himself.

"Greatness like this sweetheart shouldn't be hid from the world; but I do have a friend, but he's being a dick at the moment" Birkhoff was getting as close to the truth as he could. Alex raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

"And you aren't to blame one little bit are you" she questioned and he couldn't stop the frown because she was right; Michael had said some things but it wasn't like Birkhoff had been standing there like a brick wall.

"What about you? Don't get me wrong I could talk about myself all day long but I'm feeling a little on show here. What's up with Owen; please tell me he isn't love with you because that's kinder scary" Birkhoff demanded faking a shudder causing Alex to laugh at him and shake her head.

"No; Lyle became my guardian when I was fifteen, he tried his best but he is a little misguided on how many people he thinks are out to kill him. When I was seventeen Lyle hired Owen; it was only to be for a few years but we just bonded. I never had any brothers or sisters and Owen had a sister growing up so he knew what it was like.

He's just like my big brother I guess, if big brothers threaten to kill people that is, and Lyle didn't see any point in hiring anyone else for the job" Alex shrugged as though it was nothing major and Birkhoff let it drop.

"So what do you do for fun then?" Birkhoff was honestly interested, it had been a long time since he was able to have an honest conversation with someone who wasn't an agent or another tech.

"Fun is what again" Birkhoff laughed at her joke but still waited for his answer.

"Lyle tried to get me into all that higher education fun; horse riding, polo, swimming... the usual. But I flunked out of them all, both him and Owen hate the fact that I love driving" Birkhoff's snort made it clear that he had yet to get over the last ride she took him on.

"Believe it or not, fun is just hanging around, watching sports with the guards, cooking or training. I like being normal after nearly half my life spent knowing I'm not. Lyle intends for me to inherit everything when he dies but all that money just makes me nervous, like I'm just going to do something wrong with it" frowning Birkhoff wanted to know just what she thought might be wrong but decided that he should change the subject. Lighten the mood.

"OK boyfriends now; I'll say this once because I don't want your ego to get any where as big as mine, but why in hell don't you have a line of men trying to beat down Owen to get to you" it was still bugging him even now, if he wasn't undercover and knew Alex he would be trying his hardest. Well maybe not but hell if he wouldn't dream about it.

"The men I know are all snobs... they only want me because of what I would look like on their arm and what my name could get them" the bitterness made Birkhoff sigh and give her a half smile.

"That is most men, I will have to excuse present company for the time being" Alex added causing Birkhoff to snort and shoot her a disbelieving look.

"Please like I would have a chance" he bit his lip the moment the words rushed out but Alex just shook her head and stood. Taking her mug over to the sink she glanced at him and smiled at him sweetly.

"Your not as off putting as you think; in fact I find you rather charming. Ego included" flushing Birkhoff attempted to wave the comment away but Alex quickly spun and glared at him.

"You don't believe me do you?" arching an eyebrow at him, Alex was waiting for him to retort back at her but he just ducked his head, finding his coffee far more interesting and safer.

"You can't accept that people want to get close to you" Alex snorted causing Birkhoff to snap his head up and glare at her.

"People don't just want to get close to me for no reason; never have and I doubt they are going to start too now" the bitterness was a shock to him, because he never once let it bother him before and he was damning him self and Alex for it getting to him now.

"Right!" Alex shook her head and went to turn away but Birkhoff's glare caught her gaze.

"What about you sweetheart; if you didn't need me, didn't need me to fix your problems would you be here, would I be here. No; let face it people don't like the geek, don't want to be friends with the nerd unless they need him to do something" Birkhoff glared at her for as long as he could and the anger bubbling away in him made him want to vent everything he had ever felt and ignored.

"I checked you out before I even thought to offer you the job" that sentence shocked him, made him stare at her with confusion as his anger melted away. Chewing her lip she could just met his stare head on before shaking her head.

"At the party; after you left I decided that I wanted to know you. The only thing I used was the situation! Don't you think I know what people think about me. I've lived with Lyle long enough to know that when people look at me, they see this rich woman trying to prove her self, they don't think I have brains and even when I do prove it they just think I used Lyle's money and connections to get the job done"

the silence that followed made Birkhoff swallow, the thought that she had checked into his background, had wanted to get to know him was still bouncing hard around his head.

Alex for her part just studied him, her lip caught between her teeth and the thought that she had gone to far was tearing at her. Birkhoff slowly lifted his head and looked at her, an intense look burning his eyes that Alex doubting her words and her self.

When she thought to apologise, Birkhoff just shook his head and grinned. Just like that the air was eased and the tension drained.

"Any ice cream" Birkhoff smiled when Alex giggled and shook her head, but after a few seconds she looked at him with a serious expression and he felt himself squirm before he could stop it.

"You're a great guy Birkhoff, I mean that" there was something hidden behind her words and eyes that had him frowning at her. Her words held a tone of firmness that had him wanting to believe but the way her body stiffened just a little made him believe that there was something more then what she had said.

But the moment had passed and she was moving around with that graceful flow that he couldn't think to say anything more.

The rest of the evening was spent with them ignoring what had been said and Birkhoff was trying his hardest to forget that anything could be wrong between them. By the time Alex was yawning, Birkhoff was dreading the drive home. He had to leave but a part of him, recently awoken by this woman, wanted to stay and enjoy a few more minutes of being normal.

Even if it was an act.

"You do know I have more bedrooms than sense here" Alex chirped as they strolled towards the front door and Birkhoff just snorted, throwing her a look to which she just shrugged.

"I'm going home sweetheart; I should have been home hours ago, so just to remind you that if I happen to fall asleep and drive into on coming traffic I'm haunting you" Alex just rolled her eyes and attempted to hide her smile.

The fresh air washed any idea that he would fall asleep but it also washed away any idea that he wanted to go home, turning he studied Alex and smiled at her. She was different from the women he had known. She was different in her innocence from his mother and girls of his childhood.

She was different in her determination from Amanda and the women at Division and she sure in hell was different in her hidden strength from Nikita.

"I had a lovely evening" she sighs and he swore she lent forward a little but with the lack of red bull and her intoxicating presence he just assumed he needed some sleep.

"Like you expected anything different" tilting his head, Birkhoff dared Alex not smile at him then, and she didn't, she even giggled before chewing her lip and before he knew what was happening, her slender arms were wrapped around his neck and she was hugging him. Stiffening he debated between hugging her back and pushing her away, but his arms betrayed him and he almost sighed against her hair when he pressed her against him.

"You are a great guy Birkhoff" for a spilt second he wanted to know and feel what it would be like if she said his first name. He repressed the idea quickly as it reared up, because Seymour was a boy who hid away in his bedroom and made his parents question him, made others hate him a little and made himself fear what he could do.

Pulling back Alex looked up at him through her eye lashes, a fire dancing in her dark eyes and Birkhoff saw it before it even happened. But he was still shocked when her soft lips pressed against him and remained their for several seconds. He didn't move, didn't want to understand that Alex was kissing him and not because he was a geek but because she was a target, one with a very large knife dangling over her head.

His body betrayed him again, his lips began to move against hers. He dug his fingers into her side when her tongue sought entrance and he refused to groan at her taste once it did sneak in. beneath his fingers he could feel her curves and the arching of her back, putting everything into that kiss.

He felt her eyelashes brush against his cheek and he was sure he gripped her tight enough to leave bruises on her delicate skin. It was only when her fingers gripped his shirt that Birkhoff was able to gather his thinking away from the woman pressed against him. Forcefully pushing himself away from her, he ignored the way her lips puffed up and he refused to look into her eyes.

Scrubbing his hand at the back of his neck, he darted his eyes away, licking his lips to try and rid himself of the taste of her.

"I... you... I have to go" and with that he spun and ran from her and the idea that he definitely didn't want to leave now. But he was cursing himself as he slipped into his car and drove away, cursing everything that he could as he attempted, and failed, to stop himself remembering the feel of Alex.

He didn't even look back as he drove past the gates. Because if he did he would have seen the down trodden look on Alex's face before Owen slipped out of the shadows and glared at his car. He would have seen Alex brushing a tear away before assuring Owen everything was still under control.