DARK DUCK
The Greatest Heist There Never Was
Chapter Two
Part 5
The Full Picture
Meeting followed meeting and Hooter's Monday went along as though he'd never spent an extra Saturday working back. There was never any rest for the conscientious. Across the desk from Grizlykoff sitting there, Hooter picked up his coffee mug, realised it was empty and put it down with a sigh. It was as empty as it had been an hour ago. Surely, it was time enough to discuss personnel. He glanced at the clock on the wall. Just after five. He closed the case file.
"Before we leave we really must discuss our personnel situation here at St Canard Headquarters, Assistant Director." He picked up his pencil and twirled it absentmindedly.
"Agent Lanley," Grizlykoff frowned, "But he is still green."
Hooter nodded, "It hasn't escaped my notice either. So considering our current personnel situation, if it isn't Agent Lanley then it really must be Doctor Bellum."
Grizlykoff's jaw dropped in shock.
"Until," Hooter shot Grizlykoff a pointed look, "Such time as we can recruit someone more suitable." Hooter tapped his pencil onto his large notebook, "We aren't currently under review, but I cannot imagine head office would have anything remotely positive to say about our predicament. I'm not planning to retire any more than you are planning to fall ill again, but no plan survives an enemy; If we can't find ourselves successors, then S.H.U.S.H. central headquarters will do it for us." Hooter frowned, "Quite aside from the pride of handling our own affairs in a self-sufficient manner, I have no doubt they will deploy someone who is unfamiliar with not only how we operate this office, but also St. Canard itself."
"Nyet," Grizlykoff frowned, "Most unpleasant thoughts."
"I'm sure we can arrange someone better inclined to the position of Assistant Director, but in the interim, we must start training Doctor Bellum." Hooter frowned back at him. "Do try to make it sound 'not' like a punishment?"
Grizlykoff struggled with his personal annoyance, "ach, she will not see it as anything but a punishment. Is no better if bribe with flowers."
"Oh, now," Hooter chuckled, "Agent Bellum quite likes dissecting flowers."
There was a knock on Hooter's door.
"Yes?"
"Sorry sir," his personal assistant Terri Smith took a step into the room. "Agent Quiota, sir; he's here to see you and he's brought someone."
"Someone?" Hooter repeated, trying to guess from the strange expression on Terri's face. He looked back to Grizlykoff, "Have a good night, Agent." He dismissed.
"Yes, sir, I think, I still have a few things to finish at my desk."
Hooter nodded and Grizlykoff left the room.
"Director Hooter, sir."
Agent Quiota, a stripy brown-white feathered quail smiled as he walked in. At least he had enough sense left to dress in regulation grey business wear. A woman beagle followed Quiota into the room. Her clothes were a mismatch of tie-dyes, a bandana over her head, large hoop earrings. She had watery grey eyes.
"I want you to meet Annie Bush." Agent Quiota introduced.
Focusing on Annie Bush as a person, Hooter went straight to manners; "How do you do?"
"I can tell you things of yourself. Crimes you couldn't solve. Such guilt."
"I really don't think that will be necessary ..." In a pang of worry, he looked up at the Canadian special agent that had brought her in. Hooter wanted an explanation.
"I see them impressed upon your soul."
Hooter looked back at her with a start. "You read souls?"
"I see them. I interpret them."
Hooter sat down and offered the interview chair to Annie. "Can you find lost souls and put them back?"
"I have access to the realm. Find, certainly. Put them back, I have only done it once."
"But you have done it." Hooter leaned forward. "What needs to happen for you to do that?"
"I need to connect to this person. I need to meet them."
"That doesn't seem too complicated. I think I could arrange that."
"How was this soul lost?" Annie asked.
"It's a particularly unpleasant situation," Hooter cleared his throat. "He was turned into a vampire. I've read in some accounts that a separation happens, although it's entirely a speculative matter."
Annie was relaxed, it seemed, about everything. "I have not encountered any vampires in my searches for lost souls."
"None?" Hooter looked at her in surprise.
"Perhaps I should say that they do not come to me?"
"Sir," Quiota objected, standing to the side of the table.
Hooter looked up at him, "Yes, Agent?"
"Vampires aren't the most trustworthy guys. You want to be friends with a savage beast, that's fine. But I don't want Annie on the receiving end of that."
"Savage beast," Hooter blanched, "my apologies, Ms Bush." He addressed Quiota properly, "I am sure this will all come to light in your report, Agent Quiota. I have yet to read how you reached such a conclusive statement."
"I am eager to meet this 'savage beast'." Annie interrupted, "We should seek to tame its soul."
Hooter cleared his throat. "Well and good." Without another thought, he picked up his remote and activated the videophone on the wall. It was several moments before the call went through.
"Uh, yes, what ... Director Hooter?" Launchpad said in a nervous tone, "What can ... how can I help you?"
"Hello, Mr. McQuack." Hooter began, "I was wondering if Darkwing Duck was available to come in for a visit to headquarters?"
"Uh, no, sorry chief, he's uh ... not up for that."
Hooter's heart skipped, "Perhaps if he could come to the videophone? I'm sure if he heard what I ..."
"Maybe, sir; what message can I give him?"
"No. Thank you, Launchpad. That's quite alright." Hooter switched off the phone in shock and sank back into his chair.
"That was pretty adamant of you, sir."
"I hardly think this argument will present itself on paper, agent." Hooter explained in disgruntlement, not even sure what had possessed him to go this far himself. It was surely a preposterous notion!
Immediately Hooter was apologetic to his visitor. "Launchpad provides Darkwing an extreme level of protective support," he explained. "He takes phone calls; he comes in place of him. I would like to use your services, Ms Bush, but I'm afraid pinning the subject down for any soul searching seems rather unlikely after all."
"Okay, thanks, Annie, you can wait outside." Quiota marshalled her to leave the room. "Terri's a real sweetheart. Ask and she'll get you a cup of tea for sure."
With a casual air, Annie Bush drifted out of the room.
"Are you giving up, sir?" Agent Quiota asked as he closed the door behind her.
Hooter sighed and took his glasses off to clean them. "I don't know, Agent. I just ... I don't have the full picture yet."
"What about your source?"
"My source has other concerns mixed up in all this."
" 'Sounds complicated."
"It is for him." Hooter answered. "He is very much at risk from multiple parties including the vampire I'm investigating. I could add an extra guard for him but it wouldn't exactly improve his chances for survival." Hooter stood up and went to his window. "And that isn't even the worst of my concerns." He turned back to Quiota, "Agent, I asked you for information 'on' vampires. Could you please explain Annie Bush?"
Quiota frowned, "I thought she'd lend some fresh perspective to the case. In a non-meeting with your vampire kind of way. That was risky, sir, I can't believe you did that."
"I cannot imagine what has possessed you to bring her here in the first place!" Hooter returned and then rephrased his question, "Your mission was to source information on vampires. If Ms Bush has never had a vampire cross her doorstep then she is here for no informative reason. You do not think she will manage such an encounter within the realm of her profession then she is not here for any purposeful reason. Even the most variegated of independent operatives would have briefed me on the relevance they perceived Ms Bush had to their case before my discussion with her. Agent Quiota, where is your report?"
"Oh, sorry, yeah; it's not polished yet. 'Had a bad round after I got back last night."
"Right now I will be grateful for anything you can give me." Hooter impressed on him.
From his breast pocket, the paranormal expert pulled out a plastic evidence bag with a hard covered notebook inside and put it on the table.
"Agent Quiota, dare I ask what your notebook is doing in a plastic bag?"
"It got wet."
"And it's a non-regulation hardcover because...?"
"My soft cover got really chewed up. I had a lot of notes to transcribe."
Hooter shook his head and sighed, "Alright, Agent."
"Can we get back to Annie Bush now while she's waiting out there?" Quiota asked him.
"Frankly, I'm not sure whether I believe in souls or not," Hooter professed. "They don't particularly make an appearance in my work," he frowned. "I am primarily concerned with facts. As, indeed is the vampire I'm concerned over."
"And I can't find any facts, sir!" Quiota objected, "It's all hearsay and no two stories are alike. Even the dictionary disagrees with the encyclopaedia; its nuts."
Hooter raised an eyebrow. "How do they disagree?"
"Are they lost souls or are they soulless monsters and can you tell the difference?"
Quiota stepped into the centre of the room and raised his hand to gesture the height of someone. "First glance I thought it was a condor." He mimicked a broad inland accent. "Came swooping down and I knew sure as heck it wasn't. Darn snatched that deer straight out of my crosshairs. I came up on it. I swear I didn't let off a shot and that deer was clean dead when I got there. Not a drop of blood left anywhere."
Gesturing another person's height with his other hand, Quiota started again. "Dude; we all thought it was a wolf." He mimicked a school-leaver, "Totally gate-crashed our campsite. Me and the guys all ran. I tripped up on a tree root. I was halfway up on my feet and there was this strange guy standing over me. Dressed like a park ranger. I told him about the wolf and he told me the approved camping grounds were on the other side of the river and I'd better pack up pronto. I was shouting now, telling him again about the wolf and it wasn't safe to go back. I don't remember exactly what he said next, something like 'really?' Before he changed straight into that wolf, stood there and growled at me."
"That's not a vampire." Hooter interrupted, "That's a wereduck."
"That's what I said, but the student plain told me that he got off lightly. One of his friends at the campsite was actually bitten. The others found him back on the other side of the river fainted and took him to the hospital in the town. Heavy blood loss and only two tiny puncture wounds to account for it. Sound familiar?"
Hooter's stomach twisted. "What should a wereduck bite look like?"
Quiota snorted. "I've been in the paranormal division for ten years and I've never seen that bite mark. No one has. Of course, plenty of stories are out there. People get attacked and disappear. The next people see of them: there's another wereduck in the county. This story got me to thinking wereducks are just vampires that can shape shift."
"Let's try to focus on simple vampires, please, if there is such a thing." Hooter swallowed; "Ones that don't shape shift into wereducks."
"Right, because there's not much room to shape shift in the big towns; I thought of that, that's why I came back to St Canard; so I could check out the city vampire phenomenon." Agent Quiota crossed his arms. "So last night I found this really suspicious looking club downtown St Canard called 'Heart and Spade'. Most clubs really go for flashing signs to draw in the clientele. But not this one. I'm looking at these two bouncers. It's a bit hard getting into these clubs if you don't have arm candy, so I'm there wondering how to get myself past these bouncers..."
Seconds slid by.
Hooter was alarmed as Quiota's sentence faded incomplete. "What happened?"
"I didn't go in," Quiota answered, "I didn't need to. I had one of those bouncers look me dead in the eye. Vampire, make no mistake. I nodded at him and turned on my heel." Quiota sat deep in thought down in the interview chair. "That's when I started thinking about fortune tellers; real ones like Annie, not those wannabes. Because staring into you is something she does for a living and that vampire staring straight into me was just like that."
"Vampires can do what Annie does." Hooter sat down at his chair across the table from Quiota. "You left that club, but was it in time? Would you know if the bouncer bit you or not?"
Quiota thumbed behind him. "It's cool, chief, Dame Bellum cleared me on the way in. Phew, has she ever got great-."
"Agent Quiota!" Hooter snapped at him. "Report to Assistant Director Grizlykoff. You've been out on field for a tad too long and I don't know how much that vampire has affected you but you're due for reorientation training as of right now!"
"I'm sorry, sir, I was just-."
"Agent," Hooter cooled down, "this is a big city. There is an alien landing of some description every other month, at least one zombie rampage every year. We have sporadic trans-dimensional incursions and various major crime rings in operation. A super villain runs the lighthouse; sea serpents live just past the coastline shelf and mutant sharks prowl the bay. The addition of vampires is something S.H.U.S.H. will also find a way to manage." He paused, checking that Quiota was in fact listening to him. "The first and foremost reason that we, in this St Canard office manage all of this is our unwavering commitment to our rules, regulations, procedures and our filing system," he gazed intently at Quiota as he continued severely, "but most of all what keeps us together is our strict adherence to our code of conduct."
Agent Quiota stood up quickly. "I'll get reacquainted right now, sir."
"Please do." Hooter nodded in relief. "I will not tolerate it again."
"No, sir," Quiota left.
Taking a breath to relax, Hooter turned off his light and stepped outside his room, locking it behind him. Terri was sitting at her desk, Annie on the other side of the room in the left-hand waiting chair.
"Are you alright, sir?" Terri gazed up at him. "I heard you raise your voice. You never raise your voice."
"With the matter connected to Drake Mallard." Hooter stated bluntly. "It was inappropriate to have Grizlykoff present."
"Drake Mallard?" Annie interrupted, "you are not talking of a young man, are you? Blue eyes?" She let out a whistle, "Raging bull of a temper?"
"That's him!" Hooter exclaimed, immediately fascinated with this woman, "how do you know of him?"
Annie smiled, "back in Swansylvania. He stayed with our caravan for a year. Or was it two?" She shook her head. "The crowd simply adored him," Annie smiled. "What do you know of him?"
"If we're talking about the same person then he's been turned into a vampire," Terri said flatly.
Annie's smile faded, "but that won't stop him for very long."
"I should say," Hooter interposed, "it isn't a thing that stops someone at all." Hooter mentioned grimly. "It's more the fact that they start harming people and therefore need to be stopped."
"Drakey Mallard is a good person!" Annie was suddenly quite fiery, "I have Seen it. He proved all his teachers wrong. He will prove you wrong. Now," she lightly brushed down her psychedelic coloured skirt, no longer cross, "Since you have sent Agent Quiota away to relearn his manners, perhaps you could assist me transport back to the fairground by the bay?"
"I'll take you there." Hooter stated, "Perhaps some of your conviction will rub off on me along the way." He turned his head, "goodnight, Mrs. Smith."
"You too, sir," Terri smiled.
Hooter gestured to the exit and led Annie to the lift feeling somewhat displaced with his visitor. She knew so much of Drake Mallard, but so little of the vampire he'd become. Hooter didn't know where to begin a conversation with Annie Bush and instead continued from the lift to his car in the underground car park in silence.
They reached his black Corgita and after letting Annie in to the passenger seat Hooter went around and sat down heavily in the driver's seat.
"You are quite distressed. What has he done?" Annie finally broke Hooter's stare out at the cement wall in front of them.
"There is evidence." Hooter sighed and started the engine to reverse the car. "I suppose there's no harm to tell you. The state of being a vampire has compromised him. There is evidence that he's bitten someone."
"I know very little about vampires." Annie stated, "Was the person a bad person?"
Hooter frowned as he changed gears, "That doesn't make a terrible lot of difference." He manoeuvred up the ramp to the exit. "It's a criminal action regardless of the victim."
Annie countered, "Drakey wouldn't have chosen to be a vampire any more than he would carry a gun."
"I'm not sure of what that has to do with the matter as it stands."
They were shortly on the road heading for the showground by the bay.
"To be truthful, I'm rather concerned for his mindset," Hooter said sadly.
"There is very little to wonder about," Annie said calmly. "Drakey spent years on making his temper work for him. He crossed whole mountain ranges on foot to learn his disciplines. He would do so again."
"Certainly if he at all resembles his former self such a practical approach would befit him."
Hooter eventually slowed down to the showground, parked and turned off his engine.
"Since you knew him so well, could you find his soul if it was lost?"
"Surely," she answered, "few burn so brightly."
Hooter's phone buzzed. "Excuse me." He stepped out of the car and closed his door as he answered the call, "Agent Grizlykoff?"
"Sir," Grizlykoff answered. "I have report that F.O.W.L. have broken into prison and Agent Steelbeak is removed."
"We knew this would eventually occur." As he headed around the car, Hooter noticed a nearby car park floodlight washing the cement in a blue hue. At least Steelbeak wouldn't have the blue lights shining on him tonight. "Alert our surveillance teams." He stated as he reached Annie's door. "There is simply no telling of how any of this will turn out at this stage. We have to be ready to move in expeditiously."
"Yes sir. I will see our units will be ready."
"Thank you, agent," Hooter hung up and slipped the phone back into his pocket. He opened Annie's door and helped her out.
"I'm terribly sorry that we've kept you out after dark. Let me walk you in."
"That's very kind." Annie replied and they headed through the unmanned gates and on through the ring of caravans.
Two large cats with thick collars and bristling fur opened their discerning eyes to study Hooter as he passed by with Annie.
"That's Ernie and Greg." Annie said with quiet calm.
"How tame are they?" Hooter inquired with curiosity as they headed to Annie's wagon. In the gloom from the flood lamps, he saw mystical pictures painted over the wood although he couldn't make out much.
"It all depends on who they're dealing with." She turned to him before reaching the step. "I can see they don't trouble you."
"How did Drakey handle them?"
Annie laughed and opened her door, "Oh, Drakey. He was always up to something. Come in and I will find him."
Hooter stepped up into the caravan and Annie got him to take a seat at the crowded in table. The show wagon smelt heavily of incense and a large blown glass ball took up the centre of the small circular table. Annie lit up an incense stick and sat down across the table from Hooter, a look of concentration replacing the glassy calm on her face. "Drake Mallard," she murmured. "You are nearby."
A/n: Various educational references from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Thank you Joss Whedon.