Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man. Just my OCs.

I apologize in advance for any mistakes and any English spelling errors, as usual.

Well, it's been too long, God, almost an year..
I've started this chapter so long ago but haven't really had the inspiration to finish it, but here it is!
Thank you for sticking with the story after so much time since I last updated!

Enjoy the chapter =D

10th Chapter

Bend

"Every heart is much the same, we tell ourselves down here...the same chambers fed by veins, the same maze of love and fear..aaand, we thought you were a saint but the halo was an eye...it's hard to see how there could be so much dark...inside the light..." I hummed the rest of the tune.

I don't know why, but lying on the ground while watching the profound blue sky up there has a certain magic to it.

Maybe some people feel tiny in comparison with the vast blue above and that makes them feel uncomfortable somehow, confronted with the huge thing that is this world.

But for me, it just amazes me and comforts me to know that it's always there, sometimes covered with clouds, but there nonetheless, unmoving, unchangeable.

And so, so beautiful.

And now imagine, the vast blue sky above and the vast blue sea underneath. And imagine the slow, constant rocking of a ship and the gentle sea breeze. And imagine the soft warmth of the sun on your face.

It was like the earth was singing me a lullaby and I was dozing off.

"What the hell are you doing?"

That gave me a start. So much for the dozing off part.

I put my hand over my heart. It was beating like crazy.

"Jeez, Kanda, I know sometimes you want to kill me but still..."

"Che"

I turned my face to see him look up at the sky and sit next to me, closing his eyes.

"So, what are you doing?" He asked quietly.

"Hmm, I was trying to sleep but you kind of ruined it all..." I said with a trace of disappointed on my voice.

Kanda instantly glared at me, no doubt irritated at my tone of voice "Why...you little..."

I smiled at him and chuckled "You are way too easy to tease, Kanda dear"

"Shut it, baka" He hissed closing his eyes.

And easy to forgive the tease too...well, sometimes...

"Answer the damn question" Kanda persisted.

I raised my eyebrows, he's actually asking it?

I moved my eyes to gaze at the sky again, and shrugged "Just resting and thinking – what does it look like?" I added under my breath.

He stayed silent.

"Are..." Kanda started, after a while.

I looked at him. He didn't meet my eyes.

"Are you okay?" He asked in a quiet voice with an hint of irritation.

I raised my eyebrows again. What is going on here?

"Okay?" I asked. Since I didn't think he was asking for my general well being, I wasn't getting the reason for the question.

"Yes." He almost hissed. But continued more quietly "About Daisya"

"Ah..." He moved his eyes to meet mine but I looked somewhere else.

The ice cold pain on the fresh wound is still very much alive..I feel it right now.

"Will I ever be okay about that?" I paused for a moment. "I don't think so. But I know what you mean, and yes, I am moving on, I have to, everyone has to. We can't stop just because someone has stopped...I mean, it's very hard to..accept that he's gone but, is there anything we can do besides letting him rest in peace and treasure our memories of him?" I let the question hung in the air without expecting an answer.

I gazed at the sky again.

"...Have you ever thought about revenge?" Kanda asked quietly after a moment of silence.

I frowned at the unexpected subject. "Revenge..."

We still didn't know what exactly happened on the night Daisya died. We discussed the possibility that the one that had killed him was a Noah, probably that huge Noah that we saw a few times, but all those times we saw him he never did anything, never made a move to attack us, why would he suddenly decide to kill one of us? It didn't make sense so that theory was poorly based.

Revenge...Should I be lusting for it? " I don't know.." I said quietly.

"..."

My eyes met Kanda's straight and steady stare. He was waiting for my answer.

I sighed. "I honestly don't know what I would do If I knew or if I was face to face with Daisya's murderer" It was the truth. "One thing I know for sure. I can't forgive. Destroying a life, I can't possibly forgive that"

I am not seething with rage, I am still mourning my friend's death.

"You really are such a softie" Kanda stated looking thoughtful.

Am I really?

I smacked his head.

"Oi! What the hell was that for?"

"Pff, for calling me such an uncute name" I scolded him.

"Does 'uncute' even exists?" He glared.

I chuckled "Good question"

"You are a softie..." Kanda started again.

"Would you quit that?" I cut off.

"But you are dangerous too" He resumed.

I raised my eyebrows. "I fail to see the logic behind that"

"You are the dangerous kind, too unpredictable, too honest. Just like you said, you don't know what you would do, you would probably be driven by your emotions and hell if I know what would they be, so it would be...dangerous"

Wouldn't I be like everyone else, then?

On the other hand, was this really Kanda? Such an extensive and detailed sentence... But I wasn't about pointing that out to him, I accepted this new side and thanked God for it. It wasn't everyday that Kanda was so willing to talk.

"...are you trying to say that I'm too blunt?" I questioned him.

"...Maybe" He said quietly. He was thoughtful too.

"Maybe?"

This guy is trying to kill my brain with inhuman logic I don't grasp.

"I would really appreciate if you didn't try to confuse me.."

"Shut up" He replied with a hint of irritation in his voice.

Oops, talk time is over, huh? I chuckled inwardly.

"Mood swings already, Kanda? You sound like a pregnant woman or an old lady with menopause" I smirked while watching Kanda suddenly turning his face to me glaring fiercely.

Messing with Kanda was so fulfilling.

Even so, today Kanda was a little weird. Seeing my little amused smirk, instead of getting even angrier, it seemed like he lost the will to stay pissed off at me.

"Are you okay, Kanda?" I asked quietly, loosing the playfulness of before.

He sighed quietly, looked at the sky and then he looked straight at me "I'm fine" I knew he was being sincere.

I smiled at him "Good, now shut up and let me take a nap".

"Che"

I turned my body towards him to get comfortable and noticed him closing his eyes just before I closed mine for a peaceful nap while thinking about the impossibility that Kanda had been worried about me.

Well, sometimes, life was good.

Apparently someone was in big trouble. Literally.

We had just arrived at Edo, the feeling of the place was too dark to not notice, something was going on and it was not good at all.

We knew Marian Cross's team was here, so we hurried to somewhere we could have some visual on what was happening.

We still didn't know what would be General Tiedoll's course of action.

As we neared a high hill we saw a number of enormous Akumas walking right on top of Edo. They were huge, with unnatural repulsive shapes.

"Marie, what can you hears perceive...from over there?" General asked seriously.

After a moment of concentration "Among the noise of the Akumas large mechanical screeches, I can very faintly hear Lenalee...Lavi, and voices belonging to the rest of Cross's team." Marie stated.

Part of me was relieved, they were there and fighting, the other part of me felt anxious about what was happening.

"Okay..." General started slowly "Go to them"

That was a surprise. We looked back at General and silently, like a flash, we were gone.

It was hard to breathe, oh God, it was damn hard to breathe, to move, to think.

After reuniting with the other team, a big blow from the Millennium Earl himself was the the first warning that it wasn't going to be easy at all. Two Noahs were there too, the one that we had seen a few times and some other (oddly enough) good-looking one. Dangerous fellas.

Something happened to Lenalee, her hair was painfully short but other than that something strange was going on. The Millennium Earl had taken interest.

When the night came, it calmed down quite a bit, conversation had taken place and they introduced new exorcists, Miranda Lotto from Germany and Arystar Krory from Romania, both with wonderful powers, especially Miranda whose innocence was fascinating.

But then, suddenly, Lenalee was gone and the next minute so was Allen, Lavi, one guy that was with them whose name was Chaozii, then Kanda and then Arystar Krory. And in the next moment we were looking wide eyed to some strange object that resembled a messed up cube of sorts that was in the sky. Besides that, more than new 20 giant Akumas were coming towards again and all we had left was to fight and hope our comrades were safe, wherever they were in that ark, as Bookman had said.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I gasped painfully. Hell, it seemed like I wasn't breathing, just gasping since every time I tried to breathe it would hurt so much that I would end up gasping instead.

"Are you okay?" I heard Marie asking.

"Not exactly.." I answered with a grimace while trying to feel my ribs so I could understand what was the damage.

"Broken ribs?" Marie asked while coming closer to where I was sitting.

I shivered with pain when brushing a bit too painfully over one of said ribs. "At least two, if not more"

"You shouldn't-" Marie started.

"..move too much, I know the deal Marie, thanks"

I looked around, all of those giant Akumas were now fortunately down for good but some of us were not exactly in good shape and we still didn't know anything about what had happened to those who had disappeared.

I was nervous about it, because who knew what had happened, who knew where they were, who knew if they were okay..So many exorcists. This was different from the normal missions we took as exorcists, the Earl was involved in this, Noah were here too, they were few but who knew if there were more of them? And those giant Akumas? I've never seen one like them, levels above sure, even though few, but giant like that? Never.

I was not liking it one bit. Of course there was nothing to like but I had a bad feeling.

And just as I had finished this thought something happened.

Seemed like everything was in slow motion. Screams of surprise, screams of doubt, screams of fear, screams of realization. To me it was secondary as I looked into the sky and the same feelings arose in me as I took in what I was seeing.

Surprise, another ark in the sky, just like the other.

Doubt, it was black unlike the other.

Fear, the other one, the one where we thought our comrades had gone was disintegrating, falling apart, disappearing.

Realization.

It disappeared.

I didn't quite registered in my mind the screams of despair of Miranda, the eerie silence after, Marie saying that he didn't hear anything anymore.

I was in shock. So much that I don't know how much time it passed or if I was even sitting down still, or if anything hurt still. It was like I wasn't in my body anymore. I only felt shock. It didn't felt real.

And suddenly, as fast as it had disappeared, a strong light appeared and before us was the ark again, whole.

It felt like a haze and only when I finally heard their voices I started regaining my senses. The voices of those who had disappeared.

Kanda's voice telling Marie to shut up in his usual pissed off kind of way was what snapped me back to reality.

I gasped for air as I sunk my hands on the dirt on the ground and realized that my eyes were burning with tears and the despair that had been overtaking me, was now being replaced by intense overwhelming relief.

"Oh god...god...it's okay..." I told myself in between sobs.

"Hey! Hey Sae, are you okay?" Marie asked as he approached hurriedly.

"What's going on?" I heard someone ask somewhere.

I craned my neck to look at Marie to answer his question but as I did I felt lightheaded.

"Oh, shit"

"What, what's happening Sae?" Marie asked as he crouched near me with worry in his face.

Relief and dizziness were not a good mix.

Oh, this is stupid. "I'm going to faint.." And as I said this the dizziness took over and I remember nothing more.

Everything hurt. Every damn thing hurt.

That was the first thing that came through my mind when I was waking up.

I moved the rest of my body tentatively trying to get out from the hazy state I was in. It hurt when I moved but it was fading away to soreness only, I noticed.

I opened my eyes a bit, it was too bright but I willed them to get adjusted slowly.

I heard a few whispers, I didn't understand them.

When I finally could, I looked around taking in my surroundings. We were in the HQs infirmary. Oh, good.

I heard someone approaching.

"Finally awake, are we now?" The head nurse asked as she quickly checked me.

"What happened?" My voice was hoarse and my mouth was dry.

"Well, you were brought here passed out and supposedly with only a few broken ribs...Of course there was more, there's always more." Her tone was scolding.

She sighed at my risen eyebrow and explained."One of the broken ribs was puncturing one of your organs, you had an internal bleeding"

At my horrified look she quickly added. "It's okay now, you've just been sedated so the pain wouldn't drive you crazy"

"How...didn't I noticed?"

"Well, adrenaline I suppose, exorcists are all the same, always pushing harder, always not knowing that sometimes it does break instead of just bending, even though I always say this to them, exorcists don't listen!" She was ranting now. But it was all worry as we all knew, even if the head nurse wasn't exactly the maternal type.

I smiled "Thank you" She stopped the rant and looked at me after checking my eyes.

She gave me a barely there smile."Be more careful"

"How are the others?"

"Everyone's fine, only Krory and Miranda are still out. Miranda will wake up in a matter of days, Krory though...well, we'll see"

I nodded. I was relieved.

"Anything you want?" Head Nurse asked.

"Water..and food, I think"

"Of course" She turned to leave.

"Huh...when will I be able to walk?" I asked.

She turned to me. "Two, three days, depending on how fast it heals. Internal wounds are far more dangerous than the others" And with this she turned and left through the door.

Oh, man, two, three days? How am I going to survive that?

Moving my eyes away from the door were the head nurse had disappeared, my eyes found other two beds occupied, one of them with Miranda, seemingly sound asleep and the other one with Lenalee patiently waiting for my eyes to find hers and smiling happily.

I grinned back at her. There is the person that will help me survive through this.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

SIDESTORY – When in Spain, speak...

"General, please ask that man where could we find a place where we can make a phone call here."

"Me?"

"Yes..."

"Why?"

"Eh...because you're from Spain...so you know how to speak Spanish."

"...No I don't."

We stopped walking and looked at the General "What?" We asked all at once, looking at him with incredulous faces.

"I don't know how to speak Spanish. We're always speaking English so I forgot" He stated shrugging.

He just...

..forgot.

We groaned in unison.

Our General was too much.

Disclaimer 2 : I don't own the song 'In the Dark' by Josh Ritter.

Thank you very much for all the reviews and I'm sorry to those I didn't reply to, it's easy to loose count when your head is busy ^^

I won't promise chapter all weeks, not even all months, I can only work on this when life and inspiration allow me to, unfortunately =) And truth to be told, I'm not a writer, not even close, I'm just doing this for fun =D
For now I want to plan the plot of this story a little bit more carefully, because I want to stray a bit from the original story and I'll need time, of course =)

About last chapters of D. Gray-Man manga? I can't help it, I'm not happy with the series right now...it's too absurd. Let's see how it goes from now on.

Please review and let me know what you think!