"Have fun storming the castle!" the bearded elf said. Satoshi now knew him as Celegorm, master of the Thieves' Guild.
"Fun?" Satoshi asked.
"The castle of Elfheim has always been forbidden to all thieves of the Guild," Agent Luthien explained. "This will be one of the few times in our history that we have both the chance and the justification for stealing from the King's halls. We may be returning the chocobos after defeating the Dark Elves, true, but that still counts for something."
She smiled twistedly. "This will be quite enjoyable."
It had been decided that only those who would ride the chocobos would participate in the raid on the stables. The disturbance caused by the theft would not give them enough time to pass the birds to their intended riders otherwise, and in any case everyone else in the guild was needed to plan the uprising.
Satoshi knew that Sabin and Daewoo had gone to wait for him in a busy night market near the castle. Luthien led him up to the roof of the guild and told him how they were going to manage the rendezvous.
"Jump from roof to roof?" Satoshi gulped.
"Here," Luthien said, passing him a pair of shoes. "Trainees' boots, enchanted to lengthen your jumps. New apprentices at the Guild all wear them. We'll try and keep it to the shorter jumps all the same."
Satoshi thought he could detect more than just a little bit of condescension in that, but he was glad for the help anyway.
The elf eyed him for a moment. "You might like to tie that hat to your head. It'll go flying away otherwise."
Satoshi's Rarity-made top hat was collapsible, so he just stuck it with his original boots in his pack. Luthien then gave him an odd dull gray suit that was a bit baggy but had cinches around the neck, waist, wrists, and ankles. He put it on over his robe. Luthien slipped one on as well, then connected them with a long rope clipped to their belts. With that, they were ready to go.
The majority of the thieves currently at the Guild were now standing on the roof as well, similarly attired and preparing to depart en masse. It was Guild policy to orchestrate massive rooftop breakouts every few nights, both to keep the dark elves guessing and also simply to annoy them. Tonight, none of the elvish thieves happened to be decoys; messages had to go out to the entire city.
Crossbow bolts and a few spells zipped through the air as the assembled thieves sent the dark elf sentries on nearby roofs scrambling for cover.
"Go," Celegorm said from the stairway door.
Satoshi bounded over the roofs of Elfheim in silent terror, Luthien's long hair bright in the moonlight always ahead of him. More than once he missed or miscalculated a jump and Luthien yanked him back into position with the rope.
No dark elf patrols attempted to follow them. Not only were dark elves unused to rooftop travel, they had too many targets to choose from and the barrage of ranged attacks from the thieves remaining at the Guild was seriously discouraging.
They arrived at the night market without much incident. Luthien found a dark alley and climbed down into it, taking Satoshi with her. After stowing their thieves' gear, they found Sabin and Daewoo sitting at a food stall eating roasted apples.
"Who's your friend?" Sabin asked.
"Ally," Luthien corrected. "Your Satoshi's mission was successful. We go now to the castle to obtain chocobos for the four of us."
"Coming along, eh?" Daewoo said. "What can you do, girl?"
"You have met Sauber, finest thief in all the Guild. I am its second-finest," Luthien said. "I am no 'girl' either. He took me to wife thirty years ago."
"I would not have taken you for over twenty-five years of age," Daewoo marveled. "And married for thirty... elves! How old are you, truly-"
"No," Satoshi said. "Do not annoy our allies. We also must move immediately if we are not to miss Floe's arrival at Astos's castle."
He did not mention the fact that Luthien's husband was playing the role of prisoner or that Floe was probably- all right, definitely- having a little too much fun with the acting.
"To the stables," Luthien said. "We'll use the Perian Gambit."
"Which is?" Daewoo asked.
"Walk right in looking busy and important, then steal what you want in plain sight as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. In our case, that means strolling in, asking for chocobos, and riding out."
"Does that work, really?" Sabin asked.
The elf winked. "Every single time."
"You truly are the second-finest thief of the Guild," Daewoo marveled as their chocobos took them down the elvish royal highway at high speed. The night hid their journey.
The heist had gone perfectly; after disguising as minor courtiers, the four of them had simply walked into the stable, asked which birds were available with a carefully-chosen level of impatience, then mounted them and left through the main gate. With no dark elf presence in the chocobo stables, the stablehands were not likely to make too much a commotion over the theft once they saw it for what it was, and so Satoshi and the others weren't expecting immediate pursuit.
"As I said, the Gambit works every time," Luthien boasted. She kept her sharp elvish eyes to the road, using a lantern in her hand to follow the occasional dots of paint left behind by Floe.
Sabin reflected that he wanted to a way to possess his own chocobo someday. Even with the bird running at full speed, he was hardly bouncing up and down at all. A wonderfully smooth ride.
Meanwhile, Satoshi was fiddling with a small machine Twilight had left for him. It was covered with knobs and buttons and had a long thin metal rod wired to one side. He pointed the rod westward and waved it around until a voice came out.
"...next call comes from Ponyville. Here's one coming atcha, Cheerilee, from the DJ Pon-3 Request Hour! 'Workin' at the Cart Wash' by Sapphire Shores... alright, everypony, let's do The Navigator!"
The voice was replaced by eerie otherworldly music, an inhuman voice singing a nearly-incomprehensible paean to arcane ablutions. Satoshi frowned. The procedure, Twilight had told him, was first to confirm that signals from Equestria could be received from a repeater and directional antenna installed at the balloon. After that he could broadcast on a preset frequency where somepony'd be listening for him. Since they were using magi-boosted frequency modulation broadcasting technology... Satoshi could only remember so much of her explanation, and he still didn't even know what most of the words meant.
At least she'd also left operating instructions in a language he understood: flip the switch, press the button, speak, release the button, be spoken to. He flipped a switch labeled CHANNEL and the music stopped. He pressed a button labeled TRANSMIT. He spoke: "Hello?" He released the button.
After a minute, a stern voice he hadn't heard before came from the machine. "Identify."
"I am Satoshi. Who are you?"
"BE IT KNOWN that you speak to Luna of Equestria, of whom it is proclaimed that the night is hers, and all that it encompasses in its dark embrace!" the voice boomed.
There was an awkward pause.
"Did Twilight mention me?" 'Luna of Equestria' asked hopefully.
"Oh!" Satoshi realized. "You're one of the other two princesses. The, yes, the blue one? Good evening, your highness."
"Indeed! Well met, red mage Satoshi. I hope you all will know me as more than 'the blue one' in time... well, how are you? Is everything all right?"
"Your highness, we've found ourselves making an interesting detour. Could you spare some of your military officers to help in a rescue operation?"
"Hmm. I believe those of my subjects you have already met would be of great help themselves. Tell me, red mage Satoshi, have you ever heard the term 'airborne cavalry'...?
An old elvish king sat on a deteriorating throne in an ancient castle. Morning light streamed through gaps in the ruined walls, catching the dancing dust motes in its beams.
Floe and a dark elf escort entered the throne room. The dark elf bowed to the king and after a moment Floe followed suit.
"Greetings, mercenary," the king wheezed. "It is fortunate that you have come. My crown has gone missing, and I was hoping to have someone search for it."
"Your majesty," the dark elf said, "this mercenary already knows who you are. She is here to collect the bounty on Zest and Sauber. She also rescued one of our agents."
"Oh!" the king said. "Well, then, never mind!" His body shimmered, returning to the grotesque form of Astos the Dark Elf. Like all other dark elves, he was thin and gangly with a faint red glow in his eyes. A golden bangle encircled his right wrist, the dark elf badge of nobility.
"You've come so soon," Astos said. "We only issued that bounty a few days ago."
"I have good sources, your majesty," Floe said.
"Good sources and good ability," the king said. "I may hire you for that crown retrieval job after all."
He clapped his hands together. "Let's see the prisoners!"
Zest and Sauber, struggling against their chains, were dragged out into the throne room by a pair of guards. Their wrists were manacled behind their backs now, and heavier chains had been placed around their ankles.
"Yes," Astos gloated, "yes, you're mine now. I will demand ransom from your pitiful Thieves' Guild, and then I will reject any offer they make and execute you anyway! How do you like that?"
He looked upward, clenching his fist. "I will break the Guild, whether in its will or its elfpower, and then Elfland will be mine!"
"For as long as the prince sleeps," Sauber growls. "What of his awakening? Or death?"
"My spell ensures that he will sleep forever, yet never die," Astos gloated. "A regent will rule, and after him another, and another, and Elfland will be weak, and the dark elves will have control! From the shadows, this is true, but indeed the shadows are our realm. The light will slowly fade from your land as the prince sleeps on and our power grows more absolute. When we openly walk your streets unchallenged, then our vengeance against your kind will be complete!"
He took a moment to cackle. It, Floe had to admit, was a rather good cackle.
"You shall blindfold them and lock them in the dungeon," Astos ordered. "They will have no food or water for... the rest of the week, let us say. Only then will the lashings begin. For now, place them beneath my feet."
The guards, smiling, flung the two prisoners at the foot of the throne and departed. Astos put one foot on Zest's back and the other on Sauber's, pressing them against the floor.
He rubbed his hands together in glee, then looked aside at Floe. "You have no qualms about the treatment of your bounties?"
Floe shrugged, sounding almost bored. "Business is business. What happens after delivery doesn't concern me."
"I like that. I'm definitely offering you the crown contract," Astos decided.
"Flattered," Floe said.
"Payment, now," Astos said. "We honor our contracts. I am not ungenerous; you will receive one thousand additional gil for rescuing my agent. Do you have anything to say before I call my treasurer?"
There was a boom, as if of thunder.
"Your majesty," the dark elf said, "It may rain. There is a still a roof in the west hall that hasn't fallen down yet. Should we go there?"
Astos looked through one of the holes in the walls. "There aren't enough clouds in the sky. Will it really rain? Oh- perhaps the storm is already over. That is quite a rainbow."
Floe craned her neck. A seven-colored band had slashed its way in a great arc across the sky, its hues much richer than any she'd seen in a long time. She'd been told about using this as a signal. It could only mean one thing...
"Perhaps it's an omen of our victory over the elves," Astos joked.
While the king was admiring the sky, Floe took the chance to hammer her similarly-distracted dark elven escort to the ground. She then reached into her robes and tossed a small leather case at the feet of the king- at Sauber.
He caught it with his teeth and deftly flipped it open. A full set of lockpicks, lovingly polished and oiled, was in the case- his personal set which Floe had taken for safekeeping before he'd been searched by the dark elves. Using his decades of experience as a thief, he had himself and Zest out of their manacles in ten seconds. They surged up, tipping Astos off the throne.
Astos rose to his feet. "What treachery-"
"Special delivery!" someone shouted from far above them, and two crates fell through a hole in the roof and thudded to the ground next to Zest and Sauber. They burst open to reveal all the unusable armor and weapons the Warriors of Light had picked up at Mt. Gulg and elsewhere. Unusable to them- but not to thieves and warriors.
"Lucky we didn't resell those yet," Floe muttered.
She moved to cover the two of them as they hastily armored up, using her hammer to parry some tentative opening shots from the royal guards rushing into the throne room.
"Mythril!" Zest said appreciatively, adjusting his new axe and set of armor.
"You're welcome," Floe said.
"The Coral Sword?" Sauber said, hefting an unassuming blade they'd found while hunting the Lich.
"Don't break it," Floe said.
The royal guard finally fell into formation around their king. Long spears and mages' staves bristled from behind a shield wall. Dark elves might not have a sophisticated civilization, but they knew to loot and study every text on strategy the moment their agents reached the Elfheim royal library.
"Advance!" Astos cried.
Barrier spells flickered into view as the dark elvish mages supported their spear-wielding cohorts-
There was a flash and a earth-shaking roar, along with a shock wave that sent everyone sprawling. As they picked themselves up off the lichen-encrusted flagstones, they could see a rainbow hanging in the air almost solid, separating the dark elves from their opponents.
Five figures stood within the rainbow: Satoshi, Sabin, Daewoo, Luthien, and a lumpy-looking veiled woman in a purple robe.
Satoshi drew Icebrand and struck a heroic pose. "Lo, the Warriors of Light are here!" he cried. "With their Elflander allies and the mysterious Purple Mage!"
"Are the theatrics necessary?" Daewoo groaned quietly.
"You know Dashie insisted," the woman told him.
Floe moved to join her companions, and the 'Purple Mage' and Luthien fell back.
Luthien rummaged in her pockets and came out with a bagged lunch, which she handed to her husband with a peck on the cheek.
"Astos of the Dark Elves," Satoshi continued. "You are outmatched! Yield!"
"We don't fear any 'Warriors of Light'," Astos sneered. "Them or elves or strange women in purple. My people are made of stronger stuff than that. Forward!"
The dark elves charged.
The 'Purple Mage' thrust out a hand- or she must have, but the sleeves of her robe were too long to reveal it. A magenta halo gathered around her head.
A similar glow appeared around the dark elves' spears. They seemed to turn to rubber for a moment, sagging and bending, then solidified in their new contorted, useless shapes. As the spearmen tried to figure out what to do with them, the mages raised their hands.
Gouts of fire, lances of lightning, and shards of ice whirled across the battlefield in a magical storm. The spearmen's shields glowed magenta and flew out of their hands, taking up position in front of the purple mage and her allies to block the dark elves' spells. Sauber looked casual- not his kind of fight- and found a sandwich in his lunch bag.
"Ham again," he sighed. It seemed like his wife was upset that he'd let himself be captured.
"Many of you are mages," Astos observed. "You might know this spell that made me the king- instant death!"
He started to chant, wicked-sounding syllables spilling from his lips. His soldiers began to draw back, grinning nastily. Suddenly, the chanting stopped, even though the king's lips kept moving. He blinked, his mouth opening and closing, but still no sound came out.
"Why is everyone here so dependent on spoken spells?" the purple mage asked rhetorically.
She yelped as a dozen different fire spells shot at her simultaneously, heating her shield to a red-hot glow. She stumbled back. There was a loud snap and her left leg suddenly bent at an odd angle, sending her to the ground in an undignified heap. There was less bulk under the robe than had been previously suggested.
"Oh no, the stilts!" she said. "That's it. No more magic!"
With a great magenta coruscation, the entire ruined castle came under a strong silencing spell. All that could be heard was distant birdsong from outside. Astos and his mages found themselves unable to cast anything- but neither could Floe, Satoshi, and Daewoo.
The three Warriors of Light, looking at the feral grin on Sabin's face, stepped back. The monk joined up with Zest and Luthien. Sauber hastily wolfed down the remainder of his sandwich and stood beside them.
The purple mage had completely altered the nature of the battlefield. While the elvish partisans and their allies were now down to four usable fighters from a former eight, Astos's side was now composed of a company of disarmed spearmen, another of disarmed mages, and one silent king.
The brawl began. While the individual dark elves were inconsequential foes, in large militarily-organized groups they made stiff opposition.
With his new all-mythril ensemble, Zest strode forth into this opposition like a demigod. Finding it too time-consuming to use large swings of his axe, he settled for using the flat of the blade to swat the dark elves aside. For most of them, that one whack was enough to put them out of the fight, the occasional bone silently snapping.
While individual dark elves went flying, their comrades attempted to rush him en masse. He was eventually forced to his knees- the dark elves couldn't get through his armor, but they could hold him down.
"Go get them, boys and girls," a tiny voice said outside the radius of the silencing spell. Nobody heard it.
Sabin, Sauber, and Luthien were trying to fight their way through to help Zest when a flash of yellow caught their eyes. A group of four chocobos was rushing in from a side door, kicking up a huge cloud of dust. They plowed right through the rear of the dark elf formation, trampling King Astos before disappearing out the other side of the throne room.
"Yay," the unheard voice said.
As the woozy king sat up, the royal guard rushed to his aid, including those who had been subduing Zest. Sabin and Sauber helped the warrior to his feet.
The purple mage, still on the floor herself, saw an opportunity to give them all a breather. She reached out with her magic and tripped Astos just as he'd gotten up, sending him back down and prompting another flurry of distracted activity from his guards.
"A comedic pantomime," Daewoo mouthed to Satoshi.
Satoshi had no idea what he was trying to say.
The four melee fighters held a brief gestured conference, then turned to face the regrouping dark elves. Zest charged forward again.
Some of the dark elves Zest had injured looked like they wanted to rejoin the fight. Floe gave them a meaningful look and patted the head of her warhammer. The casualties decided to remain casualties.
The moment Zest reached the dark elf line, Sabin grabbed Sauber by the waist and hoisted him over his head.
Floe frowned. She'd heard of dwarf-tossing, which was a second-class misdemeanor back in the old country unless the tossing was done by other dwarves, but this was new...
Sabin hurled the elf over the melee, straight at King Astos. Sauber landed right in front of the king with a furious scowl.
Luthien was next to be thrown, and landed behind her husband. She drew two daggers and they instantly fell into a back-to-back formation. Sauber stepped forward and challenged the king while Luthien kept the royal guard off his back. She kept getting drawn further and further away from her husband, though, and would soon be cut off.
"One more time, please," the unheard voice said, and four chocobos carved through the battlefield again, running down the dark elves in front of Luthien. She stepped back toward her husband.
The battle settled down: Zest and Sabin harrying the dark elves from in front, Luthien from the rear, and Sauber dueling Astos. The king had a fine scimitar but was no swordsman; without his magic, he was having a difficult time. It was just as difficult though, the king's enemies found, to break the royal guard.
A sudden rainstorm that just happened to be the shape and size of the dark elf soldiers' formation changed that. Yelps of pain came from the dark elves as rain changed to hail. The purple mage looked up at the rapidly-shifting clouds in the sky and smiled.
When the rain cleared, the soaked and bruised dark elves saw Sauber kneeling on Astos's chest, pressing the Coral Sword against his neck. The elvish thief raised his right hand and snapped his fingers.
The purple mage saw him and lifted the silencing spell.
"You have one opportunity," Sauber said, "for a white peace, a return to our status from before the war. While you may have lands, treasures, and money, we don't want anything of yours. You may keep it and leave us on one condition."
"Wake your prince," Astos said reluctantly.
Sauber nodded. "Tell us the counterspell. You remain our hostage until His Royal Highness awakens, then we will release you."
"I have no counterspell," Astos said.
Sauber pressed down on the blade. "Think, your majesty. Think hard."
"O-only Matoya can wake him," Astos admitted. "I stole one of her spells to put the prince to sleep. She had an antidote, but I didn't steal that."
"The sorceress Matoya..." Sauber mused. "She has lately been unable to work, or so I hear."
"I also stole her crystal eye," Astos said with some pride.
"What, this?" Sauber asked, holding up a crystalline orb.
Astos's eyes bulged. "How-"
Sauber rolled his eyes. "You stole something very valuable and went and kept it in your shirt pocket. Amateur."
Astos's jaw dropped. "You dare pickpocket the king of the-"
"No member of the Thieves' Guild is a mere pickpocket. Behold!" Sauber held up a pair of socks- socks which the dark elvish king had just been wearing. Astos hadn't even noticed them leaving his feet, and somehow his shoes were still on.
"Enough showing off," Sauber said. "You will come with me to Elfheim as my guest while we await word from Matoya. Any last orders to your people before we leave?"
"Do you really expect us to just let you go?" one of the guards asked.
Sauber's eyes narrowed. "You are unarmed. I, on the other hand, I have your king's neck. I have your king's crystal. I have... your king's socks. I have the advantage, and I have control. Leave quietly or there will be... indemnities. You will be paying reparations for decades. Theft by treaty is also one of the Guild's specialties, you see."
"The ultimate technique!" Luthien gasped. "It's been years since the last time. Will you really use it on them?"
Sauber glared at the dark elves. "That is for them to decide, my darling."
The guard who had spoken up didn't say anything else.
"Wise of you."
The parting of ways took place, as was customary, on a hilltop. A column of smoke from about half a mile away marked the location of the ruined castle. With the cessation of hostilities, they had razed the old thing to prevent the dark elves from using it again.
"You're certain you won't return with us to Elfheim?" Sauber asked. He, Zest, Luthien, and a restrained Astos had mounted the four stolen chocobos and were about to return to the city. With the dark elvish king in chains, the partisan uprising in Elfheim was sure to succeed.
"The remainder of our journey takes us far away," Satoshi said. "It's best if we left as soon as possible, but we may return after our affairs are taken care of to see if you've regained your lands. Do please give the librarian our thanks for helping us with our search."
Sauber nodded reluctantly, then he and Zest saluted the Warriors of Light with the weapons which they had gifted them and rode off into the sunset.
"Who was that veiled woman?" they heard Sauber ask as they receded into the distance. "And why were her legs so... spindly?"
"I never did find out," his wife told him. "They bade me cover my eyes for a few things."
Once they were long gone, Satoshi clapped his hands once. "You can come out now."
Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy dropped out of a cloud overhead and landed in front of them.
"That was awesome!" Rainbow Dash shouted. "Princess Luna told us to grab some boxes and fly as fast as we could to deliver them to Satoshi at an old castle, so I thought it was just going to be chores. But then you guys had an elf fight!"
"I would not have described today's battle as an 'elf fight'..." Daewoo muttered.
"I think I'm going to use that disguise from now on," Twilight Sparkle said. "When I stand on stilts and wear a robe and veil, I look almost human. Okay, humanoid. But I need to make the stilts out of something other than wood. Too fragile. Oh, and Fluttershy? Good job with the chocobos."
"...thanks," Fluttershy said. "I'm so proud of them."
"You are like as unto one of the beastmasters of legend," Sabin said. "If you are never alone, you are never unarmed."
"That goes for everypony, really," Twilight observed. "We always stick together, and that gets things done."
"And now we must get one other thing done," Daewoo said. "Returning to the balloon."
Twilight sighed. She'd already used her magic to carry enough things and people today, but it seemed like it was time for one last flight, and this would be a long one.