Chapter Ten

Always and Forever

Surprisingly, Christine found it easy to adjust to life at Hogwarts. She made friends easily- everyone was warm and welcoming, and sympathized over her misfortunate life. Classes were a breeze- she was just as successful and intelligent at Hogwarts as she had previously been at Beauxbatons. Her favorite aspect of the school was the food- she found the English meals to be a great deal more appetizing and satisfying than the light, grotesque-looking, and even worse tasting so-called delicacy they served at her former school. She was quite satisfied with the fact that she would never have to eat escargot, or frogs' legs, or calves' brains ever again.

In fact, the only real problem she had was remembering where all her classes were, as Hogwarts was a great deal larger than Beauxbatons, and the staircases, classes, and hallways had the peculiar habit of either disappearing, relocating itself, or disguising itself to blend in with your surroundings. However- when there were so many people eager to help point out which direction she needed, who needed to know where they were going?

She had taken up to exploring the castle with her free time- another fascination. She found Hogwarts intriguing and extremely appealing to her inner adventuress- there was always the lingering sensation of magic and suspense, or a new secret to be discovered in every corner. She relished every discovery she made, and each mystery she delved into. She was highly amused by the suits of armor that would follow her down an empty hallway, trick doors, and the pictures that not only moved in and out of their frames, but spoke to her, too.

Currently her favorite painted character was the romantic and unorthodox Sir Cadogan, who- after the initial shock of their first meeting would shout proclamations of love and enditement. "A lady so lovely must have been created by the sweetest dreams of angels." He had once shouted. Yet, despite the amusement she found in Sir Cadogan's eccentricities, she found it odd to be complimented on her own good-looks. After all- it wasn't Christine he saw, but some magnificent illusion concocted by her own imagination.

However, being a Hogwarts student did have it's downsides as well. She saw Draco daily in potions and transfiguration, as well as in the hallways between classes and during mealtimes. On a few occasions, Draco had levitated a note to her in the classes, and Crabbe and Goyle were always waving and winking at her. It was distracting and dangerous of revealing her disguise.

One afternoon, she sat beside Hermione at their table in potions, opposite Harry and Ron, waiting for their potion to be graded. After months preparation and hard work, the class was finishing up their latest project- the Polyjuice Potion. Obviously, due to their prior experience with making the potion, they had finished within the first hour of the class, and Slughorn, with his head bowed somberly, moving almost robotically, was deliberately procrastinating visiting their table, weary and fearful.

From what she had heard of Slughorn's reputation, Christine was seriously disappointed with his public display of himself. She had been expecting someone strong-willed, powerful, and confident; not a quivering, anxious, fat old has-been. This was supposed to be Dumbledore's talented friend, the person who had avoided the Death Eaters for so long? The genius, the Potions/ DADA prodigy?

What a shame, she thought, and shivered slightly as an unwanted thought settled into her mind. Who are you to judge him? At least he did some good in his life. I'm too weak to resist the Dark Lord, I always have been. And here I am, supposedly plotting the death of the one and only person that could possibly help me escape his tyranny forever. Shuddering, she quickly smothered the idea. Why should the sweet, innocent new transfer student look scared or guilty?

Christine glanced nervously over Harry's shoulder toward the back of the room where the Slytherin's normally sat. Crabbe and Goyle oddly out of place without their smug, arrogant ring-leader seated between them. Draco hadn't arrived for class and he still hadn't returned, and it made her edgy and nervous. It wasn't like him to skip potion's- after all, it was his best and favorite subject. What was he up to now?

Christine was pulled out of her silent reverie as Slughorn approached their table, the trademark, jovial bounce in his step missing. He peered down at the contents of their perfected potion and risked a small, sad smile, winking his approval at them. At least they haven't completely wasted him yet, Christine thought. "Excellent work my dears- then again, I expected nothing less."

She offered him a small smile but it quickly disappeared as the atmosphere in the room became uncharacteristically quiet and icy. "Shannon Brody," Came Draco's cool, possessive drawl. Slughorn started at the sound of Malfoy's voice and fled- with good reason- to take his seat behind his desk. Draco was the head of the student disciplinary squad, a group of vicious, strict seventh-year Slytherins hand-selected Headmaster Snape himself to seek out and punish wrong-doers and spy on the teachers.

With a cocky smirk, he unrolled a letter from Snape with a quick snap, holding it up just long enough for everyone to see before rolling it back up and strutting to Christine's table, and outstretching his arm, waiting for her to stand up and take it.

Christine stared blankly at him for a few moments, unsure of what to do, before glancing nervously around the table at her friends: Ron was gritting his teeth so hard it seemed his jaw would freeze in that position; Harry's hand gripped the side of the table so hard his knuckles were white, as his other twitched instinctively toward his pocket; Hermione looked alarmed and apprehensive, fiddling nervously with a stand of her hair.

"What is it?" Christine asked, uncertainly, trying to sound anxious and bewildered. "What is it you want?"

"The Headmaster demands your presence immediately- he needs to discuss information regarding your previous school and important details involving the Weasley's adoption of you. " Draco said, his tone kept impressively flat and business-like, but his eyes burned into her own with meaningful intensity and passion, a flirtatious glimmer in his eyes just readable- obviously he had not given up on her yet. She blushed visibly, scowling- she felt as though he were undressing her with his eyes.

She glanced pleadingly at her friends before pushing her chair back and standing up, stooping to grab her back-pack and gather books and cauldron, but Draco caught her by the wrist. Smiling somewhat vindictively, as if enjoying the power he controlled her with, he said, "You can leave those there- you won't be returning to your classes today and therefore have no need for them- you're mud-wallowers can take care of them for you."

Christine glared defiantly at Malfoy's undermining racial slur and everyone- seldom the Slytherins', who scoffed and snickered at her dumb audacity- watched wide-eyed in shock, on bated breath, waiting for Malfoy to retaliate. However he said nothing, wrapping a casual arm around her waist, escorting her out of the room.

"Miss Brody is excused from her classes for the day, Slughorn; do well to inform her other teachers." Draco called dismissively over his shoulder.

When they had reached the entrance hall and were out of ear-shot, Draco seemed to relax a little, softening his grip around her waist and resonating a more calm energy. "You can let go of me now, you. I know how to walk."

"I know, Miss Brody." Draco answered sarcastically, but the charming grin he wore played down the attitude considerably. "Did it ever occur to you that I take pleasure and comfort in having contact with you?"

"But- Draco, you know how I feel-" She said falteringly, not liking the way her voice made her sound so uncertain and vulnerable. So far, he was making it really hard for her to hate him. He made her feel so guilty all the time for the way she had been treating him, and it wasn't helpful. "You know we can't… that I can't be with you, you know that." She said lamely.

"Are you sure that it's not because you don't want to be with me? Don't think that I'm stupid or blind, because I am not. I see the way you look at Potter." His tone suddenly became cracked with anxiety. "You really like him, don't you?"

"I…" She started to respond, but then she realized she did not know what to say. She didn't know. She knew no more about her feelings for Harry than she did about Draco. Just like she didn't know whether her skin blushed and heated from anger or love whenever Draco touched her lately.

She was so confused about everything recently, she was even confused about herself. She was like two people: with Harry, Hermione, and the Weasley's, she was moral, innocent Shannon Brody, the sweet façade that he was in love with Draco she felt more like herself- confident, self-sufficient, and powerful- more true to her colors… more like Christine.

"Harry is nice enough…" She responded neutrally, freezing slightly as she felt Draco lace his fingers with her own. They had come to a complete stop now in the middle of a fleet of stairs on the great staircase.

"Harry…" Draco's voice was almost a whisper as he spoke. "So you call him by his first name even when he's not around; does that mean that you two are together?"

Christine replied softly and very slow, forcing herself to hold eye contact with his searching pleading gaze. "Draco, it's my job. It's professional- that's all."

"So, where does that leave us?" He asked, his steely grey eyes softening to a considerably more gentle shade and her stomach plunged.

"I don't know," She replied meekly, lowering her gaze, grateful for the small distraction as their staircase settled onto the floor that she assumed the Headmasters' office must reside.

"His office is just down this hallway." Draco said lamely and Christine could hear the pain and the hope in his voice. She was glad for the change of subject- it gave her time to calm down and collect her thoughts- or rather, her emotions. When they reached the two stone gargoyles that flanked the entrance, Draco supplied the password and they ascended the spiraling steps. When they reached the top landing of the doors were flung wide open and Snape was already waiting for them to arrive behind his desk, engaged in a conversation with Fenrir Greyback, Crabbe's father, and Lucius Malfoy.

Snape looked up as they entered with a cool impassive expression, indicating the two seats in front of his desk that they were to take. "You are dismissed." Snape said to the assembled Death Eaters. She exchanged a warm smile with Draco's father, a polite wave for Crabbe Sr., and a diminishing glare for Fenrir whom she had never liked but whom had always displayed a rather inappropriate and carnal interest in her, before they disapparated.

Once the Death Eaters had left, Snape was able to drop his act and collapsed wearily against the back of his chair, slumping. Christine smiled sympathetically as she moved forward to embrace the man who had been much like an uncle to her while growing up.

"Oh, you poor thing!" Christine exclaimed pityingly, as he briefly returned the greeting, weary as ever that anyone or anything could be eavesdropping. "What have they done to you? You look so tired and sick- are you okay?"

"The Lord believes that we have been too lenient with our students and their punishments. He fears he might be losing me and decided that I needed a reminder of who I belong to." Snape said, slightly shaken, as he closed his eyes wearily.

"What did he do to you? What did you say? Did he hurt you?" Christine launched into a million questions but he raised a hand to silence her before they even escaped her mouth, gesturing to the chair again and she reluctantly sat down, crossing her legs nervously.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. That's not why I have summoned you here." Snape said soberly. "How is the situation, so far? No one suspects you of anything, do they?"

"How could they? Everyone looks at me and sees someone else's face- all they know of Shannon Brody is what you have told them about her at the start-of-term feast." Christine said uncomfortably. "Everyone in Gryffindor is very… welcoming, and Harry has been very understanding and generous- at times too much so. The only area of improvement really is Ginny, but she's not exactly a problem- just an annoyance. I can tell that she wants to trust me, but she hates me too… because of Harry, of course."

"Have you found out anything new or important… any progress at all?" She could feel Draco watching her, waiting for her response.

"Harry trusts me, he's very open and seems to be attracted to me… or rather Shannon, or whoever it is I am these days." Christine said, her eyebrows knitting together in frustration.

"Is something wrong?" Snape asked in concern.

"I just don't think I can do this anymore, nor do I want to. They really care about me and all I've done is lie to them about everything. I have to kill Harry- it's just not right… it's not fair."

"Chrissy, who ever told you that life is fair? Do you think it fair to be in your position? Was it fair for your parents and all those people to die? Life is not about what is right or fair- it's survival. This is what we need to survive. This is what you need to do to survive. If your roles were reversed, hew would do the same thing. You have to be strong Christine, it's the only way you'll live."

"Give in to your instincts for survival. Do whatever to succeed, I know you can do this. I know it is hard for you to be anything but yourself, but you must. Think of yourself- your wants, your needs- to motivate you. Remember me, remember Draco, Narcissa and Lucias, and your mother and father- we are your family. We love you. Draco is the best thing for you- concentrate on the love and life you decided with him so long ago- he needs you, he loves you."

All the time Snape had been speaking, Draco had remained vacant, slumped in his seat, staring at the ceiling, his expression torn and pained. She felt his hand reaching for her and before she knew what she was doing, she grasped it, holding it between her two hands. She felt guilty and dirty. Why had she neglected Draco, why had she lost faith in him? By now she was overwhelmed, crying. I do love him, She thought spitefully, I love Draco and I like Harry- I shouldn't like him, though- I can't.

"Just remember, we are all we have now. This may not be the life we wanted, but we're alive and together, and that's all that counts." Snape said. "I'm sorry you have to do this. I wish we could speak longer, but I have to discuss some important matters with the Dark Lord. I'll try to arrange another meeting for us, but one that's more discreet, of course. Until then, farewell."

After they descended the stairs, Draco stopped Christine in the hallway. He seized her hands in his own, kissing them and holding them to his face. "Christine… Christine…" He moaned desperately, eyes glazing with unshed tears. "Chris, please don't give up on me yet. Will you meet me? I know you don't want to, but just for a while, after dinner? Please, I promise, I'll try to be better. I just really need to be with you now."

"When?" She replied quietly, her voice soft and strained from crying.

"Meet me beneath the great tree in the courtyard, at eight. I'll be waiting there." He said, his face lighting up with the new prospect of hope.

"What will I tell everyone?" She asked.

"Just say that you have detention or something."

"Detention? For what?"

"Doesn't matter- there is no cause or reason for anything that happens in this world anymore…"

And with that, he encircled her in his arms, holding her for a few minutes, before quickly kissing her and bidding her farewell. As he walked down the hallway, there was a new spring in his step full of the promise of love and hope.

~*~ LATER THAT EVENING~*~

"He did what?!" Harry, Ron, and Hermione's exclamations of fury and disbelief couldn't be more evident as Christine wound her long, shiny, sleek golden hair into a bun and pinned it together with her wand. Christine glanced anxiously down at her watch. It read seven-thirty- she had to get going.

"He gave me detention." Christine said, ashamed at how easily she could lie to them. "Apparently, he disapproves of my rebellious attitude and lack of disrespect for the head of the disciplinary squad.

"Ridiculous- that's not worthy of a detention." Hermione scoffed indignantly.

"That's hardly the point- there is no reason for detention at Hogwarts anymore." Christine said quietly, reaching for her cloak. "I've got to go now- I'm supposed to meet him in the dungeons- he needs some fresh ingredients for some potions he is making."

"Are you sure you don't want one of us to accompany you? We could use Harry's cloak…" Hermione offered, hugging Hermione at the entrance to the Fat Lady's portrait.

"No." Christine objected, shaking her head sullenly. "I've grown up in Snape's company- you wouldn't believe how intuitive he can be, the powers he possesses… he'd sniff you out like a dog. I must go alone- I can't risk putting you guys in danger…"

"We'll wait up for you." Harry promised, seizing her hand and kissing her briefly, but affectionately at the corner of her lips.

"I'll be counting the minutes…" Christine replied with a small smile and he returned it slowly, unable to smother the odd feeling that something wasn't right. "I must go now, truly- goodbye."

Christine exited through the portrait hole, clutching the after-hours hallway pass Snape had supplied her with earlier that afternoon and began making her way through the castle She moved at a moderate pace as she crossed to the end of the seventh-floor corridor and began to descend the great staircase, pausing every few minutes when the staircase would move and then another would settle into place. There was no need for her to hurry- despite her petite, delicate stature, she could walk quite fast and she ran even quicker.

When she reached the entrance hall her breath picked up its pace- the courtyard was only a ten minute walk from there on.

She arrived at the courtyard only five minutes late despite her swiftness. Confused, she stared blankly at the empty bench beneath the large maple tree where Draco was supposed to meet her. She stood there for another moment before she nearly jumped in shock as someone gently laced their fingers in her own.

"Shh… relax, it's just me." Draco's soft low voice whispered gently in her ear and she calmed down as he spoke. "I didn't mean to frighten you- I was getting us some snacks."

"It's alright- I just thought you were… someone else." Christine breathed out loud in relief. She allowed Draco to pull her over to the bench and hold her against his chest. It felt natural for him to hold her like this, normal… good.

"Someone else? Well, who would I be? All the seventh-year Slytherin's know about us, except for Crabbe and Goyle, of course. The Gryffindor's don't suspect a thing.." Draco's cheerful tone died down slightly as he took in Christine's worried expression, and he continued speaking in a quiet, more serious voice. "You're worried about him, aren't you… the Dark lord?"

Christine's voice came out in a broken whisper and she sobbed, hating- as always- how vulnerable it made her feel to cry, and how she was so comforted in Draco's presence that she couldn't hold back her tears. "He- he's very angry with me right now. I'm not working hard enough- I don't have enough information."

"Now you listen, Christine, and listen up good, you hear?" Draco said seriously, wiping her tears away with his thumb and gazing down at her in warmth and affection. "He won't kill you- he wont' harm you, I swear. He needs you- more than any of the others; more than me, more than Severus. And I would never let anyone- not even him- hurt you. I would die before I let anything harm you."

"Draco don't say that- I'm horrible- and you mean far too much to me." Christine sobbed pathetically into his neck. "Do you really think I'd be happier alive, knowing that I was the reason for your death?"

Draco thought silently for a moment before replying with a warming grin. "Okay. Then we'll give Romeo and Juliet a run for their money and die together before anyone has the chance to do us off."

Through her tears, Christine couldn't suppress a giggle. "Everything always has to be so morbid with our kind, doesn't it? Tell me are all Slytherins- like Death Eaters- so woebegone and malicious? We truly are a motley crew aren't we?"

"It wasn't always like that, though, remember?" Draco said serenely, kissing her softly on the lips and for the first in a very long time, she did not refuse or recoil away from him. "Remember that summer our families spent together in Scotland when we were nine? The one when we swore to be best friends for the rest of our lives and promised that not only would we not end up like our parents, but we would we better."

Christine smirked- she remembered that summer alright. She had had to take an anti-bacterial potion that was about as appetizing as the food served at Beauxbatons for three days. "You mean the one where we made that blood oath and I got a nasty infection on my thumb?"

"Yeah, that one." Draco laughed. "I wish that that was the worst that things could get for us now- that everything could be that simple."

"Growing up is never simple," Christine replied.

"So…" Draco yawned tiredly, leaning his back against the maple trees' wide trunk and pulled Christine closer to his chest, twirling a strand of her silky, recently-straightened hair between two fingers. "What's with the new get-up?"

"You mean the hair?" Christine responded, a small frown appearing on her face as she touched her smooth locks as well. "Keeping up appearances- my alias has straight hair. It would be odd if someone were to touch my hair and feel my curls rather than Shannon's smooth, straight hair.

"It looks nice on you." Draco said sweetly into her hair and kissing the nape of her neck, sending a shock of cool apprehension down her spine. "Of course, I like your curls better- they were much more elegant and fun to play with."

"You mean pull?" Christine teased, smirking.

"No, I mean it- I'm serious… about everything. Which reminds me…" Draco reached into one of his pockets and removed two fortune cookies.

Christine observed them in confusion, dumbfounded. "So… fortune cookies remind you about being serious?" She raised an inquisitive eyebrow as he handed her one.

"Oh, you know how I love those ancient Chinese proverbs and superstitions." He answered half-jokingly, smiling. "Go on- open it."

"Aren't you going to read yours?" Christine asked suspiciously as she began un-wrapping her fortune cookie.

"No. I'm pretty sure about what's in store or me in the future… I hope." Draco replied.

There was a soft but audible crack as Christine opened her fortune cookie, and he watched patiently¸ waiting for her response quietly, smiling all the while.

How odd, Christine thought internally. My fortune is folded into the shape of a… a ring.

As realization hit her, she hastily unwrapped the fortune paper, until finally, she had unraveled a beautiful gold ring with a large heart-shaped diamond. The rest of the outer-rim of the band, too, was set with diamonds, and- she had to light her wand to read it- the inside was engraved in elegant cursive "My reason and my life; My love always and forever." An engagement ring.

"I love you more than my own life Christine. I love and want everything about you- your smile, your laugh, your kisses, your heart, your mind and your body…" Draco said gazing intently into her eyes as he slid the ring onto her finger. "… Your hand, and to be with you always."

"Draco, we're only seventeen!" Christine gasped, still unable to get over the shock.

"No- you are. I am eighteen, and I've loved you for as long as I've known you, which is my whole life. You're the only good thing I have in my life right now and I know you feel the same way, but you're scared- I can see it in your eyes. I am, too, but we can do this, I know we can. As long as we still love and trust one another."

"But, how can you be so sure? We've only dated just each other. And what if-" Christine tried to reason.

"Because-" Draco said, placing Christine's wedding hand over his heart and her other against his cheek. He leaned down and kissed her with passionate affection, and she succumbed to the power and love that they shared, kissing him back. She could feel the warmth of his skin and the rapid, hard pumping of his heart beneath her hands, as her own raced in her chest. "Because I have always loved you- my heart beats solely so I can be with you."

"What if the Dark Lord finds out?" Christine breathed, her head spinning.

"I already have his majesties' blessing so long as we don't let out relationship get in the way of the assignment. Do you love me?"

"Yes, of course I love you. You know that- would I have bothered coming if I didn't?"

"Then will you- Christine Marie de Bernaise- save my life and give me the honor of marrying you?"

"Yes." Christine said, and when she spoke the words she realized she really meant. Draco enveloped her in his arms in the surrounding darkness as they sealed the deal with yet another kiss…

~*~

When Christine finally returned to Gryffindor tower, it was in great relief. She looked rather worse for wear- her hair tangled and disheveled, weary-eyed, and rumple-clothed. She would have no trouble feigning exhaustion if Ron, Harry, or Hermione had stayed up to be sure of her safe return; her meeting with Draco- although relieving and pleasant (for the most part) had been a great emotional and physical toll, and it left her sore and exhausted.

It was well past midnight as Christine crept slowly into the common room, careful to make as little noise as possible so as not to awaken or disturb anyone. The room was silent and empty, dimly lit by the dying flames in the fireplace, but she did not allow herself to get hopeful of an easy escape yet- there was a good chance Hermione was reading in the dorm as she waited for Christine to return.

She made it half-way across the room before a low groan made her stop dead in her tracks. As her eyes swept the area that the noise had come from they settled on a large heap of blankets on the futon in the corner, which was pulled out for the first time she could remember.

"No! Don't hurt her!"

Christine's eyes widened in alarm as she recognized Harry's voice. She tried to tread carefully as she hurried toward him. Harry made another cry of panic in his sleep, convulsing beneath the ocean of sheets, and the fire suddenly extinguished as if a large gust of wind had blown it out, plunging the room into complete darkness, which was only punctuated by the moonlight streaming through the window behind Harry. She became alert as the air in the common room grew thick and heavy with a powerful surge of magic and she procured her wand, rushing to his side.

She seized Harry's hand- slick with sweat- and tried to wake him. He remained unresponsive as he cried softly, tears streaming down his anguished face. "No, Mum! Mum!"

"Harry! Harry!" Christine cried in alarm, shaking him slightly. "Harry, please wake up! You're scaring me! Harry!"

With a gasp of shock, Harry awoke, panting heavily as he grasped Christine tightly by the neck, intending to throttle her and roughly squeeze the air from her lungs. It wasn't long- only a matter of minutes- before her eyes began to water and she made strained, choking sounds, pulling at Harry's hands with her own. Finally, his eyes focused on her face and he released her neck pulling her to his chest, Christine coughed and sucked in a lungful of air. She shivered slightly in fear as Harry cradled her head- it had never occurred to Christine that Harry could be dangerous- that she would have to be cautious for her safety around him. "Christine!" He gasped, frantically. "Oh, my God, what have I done? Christine, I'm so sorry."

"I'm fine, I'm fine." Christine said quietly, brushing his hair back, trying to comfort him. "Are you alright? You don't look so good- maybe I should walk you to the Hospital wing…"

"No." Harry objected, pulling her gently onto the futon and into his arms. "Please. Let's- Let's just stay here. Stay with me."

Still anxious, but too exhausted to object, Christine quickly removed her cloak and tossed it onto the floor beside her. She rested her head on his chest and she felt him grope for her wrist, allowing him to hold it. She listened as the sound of his racing heart slow and his breathing calm, feeling the weight of the day taking it's toll on her as she counted the number of his heart beats until she fell asleep beside him.

One hundred and one…

One hundred and two…

One hundred and three…