Disclaimer: Naruto and characters associated to this manga are creations of Masashi Kishimoto. This story and other ideas not associated with Naruto are mine, unless otherwise disclaimed. This fanfiction is written for entertainment purposes only.

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Challenge 24: Icha Icha Paradise (day 15)

Dear… God.

NO!

Naruto desperately leaped over a clay rooftop landing on another a moment later. His feet soundlessly landed on the surface as he continued dashing for his dear life.

God, please, please, please, please, PLEASE make him go away!

"N~aruto!" sang a deep voice from the ANBU's left side.

"GO AWAY!" shouted the blond as he continued his mad dash to someplace safe…

And the only place he could think of was Tsunade's office in the hospital.

Surely, she could save him from this—OOPH!

His body fell from a three-storey roof as if in slow motion. His body turned, and he saw a mane of white hair.

With the wind knocked out of his lungs, his back slamming into the dirt ground, the jinchuuriki inhaled deeply before coughing in spasms. And then he had the wind knocked out of him, AGAIN, as a big butt rested on his stomach… not the most glorious way for someone to land on him, especially when that butt belonged to the one and only super pervert of Konohagakure.

"E-ero…sennin," hissed Naruto desperately trying to push the aged ninja from his air-deprived body. "S-suff-focation!" he gasped out.

"Eh?" He looked down. His mouth widened into a huge grin.

"Hey Naruto!" his bulky fingers gripped the skin on his Godson's cheek. "You thought I wouldn't hear about the news, did ja?"

"W-wishful think-ing," muttered Naruto gasping for breath, "G-get off of ME!"

The older man smirked, his hand ruffling the blond's hair, "Wouldn't want you running off again, now would I?"

"Can't… breathe…"

Sitting there, Jiraiya released a contented sigh and casually rested his arms over his bent knees. "Such a beautiful day, ain't it Naruto?"

"…"

"The sun is shining so brightly, the birds are singing, Tsunade hasn't pummeled me to kingdom come." He deeply breathed in the crisp cool air as a breeze passed by. "Yep! This is the life! Especially for you—a perfect time for you to be getting married and make lots of love to your special someone." He paused trying to think of a way to tactfully present his request. "By the way…"

Looking down to the almost blue Naruto, his grin shifted into one of the looks he gave at the hot springs when spying on bathing women, "Since you're getting hitched and stuff… could you, you know, give me ideas for my next Icha Icha Paradise book? I swear I won't put you or the Hyuga's girl name in it… but I would appreciate to hear the stories of how you two made sweet, sweet love after—"

POW!

Jiraiya's body shattered a rock wall to pieces. His body continued to fly through the air and into the south ANBU watchtower.

Naruto stomped away furiously.

One would only question in their mind why his punches imitated the power of the feared sannin, Tsunade, and her brilliant apprentice, Sakura.