Hey guys. So some people have asked me if this is a crack fic. Hmm. Let me ask Issy. "Issy, is this a crack fic?" Issy can't answer me, she's too busy ingesting crack in our hideout behind Safeway... I mean, no! We're not... oh, who really gives a crap? Sigh.
Henna jumped into the driver's seat, and Loki got into the passenger. Everyone else jumped in... well, except for Tony and Annabeth, who had flew back down and were slow dancing on the destroyed ballroom floor.
Percy got up... and punched Stark in the face.
Henna started cheering.
"What the heck?!" Tony demanded.
"Annabeth's my girlfriend!" Percy seethed.
"Yeah, you have Pepper Potts," Henna said, even though she was enjoying their fight.
"Pepper is too busines-like for me," Tony said. The he looked around. "Where'd Issy go?"
"Somewhere," Kat said.
"Over the rainbow!" Squealed Natasha Romanoff. Then she and Clint Barton started singing the song.
"Somewhere over the rainbow, way up high
There's a land that I've heard of once in a lullaby
Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue,
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do-"
"Shut it," snapped Bruce Banner. "Or I'll Hulk all of you."
Natasha and Clint stopped singing, but kept chanting lines like, "I'll get you, my Issy, and you're little dragon, too!" and "Toto, who knew Kansas was a trashed ballroom?"
"Oo-kaaayyy," Kat said, taking a step backwards from them, which was amazing considering they were in the Batmobile. "Guys, we need a plan."
"Um... Why?" Draco asked, confused.
Henna face-palmed.
Kat rolled her eyes. "We're at war, smarty pants. And Issy just broke the ruled of the Yule Ball."
Tears formed in Malfoy's eyes. "Noooo! The Yule Ball's ruined!"
"Be a man, Draco!" Carter Kane urged. "Well, as much a man as you can be. Let's settle for strong woman."
Malfoy dissolved into tears. "No! Only my father's a woman!"
"Look, Leo, Stark, Percy, and A-Beth, get your demigodly (and iron) butts into the Batmobile NOW!" Henna shouted.
"Not so fast!" North jumped down from the crystal chandelier. Well, actually, it broke under his weight and collapsed to the ground.
"Gods, can't we get a break?!" Kat cried, throwing her hands up in the air in exasperation.
"No, I think I made that pret-ty clear," North said, putting his hands on his hips. Then his eyes nearly popped out of his head. "Holy Bunny!"
"What the heck?" Zia muttered.
"You're alive!" He exclaimed, staring at Jack in shock.
"Because I'm amazing," Jack said, quoting one of Kat's famous lines.
"No, you're not," North whined. "Only I'm amazing!"
"Um, who single-handedly defeated Pitch Black?"
"Only because you had the snot-nosed kid Jamie on your side!"
"But he didn't even do anything! He said 'I know what we have to do!' and then he and the rest of the kids ran offstage and did nothing!" Jack exclaimed.
"They got hot chocolate and threw it on all of Pitch's minions after the filming," North explained.
Jack frowned. "They did?"
North nodded solemnly.
"Well, then." Jack hung his head and walked back over to the Batmobile.
"Aw, poor baby," Henna said mockingly.
Bruce frowned at Santa. "Where's Issy, old man?" He demanded.
North shrugged. "I dunno. She never tells me anything. I don't think she likes me much." He looked dissapointed.
"Of course Issy likes you!" Kat said, shocked. "You're Santa Claus! Issy loves Santa Claus!"
He brightened at her words. "Issy's in Tartarus!" he said with a huge smile, skipping off singing "Skippety doo da, skippety-ay. My, oh my, what a wonderful day!"
Now Kat had another person to be wary of. She hated people randomly bursting into song.
That's why she wanted to kill Zeffron. (Zack Effron)
"Why the Dumbly-Door would Issy be in tartur sauce?" Draco wondered aloud.
Percy face-palmed. "Gods, Malfoy! It's called Tartar-US!"
Draco frowned. "Tartur us? Well, okay." He pulled out a squeeze bottle of tartur sauce and began coating himself with it. Just as he was about to squirt Leo, Henna snatched up the bottle and began stabbing it.
"Stupid tartur sauce!" She shrieked as the knives made many holes in the plastic. "You disgust me!"
Loki raised an eyebrow and looked at Steve oddly. "Is she always like this?" He asked.
Steve shrugged, so Tony answered instead. "She hates tartur sauce," he said. "Bad experience with it as a child. Some dude loaded it into a squirt gun and shot her." He coughed, clearly meaning that dude had been him.
Steve closed his eyes, trying to picture Tony Stark as a child. The image was so ridiculous he immediately started cracking up.
Picture a baby's body with the billionare's face. Then give him giant blue anime eyes.
Baby Stark.
Henna stepped back, clearly satisfied that the tartur sauce was dead. (Yay Death! X3)
Percy scowled. "Awww! I don't wanna go to Tartarus!" he stomped his foot like a little kid. "Annie and I were just there! It sucks!"
"Annie?" Jack looked up from his miny pity party.
"Annabeth," Kat explained.
The blonde girl mentioned looked up. "Hmm?" She asked, her eyes wide.
"I think I know what's going on," Henna said triumphantly. She started slapping Annabeth in the face. "Damn Kronos! Leave Annie alone!"
Annabeth began crying. "You're mean, Henna!" She sobbed. "I just wanted to see what would happen if I became i good guy!"
A golden light flew out of her mouth and Kronos's ghost was gone.
"Holy crap, did I just make out with Iron Man?!" Annabeth Chase, now completely un-possessed, demanded.
"Yes." Percy said, making a face.
"EWWWWW!" She squealed, jumping into Percy's arms, crying.
Stark looked hurt.
"Okay, back on topic," Kat said, scowling at everyone except for The ones that hadn't spoken. (So, mainly, just not Carter and Zia.)
"Kronos is our topic," Leo interrupted.
Kat sighed in exasperation. "Guys, we all know he's gay, so shut up already!" When everyone did, she continued. "We need to get to Tartarus... but how?"
"I KNOW HOW!"
There was a crash and the amazing SUPERMAN stood before them.
"Holy crap," muttered Jack.
Yay! Review or die, EARTHLINGS! im serious i will come to ur house in the middle of the night with a knife and kill u in ur sleep if u dont review or pm me