Mission: The Wayward Princess
At home...
'Leaving tomorrow at 6 am sharp eh?' Naruko muttered, as she has had her platoon make savory filled-bread and energy bars out of food processors, and packed them in plastic cling-wraps.
'Yo!' Kakashi greeted. 'Are they done?'
'Yah. Here. Stuff em' in sealing scrolls. They cost 50000 by the way.' Naruko told him and Kakashi paid up with five pieces of 10000 ryo bills.
'You know you can make a business out of this you know.' he pointed out. This was also loads cheaper AND much tastier than the shit sold in Shinobi Stores. Energy Bars sold there as well as Food Pills taste like shit but so expensive too...
Sure, she used some traditional goods from Nanakusa Island, but she never used the stimulants that made the flavors in Food Pills and Energy Bars PAINFUL to eat. So as a result, her goods as half-effective with no side-effects like the ones sold in stores, but at least, delicious and actually barely-filling, unlike generic pills and energy bars which was worse than air in the stomach after a bad aftertaste in the mouth. And since she has no molds, she could not make pills. So she just made bars with improvised molds out of the ones in her pantry.
Well, at least he knows where to spend his money on now. He just needs to learn when to plan in advance. Ohhh this is gonna be one of his best financial secrets.
'Like I told the Gate dudes, adding this to my schedule WILL kill me by frying my brain.' Naruko scoffed. 'Drawing and writing plot lines are more mentally-stressful than you think.'
'Izzat so?'
'Try doing it sometime.' Naruko snorted with a huff. 'The only reason I haven't had white hair at my age yet is due to what I am. Normal humans in my work would have had white patches and signs of aging by stress by now.'
'Well...you made a point.' Kakashi stated numbly, sealing his food supplies in a scroll.
'Eat wisely cuz they last for a month!'
'Yes yes!' and Kakashi left.
'Well, one batch down...a couple more to go.' she mused at her working clones.
xxx
Five-to-Six...that early morning...
Naruko arrived at the gates to meet her team.
Dressed like a civilian, in a sleeveless, bright-yellow empire-waist dress with white lace and red ribbon accents that ended mid-thigh, and an orange ankle-strap shoes with inch-heels. She also has red glass bracelets on her left wrist and she only has a shoulder bag. Her hair was not in its usual hairstyle. This time, her hair is really in just a half-ponytail with a red-orange ribbon. Her usual red eyes with slits were replaced with brown and looks normal.
'Here's one genuine civilian but really, change your face, will you?' Jiraiya snorted. 'You're recognizable.' in Konoha, she has the reputation of 'the most beautiful kunoichi in a century' and as the author Shuzen. She has a huge international fanbase. Not just in Konoha so she's swimming in money like her godfather.
'Fine! Jeez...' Naruko changed her face into that of Akua's. She refuses to change into a 'lesser beauty' than vampire beauty out of her vampire vanity. 'Happy?!'
'Good. We'll go ahead and then track us down.' Jiraiya then left with her teammates, leaving her there.
She left after an hour, turning herself into a bird.
'Hey, d'you think we can learn that sometime soon?' Kotetsu asked Izumo.
'I experimented once, I don't have enough juice.' said Izumo gloomily. 'I tried changing my hand into a knife blade but when I ran out of chakra, I lost my concentration and it damn hurt it made the T&I torture feel like a spa massage in comparison as my hand slowly changed back.' he said with a cringe. 'I'll never do it ever again. Got one hell of a scolding from the medics too.'
'Shiiiit...so it IS possible but we just don't have the gas and natural inborn talent for it?' Kotetsu whistled in amazement but his long-time partner winced.
'Try at home, you'll see. I just don't recommend it.' he griped. 'I'm still having nightmares about it, damnit.'
xxx
At the first town...
Naru was watching while posing as a civilian, setting her limiter to the max to make it look like she's just a civilian.
And as a vampire, she can change how she looked through transformation. She made herself look like a young adult in their early twenties. How she'd look as one but still wearing the same clothes, but without the childish ribbon on her head.
It was easy to get into casinoes and bars where the lady frequented, and ask around in exchange for 'favors'.
Using her vampire charm, it was too easy, and then when she got what she wanted, she would allow them to take her to their room...for her to drain dry instead of the favor they were promised.
As if she'd let these pigs touch her.
She chooses her prey well by smell alone. She doesn't like druggies and smokers.
'Burp...its been a while since I last had a big meal.' Naruko licked her lips. 'This should last me several months at least. Their blood is kinda 'fat' I can last long on this. Probably fat from too much beer.'
Her red eyes glowed.
She better go tell Jiraiya.
xxx
Sakura and Sasuke stared. Jiraiya was shamelessly drooling and momentarily forgetting this is his goddaughter.
'Na-Na-Naru-san? T-that's her, right?' Sakura pointed numbly as Naruko was flirting with some man that...pissed off her fiancee.
"What is she doing flirting with a man years older than her?!" he growled in jealousy as he pictured ways to kill the man Naruko was with. Naruko then put the man to sleep and began writing in a notepad while shrinking to her real appearance.
'Naru-san!' Sakura called out. 'Weren't you supposed to be...er...around?'
'I am doing just that. You just found me by coincidence.' said Naruko wryly. 'Anyway, this town is useless. She left a day ago.'
'What?!' Jiraiya was stunned out of his stupor. 'But reports say she was here!'
'That was until she lost more money than she could pay in the casino and she ran off without paying.' her companions stared. 'She owes that casino about 50 million ryo and more.'
'WHAT?!' Sakura screeched at the obscene amount of money their...would-be new Hokage owed a casino.
'Not only that, there's six casinoes and over twenty bars in this town.' Naruko added. 'And out of those twenty, only three are in her taste. And in five more casinoes, she owes enough money, including that over 50 million that we can all live a cushy life for three years with that money.'
'And how?!'
'By living in a luxurious resort or in a hotel suite, paying the outrageous rents, eating gourmet cuisine and buying the latest trends in clothes and shoes. But if jewelry is purchased, that fortune will not last long.' Naruko explained as Sakura imagined such a life. 'We should go. This town is no use.'
'So where did you get that she went?' Jiraiya asked her. 'Its hard wrangling information out of dudes unless we give huge bribes which is annoying but part of the job. I'm glad I'm rich or this job would be pissing me off.'
'Tanzaku Gai.'
'And how did you get that information?'
'By flirting and promising them sex, and drug them afterwards.' her team choked. 'As if I'd have sex with them.' Naruko sneered. 'They stink, bad breath and there's no way I'd kiss someone with poor dental hygiene, no way! Gross!' she cried with a gagging expression. 'I have standards!'
Sasuke wondered if he'd be glad or not, but she still flirted with other men yet wouldn't give him a chance.
And he's her fiancee.
'For now we'll spend the night here.' said Jiraiya. 'I think I'd like a cushy hotel right now myself.' he said tiredly.
And so...
Renting a suite, has never been so dreamier. The furniture, the huge room, and the privilege of the outdoor baths!
'Those outdoor baths are really nice...' said Sakura as they got back from the outdoor baths.
'Yeah but we had to triple-check just incase.' said Naruko blandly as both girls grimaced. The dangers of peeping toms have come indeed so they had to be double-sure.
'Then we can enjoy all we want after...' came the imagine spot that they enjoyed marinading in the hot springs.
Naruko was glad she's a Dhampir or such luxury would come with a heavy price...because pure water is still the best compared to water diluted by copious amounts of fragrant monster herbs which to her, seriously STINKS due to her remaining humanity as a Dhampir. She can still eat Monster Durian and other delicacies though.
When they came back to their suit, Jiraiya was struggling with something in a sack.
'Sensei?' Naruko frowned as Jiraiya was struggling to keep it in.
'Naru do something about this!' Jiraiya wailed. 'Your friend sent you a freaky fruit and this bunch won't stop moving about!' he complained.
'Freaky fruit?' the Genin chorused as Jiraiya opened the sack to reveal a large black, spiky er...thing...with three mouths and long tongues coming out of each tongue.
'Hiiiii!' Sakura freaked out. 'That's freaky alright!' she cried, backing away in disgust while Naruko...was openly drooling with a dreamy expression on her face.
'M-M-Monster Durian...and its sooo big too...' Naruko moaned in absolute foodgasm arousal before her hands turned into a knife as she pounced on it. 'Oryaaa!' and she sliced the fruit to pieces.
'How on earth can you be willing to eat that thing?!' Sakura shrieked as after slicing, Naruko was happily eating it like one would watermelons.
'But its sooo yummy~! I'm lucky to have a thoughtful friend~' Naruko moaned. 'I owe you one Fonfon!' she squealed in delight.
'How does it taste?' Sasuke wondered nervously as he picked up a rind and choked. It smells like BLOOD. For him it stinks so bad it doesn't help that the fruit's flesh is blood colored. He licked some juice...and its indeed good. 'It's delicious but the smell is a major turn-off...' his comments while wafting the smell away made Naruko glance at him.
'The smell?' Sakura blinked.
'Smells like blood.'
'Hah?!'
'Well it can't be helped...its name is Monster Durian for a good reason.' Naruko pointed out as fruit juice was dripping down her chin making her look like a zombie character out of a horror story when she looked at them they choked. 'Its a rare monster in a faraway continent not known to any ninja or samurai nation living underground using its fruit to entice curious people who have no idea how delicious it is so they don't dare to eat it due to how it looks. These fruits are controlled by the monster and they lure the schmucks to the main plant...and then when the prey is close, the plant itself comes out, grabs prey by its tentacles and shoves them in its mouth. So you have to be a really good competent fighter to get a fruit AND stay alive because its a good prey catcher.' she said. 'And because these things are very far away from its parent plant, all the fruits can do is wave their long tongues and wobble, while staying still like any other fruit. They can no longer move.'
'And you're happily eating a fruit made by a carnivorous plant?!' Sakura squeaked in squeamishness.
'Its tasty, who cares what it eats? Its expensive so people often hunt it. Its a fruit to DIE for when they do hunt it though. Hey, people eat the Puffer Fish because its a to die for delicacy, this is the same.' Naruko shrugged to their disbelief. 'Oh well, more for me!' she squealed happily.
'Oh no, at least give me one slice!' Sasuke growled, snatching one slice because the taste of the juice got him hooked.
'Sasuke-kun?!' Sakura squeaked at the mere thought of him eating a freaky-looking fruit.
'Nyah?!' Naruko yelped as he took a slice from her and he took a bite. It was a struggle to ignore the smell though.
'Its delicious but the smell sucks...' he comically cried.
'Even normal durians stink, you idiot!' Jiraiya scoffed gruffly. 'This one is just another type of stink!' Sakura hesitatingly took a bite off his to be safe but...
She felt ill and fainted upon swallowing.
'Careful, not everyone is made to eat it y'know.' Naruko chuckled before she was out cold. 'Oh well, you'll wake up tomorrow. Jiraiya, take her for stomach pumping to be safe. Normal humans cannot stomach this luxury gourmet product for our kind as according to science, it has nutrients and enzymes good for us monsters but food poisoning effects to humans but it seems Sasuke can eat it with no ill effects...' she said with a thoughtful stare at Sasuke.
'Well, I still hate the smell.' Sasuke grumbled while gagging. 'And I think after this I need a thorough mouthwashing.'
Needless to say Jiraiya had to deal with Sakura while the pair ate Monster Durians.
Well, they have something in common but Sasuke is a human! Normally human can't stand these things...they often get food poisoning from it. Yet he can eat it safely. He only complains about the smell when normally, even diluted monster blood to border beings like witches finds Monster Durians mouth-watering, appetizingly fragrant. What a mystery...
Once the Durians are all eaten up, traces of the fruit's existence were burned since they don't exist in any ninja nation after all.
However, as they slept that night...
The nutrients of the Monster Durian have reacted to Sasuke's body upon digestion...
xxx
Next morning...
Sasuke found severe issues with himself.
He woke up the next day with something strange in himself.
Was his eyesight so...clear?
Maybe its just a side-effect of waking up. Yeah. That's it.
He got downstairs, having some trouble.
'Sasuke? Why're you stumbling about?' Jiraiya frowned in concern.
'I-I think I woke up wrong this morning...' the boy stammered out. 'That's all.' "My eyes feel weird..."
'If you're sure...'
For Sasuke, he can't even explain what's going on so he left it at that.
As they traveled, his senses somehow felt different.
His sense of smell and taste which he felt when he ate breakfast. To him, the food was yucky he'll have to learn how to cook at home later dammit.
At least his remaining senses stayed the same.
He traveled with his team while trying to adapt to his changes.
It took four more towns, until they arrived in Tanzaku Gai, the Gambling Capital of Fire Country.
'She's here.' said Naruko.
'What did you promise those guys this time?' Sakura asked her almost warily. Naruko did promise the guys SEX of all things, but didn't come through and knocked them out instead.
'Oh, a good time in a nearby love motel...I was in a sexy lingerie and all but once when we came to bed...I snapped his neck before anything can start.' Naruko smiled cheerfully to their freak-out. 'At least he died thinking he scored with a hot girl.' she said uncaringly.
'You're going to give us a heart attack one of these days!' Jiraiya wailed on her and she merely shrugged.
'Kunoichi are femme fatales to begin with.' Naruko drawled boredly. 'Beautiful. Alluring. Seductive. Deadly and a Killer when we got what we wanted off our mark. Kunoichi are often suited as spies, infiltrators and intel specialists as who'd suspect a do-no-wrong cutie? And Sakura, you're gonna do that someday too when you grow some boobs so don't you balk at the idea.' Naruko told the balking pinkette who looked green and defensively wrapped her arms around her...flat chest.
'Leave my boobs alone!' came the indignant shriek as Sakura is highly conscious of her lack of boobage due to her own fault since her childhood.
'Did you at least use an adult body?!'
'He likes 'fresh adults' so I stayed as I am but with brown eyes and hair.'
Sasuke twitched nonstop.
This seriously has got to stop. Seriously.
xxx
Tanzaku Gai...
Its a town alright. But no actual citizen lives here. Its full of Hotels, Inns, Restaurants, Stalls, Red Light areas and Casinoes. Its a town purely for a short stay, commerce, and bankrupting those with bad luck. Its a town where Lady Luck only smiles on select few but her smile does not last long if you get too greedy.
'Lessee...similar presence similar presence...ah...but there's four powerful presences in this town actually.' Naruko told them to their surprise.
'Four?' Jiraiya blurted incredulously.
'Yes, four. Two of them in pairs with someone weaker than them, and then two other individuals who are quite as powerful as you three. They're also in a pair together.'
'We go for the ones with weaker partners. Any way to sort Tsunade-hime from these guys?' Jiraiya frowned.
'Eto ne...two of them have corrupt chakra if it helps, one shows abnormality and one is perfectly normal.'
'To the normal one!' Jiraiya barked. 'Its best we leave these guys alone to avoid starting unnecessary conflict.' with Naruko in the lead, she led them to a bar to see that the normal presence, was Tsunade herself.
'You guys can buy some snacks. Just no alcohol and Naru, keep an eye on the anomalies.' Jiraiya instructed her. 'Sasuke, Sakura, with me.'
'OK.' and Naruko went to the bar while her teammates followed Jiraiya.
'...One bottle of Amazake, Kaki no Tane.' she ordered.
'Er, are you of age?' the bartender asked her skeptically.
'If I wasn't, would I be here?' Naruko drawled while directing killing intent at him that spooked him into giving her what she wanted.
xxx
'What do you want, Jiraiya?' Tsunade grunted, not quite happy to see him as apparently, Orochimaru has gone to see her.
'Sensei has decided.' said Jiraiya grimly. 'Under Martial Law, return home. Immediately.' Tsunade stiffened at this. Under Martial Law, she cannot defy any orders from the Hokage which is basically one way to sum it up.
'Martial Law?!' Tsunade sputtered out. 'Didn't that end years ago?!' Ohhh she heard what happened years ago and it was real nasty.
'You can blame Orochimaru on that one.' Jiraiya snorted. 'Right now, Konoha wants you back home in our current state, and jiji isn't on a forgiving mood since Naruko-chan was killed by the orphanage years ago.' he said softly in a somber manner. 'He ain't tolerating shit no more. So its go home or become a nukenin.' Tsunade growled at this.
'As if I have a choice in the matter!' she snapped irritably. 'Even I know what Martial Law is! So? What does he want me to do?'
'You now have the ultimate freedom in what to do in Konoha's hospital. Jiji now controls the funding.' Jiraiya grinned. 'You are to train hardcore competent medic-nin. You are to locate students with perfect chakra control and intelligence to match, and whip them into shape. That is your task. You are to create a shitload of em'.'
'Nanda, its just that.' Tsunade grunted.
Jiraiya wisely did not tell her another thing...
'Oh yes, while I can tell why Orochimaru is here is YOU'RE here, have you and Shizune-chan encountered the other two strong presence we detected?'
'Huh? No. I thought its just Orochimaru and his boy toy.' Tsunade scoffed.
'There's another pair and we'd rather not encounter them if we can help it while on our goal to return you home.' said Jiraiya. 'I have genin with me. If I was alone, I would have peeped to see who it is before deciding what to do. So can we get going ASAP before Tanzaku Gai becomes a potential madhouse?'
'Our things are still in a hotel, we'll have to get them first.' said Shizune.
Jiraiya was glad for the Martial Law card or getting Tsunade home would be normally...akin to pulling out a wisdom tooth without anesthesia.
'Jiraiya-sensei.' Naruko approached them. 'We might wanna vamoose fast. The two pairs we're talking about are practically in a tag game and it won't be pretty if we meet and this becomes a three-way shithole.'
'Great, now who did Orochimaru piss off?' Jiraiya rolled his eyes heavenward, raising his arms in exasperation.
'I don't care, his problem, not mine...and you have a Genin on lookout?!' Tsunade gave Jiraiya a glare.
'She's Konoha's best sensor despite her age. She can sense anyone at great distances and her range is the largest out of the sensors we have at home.' Jiraiya beamed proudly before going serious. 'So yes, let's buy her word and get the fuck out.' quickly paying the bill, they left the bar. 'Naru, you lead with Tsunade-hime since she knows where the hotel is, and you lead us away from trouble!'
'Alright!' and the two blondes led their group with the goal being the occupied Hotel.