Sorrow, Pain, and… Happiness?

Shane's Point of View

I headed back to the cabin. Nothing I could do would get Mitchie back. I would finally stop trying to get Mitchie back. Maybe one day we could be friends. A knife seemed to pierce my heart as I thought that.

A voice was coming from the cabin. I recognized it immediately.

"I was… scared," Mitchie's voice said. "Shane's, well, Shane. He's famous and perfect and I'm just a normal girl. I'm not special at all. I'm always scared that he's going to realize that and dump me for someone else. Ever since we got together I've been scared."

"How can you think you're plain?" Nate's voice asked. "Have you not seen the way Shane looks at you?"

I looked around and saw a tape recorder on my pillow. I smiled sadly as the recording ended. Mitchie's face danced in front of my eyes. Now I knew why she had broken up with me; I always knew there was more to it than what she said in the letter. A tear fell down my cheek. I pulled the letter out of my pocket, were I know keep it, and read over it now that it had a new meaning for me. It was no longer the letter that broke my heart, now it was the letter that neither of us wanted to exist. Another tear escaped and I let my control slip. The letter went back in my pocket so it wouldn't get wet from my tears. I couldn't tell if they were tears of sorrow, pain, or happiness. I buried my head in the pillow right as Nate and Jason walked in.

"You okay?" Nate asked as he sat down on the edge of my bed.

"Go away," I tried to say with a strong voice but in the middle my voice cracked. A sob escaped my mouth before I could stop it. Two pairs of hands were rubbing my back. I didn't try to throw them off. More sobs escaped. The recording had reopened wounds and gave me new ones. This would have been easier to get through if I didn't know why she broke up with me. Now I knew and it felt like it was all my fault.

"Are you okay?" Nate repeated softly.

"I never should have…" I started. I didn't continue because a fresh wave of pain rolled across my body. Nate and Jason didn't try to make me finish my sentence.

"Shh," Nate said, trying to calm me down. It didn't help me calm down. If anything it made the pain even worse. How can Nate and Jason think I deserve to feel better? I should feel pain. I caused Mitchie pain so I deserve to feel the same amount of, if not more, pain. If I had never become famous, Mitchie would be happy. If I didn't exist at all, Mitchie would be happy. I shouldn't exist.

As I thought those words, a sharp pain ran across a small point on my arm. I held back a gasp.

Flashback

"No! Give me that back!" I yelled and fought against Mitchie as Nate threw the knife across the room.

"What the hell were you doing?" Nate yelled.

"Give me my knife!" I screamed as Mitchie fought to keep her hold on me.

"Think about what you're doing to yourself. What you're doing to us and Mitchie especially."

"You die, I can't live anymore Shane," she whispered in my ear.

I turned around and looked at Mitchie. Her face was streaked with tears. I managed to get my arms free enough to pull her into a hug. Tears were freefalling down my face. I managed to grab another pocket knife from where Nate keeps one, in the pillow case, but I couldn't quite reach my wrist so I cut just below my elbow. I gasped and Mitchie pulled away.

She saw the blood and gasped. Nate turned around but I was already running. I lost them in the woods made it to the dock. (Taken straight from TBH Chapter 4, You Jump, I Jump)

The place where the pain was was right where I had cut myself. I pulled free of Nate and Jason and ran to the woods. The second I was alone, I yanked up my jacket sleeve and stared at the barely visible scar. For just an instant, I thought I saw fresh blood running down my arm. I blinked and it was gone.

"What is happening to me?" I mumbled as Nate and Jason came running up to me. They literally pushed me back to the cabin. I just stared off into space, trying to figure out what was going on.

After awhile (by awhile, I mean the next day) I managed to calm down. I decided to get away for an hour or two by going for a drive. I just drove around town with no particular destination in mind.

Suddenly a speeding car going the other way started driving on the wrong side of the road, straight towards me. I tried to swerve the wheel to avoid, but the car was going to fast. As we collided I was thrown forward into the airbag. I fought against unconsciousness long enough to see the lights of an ambulance heading my way.

My new laptop is FINALLY here. yeah. i just realized that this is the first chapter at least from this story, maybe from the last few chapters from TBH, that is all in 1 persons perspective the entire time.