Chapter 9
That night, when they lay down to sleep, Rory had no doubt that he would dream of death. And he was right; he did have nightmares of losing the ones he loved. But it wasn't his wife that he dreamed about, but his best friend…
"I watched him die. I shouldn't let it get to me, but it still does…" His voice drifted through black before a blazing sun took the place of darkness.
The Utah Dessert was hot and barren, no buildings in sight, no people to get in the way, only beautiful nature.
"Howdy." Amelia and Rory turned to see the Doctor sitting on a car. He looked pretty much exactly like he had the last time they had seen him, with his suit complete with a purple bow tie, with only a minor difference—a Stetson.
"Doctor!" Amy said excitedly, as they both ran across the road to see him.
"Ha,ha, it's the Ponds!" The Doctor laughed happily as he pulled Amelia into a tight hug. "Hello Ponds."
"So," Amy said straightening his shirt, "Somebody's been a busy boy, then eh?"
Rory watched the two as they caught up, shaking his head with a smile because this was just like old times and to be honest he had missed this. Missed the Doctor.
"Did you see me?" The Time Lord asked as if they could have missed his mark in their history books.
"Couse." Amy nodded, sharing a look with Rory that said the same thing that he had just been thinking.
"Stalker!"
"Alert." Amy clarified.
"Husband." Rory waved slightly, reminding them of his presence.
"And Rory the Roman!" The Doctor grinned and pulled him into a close hug. "Come here you."
They all laughed, content to be in each other's presence again and Rory wondered how he could ever have wanted to leave their friend for a normal life.
"Hey, nice hat." He complimented the alien because frankly the cowboy hat was much better than the Fez had been.
"I wear a Stetson now," The Doctor said as he turned around showing off the hat, "Stetsons are cool."
A gun shot sounded and went straight through the hat, and they all turned around to see River Song blow on her smoking gun.
"Hello Sweetie." She greeted with a smile.
"River!" The Doctor greeted her with a smile before he put his arms around the Ponds' shoulders and pushed them towards the car. "Come on, we have places to be."
"Where are we going?" Rory asked as he slipped in the back by River. Amy claimed shotgun. "And where did you get a car—an actual normal car?"
The Doctor frowned at him in the mirror, "It's mine, haven't you seen the garage in the TARDIS?" Rory shrugged and shook his head, because he hadn't seen the garage but then he hadn't seen a lot of the endless rooms the ship had, so it wasn't that much of a surprise.
The Doctor drove—surprisingly well though a bit too fast—to a café that was about ten minutes away from where they had been before.
Rory sat down next to River after he had bought their drinks, staring at the two time travelers as they both flipped through identical blue diaries.
"Oh, Jim the Fish, how is he?" River finished whatever she had been saying before, a huge grin on her face, as he sat down.
"Still building his dams." The Doctor answered moving over to let Amy in the booth.
"Sorry, what are you two doing?" Rory asked them confused. He had only met River Song the once back when they had to restart the universe and though he liked her he did find it odd that the Doctor had invited her to his reunion with the Ponds.
"They're both time travelers, so they never meet in the right order, they're synching their diaries." Amelia explained helpfully before she turned to the Doctor. "So what's happening then? Because you've been up to something."
Rory looked across the table at the Doctor who smiled sadly as he looked at each and every one of them and Rory felt a ball of fear settle into his stomach. "I've been running." He finally started, "Faster than I've ever run and I've been running my whole life. Now it's time for me to stop. And tonight," He paused and caught each of their eyes, "I'm going to need you all with me."
"Okay." Amy promised and Rory nodded in agreement. "We're here, what's up?"
"Picnic." The Doctor answered, surprising the Human with the normal answer, "Then a trip, somewhere different, somewhere brand new."
"Where?" Amy asked curiously.
"Space. 1969."
After that, they talked about what they had been up to in the time that he had been out of their lives and listened to River tell a story about Easter Island filled with statues. When they had finished their drinks, the Doctor drove them to Lake Silencio where they set up the picnic that he had prepared before they had seen him.
"So, when are we going to 1969?" Rory asked after the Doctor had poured them each a cup of wine.
"And since when do you drink wine?" Amy asked the alien who was staring at the bottle of wine warily.
"I'm eleven hundred and three, I must have drunk it sometimes." He said and took a drink which he abruptly spat out. "Uh, why it's horrid!" Rory laughed and took a drink of his wine.
"Eleven hundred and three?" Amy stated, "You were nine hundred and eight the last time we saw you."
"And you've put on a few pounds; I wasn't going to mention it." The Doctor retorted without heat.
"Ah, the moon." The Doctor said, pointing at the easily visible moon in the wide blue sky. "Of course, you lot did a lot more than look didn't you? Big silvery thing in the sky, you couldn't resist it. Quite right."
"The moon landing was in '69." Rory perked up, excited by the possibility of actually seeing that for the very first time, "Is that where we're going?"
"Oh, a lot more happens in '69 than anyone remembers. Human beings…I thought I'd never get done saving you." The Doctor said and Rory's stomach clenched nervously again.
There was something going on with the Doctor and though he tried no to show it, Rory sensed that the Time Lord was tired. But tired of what? And what could Rory do to help him? But there was no time to worry about that as he spotted a silver truck park and an elderly man get out of his car to wave at the Doctor who seemed unsurprised to see him.
"Oh my." River whispered shocked, and they all turned to see what she was staring at.
It was a shock: an astronaut in a complete space suit was coming out of the water.WC.
"You all need to stay back." The Doctor ordered, staring knowingly at the being before them. "Whatever happens now, you do not interfere. Clear?" Then he walked alone down to meet the newcomer.
"That's an astronaut." Rory whispered to his wife, "That's an Apollo Astronaut in the lake."
"Look." She nodded, her eyes following the Doctor as he reached the spaceman.
They all stared silently as the Doctor spoke, but they were unable to hear anything. Then the Astronaut raised its hand and fired a weapon they couldn't see twice at the Doctor who was thrown back.
"Doctor!" Amy screamed and began to run towards him.
Rory ran after her and grabbed one of her arms while River grabbed the other.
"Amy, stay back!" River yelled but Amy struggled against their hold. "We have to stay back!" She explained but her own voice was horrified.
Rory kept his hold on his wife staring at the Doctor as a golden light began to surround him. There was silence as the monster looked on, it's hand still raised. The Doctor threw his arms out, that light encircling his whole body. The Astronaut fired once more and this time the Doctor fell and stayed still. The Astronaut turned around and began to walk back into the lake.
"No!" River screamed and this time it was she who began to run towards the Doctor but Amy and Rory weren't far behind.
He reached the Doctor first, and he slid to his knees, seconds before River and Amy. River pulled out a device and scanned the Doctor but there was only a noise that Rory knew all too well. One constant line: there was no pulse.
"River!" Amy called desperately her hands running down the Doctor's face.
River looked at both of them and there was death in her eyes. Rory couldn't breathe, he felt like someone had just punched him in the lungs, and his vision blurred. His world was crashing down and there was no one who could help him. The only one who could have was lying lifeless in front of him.
River stood up, pulling out her gun and shooting at the Astronaut who was already too far away for the modern-day bullets to hit. "'Course not." She whispered softly but Rory didn't take the time to wonder what that meant. Not right now, not with the Doctor lying there…dead.
How could this have happened? This was impossible! The Doctor was supposed to outlive them by thousands of years, his death could not be. Rory had spent so much time travelling with the Doctor that he had prepared himself for his own death but the Doctor's? Never.
"River, he can't be dead." Amy sobbed, her body rocking, her hands holding her middle as if to hold herself together. "It's not possible."
He should have gone and comforted her but he didn't have any comfort to give, his own heart was breaking.
"Whatever that thing was, it killed him in the middle of his regeneration cycle." River explained, her voice sharp and clipped, the unshed tears clear in her eyes. "His body was already dead. He didn't make it to the next one."
"Maybe he's a clone or a duplicate or something." Amy begged, grabbing at anything but the truth and Rory sympathized. After all it was the Doctor, if anyone could outrun death then it was him, wasn't it?
"I've been running. Faster than I've ever run and I've been running my whole life. Now it's time for me to stop." That's what the Doctor had told them. Perhaps he had known but those words didn't feel Rory with any hope that the Time Lord had a plan to get out.
"I believe I can save you some time." They all turned to look at the old man who had come up to them—the man who had arrived in the truck and they had all forgotten about. "That most certainly is the Doctor, and he is most certainly dead." He set a gas can down in front of them, "He said you'd need this."
They all stared at him silently. Rory swallowed and took a deep breath trying to pull himself together. He didn't try to stop the tears from falling though, some things were pointless. "Gasoline?" He asked hoarsely.
River Song closed her eyes and nodded slightly, "A Time Lord's body is a miracle. Even a dead one. There are whole empires out there who would rip the world apart for just one cell." She shook her head, struggling to continue, "We can't just leave him here. Or anywhere."
"Wake up, come on, wake up!" Amy begged the corpse desperately, leaning her head on his chest. "What do we do Rory?"
But Rory Williams had no answers for his wife, no words to make this all better, no smile to make the pain go away.
"We're his friends. We do what the Doctor's friends always do." River answered for him as she picked up the gas can. "As we're told."
He looked away from the Doctor's still body because he couldn't bear to see the sight anymore, and he spotted a boat moored on the side of the lake. "If we're going to do this…Let's do it properly."
The sky was darkening by the time everything was ready. But there were still goodbyes to say. Amy went first; she knelt by the boat and bowed her head. Rory, River, and the stranger stayed back giving her the time she needed. River's goodbye was over all too soon and then it was Rory's turn and he wasn't ready.
He stood there and had no words to say, no coherent thought in his head, and nothing but pain in his heart. He waded out in the lake till the water was knee deep, keeping the boat with him with his hands before he said the only thing that he could. "Thank you, Doctor."
Rory Williams lit the match and threw it in; standing back and watching the body of his friend go up in flames…
Rory startled awake, cold and shaking, his mind trembling with the force of his grief. He lay there for a moment, trying desperately to sink into a deep and restful sleep that wouldn't be marred by grief and pain and depression, yet afraid to really sleep for fear that he would once again see the horrible memory of losing his best friend.
Finally, unable to stay still he decided to walk out the grief. Again. In times like these the TARDIS was the best place to be. Her vast size, her never ending corridors, and the countless rooms to explore were perfect for restless nights. It was on these nights that he felt a bond with the ship, an odd kinship with her. For it was in these times that he knew without a doubt that she was alive.
Maybe it was because he let his mind wander from subject to subject, never focusing on anything for too long, staying far far away from thoughts and emotions and memories of sadness and pain. For whatever reason, while he walked he could sense her, just on the edge of consciousness, a calm and peaceful presence with undertones of power.
This night he walked in no particular direction, merely let his feet go where they wished and his thoughts drift where they pleased, so he was surprised to see the staircase that led to the Control Room. He hesitated a moment before stepping inside and seeing the very man that he had dreamt of, alive. Even though it had been some time since Utah, Rory caught himself staring at the Time Lord and wondering how this man could ever die, how the universe would get on without him saving them all the time. But they would have to, somehow. Not yet, but the knowledge that the Doctor would die was always there: a terrifying, painful thought that refused to leave no matter how hard Rory tried.
He watched the Doctor silently, relishing in the fact that for the moment he was alive. The alien was not running around nor dancing all over the control panel as Rory was used to seeing, instead he was staring at the scanner that showed images too fast for Rory to comprehend. His animated voice was silent, his body still, save for his right hand that tapped a beat against the panel, his eyes dark with unspoken thoughts and hidden emotions.
"Rory, are you all right?" The Doctor asked quietly, startling Rory out of his silence and making him a bit guilty for interrupting.
"Uh, yeah, I am." He answered coming down the stairs. "I think so at least."
"Are you sure?" The alien questioned, "You were rather upset."
Rory smiled slightly, "Yeah, I was, sorry about that. I'm fine now though, thanks."
The Doctor nodded and looked back at the scanner. "How's Amy. Is everything all right?"
All right with what, Rory wondered, with her health or between Amelia and Rory? Either way the answer was the same. "She's fine, resting—she's rather tired after the anesthetic but everything is good."
"Good, I'm glad." He murmured.
"What are you doing?" Rory finally asked after a moment's silence.
The Doctor glanced at him with a familiar look, the one that silently asked what schools taught their children nowadays. "I'm reading, what does it look like I'm doing?" He answered his voice devoid of criticism.
"Um," Rory looked at the screen unable to understand anything that it was showing, "I honestly have no idea. What are you reading?"
The Doctor shrugged, "The Study of Hyper Kinetics-it's quite fascinating really though the Sitihites are nowhere near perfecting it or even making it work but still, they are quite creative, I'll give them that."
Rory laughed, not to be mean but because it was good to see the Doctor getting excited for another race's developments and to see a bit of a shine in his eyes again. "Interesting." He said trying to stifle his laughter.
"Rory this is important stuff, you shouldn't mock." The Doctor told him seriously and Rory nodded. "Besides, shouldn't you be in bed?"
Rory's smile disappeared as the dream was brought back to the forefront of his thoughts. "Yeah, I couldn't sleep. Needed some company." He said.
"You're sure you're all right?" The Doctor wondered again, taking a close look into Rory's eyes. "Because I mean I can drop you off at home and you could take a break, you and Amy. If that's what you want."
"I'm fine, we're fine. We don't need a vacation or anything, we're happy where we are." Rory replied a bit confused where this had all come from.
"Right then, I must have been wrong." The Doctor smiled and flipped a switch that set the scanner to the normal screen. "Happens to the best of us.
"Doctor," Rory apologized, realizing with horror where this had come from, "I'm sorry for what I said. I was wrong and I well I shouldn't have said that—any of it. I'm sorry." The Doctor didn't respond merely went to the other side of the console to mess with some controls. "I don't want to leave, I-I want to stay with you and keep seeing these wonderful alien worlds and space stations and saving people. I really do."
"Do you though?" The Doctor asked quietly, his eyes holding Rory's in a captive stare. "Because this life, it's exhausting, it wears on people until they just have to get out. It's full of pain and running and danger and it doesn't always end…nice. Sometimes it ends in pain and tragedy. And sometimes…sometimes I can't save them and they, they die. So, maybe it's best to, to get out before that happens. To get you and your wife far away from me and close to safety. Have a house and a job and friends that you don't have to lie to and a family that doesn't have to worry about where you are but, but ask you about normal things like did you catch that show on the telly? You could settle down have a family of your own—children that you can raise and teach what you want and tell them you love them without having to worry about age issues and know that they are yours the day they are born and not years after knowing them."
"And leave you?"
The Doctor shook his head slowly, "Yes leave me. Leave me for a—a better life, a happier life free of me and my adventures that never seem to go right."
"A better life?" Rory repeated incredulously, "Better for who? Not for you, you're rubbish on your own—you told me so yourself—and certainly not better for Amy and me. This life is so beautiful. Yes, it's full of running and danger and pain and hard choices and trouble that you have to get us out of, but this…this life is the better one."
The Doctor stared at him and Rory could see the disbelief in the Time Lord's eyes. But everything that he had said was truth, a truth that he had never put into words or consciously thought before but it was there just the same. And at that moment, all he wanted to do was to make the Doctor understand what he really felt, to tell him what he meant to Rory. He had to, before the Doctor's time ran out.
"You know on Earth, people dream of seeing the universe. They look up at the sky at night and dream of touching the stars." Rory started, he picked his words carefully and spoke slowly to get his point across. "But I don't dream about it. Not anymore, because I do it. I know that I can open those doors right now and I can literally float in space, I can put my hand out there and feel the heat of a star. And you would be there to catch me. Who else can say that? You're the greatest man I know, Doctor, and I do not want to leave you. Never."
"You will." The Doctor promised with certainty. "One day, maybe not for a long time, but one day you and Amy will want to leave."
"Maybe one day," Rory admitted though he could not imagine ever wanting to give this all up, "But not today."
The Doctor nodded, "I'm glad." He straightened and moved to the other side of the console where he pushed some buttons and pulled some levers. "You should get some rest, before Amelia wakes up and finds you gone; else we're both be in trouble."
Rory laughed and started to leave but when he got to the top of the stairs he paused and turned back, "Doctor, what will you do?"
"Me?" The Doctor answered with a small smile, "I'm going to touch the stars, Rory."