In the morning I still can't get Gale and his shell out of my mind. Since the train station is only a twenty minute walk we, thankfully, didn't have to be up before the sun this time. However, we did still need to get up pretty early.

I was surprised to see Hazelle and Posy up in the dawn light; wrapped in robes, adorned with slippers on their feet.

Gale gives his mother a hug and tells her to tell Rory and Vick 'bye' for him. He kisses Posy on the top of her head before she hops down from her stool and wraps her arms around his legs.

I say goodbye to Hazelle and she pulls me into a hug too.

Posy disentangles herself from Gale as we put on our coats and grab our bags. Posy puts her little hand in mind as we walk to the threshold of the front door.

I am completely unprepared for the bitter frost so early in the morning when Gale opens the front door.

I kneel down on one knee in front of Posy, "Posy, you need to stay inside, it's too cold out here."

Posy just wraps her arms around me and squeezes me as tightly as her tiny form will allow before gasping out, "You'll call, won't you Johanna?"

"Yes, Posy, I'll call. I said we were friends, remember? Friends call each other, right?"

She nods before she turns and runs to Gale, launches herself into his arms, and wraps her arms around his neck and legs around his torso, her eyes well up with tears, and she chokes out "Gale, don't go, please." She begs him

"Rosy Posy, I have to go. Me and Johanna need to get back to District 4 to see our friend."

She sniffles and wipes the back of her hand across her nose.

"Johanna can stay too, and your friend. Please don't go Gale."

He sighs and puts her down on her slippered feet while he stoops to his knees.

He grasps both her arms gently in his hands "Posy, I'll come back, I promise. Who's going to stay here and watch over Rory and Vick for me? I need you to help me, okay Rosy Posy? You need to keep your brothers in line for me, until I can come back, okay?"

She lets her eyes drop to the floor as tears stream down her cheeks, before nodding her little ginger head.

"That's a good girl" Gale says, wiping her tears away and kissing her on each cheek.

He starts poking her gently in the belly with his index finger and then starts tickling her sides before her face splits into a grin and then a giggle escapes her.

He pulls her into one last hug and I wave to her as Gale shuts the front door behind him.

We walk in silence for a good five minutes. Further away from his family, and his home.

"Gale?"

He looks over to me, "Hummm?"

"That was awful, is this how it was last time?" My voice is low, almost in a whisper.

"It was worse last time."

I don't say anything for a minute before I decide I can't be selfish anymore.

I stop right in the middle of the road.

"You have to stay," I tell him. "I won't allow you to come to stupid District 4 just for me. You have to stay with your family."

"Don't be ridiculous Johanna."

"I'm not, I'm serious. They need you. Stay. You can come visit me when you can."

"Johanna," He says. "I'm coming home with you."

"Can't you see?" I start raising my voice at him, "this is your home!"

"No, Johanna. This used to be my home."

"No, Gale you have to stay."

"I'm not discussing this anymore" He tells me before he starts walking down the road again.

"What do you think will happen, Gale?" I ask, my voice dripping with disdain, not budging from my spot. "Do you think we'll live happily ever after or something? Do you think we'll get married, and have little dark haired babies? Because it won't happen. I don't want snotty kids, or to be married, ever. Stay here Gale. Find another girl. A normal one. One that wants to marry you, and have your babies. One that won't yell at you, or do stupid water dances, or take you away from your family, or is damaged beyond repair, and can't…."

"Johanna Mason." He cuts me off. "Stop it right now. You don't see yourself like I do. You with your talk about not knowing anything about family, but you take care of Annie when you have no obligation to, that's all family is Johanna; taking care of one another, no matter what. And you with your views on yourself regarding children, you say you don't want kids, or know the first thing about babies but look how much Finn loves you, and how much Posy loves you. You're great with kids, and rather you want to admit it to yourself or not, you know you love them back; even if it scares you to death."

He walks back over to me and tries to take my hand in his "Can we please just go?" He asks. "We're going to miss our train."

I wrench my hand from his "good, I don't care, maybe you'll stay if we miss the train."

"Johanna, we're going home, even if I have to carry you to the train station, now let's go."

I just stand stubbornly with my arms crossed over my chest. "Give me one good reason." I challenge him knowing he can't give me a reason enough to allow him to return with me.

"Because I love you!" He shouts at me. "Okay? Is that a good enough reason for you!" He clenches his jaw and balls his fists up at his side.

I am taken completely aback but this pronouncement.

"What?" I shout back to him; trying to ignore the sudden flip in my stomach and the wild pounding of my heart.

"You heard me," he says through clenched teeth, "now let's go, or I swear I will throw you over my shoulder."

I huff out a breath and trudge willingly to the train station; the last thing I need is for Gale to try to lug two bags, with me flailing on his shoulder, and us falling to the cold hard ground.

Once engulfed in the warmth of the train my brain starts to process what happened.

I rest my forehead against the cold glass window while Gale pretends to be asleep.

I run a million questions through my head, for what seems like an eternity. I decide I can't take the claustrophobic compartment and leave Gale to his pretend slumber.

I pace the train, back and forth, back and forth.

I would love nothing more than to pretend this whole conversation never happened. Maybe there is a way to avoid it. Of course there is no undoing what he said. I can't ignore it forever, but maybe just until I can sort everything out. This trip is just a little too much to take in. He announces to his whole family that I'm his girlfriend, but doesn't tell me? He just shouts out that he loves me in the middle of the road? Who does that? He brings me home and I actually like his stupid family, especially Posy.

Things were so much less complicated when I was alone; cared less, had less to lose. Well nothing to lose honestly.

Then again, I have to admit to myself, I wasn't this happy when I was alone either. I was hostile and resentful all the time. Bitter and alone, just like Gale said.

I come to the conclusion that I can't just ignore Gale and pretend nothing happened, no matter how much I would love to. I have to talk to him, and I really have to lighten up on him.

He does everything for me, and what do I give him in return? Nothing.

I sigh exasperatedly.

I make my way back to our compartment and see Gale's staring out the window. At least I don't have to go through the act of pretending to wake him from his pretend sleep.

"Hey Gale" I start.

"Hey Johanna"

I wonder when I will ever learn to have some kind of speech practiced and ready to go when I try to have discussions with him, instead of trying to just improvise on the spot.

I sigh again. "I'm sorry about earlier, I was just trying to do what I thought was best for you and your family."

"Yeah" Gale says half-heartedly, not looking at me.

Why does he always make it so hard to apologize to him?

I sigh again, knowing I'm going to have to say something more impressive than "I'm sorry".

"Gale, listen," I start again. "I….I care about you a lot. I try to fight it, but I can't keep it up any longer. I don't think my heart can take another loss, but it's a risk I'm willing to take."

He locks his gray eyes on mine "and you just assume you'll lose me?"

"It's inevitable Gale, I love someone, I lose them. That's all there is to it. I mean look at us, we yell at each other, you miss your family. One day you'll see, and you'll be gone. I want this to work, Gale, I really do. But, realistically, I just don't see how."

"It doesn't have to be that way."

"…..and what other way can it be?"

"I've been thinking about that, we just need to find a happy medium. A way to keep us all together; you, me, Annie, Finn, and my family that is."

"Which issssss…?"

"I don't know. We can't stay with Annie forever, she is plenty well enough to live on her own, but we definitely need to stay close. Like neighbors, close."

"And what about your family?"

"They should be neighbor close too."

"But how? We all come from different districts. I want to eventually go back to 7, you want to go to 2, even if you won't admit it, and Annie won't leave 4. She won't do it."

"Well, people are going to have to compromise, is all."

"Oh is that all?" I ask, trying to sound less pessimistic, and more interested in this absurd plan, that I know won't happen.

"If you're serious about wanting to make this work, we will both have to sacrifice for the others."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, like you said, you want to go to 7, but if my plan works," He pauses. "You can never go back." He finishes, steeling himself.

"What the hell do you mean I can never go back?"

"Well, maybe we can go for a visit but you can kiss living there goodbye."

"Gale" I'm starting to get angry at him for no reason and I have to fight to keep my cool.

"Okay, listen. I'm going to talk to my mother. Maybe not right away, but maybe soon and talk her into moving to District 4. Like you said, Annie won't leave. I know that, but I think I can convince my mother to. It will be hard on the kids, relocating yet again. But hopefully we can make it permanent this time. You and me, we can get our own place near Annie, and I can get a job, and I can get my family to come."

"What kind of job are you going to get in District 4, Gale? This is the fishing district; there are no needs for a great mind, here. You will grow to hate it and resent it."

Resent me more like. I think to myself.

"It doesn't matter what kind of job I do here. We'll all be together. That's what matters to me."

"You'll never be able to hunt here Gale. You'll never be able to do the work you want to do. You'll have no Beetee. No nut. No statistical grid patterns to discuss. No…"

"Johanna, are you listening to me? I just said it doesn't matter. Do you think I liked working in the mines? No. but I did it."

"It's too much Gale. Too much sacrifice, you're giving up too much."

"So are you. You'll be giving up the thing you want the most. To go home."

"That seems hardly relevant to what you're asking of everyone."

"I said we would all need to make compromises, Johanna. It won't be easy but it's what I want."

"And what if your mother won't come?"

"She'll come."

"What if she doesn't?" I challenge again.

"Then I guess we'll be making more frequent visits to District 2."

I hate that he automatically includes me in his travel plans.

"Either way…" he continues "I'll be staying in district 4, getting a job, doing whatever, even if I hate it, with you and Annie."

Damn it.