Xander called Willow. Yeah, maybe Giles or Buffy should be his first call in the case of apocalypsey goodness, but Willow had been his best friend forever. His first call would always be to her.

"This better not be some sort of whimsy."

So his timing kind of sucked. "Uh, Will?"

"I mean it, Mister. If this isn't at least life threatening, I'm hanging up."

"Apocalypse or bootie call?"

"Xander." She spluttered into the phone. "I would not blow you off just for … well, okay, maybe I would, but she's a gymnast. I didn't even know a body could be that bendy."

"Aaaaand I don't want to know. Well, yeah, actually I do but that's not why I called." Gymnast. So she'd given Diego the boot. He couldn't say he was surprised. When Kennedy had worked out that Willow had been doing the naughty with some kind of snakey demoness, well, that fight had made apocalypses look peaceful. Apparently Kennedy wasn't big on second chances. Willow had given up on Kennedy years ago, at least as far as Xander knew, but she'd also given up on long-term white picket fence relationships.

"Nightmares again?"

Nightmares. A corpse left sitting up, looking as if it were still alive. They'd known he was coming. They'd known he'd find the body. A whole family torn to pieces. Grisly bits he couldn't identify. "No." He couldn't wish for a simple nightmare, especially since his nightmares weren't simple, but this … wasn't good. "You remember when you took away Angel's chance to shanshu?"

"I didn't take it away. He voluntarily gave it up."

"Okay, so not the point. Remember how we thought that whole shanshued vampire apocalypse prophecy had been averted?"

"Sure, I mean, if there is no shanshued vampire then demons can't use the shanshued vampire to end the world, because he's, like, not there as in not shashued."

"We forgot about Spike."

There was a long moment of silence before Willow spoke. "Xander, honey? Spike's dead, well deader, dusted."

"That's what I thought until he waltzed into my hotel room. Oh and guess what. I saw his reflection."

"Xander, are you saying Spike's human?"

"Looks like."

"Oh, by Ishtar's round firm tits."

"That's what I said," Xander replied, "but with less tits."