Damn My Destiny…and damn…everything else

A/N: First of all, a HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to EVERYONE who is still reading this, I know I've been probably the worst at updating, and I really don't have an excuse other than I've been busy with school and weddings in India and such. I'm sorry, and I really appreciate all of you for being so kind. This is in Nafia's POV. I hope you guys like it! Thank you to WriterFreak132, MintCcIceCream, Evil-Angel-23, Little Emily, toshii519, and GlamGirl1991 for the AWESOME reviews! Love you all SO much! : ]

All of this was just a repercussion of my past. I was never really one to believe in karma exactly, but then, why would my destiny play such a cruel joke? The one who had been perfect had only the biggest flaw, and the one with more flaws than rainy days in La Push was apparently perfect for me. Fuck my life. Man, if only I was human, I would totally post this on …but no, that would be disastrous and then the Volturi would come after me like they did my mother. And that's exactly what we want, yes? I rolled my eyes. I lied down on my bed, waiting for Aylen to come over. Karson tried to be all lovey dovey before government today, and it irritated the hell out of me. He would try his best, and I would resist as much as I could…although, deep in my heart I knew, one day I wouldn't be able to resist the pull of imprinting…and to be honest, the mere thought scared, the fact that one day, I would eventually be in love with someone like Karson…I looked over as my phone vibrated, with a text message from Aylen saying,

Can't make it today. Sorry, love. Aaron wants to take me shopping…sorry baby! I love you!

I frowned, but sent a reply, saying it was fine. I knew how much she had been hurt, and how much she loved spending time with him, especially after all that had happened. I decided to go downstairs, food always made everything better. Food was pretty much my BFF. And that scent hit me, the one from earlier…Karson's scent. AWW MAN! He was here! Blah. I heard him and my mom chit chatting in the kitchen. And he was eating my food! Mom had saved casserole for me!

"HEY!" I yelled.

"Well, someone's happy to see me." He said, getting all hopeful. I huffed, saying

"I'm not yelling out of excitement. I want you to quit eating my food! MY mom saved that for ME!"

"And your mom also decided that she can make some more food for you later, and that Karson can eat some casserole now." My mom said putting her arm around me. I rolled my eyes again.

"Why are you here, Karson?" I asked, fully knowing the answer. He was obviously here to try to, in the words of my grandfather, Edward, 'woo' me.

"I'm fishing, Nafia." Karson, smiling a little too sweetly, sarcasm dripping from his voice. "You know why I'm here."

"Karson, I don't wanna see you. Can you please leave?" I said, turning around, getting ready to leave.

"Nafia," he said, getting up from the table, grabbing my hand, "just tell me what you want, please. You can't say you completely hate me. I know this will take time, some getting used to, but I'm willing to wait as long as you need. Days, weeks, months, years. I don't care. I'll always be in the wings, waiting for you, whenever you're ready. But just let me know, what else I need to do to make myself worthy of you. I've apologized to you countless times, and I know you well enough to know that you've got a huge heart. You must have forgiven me by now. And if you haven't, Nafi, let me know what else I need to do to be good enough for you?"

My mother just had a smile on her face as she left the kitchen. I looked into his eyes, wanting to use my power, for a split second, because that's just how powerful his gaze was. But I wouldn't give in, no matter what happened. I had hated him my whole life, and I didn't give a fuck that he was my so-called destiny. Was it so wrong to want to be able to choose your one true love? Not that I was ashamed of my heritage, by no means, I wasn't. But…my imprinting with Karson was still something I wasn't the least bit used to. And I had to tell him that. It was only fair. I sighed, saying,

"Look Karson, all of this is really new for me, and I-"

"You're not the only one, Nafia. I still can't get over it either, but did you ever think that maybe this is what's best for us?"

"It's not just that Karson, it's just…I could never see myself with someone like you. And we've talked about this. You say you're going to change, but I don't want you to change."

"What the hell do you want then? You say you have a problem with me because of the way I act, so then I change my obnoxious ways for you, and then you say you don't want me to change? You're such a…a….a…"

"A what, Karson?" I seethed.

"A fucking woman, that's what. Women never fucking know what the hell they want. Make up your damn mind. Geez." Karson said, throwing his hands up in the air, and then letting them drop to his sides, a small frown forming on his face, it was almost…cute…wait, what? I shook my head, snapping out of it.

"Karson, what I'm trying to say is, I don't want you to change because I asked you to, you should change because you want to."

"But Nafia, I'm not changing. You made me realize that I've been pretending all along. The guy that's rude to his mother, that doesn't give any attention to his little siblings, that had slept around with practically every girl in La Push, that's not the real me. Nafia, you're but the instrument. God is the doer."

"Good job on screwing up the quote." I said.

"Hey, I tried, okay?"

And we both burst out laughing, and as I threw my head back, I caught Karson staring at me, and I composed myself again. Which in turn, of course, made the entire situation highly awkward.

"Karson, I think you should go home." I said, smoothing out the non-existent wrinkles on my jeans.

"Nafia, you can't stop it forever you know. One day, it'll happen. One day, you won't want to run at the sight of my face. One day, you'll care about me the way I care about you. I don't see why you're trying to fight it."

"I'm not trying to fight it, Karson…ugh, you wouldn't understand." I said, turning around, ready to leave, when he grabbed my hand and pulled me close, so that his eyes bore into mine, his breath mingling with mine, and before I knew it, his hand snaked around my waist, and his scent…his goddamn irresistible scent washed over me, and I closed my eyes, hoping to stop the thundering of my heart.

"If my presence didn't affect you, your heart wouldn't be beating so fast, and you wouldn't try to hide how uncomfortable being this close to me makes you. And because you don't like the fact that my presence affects you like this, you try to fight it, resist it, and what does that lead to? You only make it obvious you're trying to fight it. I'm not saying you have to fall in love with me right away, because I know this will take time, and I already told you, I'll be waiting right here for you, whenever you're ready. But can we at least try to be friends?"

"I can't do this right now. Please go home, Karson. This is getting ridiculous." I usually wasn't irrational like this but I really did think this was as much as I could take. And judging by the looks of it, Karson had had enough too, because he left, shaking his head, and I had a feeling he was going to go for a run…not because I knew him well, but because that's just what wolves did when their imprints pissed them off. It was a tradition my uncle Paul started so that he wouldn't break any more furniture. Speaking of Uncle Paul, my cousin Mansi was supposed to come home today. And seeing her would take my mind off all this. I decided to head over to Uncle Paul's.

As I got there, a somewhat familiar scent hit me, and I thought I might run into Karson here too, I almost didn't want to go in, but seeing my cousin was important, and a split second later, I realized, this scent wasn't Karson's, he smelled so much…for lack of a better word, fresher. Not that I thought he smelled good…because he didn't. I wasn't one of his lovesick bitches from school. I knocked on the door, and Mansi screamed upon seeing me and I hugged her like no other.

"I MISSED YOU. SO. FREAKING. MUCHHHHH!" We both screamed at the same time, and then started laughing. She led me inside, and I saw Karson's older brother, Dakota. That explained the scent, and I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing here, until I saw the fuming face of my uncle, and I saw how Dakota was looking at my cousin. Oh joy. Another imprint.

"Dakota imprinted on me." Mansi said, a huge blush spreading across her face. Dakota was tolerable, I guess, but I just was annoyed by imprinting in general today.

I nodded, not really knowing what to say. My aunt Rachel, was clearly delighted, but she of course had been trying to hook up Mansi with someone from the time she was like 17 or so. Mansi was never one to really run behind guys, much to Uncle Paul's relief, but Aunt Rachel was always worried she'd be so engrossed in her ambition to acquire her Ph.D, that she'd never get married. Okay, perhaps that was taking it too far, but Aunt Rachel always did complain to my mom that in the 21 years of her life, Mansi never did bring home a boy.

I gave Mansi a hug, because I wasn't going to say anything when she was so happy. Mansi has always been like an older sister to me, and I would hate to be the one to rain on her parade. But did she really have to imprint on Karson's older brother, who also happened to be Noah's best friend? Wouldn't that get slightly awkward? Clearly not, since Mansi already seemed pretty smitten by Dakota…this was getting a little too mushy for me, and I decided to step out for a bit of fresh air. There was a nice breeze in the air, perhaps a bit chilly for the average human, but it was weather like this that I felt was perfect for a run. So I took off into the forest, hoping to forget about every care in the world.

I ran until I was completely out of breath. The human part in me always did slow me down a little, but maybe it gave me a frailty that I wouldn't have had otherwise, growing up around so testosterone, wolf-testosterone no less. I came to the meadow where my grandparents' love had bloomed, and later my own parents, and someday, this is where I wanted my love to bloom as well, but then again, was love even in my destiny? I plopped down, and started humming a tune I had composed with Grandpa a while ago. It had been a while since I had sung or danced for that matter, but singing was Aylen's thing, so that was a different matter altogether. But dancing was my life, and I realized the only way I could survive was through dance. I knew Prather was planning on directing a musical soon, and I wanted to try out for it, hoping to get a part. I got up and just started doing some random ballet routine I had learned a few years ago. And once again, I felt Karson's scent in the air, was he here too? Oh that's right, I had pissed him off and he went for a run. Great, no matter how much I tried to get away from him, he kept on popping up, everywhere I went. I huffed, and turned around, hoping to yell at him to leave. After all, this was MY meadow. What I hadn't expected was his gaze to be so intense. Or maybe a part of me did, and was rather flattered, dare I say it. There was something different about it, this time around…or maybe, just maybe it was my perspective that was changing? No, that can't be it…it most certainly can't, because as he walked towards me, I felt myself take a step back, and before he could do anything, I ran, well-knowing that he could easily catch up to me. But I was rather thankful when he didn't. I sighed. Damn my destiny…and damn everything else.

Author's Note: So one, I suck at updating. But I'm winter break, and hopefully, I can at least redeem myself a little. You all probably hate me by now and don't even care to read anymore, for which I apologize sincerely. But hopefully, this winter break can give me some off-time and I can give you guys some chapters. To anyone who is still reading this, I love you beyond belief and I'm seriously grateful to you all. Thank you so much for all the support. I really can't have done it without you guys. Now onto to write chapter 10 =].