Sorry this took so long guys, I had to figure out how I wanted this chap to play out. And here it is! Thanks for your support those of you who've been reading and reviewing this fic! Starts in Don's POV.
Ch.10-Forgive or Forget ?
Raphael is still acting out of sorts. And to be honest, Leonardo's attempts to keep tabs on the red-masked turtle twenty-four –seven aren't helping.
I can't even begin to think of how all this tension is affecting Michelangelo. He's still Mikey of course, but lately his smiles have been…tense, for lack of a better word. I can tell that Raph's change in demeanor is really worrying him.
The four of us thought Raph had been bad before…but, looking back, it seems almost trivial compared to his behavior of late. The silence is extremely haunting. Raphael has always been loud, or at least he used to be. Now it's mind-boggling just how quiet our hotheaded brother can be. Over the past few days my immediate older brother had managed to unintentionally sneak up on me on at least three separate occasions. Which could mean one of two things: 1.) My skills are way out of practice or 2.) Raph's stealth abilities have improved…drastically.
I heard the soft shuffling of feet and a couple of off grunts. I glanced up through the open door of the lab and into the main room just in time to see the tips of red bandana tails.
What is Raph doing up at this hour?
I stepped cautiously out of the lab in time to see my immediate older brother headed straight for the lair door. He was less than ten feet away when I pushed the lab door open with a gently swish. Raph's shoulders tensed and he turned to face me slowly. I crossed my arms over my plastron and gave him a stern stare. "Well?"
"Well what, brainiac?" he retorted angrily.
"I'm not going to bother asking you where you're going. The answer to that is fairly obvious, as we both know. However I am waiting for your explanation."
My older brother bristled. "Well, ya ain't gonna get it."
"Oh I think I will. All I have to do is have patience and wait. After all, you obviously won't be leaving now."
"Oh, yeah and who's going to stop me, genius?" Raphael growled in my face.
"We both know I won't be able to stop you Raph." I stared straight back at him, "But that doesn't mean I won't wake the others as soon as you've gone and send Leo trudging after you."
The red-masked turtle's fists clenched and he snarled. One thing I can say about my hotheaded brother: he knows when he's been beaten. "Damn you Don! I was just going out to blow off some steam."
"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to buy that Raphael." The hothead sighed with frustration and a short silence passed before I spoke again. "You were going to look for that Jade girl weren't you?" I asked quietly.
Raph's bright green eyes narrowed. "No."
"No?"
"No."
"Do you swear it?" My question was met with silence. Ever since we were little, almost all of my confrontations with Raph contained this same question. Strangely enough, every time I asked I was surprised that he met me with honest answers.
"I swear." He stated, all the previous hostility drained from his voice, now replaced by exhaustion. I suspect from the dark rings under his eyes he hasn't been getting much sleep lately. My worry increased and I stepped closer to him, putting a soft, reassuring hand on his shoulder. He glanced up at me softly and when he spoke his voice was hushed. "I'm not sure I ever want to see her again."
I glanced down at him, my eye-ridges furrowed. Raph's behavior lately has really been throwing us off. Not only as a team, but as a family. He's been acting so distant…like right now for example. His green eyes stare off into nothingness and he gets this unreadable expression on his face. It's…disconcerting to say the least. I know that I should keep going: press him further until he tells me the truth. But I just can't bring myself to do it. Something in the hotheaded turtle's confused, melancholy expression made me come up short. I frowned slightly before whispering gently, "Why don't you go to bed, Raph? Get some sleep. We both know you need it. We can talk more about this tomorrow." Despite my last sentence I knew that we would probably never bring up the subject again. That's just the way Raph is. Besides, I'm not too sure pestering my older brother even more is a good idea in the first place.
"Alright Don." He agreed resignedly and I nodded. I watched him head back down the hall to his room and heard the door close behind him before I turned and returned to my lab. I started to close the door and paused for a moment before I left it open. Just in case Raph was stubborn enough to try again, though I think the odds are against it. Then again, my hotheaded brother has defied more odds than anyone else I've ever met, and I doubt he's going to start caring about numbers now. Oh Raph…What are we going to do with you?
The following morning…(third person POV)
Dark blue eyes opened slowly, still clouded with sleep. The eldest turtle yawned as he reluctantly rolled out of bed onto his feet. Leonardo put his arms over his head and stretched with a sleepy yawn. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and pulled his mask off the bed-side table, knotting it tightly behind his head. He left the room, closing his door quietly behind him. When Leo reached the kitchen he found the youngest turtle already there making breakfast.
"What's for breakfast?" He asked with a yawn, still a little tired. Yesterday's training had really worn him out…
"Pizza omlettes with anchovies and algae, want some?" Michelangelo replied excitedly.
Leo grimaced and held up a hand, "Thanks, I'll pass. I think I'll just settle for some cereal."
"Sure thing." Mikey replied, skipping happily over to the cabinet and returning with the box of cereal, milk and a bowl. The leader poured the cereal and milk into his bowl. Michelangelo watched his older brother eating for a moment before speaking a quieter, more serious tone, "Ey Leo, you seen Raph?"
Leo looked up curiously, pausing in his chewing to answer, "Not since last night Mikey."
The youngest turtle glanced up at the oldest with fearful eyes, "He's not in his room..."
Deep blue eyes narrowed as he put the spoon back in his bowl, staring at his younger brother apprehensively. "Well where is he then?" Leonardo could already tell he wasn't going to like the answer.
Mikey frowned openly now, his face all seriousness. "If I knew, do you really think I would have asked?"
Leo leaned over and took another bite and the orange-masked turtle saw his older brother's grip on the spoon tighten. Leonardo took a few more bites of his cereal before he pushed away from the counter and headed straight for Don's lab and knocked quietly. The leader waited until he heard a soft 'come in' before pushing the door open and entering in one smooth gesture.
"Hey Donnie is Raph in here? Mikey said he wasn't in his room."
Don looked up from his current project with a frown on his face. "Sorry Leo, Raph's not here." Leonardo turned to leave, but Donatello called him back. Leo looked at the inventor curiously and Donnie spoke up, "Last night I caught him trying to sneak out on his own again." The leader frowned disapprovingly but Don went on, "He said he needed to blow off steam, but I don't think he was telling the truth. He wanted to think about something Leo. Whatever it is that's bothering him, he still hasn't gotten over it yet. I don't know what to do but I advise we tread carefully. Especially you, Leo. Heaven knows Raph loves embroiling you into fights more than the rest of us, and to be honest he really doesn't need the stress of another fight on his shoulders right now. Just…go easy on him, okay? We won't gain anything by frustrating him."
Leonardo nodded and left the lab, heading straight for the dojo. He needed to meditate on the situation with Raphael, and hope that they would be able to find a solution. But as soon as he enetered said room, he was struck dumb by what he saw. The eldest rubbed his eyes disbelievingly and looked again, but the image remained the same.
Raphael was sitting in the center of the dojo. Just…sitting there cross-legged in the middle of the dojo. Without a care in the world. His eyes were tightly closed and a look on his face that spoke of pure concentration.
Fearless cleared his throat and asked the inevitable question, "Raph, what are you doing in here?"
The look of concentration vanished, replaced by the hot green glare the blue-masked turtle knew so well. "What's it look like shell fer brains? I'm training!"
" Looks more like you're meditating." Leo replied.
Raphael closed his eyes again and growled. "I'm trying to, yeah. Only a certain idiot named Lame-o-nardo, is keeping me from doing it!"
"You? Meditating?" The eldest smiled. After a few seconds the grin turned into a hearty chuckle.
Raph's glare returned, "So what? I can focus just as good as you can when I want to."
Leo stopped laughing and addressed his sibling with a smile half playful and half serious, "Yes, but why would you want to?"
Raphael rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Gee, I don't know. Maybe I was kinda hoping it was 'train in the dojo without playing a game of twenty questions with Leo' day." He replied, his voice dripping with sarcasm and displeasure.
"Raph," Leo said sternly, his voice warning Raph not to bite his head off just because he was poking a little fun at him.
He just sighed, "Leo, you mind? I'm training here."
Leo sighed resignedly, "Fine, if that's the way you want it, Raph." A strange weapon in Raph's belt caught his eyes and it took a moment for him to register what it was, " You still have that?!"
Raphael glanced up at him in confusion, "Have what?"
"The jitte!" The eldest exclaimed pointing at it. Raph looked down at it slowly before looking back up at his older brother.
"Yeah I still have it! She got one and I got one! What's it to you?" He asked, not really understanding why Leo was so surprised.
"You should show it to master splinter and Don, it could be important."
"Yeah, tell it to the masses, I'm practicing with it right now."
Leonardo stared at his younger brother as though he'd just grown a second head, "You haven't practiced with jitte in years, and besides you don't need to, the sai are the exact same thing anyway!"
Raphael's eyes narrowed exponentially and he growled, "They aren't the same thing, fearless!"
"They're similar!" the eldest retorted.
"Urgh!"
Leo opened his mouth to continue, but then Donnie's words from earlier came flooding back to him. 'He really doesn't need the stress of another fight on his shoulders right now.' With a sigh Leo let it slide and instead said, "Okay Raph, just don't go overboard with the training okay? And you don't have to show anyone the jitte if you don't want to. Just do what you think is right. I'll see you later." with that the blue-masked turtle left the dojo and it was Raph's turn to stare.
Raphael's POV
Did that really just happen?
I rolled my eyes. Whatever. Leo's weird.
After Don caught me on my way out last night I realized that my brothers wouldn't be so easily deterred. Unfortunately they haven't stopped pestering me since the night I came home upset. This morning I woke up early and headed straight for the dojo. Once there, I found myself unable to remember what I had been planning to do in the first place. So I just plopped down in the middle of the room and tried to recall it. However, after about a minute my mind turned to the focus of my thoughts for the past few days…Midori.
Despite our falling out, I hadn't been able to stop thinking about her. I had yet to come to a decision on whether or not I wanted to see her again. I found myself constantly pondering the old saying 'forgive and forget', but to be honest right now I'm walking the line between the two.
I stared at the door that Leo had left through before getting up off the floor. I held a sai in one hand, a jitte in the other, and began practicing my katas. I felt the jitte's weight in my hand, learning the motions and the spin of it again after all these years. Though my body was going one by one through the movements of the katas, my mind raced back to the problem I had been pondering all morning.
I'm not sure I should forgive her, that is see her again. There is really nothing I need to forgive her for…I mean, she upset me, yes, but I had gotten over that quick enough. What bothers me is that this vengeance of hers is a problem that's not about to go away and I don't really want to be dragged into it. Then again, I don't want her to get hurt because of her own stupidity. But if she insists on putting her life in harm's way how am I supposed to stop her? I can't. That much is plain to see. The only solution would be helping her. And making sure she didn't get hurt of course. Easier said than done.
I've already tried forgetting her, and I can see where that's gotten me. So that leaves me with one option. Forgive her, and help her. But how? How can I help her? How can I assist her without dragging my family into it and putting them in danger?
Of course!
Midori's POV
It had been almost a month since I'd last seen Raph. Even though I barely knew the strange turtle mutant, I felt even more lost without him. I didn't know what to do. I had fought and decimated at least ten Foot robot patrols over the past few days and I haven't so much as caught sight of my reptilian friend. I was worried. I can only hope that the turtle will forgive me for what I said that day. I was being overly emotional and I had no idea of what he'd been through. It was unfair of me to assume that my life was so painful that not even he could understand.
He's a turtle for goodness sake! He's probably been an outcast all of his life and there I was whining about how my life was a living hell! Sometimes I really hate myself. Poor Raph. His mother and his sister. I wish I could tell him how sorry I am. But if Saki killed his mother, then he probably hates Shredder just as much as I do, and yet he doesn't seek revenge. I don't understand how he can do it. But if Shredder is his enemy, which I'm pretty certain he would be, then maybe he knows who the owners of these ninja stars are. Or more importantly where Hamato Yoshi is… I know that Raph is probably still mad at me, but maybe, just maybe he'll forgive me. But how can I get him to fogive me if I can't even find him?
Of Course!
I opened the drawer of my desk and pulled out the small slip of paper with the turtle's number on it. I dialed it and waited. It rang several times before going to voicemail. I frowned and hung up. Does this mean that Raph doesn't want to talk to me? But he doesn't know my number either, so maybe he just didn't want to answer a strange call. Well, at least I can try sending a text message.
My fingers made a quiet tap on the phone's screen as I typed away, 'Hey, Raph. It's me. About what I said in our argument, I made a selfish assumption and I'm sorry.' I paused, unsure of what to say next, 'I can understand if you no longer wish to help me, but I really want to tell you about something. It's really important. Please, meet me on top of my uncle's apartment building at ten o'clock tonight. We need to talk. I hope you can forgive me. –Yamamoto Midori.'
Send.
(Third Person POV)
It was half-past nine that night when April and Casey arrived at the lair. The hockey-masked vigilante ran straight to Raphael's room and burst through the door.
"Yo Raph!" he said cheerfully
Raph glared up at him, arms crossed over his plastron. "What are you doing here, gakface?" The red-masked turtle smack talked, obviously still bitter.
Casey remained oblivious and smiled good-naturedly. "What's it matter, hosebrain? I came to see ya."
"More like fearless sent ya to spy on me." Raph muttered.
"Aw come on Raph, lighten up." Jones punched him in the shoulder and he jumped slightly.
"Goddammit why is everyone treating me like something's wrong?"
"Because you're acting like it, Raph! Leo told me you've barely been out of your room and Mikey says you've hardly eaten a bite. You're not acting like yourself, dude. It's scaring them."
"So Leo did send you! I knew it!"
"Oh come on, Raph you really think I'd let Leo boss me around like that?"
"Yes!"
"No I-" the human paused before sighing melodramatically, "Well I guess you're right, but you can't still be mad at me for what happened yesterday."
"Oh no?" Raph snarled.
"Look I had to tell him okay?! He was about to filet me into bite sized pieces the next time he saw me!"
"Fearless?" Raphael snorted, "Yeah right." The turtle grabbed his sais off the bed and rushed out of the room, a confused Casey right on his heels.
"Whoa, where you going, dude?"
"Don't 'dude' me dude. I'm going out." Raphael stated as they arrived in the main room.
"Oh no, Raph." Leo stated, crossing his arms over his plastron. "Not now, it's time for dinner and then we're going out on patrol."
"Come on, Fearless. I've been training all day I want to get out in the field. Giving me a half-hour head start won't hurt."
Leo's eyes narrowed, but he nodded. "Alright just be careful."
"As always." Raph replied.
Leonardo stared at him with a frown. "Meet us at the start of the patrol route."
"Sure thing, Fearless." And with that he was gone.
The eldest turtle sighed and Jones stared after his friend with a confused stare. "That was weird."
"Now you know how we've felt for the past month." Donatello stated.
Raphael landed on the roof of the apartment building at ten o'clock precisely. He was surprised when his gaze fell upon black and red armor instead of Midori's everyday clothing. "I thought Midori wanted to talk to me." He stated, making her turn around and face him.
"She does. And she is. I have a couple of Foot patrol roots to trace later and I thought I'd save myself the pain of getting dressed in a hurry."
He paused. "If Midori wanted to talk to me Jade should have ditched the disguise."
"Why? What difference would it have made? The person underneath it is still the same."
"Thank goodness for that." He answered quietly and she smiled beneath the mask. She realized at that very moment how much she had missed having him around.
"I'm glad that you decided to forgive me."
"I didn't say that." he replied, the smile beneath her mask melting away into a serious and troubled expression. Raphael went on, "I want to help you, but I can't put my family at risk. If they get dragged into this…"
"I understand." She replied. "I would have done the same. You don't have to help if you don't want to."
"No, I-" he paused, trying to find the right words, "I promised you I'd help and I intend to keep the promise."
Her black visor turned towards him, her expression behind the mask one of total awe and admiration. "Thank you." She whispered, her voice full of emotion.
"You're welcome." He replied.
"Don't suppose you'd be willing to accompany me tonight?" She said after a long awkward pause.
"Nope, sorry. I promised my brothers I'd patrol with them tonight." Jade nodded in understanding before she realized something.
"Brothers?" She asked somewhat surprised.
"Long story." The turtle replied, his tone indicating he was unwilling to say anything more on the subject.
"Alrighty then." Midori stated, the red-masked turtle happy that she hadn't tried to press him any further.
"Catch." Raph tossed something at her and she caught it on pure reflex. It was the jitte from that night on the docks. But why? The reptile laughed at her expression and answered, "I figured you might as well have the complete set." He readied his sais and Midori raised an eyebrow behind her helmet. "Well what are you waiting for?"
"What?" she asked in confusion.
"I'm trying to teach you how to use em, kid."
"Oh and you're an expert?" She retorted with a smirk.
Raphael mirrored her expression and circled her slowly, sais still at the ready. "That's right I am. In case you haven't noticed the Sai is a derivative of the jitte. Only difference is they've only got one prong and they're heavier."
"That's two differences dimwit." She replied mock-offendingly and he glared good-naturedly.
"Shut up and listen, best way to learn is to do. Bring it on, brat."
"You asked for it, reptile."
"Just in case you didn't already know: number one use of the prongs: disarm your enemies."
They sparred contentedly for several minutes before calling it quits. Raphael had to admit she was awful quick for a beginner. After a while she'd be really skillful with the jitte, if today's progress was anything to go by. The emerald-skinned turtle checked the time and realized it was time for patrol. "Look, M, I gotta go. My brothers are waiting for me."
"Sure thing. See you tomorrow?" She asked hopefully and the turtle grinned.
"I'll try." He muttered before jumping off the building, leaving Midori alone once again, but now she had a smile on her face.
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