10
Shepard was lying in his bed, watching the stars flit by as the Normandy continued on its course to the Citadel. Anderson wanted to see him, and there was that business with the one The Illusive Man called the Thief. It wasn't these things that were most prominent in his mind however. He was worried about Team Fortress. So far since they had thawed out, every place they had visited, the team left them as smoldering wrecks. They managed to get away with it so far because each spot was a warzone, Terminus system warzones. This was the Citadel. He shuddered when he thought about what the mercenaries would do.
A bit away from him, his PC was streaming the latest newscast it picked up. "…in flames. However, Mann Co CEO Seamus Hale reportedly dismissed such accusations of his involvement." The even toned woman proceeded to read a quote from Mr. Hale, even going so far as to try and mimic his accent. "I know I done did say I was gonna make those mercenary scumbags pay for their attack on Mann World, but I meant it as a form of economic sanction and litigatious action. I'm pretty sure that's something you can do. Jeeves said that was a big confusing word, so I'll just go with that."
"In other news, Eden Prime just can't cut a break; as amidst reconstruction, there has been yet another attack, this time on one of the larger freight companies. TEAL shipping was suddenly attacked only a couple of days ago. Witnesses claim that the attack happened suddenly and explosively, but since the attack neither involved Geth, nor did the fighting spread to anywhere else, most colonists chose to ignore it, claiming that stuff like that happened to TEAL all the time. A spokesperson of TEAL had this to say:"
The woman's face cut to a man in blue attire and a false smile that looked like someone propped his lips up with toothpicks. "We are a dedicated company that wants to see the well-being of all blue loving mankind, especially here on Eden Prime. This attack was just the latest of many poorly educated pirates who hate the color blue and all blue shaded colors, and also are traitors to their own race. Rest assured, we are well aware of this problem and are taking steps to ensure retaliation is swift and just on those evil, red-loving humanity haters."
"We interrupt this program, as we have just learned that there has been an attack on Thessia. Apparently a group of unknown assailants had bought in, and…escorted a large explosive into the heart of an R&D building of Biotic Burgundy, a startup company with rumored ties to the well-known RED corporation."
Shepard sighed. Fights between companies like this happened all the time, but only now did he see that there was something much deeper than one business trying to cripple another. It was all part of some stupid war between two crazy men. How he never saw it until now…
He snapped out of his thoughts by a notice from his intercom. "Commander" said Joker, "we'll be approaching the Citadel in a couple hours, you may want to come down and get your team set up."
"Thanks for the heads up Joker." Shepard replied and shut it off. He stood up and stretched, giving one more look at the stars before making his way down. He suddenly remembered he fulfilled a request for Mordin, although it was very odd for a Salarian.
…Normandy Bio Lab…
"Mordin I bought the shipment you requested, though I don't see why you'd need 3 barrels of Mars Lager for…?" Shepard stopped dead as he opened the door. In front of him was the Engineer trying hard to keep a straight face, and the Salarian doctor, but totally changed from when he first came aboard. He had developed a lot of extra muscle mass, was noticeably taller, and had a larger brown moustache taped above his lips, waxed and groomed into a much more luxurious and manly piece of facial hair than the one he had roughly glued to his face on Korlus. He was in the process of draining the tap of a crate of the Cerberus supplied alcohol into his large mug when he looked up and smiled broadly. "Oh cheers mate! Was afraid of running dry for a second there and was gob smacked for a bit." the doctor replied with a thick, stereotypical Australian accent. The kind of 'someone-who-has-never-heard-a -real-Australian-and-only-speaks-the-way-they-think-they-talk-like' type of accent.
"Are you alright Mordin?"
The Salarian laughed after he downed his mug, picking the beery foam gently off his moustache. "Grinning like a shot fox Shepard. Why ask?"
The Engineer smiled. "Lemme handle this boss. Hey Mordin! Remember that metal I gave ya? Mind tossin it back, I need to do some brainstormin'." Mordin nodded and reached into his pocket and tossed the golden ball towards the Engineer. As soon as it left his hands, Mordin blinked. His moustache fell off his face.
"What happened?" Mordin asked innocently, without his accent.
The Engineer chuckled. "Told ya Australium does that buddy. Y'need to keep the metal encased in lead whenever y'ain't using it otherwise you get this sorta thing." The Engineer gestured to Mordin's increased body frame while he pulled out a small box and place the metal inside. "Y'should have some stuff returnin to normal. Though some other stuff I'm afraid are kinda stuck. Such as that thing yer doin right now." He pointed to Mordin, who was unconsciously bending a bar of metal. Mordin looked down and dropped the bent ingot.
"Oh. This is quite an odd phenomenon. Perhaps I can keep that Austrailium for study?"
Engineer shook his head. "Sorry buddy, that's probably not a good idea at this point, you may wanna give it a break for a while before you study this thing. In the meantime, doesn't Shepard want ya to study something else?"
Mordin nodded. "Of course, of course. Mind is becoming clear again. Experiment was progressing slowly before. Constant need for alcohol and half brained ideas of converting Collector Swarms into trained moustache groomers kept interrupting studies. Should resume at normal pace now. Thank you Shepard. Engineer." Mordin nodded to both Shepard and the Engineer. As Shepard left Mordin called out. "Would not want that lager to go to waste. Please have that sent up. Thank you!"
…Normandy Cargo Decks…
"Again."
Grunt groaned as he picked up the metal pole off the ground. It was about as long as the Demoman's great sword, at least by Krogan standards. He fastened his grip on the bar and faced his target once more. He shouted at the top of his lungs and charged at the deactivated robot. The Shako one his head drooped down, but Grunt did not allow such a drop in his headwear stop him. He swung the bar and the mech's head came off.
"Good. Yer aim is getting' better. It's all well and dandy tae have a gun, but when that blasted thing runs outta ammo, ye better have something better than just yer fists. That is, iffn' ye want to win." Demoman nodded. He took another swig of his whiskey.
"Now, try again. Only this time we'll try with somethin' bigger. We need tae see what sorta sword'll work best fer ye."
"The omni-blade should be fine." Grunt said.
Demoman scoffed. "There ye go again, relyin' on fancy gadgets forgettin' ye need a fallback when yer toy dunna want to work anymore." He reached back and took out a longer, heavier looking bar of metal. "Try running that bot through with this. Square in the middle now."
"COMMANDING OFFICER ON DECK!" Soldier shouted again.
"At ease." Shepard sighed. He waited till his Team Fortress gathered round him. "Alright, soon we'll be docking with the Citadel, which means temporary shore leave." A few woops and shouts rose from the gathering. Seeing the apex of what the future had to offer besides gun toting maniacs was something that really excited many Team Fortress members. Shepard settled them down. "I know you are excited, but remember, this is Citadel space. Being humans, you represent the Alliance with every action you take, so please: Try to be on your best behavior. Then be even better." Shepard said. "No pulling out weapons unless someone threatens you with one first. No intimidating shopkeepers or passerby without legitimate reasons. No doing what it is you usually do."
"Commander Shepard, you offend us." Spy said with mock surprise. "Do not worry, we are accustomed to working with ze public, we will be fine."
"What about that incident with Santa at the mall?" Scout said. Spy elbowed the teen in the ribs without even breaking his smile or looking away from Shepard.
"Rest assured nozing bad will happen."
…Citadel Customs Office…
"Shepard, enter the password and receive a free gift." One of the advertising terminals chimed. Shepard looked at the odd out of place device. He approached the terminal.
"Password?" The hooded woman asked with a false smile.
"Silence is Golden." The woman smiled genuinely this time.
"Good to meet Commander Shepard. Kasumi Goto. I see you have quite the entourage." Shepard looked back at the members of his team, all milling about the customs office while they waited for Shepard to give them the 'okay' to proceed. Most of them were. Heavy was poking at a Hanar's tentacles, while the offended creature tried to tell him to stop in his most polite, but still most offended voice possible. Engineer was absorbing all the information about the Citadel that he could from an information kiosk, and Spy was nowhere to be found as usual.
"Is there a reason for the secrecy?"
"I'm a thief commander. To be one I have to stay sharp. Well that and being told I would be working not only for THE Commander Shepard, but also THE Team Fortress, you can understand why I was skeptical. Even if the pay was huge, and it was huge. Still, a message like that is prone to raise eyebrows."
On the view screen of the terminal, the Spy suddenly appeared behind Kasumi. "Mmmm, I wouldn't mind seeing yours, or ze rest of your lovely face mademoiselle."
Kasumi spun around and gasped, reflexively throwing a haymaker at the Spy, who dodged it. "Spy? How'd you get there? Where are you?" Shepard asked.
…Kasumi's Roost…
"I just followed ze sound of zis charming lady's oh so hypnotizing voice." Spy smiled.
Kasumi wasn't sure whether to be surprised, flattered, or gag. She turned back to Shepard. "This is the Spy right? Wow, you guys really are the real deal. That should really help."
Shepard raised one of his eyebrows this time. "Help with what?"
Spy caught on pretty fast. "Oh I understand. Part of ze contract non? To join ze Team, you need us for somezing. Am I right?"
Kasumi nodded. "That's it. Bit of a heist, nothing too fancy. Well actually it is quite fancy."
"Well then you can brief Spy all about it. He's all about espionage and sabotage. I'm sure stealing something priceless fits in there somewhere."
Kasumi chuckled. "I suppose it would. I'll fill him in Commander."
"Welcome aboard Kasumi." Shepard said with finality and walked off. This sort of mission sounded right up Spy's alley. If it was too much, he trusted Spy to come to him if it was too difficult.
Kasumi turned to the Spy. "Well this is a bit of an open place, so if you don't mind I'll be scant on the details. All I can say right now, is that I'm infiltrating the home of a weapons dealer. One named Donovon Hock."
"And what is ze target? Jewels? A secret wall safe? Indecent photos of himself?"
Kasumi laughed at that last one. "Nothing so bland no. He has my partner's graybox. It's sort of a memory storage device. I intend to get it back. Hock has a party planned, so I feel that will be the best time to infiltrate his home."
"Mmmm, zis is starting to sound much like some dramatic spy movie back before I was frozen…"
"I suppose it does have a dramatic tone to it, but that's how it is. I'll brief you later…in private." Kasumi teased. She wasn't actually planning anything naughty, but she knew that would keep the Spy interested.
"I await with bated breath mademoiselle."
…Citadel, Various Floors…
Team Fortress had of taken to the whole future thing surprisingly well. The Sniper had gone up a few levels to a shop selling hunting weapons and, from what he heard, under the counter sniper upgrades. While the Sniper felt his current weapon was fine, that didn't mean there wasn't room for improvement. He was in a heated discussion with the Turian shopkeeper, earning glares from various other customers as the line continued to build.
Grunt and the Demoman had gone to one of the lower levels to the Mann Co. Munitions. As they entered, an automated recording played. "I'm Seamus Hale, and this the best store on the Citadel. Anyone who tells ya otherwise is a damn dirty hippy!" They were unable to do much however, as the store was swamped by mercenaries (mostly Krogans) swapping Mann Co weapons, but this did not inconvenience the Demoman much. He turned to Grunt "This here boy is the promised land. Here ye can pay a nominal fee for quality death deliverin' merchandise or if ye feel lucky, ye can trade it away fer something else with one o' the other folk here."
Even as he spoke one such mercenary, a wicked looking Turian with an unnecessary number of spikes on his armor held up a mine laying sticky launcher declaring "Trade for a Strange Solar-Powered Scorcher."
"Oooh, go get that un' fer me!" Demoman said. He shoved a Strange Solar-Powered Scorcher into Grunt's hands and pushed him forward. "Go on laddie, earn some experience in the open market! Do me proud!"
The Medic was visiting a Sirta Foundation shop discussing the finer points of making a more efficient medi gel. Of course, being the Medic, his methods of application was leaving the people in the Foundation very disturbed though he paid no mind to it. The Engineer had wandered into a group of Quarians. They were cautious at first, but the Engineer's fascination with their modded gear eventually warmed them up to him. By the end of the day, he had increased heat dump of his sentry to allow it to fire for an even longer duration.
The Heavy and Scout were oddly enough in the Dark Star Lounge. They had found themselves in the middle of the dance floor, looking very out of place. The Heavy finally broke the ice. "Want to dance?" Heavy asked as he started doing a simple jig.
"Sure why not." Scout answered back. Probably to show off or maybe to display the muscles Scout believed he had, he took off his shirt and started dancing in a crowd of Asari.
The Pyro…well the Pyro was missing for most of the time and the less that is elaborated the better.
Shepard was of course visiting Anderson and explaining to the Council how the heck a bunch of omni-sim characters were suddenly tearing their way through the Terminus systems, ending with him being reinstated to the Spectres, and at a later point, was secretly given a request by the Turian Councilor to get the Sniper's autograph. It war around that time when Joker called in and told them the Illusive Man wanted to talk. The first thing to do was find Soldier…
…Citadel Mann Co. Warehouse…
Mann Co. commonly made extra money by selling its warehouse space to RED and BLU. The place was sort of a neutral ground for mercenaries from both sides to trade equipment between each other. Of course that didn't stop them from killing each other as well. Any little thing could set off a powder keg that could turn the trading post into an arena. The Soldier stumbled onto such a place. The first thing he did was recoil at the sight of a RED and BLU Heavy comparing shotguns. The next thing he did was pull out his rocket launcher and fired a critted rocket at the two.
…Citadel Zakera Ward…
"What the hell's got C-Sec all worried?" Shepard asked as he approached the blockade. The Officer, a tall intimidating Turian, held up a hand "Step back sir, there is a gang war in progress in the lower levels. We are currently trying to contain the fighting."
"But my shop is down there!" shouted one person.
"That changes nothing." The Turian shouted back. "Until the situation can be resolved, all civilians are to stay out of the lower levels."
"No need to worry." Shepard smiled. "Let me in. Let me take my team in there. We can defuse this without the hassle that C-Sec goes through trying to get clear orders from the top."
"Why should I let you in instead of any of those other weirdoes wanting in?" he gestured with his rifle at the crowds of shifty looking Krogans, humans, Asari, and an ill-looking Volus."
"Because unlike them, I'm a Spectre. Let me in, and my team will fix your problem. Best part is that with me involved, you don't have to fill out any paperwork. Just call it Spectre business, and you can wash your hands of the situation."
The Turian grinded his mouth plates together; not contemplating the decision, but trying to figure out what the hell 'wash your hands of it' meant. Eventually he gave up on it, and radioed ahead. He gestured to Shepard and the newly re-appointed Council Spectre, alongside his large entourage moved past the blockade to the sound of fighting.
"Commander, why're we getting involved in this?" Miranda muttered. "The Illusive Man does not like to be kept waiting."
"Something tells me if I go to the center of this problem, I'll find Soldier." Shepard replied.
…Citadel Industrial District…
Initially it was just another war between RED and BLU. The fighting however spilled out when a Demoman had accidentally detonated a payload of sticky grenades right under a crate of Mann Co. Baby Formula. Given the volatile nature of all Mann Co. products, it predictably set off a chain reaction with several crates exploding, compounding on each other to generate an explosion that leveled half the warehouse, and spooked many locals. By locals, a more accurate term could be rival mercenaries and gangs who all mistakenly thought someone was making a hit on their respective turf. The end result was RED, BLU, several mercenary bands, and dozens of local gangs all fighting it out with each other in a Battle Royale.
This was where Soldier was at his most comfortable.
He fired a rocket at a pocket of BLU scouts exchanging shotgun fire with several very colorful looking humans. Probably their gang colors. It was offensive to his eyes, and he aimed his next rocket at them. Uncouth teenagers with their bad haircuts and their dyed underwear, it was like watching hippies. Hippies tripping on their hippy drugs. Disgusting. An explosion later, and the Soldier made the galaxy a better place. BLU, not noticing the loss of a few scouts, but instead thinking it was a push, redirected many of their forces towards the brightly colored gang members, who were only equipped with barely functioning second hand weapons. They didn't help against the Mann Co. sponsored BLU Heavies who rushed into their main position. As the gang members fell back, they found themselves cornered by Eclipse mercenaries who were in turn fighting a three way battle between RED, Blue Suns, and a different gang made up of Turians and Quarians. Now faced with four enemies, the Eclipse tried to make a push to somewhere safer by going for what they thought was the weakest link in the wall of soldiers. They chose wrong and tried to run headlong into RED. The RED Demomen had a field day with the Eclipse mechs, and the pyros made short work of their operators. The survivors rallied and dug in even deeper to their little patch as RED pushed forward against them and the Blue Suns(whom RED had mistaken as new BLU recruits). With this sudden weakness the Turian/Quarian gangers tried to use the chaos to bring their explosives in to tear the Eclipse apart. None of them noticed the RED and BLU spies, When the sapper teams managed to get into position, the engineers were horrified when their entire 'team' dropped their disguises. Their work done, the spies from the opposite teams noticed each other, complimented their amazing fashion sense, and then got right back to killing each other.
As the elevator door opened, Shepard was greeted to a flying body of a Salarian flopping right in front of him. He armed his gun. "If I was Soldier, where would I be?"
Team Fortress as one all said "Mann Co. Munitions"
Grunt raised a…well his gesture was equivalent to a human raising an eyebrow. "How would you know-"
The Demoman guided Grunt's sight to the top of the Mann Co. Munitions store. Right on top was the Soldier, standing next to dozens of crates of rockets. Barely audible over the din of gunfire and explosions was the Soldier shouting as loud as he could. "I am the Judge, Jury and Firing Squad of all you pea shooting, panty wearing maggots! Make this easy on yourselves and stand still! C'mere you cupcakes, drag your butts over here so I can kick those collective asses!"
"Of course. Make for munitions!" Shepard declared.
What followed was a great battle where Shepard and his entire team fought towards the Soldier, discipline him for being the Soldier, and another great battle that would have made fighting a legion of geth, collectors, and reaper turned robot husk things look like a grade schoolyard spat between some kids. But due to the sheer awesomeness of said battle, it would have been impossible to accurately portray the sheer glory of the fight and the greatness of Team Shepard, and any attempt to do so would only look stupid, and the author who tried to attempt it would feel stupid. However, what can be said is that thanks to a message over the comms of both RED and BLU, both sides stopped their fighting when it was clear they and Team Shepard were the only combatants still alive. What that message was, both RED and BLU only gave Shepard an ominous reply: "The Tenth will tell you."
Following that, C-Sec came in to clean up the wards, confiscate any working weapons, and disposing of the bodies. Shepard and his team quietly left, more pressing matters calling to their attention.
…Normandy CIC Room…
"Commander, what took so long?" The Illusive Man, face still unreadable, had raised his tone to slightly miffed.
"A concern with Team Fortress involving…well Team Fortress issues. I would say 'won't happen again' but I have no way of guaranteeing that."
The Illusive Man blew a puff from his cigarette and waved his hand. "Well what's important is that you are here now. We got something concerning the Collectors just now."
Shepard suddenly became much more attentive. "Where?"
"The Human colony of Horizon just went dark. We think the Collectors may be planning to hit them, if not already. If you hurry, you might even be able to save the colony. Does your doctor have a solution to the Seeker Swarms yet?"
"Now that you ask, I'll check."
"He'd better, we won't have another chance like this. Get going Shepard." The Illusive Man cut his link and Shepard's image faded from view. He turned and looked at a datapad that was given to him just moments before Shepard spoke with him. Its title was "Mann Co. Confidential: Unauthorized viewers must tear out their eyeballs and surrender them to Mann Co posthaste."
He scrolled down and started to read the urgent message: "The Mann brothers are restless again. Wars between the two are reaching low levels that have only been seen twice before. This indicates most likely that-" the screen blurred, to be replaced with the text "You are not a Mann Co. employee. Please pluck out your own eyes and mail them to Mann Co. Subject: I was being naughty"
This was unsettling. For Mann Co. to employ such security must mean whatever they were covering up was very important. If Mann Co. was worried, then Cerberus had best pay close attention to the issue.
…Jack's Corner…
Jack was punching the wall. "Are you serious?! I missed a fight like that?! Dammit, why did I-" she punched her dent in the wall in frustration again.
The Heavy was impassive. "Why such problem?"
"I'm like you Heavy. I need to kick at least one ass a day or it's a shitty day." She punched her fist into her open palm. "Lemme be honest with you. The reason I am like I am? Cerberus did this to me. They saw a little biotic girl, and figured pain makes the power grow. So they tortured me all my life, pumping me full of god knows what to see if they could make the strongest human biotic." She leaned in. "Well they sure as hell got it. In fact I gave each of those fuckers a personal demonstration." She slunk back to her small bed.
"I'm like you Heavy. I just keep taking it and taking it, and then throw it on anyone who gets in my way." The Heavy shook his head. "No, that not me."
"How is that not like you?" Jack scoffed. "I mean, what else is there? You are a freaking Salarian murder machine. You kill assholes and you're damn good at it. What else is there? What else is there to anything?"
The Heavy sat across Jack and sighed. "I know life is bad. I know that there times when you want killing to be done. When you so angry but the only thing that make you feel good is crushing some puny baby's skull." The Heavy's face turned into a dark scowl as he looked off. Then they softened again. "But cannot let such hatred consume. Turn it instead into drive. Drive to be better than all of them. And when they try to stop you, try to bring you back down, you kill them painfully."
Jack was a little blindsided she admitted to herself. She had spent so much time playing Team Fortress as Heavy, and bonding with that character, she had developed this persona she believed the Heavy to be. One that was just as wild and violent as her. It was to be expected that if she ever did meet her fictional hero that he probably would not be what she expected, but the difference still stunned her.
"This is really touching. In a disturbing sort of way." Heavy spun around to meet the new voice. Only to receive a shock to the face. Somewhere deep inside his brain, a device that was well ahead of its time reactivated, and began a protocol it had long been waiting for.
The Heavy screamed as he remembered.
…Normandy…
Mordin was staring down the Collector insect specimens. They stared right back. He put on his moustache and growled. The insect retreated from the glass with what might have been a whine. Shepard came in as the Salarian was hastily hiding his moustache.
Shepard dismissed the odd behavior. "Mordin, do you have that countermeasure? We're going into a Collector zone."
Mordin looked surprised. Then smiled. "Yes. Do not worry Shepard. Countermeasure made. Just finished in fact. Was testing it on subject now."
Shepard eyed Mordin. "The countermeasure is a fake moustache?"
"Yes; found inspiration from previous Moustache grooming project. Made surprising amount of headway during that period. Remembered failed trial that caused repellant. Took notes. Reapplied procedure. Now have Collector Swarm repellant facial hair." Mordin said with a mischievous grin.
Shepard gave up trying to figure out why something so ridiculous came up. With Team Fortress this is relatively sane. "Just…be ready to deploy it on my team the moment we land."
EDI's voice chimed in, klaxons blaring. "Shepard, a stowaway has been detected in the lower levels."
"What?!" Shepard exclaimed. "How did you not find this until now?"
"The stowaway was cloaking itself until now. Much like the Spy, I could not detect him until he deactivated it."
"Which level is he on?"
"Cargo Bay. Team Fortress has been incapacitated."
…Cargo Bay…
The stowaway coughed up a bit of blood. He wiped it off on a sleeve before Jack flung him into the Hammerhead. "Ooh that one hurt a bit. Can you please stop so I can explain-" he was cut off as Jack punched him in the stomach.
"I'm gonna rip out your guts and show em to you!" Jack was pissed. Not exactly clear why, but she knew she was pissed.
"JACK! Stand down!" Shepard grasped Jack's wrist just as she was about to warp this guy's insides.
The man, stood up shakily and cleaned the blood from his nose and mouth with a kerchief. He held his left arm up on which he hung his umbrella. The man was slightly taller than the Spy, sporting a similar suit, but with white gloves covering his hands. He had the bud of a moustache growing under his rounded nose, all placed center on a box shaped head. He smiled as he made a slight nod of thanks to Commander Shepard. "Thank you commander."
"I just don't want you dead, but if I don't hear a decent answer from you, I'll turn you over to the Krogan." Shepard glared, pointing to Grunt behind him, who was smirking and cracking his knuckles.
The man waved his hand. "You wound me Shepard. I was originally intending to complete my job on the Citadel, but then the Soldier started that whole fight in the lower levels and I could not reach any of you. I stowed away to complete a mission as requested by a certain woman whom you've already met." He said in a smooth calm voice.
"What mission? To wipe out my team? To take Team Fortress back?"
The man laughed a low silky laugh. "Oh no, no, no. Nothing so dramatic. No I was originally assigned to protect them. Until I received a rather urgent message from…Her." He paused a moment before trying to say the Administrator's name, failing to and simply calling her, Her.
"Which was what?" Shepard pressed.
"Make them remember."
This was starting to make sense. The Spy had theories that portions of their minds were wiped. The stranger only confirmed them. But that lead to another question. "Remember what?"
"I believe they can tell you themselves."
"Da. We can tell them." Every eye turned on the assembled Team Fortress, all conscious, groggy, and somewhat fine save for the grim faces.
…Some 180-ish years ago…
Before Team Fortress was frozen, they were used by RED to fight on one of the many fronts where RED was losing to BLU. The Primes were the best, making short work of any clones. That changed one fateful day with the emergence of the third Mann brother…
Suddenly Team Fortress found itself fighting alongside it's clones of RED and BLU fighting legions of robots. So many robots. However Gray Mann underestimated Team Fortress, as he did the machines that supported Blutarch and Redmond Mann.
…At the Alamo in the Past…
The heavy doors slammed shut as Gray Mann wiped the blood of his kin off his knife. Part of the plan was done. Now it was time to enact the next step. He grinned evilly as he set off.
What he did not know was that the machines that he thought were worthless pieces of junk, suddenly surged to life, working overtime to patch the fatal wounds inflicted on the two Mann brothers. Their neck wounds sealed, and their eyes glowed as an ungodly surge of power flowed through their bodies, kick starting the brains, and other organs. Both brothers screamed as they were wrenched from the afterlife…again.
They stared at each other for one second before turning away. Each one was thinking the same thing: Who was that fellow? An assassin obviously, but who would send him. Maybe…no. But, then again, maybe those heartfelt letters were a lure. Maybe this was all a ploy to get me here! Yes! That must be it! My idiot brother sought to destroy me not with armies, but with a hired killer! Oh, you may have been clever this time but you are still an ignoramus my stupid brother! I know this scheme. I know what you did.
As one the two brothers turned on each other and shouted. "I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE UP TO! YOU WILL NOT WIN! THERE WILL BE NO TRUCE! SCREW YOU, AND SCREW YOUR STUPID PREGNANCY MACHINE!"
…Several Battles with Robots Later…
Just as the toadies and record keepers of both RED and BLU finally finished the paperwork to give ownership of both companies to Gray Mann, news arrived that the two brothers were still alive, and very angry. Thus began a tedious, year-long process of filling out the long forms of "Just Kidding" papers.
Gray Mann was furious. Control was wrested from him and the fortune he had built up was spent fighting mercenaries and powering his robots(in hindsight fueling robots with money was a very stupid idea). He was forced to go into hiding.
The two brothers retook their respective places in control of each company. Each brother blamed each other for the Alamo incident and reignited the war between RED and BLU. The Administrator saw how close she was to losing Team Fortress and decided to find a way to preserve those mercenaries. Thus she enacted her own plan. To ensure Team Fortress would not accidentally tell anyone about the fact they had saved humanity from Robot Overlords for the seventh time (and Zombie Apocalypse for the ninth), she had their memories locked away in what would later be the precursor to the gray box. Following that, she improved the cloning program to bring the clones to a closer level to the prime Team Fortress members. Then she realized that was wasteful and stupid. She scrapped that plan and enacted the backup plan of duping Team Fortress with food and putting them on ice for as long as needed. How long she left blank because she was distracted by a lack of cigarettes. The plan was enacted, though never finished because the Administrator forgot to finish the thing.
Then all that stuff that already was shown happened.
…Normandy Present Day…
Shepard was silent as the Heavy finished recalling their memories. "Robot Overlords."
"Yeah. Sounds farfetched I know-" Engineer began.
"No, you're Team Fortress, for you that is just barely reasonable from what I've seen with stuff involving you. Well this leads to another question." He turned back to the man with the umbrella who had stood attentively still until that moment. "You."
"Please. Call me the Civilian."
"The Civilian? Not the Commando, or super-spy or the mastermind or some other code name just the-never mind!" Shepard waved his hands. "Why now? Why make them remember?"
"Because I would not need to explain so much when I deliver Her message." The Civilian cleared his throat. "Ahem: 'Gray is Back.'"
Team Fortress gave a collective groan. "This is not being very surprising…" Heavy muttered. Though it was exhilarating fighting robots, it slowly wore on his nerves, as well as the nerves of his comrades, fighting the same soulless machine again and again that did not care for itself and just kept coming until his gun clicked empty. And still they kept coming. He shivered remembering that dark hour when he was left to fighting back a legion of robots of himself with his bare fists. "Gray baby never fought unless he knewings he could win."
"This is a concerning matter, but we have something more pressing. We have a colony being attacked on Horizon that needs us right now."
"Well Commander Shepard then it seems our goals are in tandem. You see, I was not finished with my message. It continues: Gray is confirmed to be consorting with Collectors."