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GRAVITATION
by Yih

"Love—is anterior to Life—
Posterior—to Death—
Initial of Creation, and
The Exponent of Earth—"
- Emily Dickinson

9. Gross Anatomy

Seattle 2008

Edward POV

"It must be fate," Bella remarked casually as she stared at the postings outside the lecture hall as I stared at her. We had just gotten out of lecture and I was thinking about how to ask her to lunch, not that we would actually eat – just go somewhere and talk.

It took a moment for her words to hit me, but when they did I lifted up an inquisitive eyebrow.

"You and me," she said as if that explained everything.

"What do you mean?" I asked carefully, unable to squelch the rising hope inside.

Had I really only known her for three days? It felt like a lifetime, though we had yet to spend any time outside of school together. We had yet to hold a substantial conservation, but I thought we understood each other better than those who had spent years together. We fit perfectly.

I was absolutely insane. I was overly optimistic and out of control. I was being ridiculous and I knew it was highly likely that this feeling inside was more than mere infatuation. I still held some pessimism, though. I had Alice's words to encourage me, but I had my own dark misgivings. I still knew nothing about her life, not really.

There were three things I was certain about – that she was a vampire, that she forsook the blood of humans, and that she had a passion to be a doctor. That was all. That was not much.

On sleepless nights, I might have painted glorious pictures in my head of our future and during tedious days, the hours not spent with her, I condemned the relationship as hopeless. What did I know about nurturing such a delicate flower? This was the very first time I had ever felt this way. I was scared I would mess this up.

"Look," she said, pointing to the sheet. "It's our lab assignments."

I stared at the list, mesmerized by the fact our names were next to each other, Isabella Swan, Edward Cullen…

"Isabella?" I asked. "I didn't know that was your name."

She shrugged. "I go by Bella."

"It suits you."

She smiled and it lit up her face. "So," she said, holding out her hand, "partners?"

"Partners," I agreed as I took her hand in mine, relishing the feel of her touch.

I was disappointed when she withdrew her hand and primly held them behind her back.

"Our first lab starts this afternoon at one," she said, probably having read an email about it earlier since I saw nothing else on the postings other than the assignments.

"There are six names in our tank," I remarked. "What does 6A mean? Or 6B?"

"There are six people per tank, three dissect each day," she explained. "We go first with another girl, Angela Weber, because we're 6A."

"So we don't dissect every day?"

Bella shook her head. "No, lab is on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. If we go today, Wednesday, then we don't dissect on Friday. We do, however, have to come in and teach the rest of our tank what we dissected on Wednesday."

"That sounds pretty decent."

"It is," she agreed. "I wonder what it'll be like, though, dissecting."

"It's not bad," I said.

I knew from past experience that dissecting cadavers was awkward at first, but eventually you got over the fact that you were cutting up a human. After all, every single cadaver had knowingly donated their body for medical education and how could we desecrate a body that had been willing?

"Have you dissected before?" she asked.

"Some," I answered carefully, realizing that I had not told her that much about my past life either.

She had no idea that I had gone to medical school before and I wonder what she would think about that. She was definitely not a newborn vampire, not when she was that self-contained and in such control. And yet, it was strange how me and my family lived – setting down roots and allowing ourselves to grow to a certain degree until it was no longer plausible.

"I will have to rely on your guidance then," she said.

I smiled. "I will be happy to assist."

Bella looked down at her watch and it reminded me of what I had wanted to ask her when I had followed her out of the lecture hall. It was noon and lunchtime. I wanted to ask her if she would join me for lunch, considering we did have to stay around for anatomy lab and all. It would be nice having time to spend with her that wasn't class time. I had wanted to ask her to go somewhere yesterday, but she had run off before I even got the chance.

"Are you busy right now?" I asked abruptly.

She shook her head. "No, not at all. Why?"

"Do you want—"

Her cell phone rang and I was startled when I recognized the tune, Clair de Lune. I had never met anyone else that listened to Debussy before. She smiled apologetically and I watched as she took out a sleek silver phone.

"You're not bothering me," she said.

I leaned in a little, not able to help myself, hoping that I could hear whatever snippets I could have the conservation, but whoever was talking was speaking in a soft voice that I couldn't make out the words. It didn't help that she probably set the volume to the lowest possible setting since vampires didn't need any sound amplification.

"How was the trip?" she asked. "You deserve every happiness."

I would kill to know what the other person was saying.

"What? Of course I'll meet up with you. When do you have the time?" I didn't like how wide her eyes got with what I read as excitement and happiness. "What are you doing in Seattle? Oh? I had no idea."

Bella looked down at her watch again. "I have an hour before I have to be back for lab. Yes, it's anatomy and yes, I'm excited."

I watched the flight of emotions on her face – all positive – I noted sourly.

"I'll meet you downstairs, do you know how to get here?" she asked. "What? You're already here?" She sounded half-amused and half-resigned. "You know me too well. And yes, I'm coming."

She slipped the phone back into her tote. "I'm sorry," she said. "I've got to run, but I'll see you in lab. You can tell me what you were going to say there, all right?"

"Sure," I said. "I'll see you then."

What choice did I have? She was already hurrying to the stairs and away from me. I hoped and I prayed that the person she was running to was not her lover. I sighed when she was out of sight, but never out of mind.

I lied down on one of the couches that were outside of the lecture hall and preceded to stare up at the ceiling. I was pathetic. I didn't know what to do with myself when my carefully laid plans were thwarted. What did I have to do to pass the time? It was a mere hour and it felt like it was going to be forever.

Just then my cell phone started ringing that annoying ringer. I was tempted to not answer, but I might as well since what else did I have to do except stare up at the ceiling? It was better than nothing.

"Edward," Alice said. "You're being gloomy again."

"You start with hello first," I reminded her to no avail, Alice always cut to the chase.

"Why aren't you with her?" she asked. "You abruptly came into my vision when I thought you were going to be with her all day like you had planned out thoroughly yesterday."

"That was the intention," I responded wryly, "but I keep getting interrupted."

"I see," Alice said. "Well, you'll eventually be successful."

"I hope it's sooner rather than later," I muttered.

Alice laughed. "Patience is a virtue."

"Which you have none of," I retorted.

"Oh I have plenty of patience," she responded, "but only when it suits me best."

"Of course."

"Do you want to know why I really called?" Alice asked.

"Please enlighten me," I said in an overly exaggerated voice.

"Esme and Carlisle are back from their honeymoon and Esme wants to talk to you, but I told her not to bother you. Aren't I nice? I prevented someone else from interrupting your time with Bella. Are you going to say thank you now?"

I snorted. "As if."

"Esme is really really curious about Bella!"

"Alice!" I exclaimed.

I quickly lowered my voice when I saw a couple of fellow first years glance my way. They were already pouring through the Grant's Dissector, as if their lives depended on it. I was not cut out to be a doctor, I thought. I wasn't passionate enough about it. The material was interesting enough, but there were other things that I was more inclined to study.

I was glad enough I was here, though, if only for the chance to meet Isabella Swan.

"Come on," Alice murmured, "Esme's really happy that you've met someone. Can't you humor her?"

She said this in a low enough voice that if Esme was nearby, her keen ears wouldn't be able to pick the words up.

"I wish you had let me told her myself," I said.

"I wanted to, but I was a little too excited last night when they returned and it kind of gave everything away." Alice sounded apologetic and that was about as much of an apology as I was likely to get.

"Put her on," I said.

I heard the cell phone exchange hands and I waited until I heard Esme's warm, sweet voice say, "My sweet boy."

Esme might not be that many years older than me, but she was so much more mature and so motherly. While she would never replace my own mother in my heart, she was definitely my second mother and just as dear to me. I loved her fiercely, as much as I loved Carlisle and I knew I was a bit more special in her heart because I was her very first child and because I was the only one unattached.

"Esme," I said.

"How have you been?" she asked. "How is the first week of medical school going? Are you enjoying it?"

"It's good."

"I heard from Alice…" she began hesitantly, knowing with her mother's intuition that I probably wouldn't like her mentioning it.

"I met someone," I said in a rush. "Her name is Bella and she's a vampire. She's in my medical school class, if you can believe it and she's like us. She doesn't feed on humans." I paused. "I really like her."

I could feel Esme's smile in her voice when she said, "I'm so happy for you."

"It's only been three days."

"Sometimes it doesn't take long at all. It didn't take long for me," she murmured tenderly. "I fell for him quickly, it was like I tumbled from the sky into his arms."

Literally, I thought, literally.

"When you're ready, I would dearly like to meet her."

"I want her to meet you," I said sincerely.

"Thank you," Esme said as if I had given her a great gift.

"Thank you," I said.

We talked after that of the trip, of more comfortable topics that didn't delve so deeply into my emotions. I missed talking to Esme like this. I supposed I had been rather removed from her recently. I had been brooding for so long, not really about being alone although that was likely the underlying reason, but I had kept to myself. I didn't want my loneliness to impede on my family's happiness. It's one of the reasons I decided to move out again. I didn't want to drag them down with me.

"Alice wants to say goodbye," Esme remarked. "And she says that your lab is going to be starting soon. I didn't realize we've been talking on the phone for so long."

I didn't realize it either.

"I miss you," I said.

"I miss you too," Esme said. "I love you, Edward. Come back home soon?"

"I love you too. I promise I'll come back son."

She handed the phone back to Alice. "You were wonderful," she said. "Esme's glowing."

"I don't like the implication I'm a terrible son most of the times," I grumbled.

"No, you're just absent."

"Alice…"

"Listen to me," she said and when she spoke like that – everyone and I mean everyone in the family paid attention and I was no different. "Remember how I told you to follow your heart?"

"Yes." Was she going to recant now? I didn't want her too, not when I had already decided that I was going to put my heart on the line, not that I really had a choice when I was helplessly being pulled toward Bella.

"I'm scared," Alice began, "because I can't see a clear future, not really, not when she's a shield. I don't like not knowing what's going on, but I trust you know yourself better than anyone else and if you think she is the one, nothing I see will tell you anything more than what you already know yourself."

"Alice?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"You're welcome," she said, her tone suddenly shifting. "You better get down to lab if you don't want to be late."

I looked at my watch and I cursed. It was already one o'clock and if I didn't hurry down I was going to be late.

"I'll talk to you later," I said.

"I'll hold you to that."

I shoved my phone into my pocket and ran down the stairs to the gross lab as fast as I dared to as a vampire roaming amongst humans. When I reached the bottom of the stairs, I caught Bella rushing toward the lab from another direction and she smiled when she saw me.

"I thought I was the only one who was going to be late," she said.

"You're not the only one," I murmured.

"Obviously," she responded.

"Obviously," I echoed.

To be continued…


A/N: I hope you enjoy another chapter from Edward's perspective. He's so tortured, vacillating between being super optimistic and being gloomy, but why else? Unlike Edward in Twilight, this Edward doesn't have the comfort of Bella's sleeptalking to reassure him and make him confident that she does indeed think about it all the time. When you think about that, of course Edward would be a little awkward, a little lacking in confidence… and she's a vampire!

As for this chapter, I describe anatomy lab the way I have experienced it with a little fictional overlay, just so it doesn't resemble my med school too much. I have no idea what it's like at U of W, but nothing I'm describing is unrealistic – pretty much how my gross lab was. I hope you enjoy reading about the med school experience and I hope it doesn't bore you!

Anyway, keep the reviews coming. This update was super fast because of all the support. I have 115 story alerts now and the last chapter was the most reviewed at 19 reviews! But I know you guys can do better! Keep it up and I'll try to write as fast as I can (exams and finals are approaching though in two weeks!).

Released: 3/30/2009