Chapter 10: Taking Control

Penny sat on the couch in 4A holding a cup of tea that long went cold. It turns out that her lock had been broken by whoever the intruder was but nothing had been taken and no one was in the apartment when they searched it. Penny didn't believe the officers and was only slightly assuaged when they opened every closet door in front of her and showed her no one was in there. Still, she couldn't shake off the feeling that he was still nearby.

The building manager was contacted and promised to get the lock fixed within the next few days. As for now, she would have to sleep on Sheldon and Leonard's couch but if she were honest, she didn't mind whatsoever. Apparently Leonard didn't mind either, because he immediately grabbed extra pillows and a blanket from the closet and asked what she liked in the morning for breakfast.

Penny was touched that Leonard was willing to make her comfortable but all she wanted was Sheldon. She wanted Sheldon's arms wrapped around her, she wanted to retreat into his soft kisses against her lip; she wanted to feel safe again.

She was snapped out of her thoughts by someone taking away the cup from her hands. She looked up and was met with Sheldon's cool blue eyes that made her heart beat faster. He placed the mug down on the table before taking a seat in his spot beside her. Penny lifted his arm and snuggled into his side, resting her arm around his midsection. She closed her eyes and began to breathe deep, taking in Sheldon and welcoming the peace she felt with him.

"Penny, were you injected with cat DNA after we last saw each other?" he asked with confusion.

"What are you talking about?" she kept her eyes shut and focused on the rhythm of his heart beat which sped up a bit as she rested her head on his chest.

"You're snuggling me like a cat would and I didn't know if you were going to start purring."

"If you rub my hair maybe I will."

She meant it as a joke but after a brief pause, she felt his fingers massage her scalp. Although she couldn't quite pull off a purr, she made a noise that was identical.

"Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur. Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr, purr, purr."

Penny couldn't help the smile that crossed her face and lifted her head to look at the man next to her. "What was that?"

"Whenever I was sick my mother would sing this to me and I would feel better," he explained. "Granted you aren't sick but that is where my train of thought went. Although now my train of thought went to trains..."

Penny laughed again and sat up to kiss his cheek. Sheldon turned his head, green eyes meeting blue. Penny felt her breath hitch and couldn't help the smile forming on her lips as the butterflies flittered around her stomach. She and Sheldon were actually acting like a normal couple. Penny always thought that normal was always a tad boring, hence why she wanted the actress life so much. That life would have led her to places around the world with each day being different from the other. Wasn't that the best part about life, its constant unpredictability?

Not anymore. Despite the fact Penny's unpredictable life led her to Los Robles, and ultimately to Sheldon, sitting on his couch and just being with him had Penny yearning for normality. Then again, Sheldon wasn't exactly the poster child for normal. He had set routines that he refused to break, didn't understand when he was being inappropriate in conversations, couldn't decipher sarcasm or emotions, had never actually experienced a relationship before, continuously snuck up on her (although that wasn't necessarily intentional), and was an overall pain in the ass most of the time.

Still, what exactly was normal? Was anything really considered normal anymore? Sheldon may be extremely quirky but he was still sweet and caring, even though some believe otherwise, and although he could be condescending, his intentions are just to make sure people are informed thusly.

That was when it hit Penny like a bolt of lightning. Sheldon had it all. He had predictable ways but he also had unpredictable reactions. Penny never knew how Sheldon would handle his routine being broken because she has seen him adapt to it and fight against it. Whereas she cowered at the thought of Kurt losing his temper when things didn't go his way, she found herself looking forward to seeing Sheldon figure out how to handle situations.

The whack-a-doodle had wedged his way into her heart and she had no problem making room for him.

"Penny?"

"Hmm?"

"We've been staring at each other for five minutes and I don't know if we are having a staring contest but my eyes are hurting."

Penny laughed. "It's okay Sheldon you can blink. I was just thinking."

"May I inquire as to what occupied your thoughts?"

"You." she said with a smile.

"Oh we were thinking about the same thing." He smiled back. Penny rolled her eyes and leaned in to kiss his lips. She only intended on a peck but Sheldon had other plans.

He pulled her back in, his hand taking her chin to lead her lips back to his. Penny was more than happy to oblige and easily fell into the kiss. Their mouths moved against each other and Penny licked his bottom lip to see how he would react. She was beyond surprised when his mouth opened and his tongue found hers. Sheldon was a fast learner and for the first time in years, Penny actually felt turned on.

She cupped his cheek and pushed herself closer. Her other hand moved to his chest, which sparked something in him because he pushed her onto her back on the couch and deepened the kiss. Penny felt light headed as she moaned her delight at Sheldon's efforts and only registered a bit too late that someone had entered the room. "What the hell?"

Sheldon and Penny quickly pulled apart and looked up to see a stunned Leonard holding their take away dinner. Sheldon pushed himself off of Penny and hurried to the bathroom but not before Penny caught sight of the tent in his pants. She couldn't help but smirk.

"Want to catch me up?" Leonard's voice cracked a bit.

"Um..when I actually figure it out I will," she smoothed her hair down and wiped her mouth before bouncing over to the fridge for a bottle of water. "So, what's for dinner?" she asked with a smile before taking a sip of her beverage.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

Leonard turned in early, which left Penny and Sheldon alone to watch an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Penny was curled up in her blanket, her head in Sheldon's lap and half asleep. She watched Buffy fight a dozen vampires on her own and Penny wondered how the hell the girl did it. Penny could barely face her abusive ex-boyfriend but this girl can take down blood suckers and jump into a vortex to nowhere to save people.

Penny let out a sigh, which grabbed Sheldon's attention.

"Is something troubling you Penny?"

"I was just thinking about how great it would be to have Buffy's strength against vampires."

"Well it isn't as if you would need them since vampires are complete hokum and Sunnydale isn't a real place, hence why Buffy isn't needed," he ranted. "However, you do possess the blonde hair and stereotypical California girl persona that would be ideal for the character of Buffy; even though you're from Nebraska."

Penny blinked several times, not really sure how to respond. "Thanks I guess, but that's not what I meant."

She sat up and pushed the blanket off of her. Sheldon muted the television and turned his attention towards her.

"I was thinking about taking a page from Buffy and learning self-defense."

"Interesting thought but why would you need self-defense? It's not like you plan on confronting your ape of an ex-boyfriend."

Penny smiled a little at the insult. "No, at least not intentionally, but I have a feeling that it will be inevitable at some point and I'm tired of feeling defenseless."

"Hmm. Well I don't see why you shouldn't invest in self-defense class. Although I would suggest that you avoid Buffy's wardrobe as denim isn't as comfortable to fight in as Joss Whedon makes it out to be."

Penny laughed and gave him a kiss before settling back onto his lap. She couldn't wait to ask Bernadette about it tomorrow at work.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

"Since we have some new members joining us today let me introduce myself. My name is Heather and I will be your instructor for Self-Defense 101."

Penny noticed that Heather was curvy with sun kissed skin that made the blond highlights in her light brown hair popped. But the smile she gave the room made Penny feel a sense of peace and she could feel her body relax.

"I started this program a few years ago after having a great experience of my own. It made me realize that I have the right to feel safe, even from the man I loved who was hurting me both physically and sexually. Now I want to make sure every person here knows this as well."

Penny looked around at the room that held mostly girls but a few men decided to join as well. Penny could feel bitterness and anger bubble to the surface of her thoughts. Guys don't need self-defense, she thought. They already know how to defend themselves and this will just give them more ways to overpower women.

As quickly as the thought surfaced, it fell away and Penny felt guilty. Before she could think more on it, Heather asked for two volunteers to demonstrate a flip. One man in the back raised his hand. "Thank you good sir. What is your name?"

"Tony," answered the man as he walked to the front of the group. All the girls noticed he was quite attractive and started raising their hands to be his partner.

"Now let's see, who will be the lucky girl to flip Tony? Hmm…how about you ma'am?"

Heather made eye contact with Penny but the blonde didn't register it for a second. She looked beside her to Bernadette and behind her to the other girls before turning her attention back to the instructor and pointed at herself. "Me?" she asked.

"What is your name sweetheart?"

"Penny."

"Well Miss Penny, please come up here and we'll teach everyone how to flip an attacker."

With hesitant steps, Penny walked to the front and faced Tony who held out his hand. She daintily shook it and retracted her hand quick. She didn't like any guy touching her that wasn't Sheldon, even if it wasn't anything other than a friendly greeting.

"Okay Penny now watch me while I show the motions. Tony will extend his arms and what you have to do is make sure you grab him on the shoulders so that his arms are on the outside of yours. Next you will turn around and face away from him while pulling him towards you and by now you should have grabbed his arm.

"Then, you will put your backside into their hip, bend over into a squat with your knees and lift them over your hip so they won't be able to recover. Once they are on their back, you get away as quick as you can. Okay now let's give it a try."

Heather stepped away, leaving the two opponents face to face. Penny could feel her heart start to race as Tony's arms extended out to her and before she could even think about what she was doing, Tony was immediately flipped onto his backside, with Penny holding him down at the base of the neck. Penny's next thought was to apply pressure to cut off his air supply but Heather's clapping brought her back.

"Excellent job Penny, well done. You can let Tony up now." Penny did as she was told and gave Tony a nod as they both walked back to the large group.

Holy crap on a cracker that felt amazing! She could almost feel the girl she used to be before Kurt managed to break her down. For a brief moment she had gained control. It felt foreign but at the same time, so right.

This little boost helped Penny through the rest of the class and she found herself disappointed that it had to end so soon.

"Thanks for bringing me along Bernadette," she smiled at her friend as they completed the last of their stretches.

"I'm glad you decided to come. I wanted to ask you for a while but I was always afraid you wouldn't have been able to…"

Penny nodded. She wouldn't have been able to sneak past Kurt and then self-defense wouldn't have be necessary because she was pretty sure Kurt would have killed her. The thought alone made her shiver.

"So how are things with Sheldon?"

"What do you mean?"

"You two are obviously something, even if you're not officially a couple."

"Well we kiss…a lot…and often…" she couldn't help the small laugh that escaped her lips. Even when they weren't near each other Sheldon could always make her feel this way. "I'm not sure what that means but it's nice to be able to not feel like I'm obligated to do something that girlfriends are supposed to do."

"I don't mean to pry Penny but did Kurt…you know…force intimacy?"

It wasn't like Penny didn't know when she said no to Kurt, he went ahead and did what he wanted to but in her mind she never considered it sexual assault or rape. Then again she was trying to get through on day at a time and acknowledging the abuse would just make it too much to deal with. However now that she was out of that situation and Bernadette brought it up, Penny couldn't deny it any longer. Kurt had not only physically abused her, but he took advantage of her sexually as well.

"Oh Penny I'm sorry! I didn't mean to upset you." The waitress was shaken from her thoughts as her friend pulled her in for a hug. That's when Penny realized she had tears flowing down her face. Dear god was there ever a day where she wouldn't cry? She was so sick of it.

"You ready to head home?" asked Bernadette. Penny shook her head.

"You go ahead. I want to get myself together before heading back. I don't want Sheldon to worry." It was partially true, but at the same time she wanted to talk to Heather. Once the room was only down to Heather and Penny, the blonde walked over to her instructor who was zipping up her bag.

"Thank you for today Heather. It was a lot of fun,"

"I love what I do and I love when someone else finds it enjoyable as well. You are a natural fighter Penny, I was very impressed with how quick you handled flipping Tony."

"Yeah…I found it very liberating. Is that crazy?"

Heather chuckled and shook her head. "Not at all honey. I felt that way the first time I pinned a guy to the ground. Quite the difference a role reversal makes, right?"

Penny nodded. "Do you mind if I ask you a question?"

"What's on your mind?"

"How did you finally get free of your abusive ex-boyfriend?"

The brunette leaned her head to the right a little as if examining the woman in front of her. Penny felt her gaze fall to her feet briefly before meeting Heather's smiling face.

"It wasn't easy. He used a lot of scare tactics, which worked for a while, and even tried to break into my house a few times and I decided to run away to California with only my family knowing where I went. It seemed like the safest choice at the moment and while I was getting ready to leave, my cousin taught me self-defense moves he learned in the police academy. I didn't realize I would need them when I did.

"He managed to corner me one evening when I was walking home from work. He grabbed me, I flipped him and to make sure he didn't follow me, I took his army knife out of his pocket and put a little slash on his throat to make sure he knew he couldn't hurt me again."

Penny's eyes widened at the story. This woman was incredible. "And he left you alone after that?"

"Well it also helped that the police found him and arrested him for carrying drugs. Fortunately he won't be hurting anyone else anymore; prison knocked him down a few pegs." Heather said with a smile. "I'm guessing I'm talking to a fellow survivor?"

Penny nodded. "He's still around though and refused to heed to the restraining order I placed against him. So I figured this could be my best option should it come down to another fight."

"It's very brave of you to take back control. Not everyone is able to do so."

"That's the thing, I can't tell if I am back in control," Penny sat down against the wall and stared at the other end of the room. "When I flipped Tony, in my mind I was thinking about Kurt and how badly I wanted to hurt him; how much he should suffer for hurting me and refusing to leave me alone even though he finds other girls to use. But it wasn't just that.

"I thought about how the men in the class didn't deserve to be here because they would just use these tactics to overpower women. I know that isn't true but it makes me mad thinking Kurt could find another way of tearing me down again."

There was a beat of silence, almost too long for Penny's liking, until Heather sat next to her.

"There is nothing wrong with being scared or feeling weak. You have a right to be angry because no one deserves to be treated that way. But you are showing strength by fighting back and you should give yourself credit for that. A lot of people wouldn't be able to do it."

"I just don't know when it will finally end. I'm tired of being scared and having to be rescued all the time. This new guy in my life tends to save me all the time and I only feel safe when I'm with him." Suddenly she wanted to run to Sheldon and just hide there but Penny made sure to stay where she was.

"That's not a bad thing Penny. I relied on my family a lot when this was going on because I felt safe there. There is nothing wrong with relying on someone while you work on standing on your own two feet again. But I will say, don't fight your emotions. Be sad, angry, scared or all three. In the end it will help you get over the hurdle faster."

Heather was surprised when the blonde reached over and gave her a hug. However she smiled and returned it.

"You'll be fine Penny, especially since you have me for a teacher." Both girls laughed and Heather had to head out to get ready for her night class but not before yelling over her shoulder at Penny, telling her she will see the blonde at the next class.

Penny left shortly after, feeling better than she had in a while and when she returned to Apartment 4A, she made a beeline for Sheldon who was making tea in the kitchen. Before he could ask her how the class was, her lips were upon his. Despite being surprised, Sheldon placed his hands on her hips and kissed her back.

"I take it your class was a success?" he asked with his lips still against hers. Penny hummed as she kissed him once more.

"Buffy better watch out because there may be a new vampire slayer in California."

I'm alive! I know it's been nearly two years since this story has been updated and although there really is no excuse, maybe this will make my absence a little more understanding: graduated college, real world job, writers block.

I plan on finishing this story no matter what but my job is very time consuming so I'm not sure when the next update will be but I made sure this was nice and long to make up for my not being here. This chapter ran away on its own and I'm not sure how I feel about it overall, but I enjoyed giving Penny some confidence. The poor girl needs it.

As always, let me know what you think :)