Title: Francis plays Matchmaker, a cliché story.
Pairings: PruCan. Smallest hint of America/Russia
Summery: Francis notices L'Amour. And jumps for it.
A/N: Remember my first story it was a cliché about Prussia noticing Canada. Well this is a cliché of Francis playing matchmaker. As the title states. Oh and OOC all around. Another pre-story note, the length makes me really happy~!
start
"Ah, the party is going so smoothly." Francis mewled. Everything was... Wait. What? Francis counted his bottles of beer again. 357..? That couldn't be right. Not with Gilbert here. There should only be... at most 100 left. "Oh, Gil~" Francis sang as he made his way over to the lonesome looking albino at the back of the room. "Mon ami, why is it that you are still sober?" Sobriety really was a thing to worry about when it came to the Prussian. He'd have a drink for every occasion just like Francis would make love to go with any occasion. Feeling depressed, beer. Feeling happy, beer. Lost a bet, beer. Won a bet, beer. The list goes on. The one thing that Gilbert didn't do was not drink beer. So why was it that now, at one of Francis's parties, was he completely sober and brooding at the back of the room with next to no attention on him.
"I don't feel like beer..." Francis still took a step back at the admittance, though he was suspecting as much. "Sorry." Francis couldn't hide the gasp.
"Mon ami!" He sputtered. In one flourished movement Francis was sitting next to the ex-nation with an arm around his shoulder. "Gilbert, I am surprised at you. No beer! And... Apologies! Next you'll be telling me that you're in love!" The blonde tried to joke, but the way his friend stiffened when he mentioned love was not a joke. A grin crept onto the Frenchman's face. "L'Amour?" Gilbert coughed to hide his nod. A bellowing laugh followed the accusation. "Gilbert, Prussia, the invader of vital regions! In love!" He'd never imagined it in all his years. This was really a sight to see. The eighth wonder, if you will.
Gilbert looked horrified "Keep it down! I'm pretty sure the whole world can hear you! How un-awesome."
Francis laughed slightly. "Don't be silly, I didn't invite everyone to the party!" He started laughing harder at his own joke.
The albino rolled his eyes. "Ha ha, very funny, ass hole." Francis began to look offended.
"Oh, Gilbert, how you absolutely wound me!" Gilbert scoffed. "But enough of that. Tell me, Gil..." He hummed and looked around at the numerous amounts of guests in his house. "Who is the lucky lady?" The red eyed ex-nation mumbled something. "Come again." Francis asked. More mumbling. He's starting to sound like Matthew! The blonde thought. "Speak up!"
"'S not a chick!" Gilbert all but screamed. And suddenly, Francis was stumped. Not a female? Gilbert was in love with a man. Gilbert. The same Gilbert who said that love was for pussies. He didn't have a problem with homosexual relationships, he was all for his brother and little Feliciano, but he was still Prussia. Him liking men where not things that went hand and hand. Things just weren't connecting for the poor Frenchman. He almost wanted to start laughing and than have Gilbert start laughing as well and tell him that it was all a joke. But that wouldn't happen. Gilbert was serious, dead serious, serious enough to not want alcohol. Which is... serious.
Francis kept his voice as cool as he could. "Well then, who's the lucky man?" Truthfully, not only was he confused to high hell, but he was giddier than a school girl. He got to play matchmaker. He loved playing matchmaker. Though, he usually played matchmaker with Gilbert and Antonio by his side. Like getting Vash and Roderich together, he was the brains. But anyway, he'd have fun using Gilbert, who's been silent for the past minute or so. "Gilbert?"
The albino shook his head. "I don't want to tell. You'll over inflate it, like you do with everything."
Francis tsk'd. "If I guess correctly would you say so?" He eyes momentarily scanning the crowd of nations oblivious to the conversing men.
Gilbert tilted his head to the side in thought. What did he have to lose, really? "Sure, why not. I doubt that you're awesome enough to guess it anyways."
The blonde didn't hold back a laugh. "If you think so, mon ami, than you could answer a few minor questions." Gilbert, still boosting in his own ego grinned and agreed. And so, Francis was off asking questions like they were playing Guess Who. "Does he have blond hair?"
"Yes." Gilbert wasn't worried about that question, basically everyone had blonde hair.
"That narrows it down." Francis mumbled to himself before he brightened up. "Oh, Gil! I never knew that you felt that way towards me!"
The ex-nation scoffed at the idea of him being in love with FRANCIS of all people. "That's gross." He said as he pushed the blonde.
Francis winked and pulled out a rose, which he soon shoved in his friend's face. "Don't knock it until you try it. That's what Alfred says." Gilbert batted away the rose and the Frenchman let it drop to the floor before he put on a rather baffled look. "It's not Alfred, is it? Your crush I mean." Gilbert looked possibly more disgusted by the Alfred idea than the Francis one. "I take it as a no."
"You are taking that correctly."
Francis took a few seconds to think. The man was blonde, young, and not him or Alfred... Oh! "Does this fabled man have a hair curl. A prominent one, like, Italy's?"
And like that, Gilbert stiffened. A very obvious tell. "I'm done playing your stupid game, Franny, go bother someone else!"
Francis laughed weakly before giving a rather twisted smile, one that could challenge Russia's, to his friend. "Well, then, I guess I'll just have to go tell Ludwig that a certain Prussian is denying beer. I bet he'll take it well." That got the albino to open up slightly.
"He has a curl, okay! He also has purple eyes, and the cutest little smile if recognize him!" Gilbert caught his breath. "Don't tell Luddy I haven't been drinking. Awesome people don't do things like that to their pals, right, and you're pretty awesome!"
"According to you I'm not."
"Now I'm saying that you are! Now is now! Just don't tell my brother, I don't want to have to stay with Roderich again!" Ah yes, the infamous use Roderich to make Gilbert want alcohol poisoning trick. It's really terrible torture, it has only had to happen once, and Gilbert learned his lesson that time.
"Ahh, you silly albinos, I was never going to tell, I just wanted information." He patted his friend's shoulder. "You're so cute when you pout, mon ami." Francis poked Gilbert's cheek.
The Prussian rolled his eyes. "And for that, I take back all that I've said."
"Go ahead, I just know that I have enough information to find the thief."
Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Thief?" He never mentioned anything about his crush being a robber, did he?
"The man who stole your heart!" Leaving the red-eyed ex-nation with a terrible cliché, Francis skipped away to start attending his own party again.
Gilbert gave a weak laugh to myself. "He didn't steal it." He mumbled while looking at his hands. "I gave it to him..." The albino's eyes shot up and widened slightly ad he realized what he'd just said. "Maybe I do need a beer." He laughed awkwardly and ran a hand through his silver hair.
At about four am, Francis forced everyone out of his home, save his family, and winked at the Prussian, who seemed to have found his way to the beer because he stumbled into the bushes by Francis' driveway. "Party well done, no?" He said to the three blonde's all stumbling around his house.
"It bloody wasn't!" Arthur slurred. "I had ta listen to the git over 'ere," he pointed at Alfred who was grinning at nothing imparticular, "sing 'bout bad romances! It was terrible!" And with that, the Englishman fell flat on his face.
"Well, I had fun, Papa." The timid voice of Matthew said. He grunted as he lifted Arthur's dead weight. "I did notice that you were missing for awhile, though." He dragged his English father onto the sofa next to his wasted brother. The two of them painted such a pretty picture.
"Oh yes." Francis said as he remembered his conversation with his friend. "I was just helping out pitiful Gilbert." Matthew smiled slightly.
"Did Gilbert walk in on someone again?" The albino managed to walk in on who knows how many couples while they were having intercourse. Afterwards he'd call Matthew and whine about it maybe end up demanding pancakes. It was the story his life.
Francis laughed, he was the cause of many of those phone calls, and he was damn proud of it. "Non, non. Just having a rough night." He said before turning around to face his son and when he got a good look at the Canadian, a revelation came over him.
"Was that why he didn't cause a big ruckus tonight?" Matthew's question went unheard because standing right in front of the Frenchman was a blonde, purple eyed nation, with a curl sticking out of the top of his head. Francis managed to dumbly nod and Matthew carried on. "I actually would have gone to find him, but he seemed to be invisible!" The boy was kind enough to not add that he was as well. His papa was always so apologetic and touchy when he admitted to feeling as though he was forgotten.
"Mathieu..?" And there it was, the adorable smile that Matthew always made when someone referred to him by name.
"Yes, Papa?" The Canadian asked.
"I was curious," Francis started. "how to you feel about Gilbert?" He hoped, and he hoped hard, that the Canadian was at least friends with the Prussian. Because if Matthew was, that meant Francis could sleep easy knowing that Gilbert wasn't just after his 'son's' pants and that there was a chance that the violet eyed nation was willing to like his friend more.
Of course, the act of being blatant like Francis was caused Matthew to become defensive. "I like him. I-I'd say we're friends, you know. He comes over sometimes- C-completely innocent visits! J-just to talk! A-and he likes my pancakes! Which is nice of him. And he's pretty cute." He quickly clamped him hand over his mouth whore he could say more. "B-but you d-didn't hear th-that f-fr-from me." He added as and after-thought. But the deed was done. And, though Matthew couldn't see it due to his head being pointed down at his feet in embarrassment, the Frenchman was grinning like an idiot. This would be easier than he thought.
The first thing Gilbert registered the next morning was a pounding headache. Than a craving for pancakes. The two usually went hand and hand, though.
Slowly but surely, the Prussian sat up from his bed, trying to ignore that fact that was empty and he had failed in admitting to his blonde crush again, and went downstairs. Maybe his brother was already awake and could make him pancakes. Gilbert was certain that he had Canadian maple syrup left over from the last batch Matthew had given him. But Gilbert had no such luck. Ludwig had already left, only leaving a note for Gilbert saying that he was out with Italy and that he shouldn't break the house down. No pancakes for Gilly then. The Prussian eyed the stove for a second before he burst out laughing at himself. "Me, cooking?" He sputtered. "I'm to awesome to do any such thing?" And by that, he meant that he didn't want to pay for another kitchen remodel...
"Oh! Phone!" He said happily. He could call Matthew! Have him come over and make him magic hangover killing pancakes! Afterwards they could hang out. It will be awesome. So he called up the Canadians cell only to get the answering machine. He knew it by heart. "Hello. Bonjour. You've reached Matthew Williams' phone. Not Alfred's I'm sorry." If you listened close enough you could hear the Canadian ask how people can mistake their phone numbers, for they are completely different. "B-but if you meant me, than leave your information and I'll call you back!" Gilbert said along, trying to mimic the airiness of the other's voice. When be heard the beep he started. "Hi, Birdie. I have a killer headache from Franny's party last night and I need you to work your strange Canadian magic of Pancake awesome and fix it." He smiled slightly. "And of you don't, I'll be forced to drink Maple syrup straight out of the bottle. Call me back~" He sang and then hung up. Hopefully the blonde would get back to him soon...
When Matthew woke up, he felt warmer than he had for a long while. He lied there in silence as his brain started to kick into motion. The day before started to come back to him. Waking up, being abducted by his French brother-father, attending a party, looking for Gilbert to no avail, unfortunately admitting to his French brother-father that he had a crush on Gilbert, and falling asleep in the guest room. He wasn't alone, though. There was a reason he was warm. Arthur, his English brother-father, and Alfred, his just plain old brother, had joined him. Oh, and Francis, but that was to be expected of him.
Very slowly, Matthew managed to wriggle out from the cocoon his family seemed to have made around him and made it to the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes for a brief moment and grabbed his glasses before stunning into the bathroom. He was quick to lock the door behind him. While Arthur was good about privacy, Alfred thought that brother's were meant to share everything... even showers. And Francis was France. 'Nuff said.
The Canadian took a nice and short shower, knowing that his family had all had there fair share of alcohol, he himself opted out because watching drunk nations staggering around was much more fun than being one of them, and they would be needing the shower to help with their impending hangovers. Isn't he nice? After his shower he brushed his teeth and got dressed.
Not wanting to be stuck with hangover babysitting, the blonde quickly left for his house.
"Kumajuri! I'm home!" He 'yelled' upon entering.
"Who?" The small polar bear asked.
"I'm Canada." Matthew said with a smile. "And, I'm about to feed you."
Kumajirou smiled, if bears actually could, and followed his master to the kitchen. After he received his fish he tugged at his owner's pant leg. "Phone."
Matthew looked up from what he was doing, making pancakes, and seemed pretty surprised. "Someone called?" He said more to himself than the bear. He walked over to the phone and saw that he actually had a message. He pressed the button and listened carefully, just in case it was his boss.
"Hi, Birdie. I have a killer headache from Franny's party last night and I need you to work your strange Canadian magic of Pancake awesome and fix it! And of you don't, I'll be forced to drink Maple syrup straight out of the bottle. Call me back!" Matthew wore a frown for a few reasons. Reason number one, he didn't want to hangover babysit. Reason number two, while he loved maple syrup (and could be caught drinking it by the bottle, though he'd never admit it...) he believed the the syrup was to be enjoyed with something else. And the third reason was Matthew fancied the albino, so he was going to call back and give him some of his pancakes anyways.
He dialed Ludwig's home and went back to making the hotcakes. "Guten morgen." The German said laboriously over the phone.
"Ah. G-Gluten m-morgen, Ludwig. It's Matthew, c-could you put Gilbert on the line?" There was some staticy grumbling in German before the German loudly yelled for his brother which caused the Canadian to flinch away from his phone.
"He'll be down in a moment." Ludwig reassured. Matthew was still to shocked to say anything, though.
There was some shifting on the German end of the line. "Ah, Mattie! You got my awesome message I presume!."
Matthew smiled slightly. "Yeah, I did. I started making some already."
"Alright!" The albino cheered. There was some more shifting and the phone was apparently back in Ludwig's hands.
"Pancakes?" The stoic blonde asked.
"What else?" Matthew chuckled. Of course Gilbert would be so excited about pancakes that he'd basically drop the phone. "I-I'll talk to you later, Ludwig." Matthew knew the German had a lot to drink last night. The last thing he wanted to do was keep him awake.
"Ja." Was all Ludwig said before he hung up the phone and the dial tone was blasting in Matthew's ear. The Canadian set down his phone a gave his full attention back to the pancakes.
Francis was currently situated outside of Matthew's house. Dressed as a rose bush. Which is important, because he wouldn't fit in if he was sunflower. He saved that disguise for Alfred and Ivan but that wasn't something you shared with many people. He was outside of his son/brother's house to watch the interactions between said man and his best friend. Both of which admitted of liking each other, but the other didn't know it yet.
From what he could tell, they were a match made in heaven, however unlikely it was.
So, Francis spent his day outside of his ex-colony's house taking notes. Like; how Matthew acts like himself around Gilbert, how Gilbert doesn't force the blonde to do anything the he doesn't want to do, how each of them blush when the get near each other (and how Gilbert purposely invades the nation's space), how Matthew doesn't stutter around the albino, and how Gilbert wasn't as overbearing and egotistic around the other. All in all, they were exactly what the other needed. Francis had to retain himself from rushing into his former charge's house and forcing the two to make-out.
There was actually a moment where he thought the two were going to kiss. He saw Matthew trip on something straight into Gilbert's arms (something out of a chick-flick) and they stared at each other for a few moments before Gilbert cleared his throat and walked away. Francis of course was holding his breath the whole time, and angrily exhaled it when the kiss didn't happen. "Nations these days." He muttered to himself. "So oblivious of L'Amour."
It was the evening after of Francis' spying trip when he thought up his brilliant plan. Invite Gilbert and Matthew to accompany him to a romantic movie. At some point he'd leave to use the restroom and when he'd come back Matthew and Gilbert would be lip locked. (He let himself be bothered by that fact that it was his best friend Gilbert and son/brother Matthew who would be kissing, but only for a moment. L'Amour was more important than his feelings.)
So, the Frenchman called up Matthew and was pleased to find that Gilbert was there too, and asked them to go see the movie with him. Matthew, always happy to spend time with Francis, obliged and Gilbert, always happy to be around the Canadian, agrees as well. Everything was going to be perfect, Francis thought. Rather famous last words.
Nothing was perfect, Actually. First of all, Gilbert complained about the movie choice. "You actually want me to pay to see mushy schieße! I only need to invade Roderich's unawesome home if I want to be disgusted by cheep romance!" On the up side, Matthew voiced the fact that he actually wanted to see the movie and Gilbert miraculously changed his views on the matter. The next imperfection was that, when Francis got up to use the restroom, Gilbert saw it fit to go refill his popcorn, so, there was never a time when the subjects were alone in the theatre. Francis would have tried to make his leave again, but he didn't want to look suspicious. And thirdly, the movie just plain sucked and there was never any "mood".
"I can't believe I wanted to see that movie..." Matthew said berating himself.
Gilbert piped up with his opinion. "I was going to say! I thought you had better taste in movies!" It was obvious, though, that he wasn't going to say anything. He wouldn't say anything negative about the Canadian if he could help it.
"Oui, that was a terrible depiction of L'Amour." Francis said while being obviously bummed about how the day had turned out.
"I say, we go to an awesome bar and get awesomely drunk!" Then again, things could only get better from here.
"And then, he decided he could fucking pick out what I was going to wear! Who fucking does that anymore!"
"Ass holes! That's who!"
"Yeah, well I wore the damn outfit anyways, and Arthur really believed I was Alfred's sister! Can you believe that!"
"Fucking shit on a stick! That's the worst thing fucking ever! How totally un-fucking-awesome!"
Francis had his head buried in his hands. Going to a bar was the worst possible thing he could've agreed to. He tends to forget about the effect alcoholic had on Matthew. And with Gilbert. It was hell. Francis was getting ready to give up for the day. Maybe he could start getting as drunk as the other two.
"I know! Fuck..." Francis winced at the language his brother/son was using whilst drunk. He knew it was something he got from Arthur. Worst thing the boy could get, besides those eyebrows. "You'd never do that to me, though."
"Of course not! That would be completely un-awesome me!" The Canadian smiled warmly. Francis, on the other hand, was shocked. The good kind of shocked though. Maybe he shouldn't give up just yet.
"Mathieu~ What are you trying to say?" The Frenchman pushed.
"I'm just saying that Gilbert-" The blonde hiccuped. "- Is a good friend."
The albino in question grinned. "You're a wicked awesome friend too, Birdy."
Maybe it was the alcohol, but the Canadian was blushing a deeper red than usual. "You really think so..?"
"Of course. You're diffietly my best friend." Francis ignored the small feeling of hurt, he understood. Hopefully the two would say they love each other soon so he could head home. These two were tiering.
"I really like you." Matthew whispered.
"I do too." Gilbert replied whist leaning in slightly. Matthew followed suit, licking his lips.
"Maybe we should-"
"SCHEIßE!" The Prussian slipped off of the bar stool, he managed to grab the Canadian's shirt, but he was unstable as well, so they both went crashing to the floor.
Curing his luck, Francis was up quickly to help, buy he saw the position the two were in and hesitated. Gilbert was on his back and had his hands gripping the thighs of Matthew who was straddling him. His hands were next to the Prussian's head and they were staring at each other. Little more than a second passed before Francis, unable to contain himself yelled; "KISS HIM! KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM NOW."
Unsure of who the Frenchman was talking to they both leaned towards each other, smashing their heads in the process. Now it was starting to become a comedy of errors. The Prussian started laughing first and the Canadian followed suit. Somehow, in the midst of the laughing, the albino managed to catch his little birdy's lips. And that's how it went.
Francis drove the two to their respective houses, not wanting them to do something they'd regret and drove himself home for a well deserved sleep. The only thing that was nagging at his mind was the question "Will they remember everything when they wake up."
To make this short and sweet; when Francis woke up the next morning, he got a call from both Gilbert and Matthew thanking him.
THIS ENDING! UGH I couldn't figure out how it should end.
BUT OHMUHGUH THIS IS LONG FOR ME. Like, really long. And it's all typed up on my phone. Imagine. But yeah, thanks for being patient I guess. I meant to have this done yesterday, but I failed at that... Thanks for all the favourites and follows and reviews I've gotten! Makes everything worthwhile.
Anything you don't understand, use google translate~! Tee hee
Review if you'd like~!
Edit: Sorry for all the edits. But the line breaks keep failing on me ;~; I'm really sorry!