A/N: Thank you to everyone who reviewed and gave me name suggestions. I've been trying to get better about replying to all of them, and I think I'm doing a pretty good job! :) If for some reason I missed yours, don't take it personally. I'm not perfect. I can't believe I'm already at chapter ten. I've been considering making this story a trilogy if I can't fit everything that I need to into this one, but I'm not sure yet. Tell me what you think! Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own this story but not the Twilight Saga. I think we've established that.

CHAPTER 10:

ELLA'S POINT OF VIEW:

Things were hard after my fight with Alec. The biggest part was that he had to go back to school today, so I didn't get a chance to talk to him about it. We completely ignored each other on Friday and throughout the entire weekend. I wanted to be angry at him, but I really couldn't be since I was also part of the reason. I wouldn't get a chance until the weekend. I spent the day in the bedroom clutching his pillow to my face, crying. When would I stop screwing up? Probably never. I was doomed for life. What if I ruined our relationship? I shuddered at the thought. I didn't know how to stop thinking so negatively. It wasn't to Alec any good, and it certainly wasn't doing me any good. He had avoided me this morning, not kissing me before he left like he usually did. I was worried. Well, that wasn't exactly a new feeling because that's what I had felt for the past few months, so I guess I just added another thing to the list of things that were worrying me. There was nothing I could do about it, at least not until Friday night when he would be back again. My next thought had me sobbing all over again. What if he didn't come back to me?

After sobbing my heart out for a few minutes about that thought, I realized it was ridiculous since Alec said that he would fight to the bitter end to keep his daughter. He couldn't do that if he was away, so he had to come back. I was being silly. My hormones were just all over the place, I could feel it. They should be called horrormones instead of hormones.

I didn't like being alone. Most days I could stand it, but not today. All that was on my mind was Alec, and nothing could distract me. I can't believe I'm about to say this, but fortunately I had a doctor's appointment tomorrow afternoon at one. I was actually looking forward to it. Usually I would be dreading it, but at least I would be able to interact with people and not feel lonely.

I didn't go out much, obviously. With the pregnancy I didn't feel like going anywhere or doing anything, and I just got more fatigued as time continued on. The other reason was that this was an unfamiliar place, and I didn't know anybody. Life would be easier of I had a best friend to talk to, but I didn't. My best friend was Alec. It was just me and him against the world. Sometimes I felt like it was just me against the world. That was right now. I felt truly alone, even though I had a being very, very close to me.

Since I was bored, lonely, and afraid, I did something that I hadn't done in a while.

I called Courtney.

"Hello?" she asked.

"Hey Court, it's me, Ella," I said, wondering if she would even remember me.

It was silent for a few moments. "Ella Cullen?" she finally asked.

"Yes, who else?" I said.

"Oh my gosh! I totally thought that you like dropped off the face of the earth or something. We have so much catching up to do! So, what up gurl?"

I smiled at her enthusiasm. So she did remember me. Even though she was a friend from my badass days, she was still a true friend. Pretty much the only true friend I'd ever had. Katie had turned on us, which really surprised me since her and Courtney had been practically joined at the hip for so long.

"Well, a lots up. Long story short, I'm twenty-five weeks pregnant," I said.

I had to hold the phone away from my ear while she screamed. "Seriously?!"

"Yeah."

"Oh my gosh I have to come see you! Wait . . . where do you live?" she asked.

I giggled. "Los Angeles."

She paused. "California?"

I laughed again. "That's the only Los Angeles I know of."

"No, I'm just surprised. That's really great, actually. Because I'm staying in a dorm at UCLA," she informed me.

"Are you kidding? We've been so close all this time and haven't known it? We gotta meet up somewhere! Like, now!" I exclaimed.

"Sure. All my morning classes were cancelled and I don't have anything till three, so should we got out for lunch or something?" she suggested.

"Lunch sounds great. Can we go to that one Chinese place by the park? I'm really craving some rice and shrimp," I said.

"Sounds good. Meet you there at twelve-thirty?"

"Yep. See you there. Bye Courtney!"

"Bye!"

I hung up with her and went to change and put makeup on. I threw on a casual sundress and flipflops and pulled my hair back into a high ponytail. I put on some mascara and grabbed my favorite Coach purse. The drive to the restaurant didn't take long. Court already had a table for us. She jumped up and hugged me when I arrived.

"It's so good to see you!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, so what have you been up to?" I asked.

"Oh, just college drama. Late night parties, getting arrested, all of that fun stuff," she said.

Well she hasn't changed much. I missed those days, though. The days when I was innocent and free.

"So what's the latest romance gossip?" I asked.

"Oh, I'm through with Liam. I'm actually dating this guy that's in most of my classes at UCLA. His name is David," she said. "Are you still with Alec?"

"Yeah, definitely. He's the father of the baby, after all. We actually bought a house together. He goes to Stanford University," I said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Stanford? Really? That's like, one of the most prestigious schools on the West Coast. He never struck me as the brightest crayon in the box. What's he going for?" she asked.

"Actually he's on his last year of med school," I said.

"Really? But he's only like what, twenty?"

"Yeah, but he did his year of college and the first year of med school while we were still in high school. He wanted to get his degree from Stanford and do his residency at Cedars-Sinai, so here we are," I said.

"So onto a different topic, tell me about your baby," she said.

"Well, I told you that I was twenty-five weeks. I just can't believe that's it's gone by so fast. It's a girl, but I don't have a name picked out yet. The biggest thing you should know is that I'm putting it up for adoption," I said.

Her eyes grew wide. "What? Why? Don't you want her?"

"No, not really. This wasn't planned at all. I'm only eighteen, and I'm just trying to get my career started – both Alec and I are – and kids are something that has never crossed my mind. I never want kids, and I never wanted to get pregnant. I figure that by putting the baby up for adoption it would open up more opportunities for everyone involved," I said, hoping to have explained my decision well enough so that she would understand where I was coming from.

"Well, I guess it's your choice. I think you should keep the baby, though. You'd be a great mom. I know that this isn't really any of my business, but I think you should really consider your options. Weigh the pros and cons just a little bit more. Just know that I'm here to help you through it," she said.

I smiled. "Thanks Court. You have no idea how much that means to me. You're the only friend I have right now besides Alec, but even with him it's a little . . . strained."

She looked confused. "Strained? How? I thought you said that he is the perfect boyfriend."

"Oh he is," I assured her. "He just doesn't agree on my decision to place the baby for adoption. He wants to keep it."

"So why don't you?" she asked.

I looked at her. "I just explained that to you."

"I know, but how important is that to you? Let's rate this on a scale from one to ten, ten being the highest priority. How important do you think it is to Alec to keep the baby? I'm guessing that it's a ten or at least pretty high up there. Now how important is it to you to not keep the baby? I'm guessing probably a little bit less. You don't have to tell me, but you might want to think about it. I'm only trying to help," she said.

I knew that the baby was very important to Alec. I really didn't want this baby in the family, but was his want stronger than mine? This was something that we needed to talk about. Maybe this weekend things will have blown over, and we could talk like civil adults instead of ignoring each other like seven-year-old children.

"Thanks Court, it's definitely something to think about," I said.

We finished up lunch and then left shortly after. Court had to get back to class, and I was getting pretty tired. I think a nap was in order. A small kick from the baby told me that she agreed. I sighed, why was I thinking like that? The baby didn't understand anything. Oh no, could I already be getting attached? I reminded myself that I already had someone else waiting for her, and that I could not change my mind. I didn't want to disappoint them. I laid down for a late afternoon nap, and slept through the rest of the day and night and woke up at eight the next morning.

I was very discombobulated when I woke up. I had never slept for so long before. My phone dinged with the reminder of my appointment today at one. I got up and got ready for the day. Since I hadn't eaten for so long, breakfast was huge. I poured a bowl of cereal, with I snacked on while I made the waffles and eggs. I put bread in the toaster and cleaned up the mess while I waited for it to finish. When it was finally done, I sat at the barstool and ate.

I got about halfway through when I became very nauseous. I raced to the nearest bathroom and let out what I just ate. I wiped my mouth, panting and exhausted from the bout. I was really dizzy, so I grabbed the towel, scrunched it into a pillow and lay down on the bathroom floor. My stomach growled like I was hungry, but I was in no big hurry to attempt to eat again. I felt a flutter in my tummy, but it wasn't in my stomach. The baby was moving. I sat up slowly, only to lie right back down again because I was still very dizzy. I was forced up though when sickness hit me again. Tears were running down my face at this point. Why was this happening?

Morning sickness was normal, but I didn't know that it would be this severe. If the nausea didn't wear off soon, I'd have to cancel my appointment. I wasn't going to drive while feeling like this.

A couple hours later I was feeling a little better, so I got up and decided to try some saltine crackers. The baby was kicking like crazy to let me know that she was hungry. I was too. I nibbled very gingerly, not wanting to upset my already nauseous stomach. I was able to get three and a half crackers down until I had to run to the bathroom again.

It was already noon, so I decided to call and cancel my appointment. I had a feeling that this would last a while. Maybe it wasn't from the pregnancy; maybe I just had the stomach flu. Though it seemed a little unlikely since it was February.

"Cedars-Sinai Medical Center this is Kelly how can I help you?"

"Hi I need to cancel my appointment," I said.

"Okay, name?"

"Ella Cullen," I replied.

"What is your reason for cancellation?"

"I have severe morning sickness and I'm dizzy so driving really wouldn't be the best idea," I explained.

The phone was silent. I was expecting her to say something back in her bored tone, but there was no sound.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Hello Ella this is Nurse Brooks. Kelly told me about your symptoms and I highly recommend coming in today," she said.

"But I really don't feel like going anywhere," I said.

"This isn't about what you want; it's about what's good for you. If you can't drive then take a cab or something. Either way you need to come," she said.

I sighed. "Fine, I guess I'll see you around one then," I said.

Why was it so important that I go in when I was feeling so crappy? Surely the follow-up ultrasound could wait another day, or week, depending on how quickly this passed. I grabbed my keys and unwillingly got into the car. The entire way there I wondered what could be so urgent. As soon as I walked in the door, a nurse was waiting for me.

"I'm Nurse Locklyn Brooks. I spoke with you on the phone and I will be doing your ultrasound and blood draw today," she said as we walked toward an exam room.

"I already got the five vials drawn, though," I said.

"We won't be taking five vials. Only one or two. I'd like to get the first one drawn now so that it can be sent immediately to the lab and we can hopefully have the results shortly," she said.

"Okay. What's going on? Why is it so urgent and why do I have to get my blood drawn?" I asked as she readied the materials.

"We just want to do some testing to make sure that everything's fine. What you're experiencing isn't normal during pregnancy. It might just be the common flu, but it's better to be safe," she explained and she stuck the needle into me arm.

She sent that off to the lab before turning on the machine and laying me down on the table. The baby came into view, and she was actually starting to look like a human. I could even make out tiny fingers and toes.

But there was something that looked a little strange. There was a little ring around her neck.

"What's that thing around her neck?" I asked.

"It's the umbilical cord," Nurse Brooks said quietly.

"I take it that's not good?"

"No, it's not. But it still doesn't explain your sickness," she said.

"Will it be a problem, though?" I asked.

She nodded. "Most likely. I'll give you more information once I get the results of your blood test."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. Dr. Atera appeared with the test results in her hands. "I'll take it from here, Locklyn."

The nurse left and Dr. Atera came over to me.

"There's something you need to know, Ella," she said solemnly.

"Okay?" I said, unsure.

She flipped open the test results to show me. "These are your HCG levels. As you can see, they have been dropping slowly, but at a steady pace throughout your checkups here. HCG levels do wane after you reach a certain point of your pregnancy, usually close to the time of labor, but yours are significantly lower than what you should have. This is a sign of premature labor."

"Okay, but isn't it normal for babies to sometimes come a few days early?" I asked.

"Yes. But from what your HCG levels are showing, this tells me that you're going to give birth in four to five weeks," she said.

I gaped. "But, that's like more than two months early!"

She nodded. "Ten weeks, to be exact. You are now expected to give birth on March twenty-second."

I froze. "Five weeks."

"There's also another complication," she said.

"And that would be?" I croaked, my voice weak.

"As you saw on the sonogram picture, the umbilical cord is wrapped around the fetus' neck. I believe that your HCG levels are dropping because of the fact that it won't be able to grow with that restriction. Therefore, it needs to be born early in order to live. The problems being that, A, the fetus is barely developed, but with special care that can be handled. B, you won't be able to have natural birth because of the umbilical cord around the neck. And C, it's extremely dangerous to do a Cesarean Section when the fetus is still so young," Dr. Atera said.

I took a minute to absorb what she had said, but I still didn't get what she was saying. "I don't understand," I told her.

"In other words." She paused. "The chances of the baby surviving are slight to none and I recommend that you get an abortion as soon as possible to protect yourself and keep the baby from suffering."

I was shocked. Was she really saying that I needed an abortion?

"What would happen if I don't abort it?" I asked.

"The main thing is that you would be putting your life at risk. This will have a significant negative effect on your body and your body may not be able to cope with it. You have a possibility of dying. The second thing is that even if you carried this baby to term, which is five weeks from now, it can't be delivered by natural birth and, like I said, it's dangerous to do a Cesarean Section so early. Most of the time they are unsuccessful, and it results in the baby dying. And lastly, of course it is always dangerous for a fetus to be born prematurely. By getting an abortion, you would save both yourself and the fetus from suffering," she explained.

This was so much to take in. My mind couldn't deal with it. I felt tears forming in my eyes. I needed to be alone.

"Can I have a minute?" I asked Dr. Atera.

She nodded. "Of course. I have to go file these results anyway. And don't be shy to ask any questions you may have. I am here to answer them. I'll be back in a few minutes."

This saddened me. The adoptive parents would be so heartbroken, and so would I. This child didn't deserve to die, but it also didn't deserve to suffer. I was torn. I put my hands to my womb and sobbed. I could feel my daughter moving, but it wasn't as strong as usual. Probably from being tied down at the neck. Because of that, she didn't have room to grow. What could have gone wrong? I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing; eating right, exercising, but not too intensively, and was taking my vitamins. Even though I didn't know what went wrong, I blamed myself. My stupid ovaries were the things that got me into this situation in the first place.

I grabbed my phone and called Alec. I didn't want to decide anything without talking to him first. I had perfect timing, he was on his break.

"Hey Babe, how'd the appointment go?" he asked.

"Horrible!" I sobbed.

"What? What's wrong?" he asked worriedly.

I told him everything that Dr. Atera had told me. I told him of her opinion, and I told him how I felt.

"What should I do?" I asked when I finished explaining the problems to Alec.

He was quiet for a moment. "Do whatever you feel is right. I am not for the abortion, but if it is what will keep you alive then do it. I can have another child, but can't have another you."

"I don't know. This is just so much, you know?" I said.

"I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now, Ella. Just promise me one thing though, okay? Promise me that you will not blame yourself for this complication. This is not in your control. I know how careful you have been, but sometimes things like this just happen. It is not your fault, got it?"

I didn't answer. I wasn't sure if I agreed with him. "Yeah, whatever."

"I mean it," he said firmly. "Maybe I should take a leave from school. I'll go back when we've got this all figured out."

"No! You need to stay at school, Alec. I'll be fine, I promise. I'll hang out with my friend Courtney or something," I said hurriedly, saying whatever reason I could think of to keep him in school. He was so close; I wasn't going to let him change that now.

"Wait, Courtney as in Courtney Marshall?" he asked.

"Yes, from high school," I said.

"Wow. Small world. Anyway, I have to go, but we'll discuss this weekend, okay?"

I agreed. I hung up with him and Dr. Atera walked back in soon after.

"Have you had enough time, Honey?" she asked kindly.

I nodded. "Yeah. I'm just really disappointed."

She nodded sympathetically. "Anybody would be."

"So there's absolutely no way that I can safely give birth?" I asked.

"Well there really is no way to get the neck free of the umbilical cord, but, maybe if we talked with the surgeon ahead of time and took a few more looks at the sonogram, we could find out a way to safely deliver the baby via Cesarean Section," she said.

"But doesn't it have to be before I go into labor?" I asked.

"Yes, and that is where the complication comes in with her being a preemie. We want to keep her in your womb for as long as possible, but we don't want to have to rush into an emergency C-Section because then we will have less time to work carefully," she said.

"What's wrong with doing natural birth?" I asked.

"The umbilical cord will tighten or possibly get stuck in the process therefore strangling the infant," she said.

"Well, then I guess C-Section is the only option," I said.

"Yes. I'll talk to the surgeon and see if we can schedule a time to meet and get everything figured out," she said.

"Thanks. You're really going all out to help me," I said, giving her a gracious smile.

"And I will stop at nothing. That's what I'm here for," she said.

After checking my vitals one more time, I was free to go. Dr. Atera said she'd call me when she had a chance to talk with the surgeon. I drove home, and immediately grabbed some veggies and dip for a quick and filling snack.

As I chill on the couch snacking, I was thinking through the day's events. Why had I turned down the option for abortion when that's what I had wanted to begin with? People had stopped me, but now I had a very good reason for doing it. So why didn't I? I didn't like the idea of killing a living being, but it would save us both from a lot of suffrage. Wait . . . why did that matter to me? Did I love my daughter? I sighed, shaking my head. I just didn't know anymore.

The dangers of the procedure scared me, but these adoptive parents were really counting on me to give them the child that they've always wanted. Besides, if she didn't make it, at least I will have done everything possible.

"We are going to FIGHT, Baby Girl," I said to her.

A/N: Will they ever catch a break? Haha, no! This chapter was hard to write because honestly could have gone several different ways. You know how I like to add an interesting twist to the plot. ;) Please review tell me what you think, and of course leave name suggestions! I've written all of the one's I've gotten so far down in a notebook and the person who came up with them and picking out my favorites. There are so many! I'm getting pretty busy and I have to write a new chapter for my story Kiss Me Like It's Do Or Die, so expect another chapter within the next week. Thanks for reading and don't turn away!