Chapter 10

A deafening roar from the street caught Maura's attention as she put the finishing touches on her ensemble. She moved the curtain aside with one hand, the other preoccupied fixing her earring.

There, right outside her house, was a motorcycle.

Why?

She squinted at the person dismounting the bike, her eyes widening as the helmet lifted, revealing those perfect raven curls.

Oh.

Oh.

Her mouth went dry as Jane ran a hand through her hair to try and fix it. The leather jacket she was wearing hugged her curves and kept the definition of her arms and...Maura tried to keep her breathing steady, but it stayed shallow, her pulse pounding in her neck.

How was she supposed to go an entire night without jumping this woman?

Why had she agreed to go an entire night without jumping this woman?

Well…that wasn't necessarily true. She could try if she really wanted to, but the card Topher had given her specifically told her that her relationship with this woman was not at that point yet.

She dropped the curtain, because any more staring at that woman and she wouldn't even make it to the art gallery.

One last look in the mirror and she was satisfied, making her way slowly down the steps.

She couldn't wait to hold Jane's hand and walk around on her arm and talk with her all night…Wait.

Her feet froze where they were, two steps from the front door.

Where did those thoughts come from? There was nothing lustful about holding hands or any of that…Did…was she…? No. No, she couldn't be. She could not be in love with this woman. No way. She was a different woman every time. She couldn't be in love with all of them, all of whom she'd only met once. And she couldn't love her body or her face…

Who was she in love with?

She thought hard. Really hard.

She loved the woman who cared for her. Who gave her advice. Who opened up and told funny little stories, be them informative or embarrassing…Still.

She was in love.

And she didn't even know who she was in love with.

Not good. Really, really not good.

No.

She had to stop seeing this woman.

She peeked out through the panel of glass at the side of her front door. Her cheeks flushed at the way Jane was leaning so casually against the bike, the tone of her stomach visible through her shirt. How could she just leave that alone?

Nope.

She squeezed her eyes shut.

She had to stop seeing her.

She couldn't stop seeing her.

She had to.

She opened one eye once again.

She couldn't.

Flinging the door open, she rushed outside.

"Hey!" Jane called brightly, politely straightening her stance.

Maura shoved all her previous thoughts out the window, smiling warmly at the brunette.

"Hello, yourself. I don't recall you mentioning a motorcycle."

"I didn't," Jane said with a grin. "I wanted to surprise you."

"We're going to a formal art gallery," Maura said pointedly. "Isn't it a little…"

"Rebellious?" Jane's pride was obviously boosted. "I like a little excitement."

Maura couldn't seem to wipe the smile off her face, though the very explicit thoughts running through her mind were almost enough.

"You look…really nice," the brunette continued.

Maura smiled wider.

"Thank you. But you can tell me that later. We're going to be late."

Jane chuckled and shrugged out of her jacket.

"Here. It'll protect you," she said softly as she guided it up Maura's shoulders.

Maura's heart took off at the gentlemanly gesture, any disappointment she had previously felt at Jane removing the sexy jacket already swept away.

She watched Jane mount the bike, then carefully crawled on behind her. She wrapped her arms around Jane to brace for the ride, but Jane didn't go. Maura could feel her body shaking under her grasp, and she put her chin on Jane's shoulder to get a better look at the brunette's face.

It was scrunched up in painful joy as she tried to keep her laughing silent.

"What?" Maura asked.

"Y'know you can get a little closer, right? I don't bite," she managed to get out before laughing a little more loudly.

Maura gave a small pout. She thought she was being courteous. But apparently that wasn't what Jane wanted, so she scooted up close. Really close. Her entire body was flat against Jane's back, her arms with a tight hold around Jane's waist.

"Better?" she asked against Jane's neck.

Jane swallowed audibly, nodding.

"Put on the helmet," she said, reaching for a second one.

"I don't want helmet-hair!" Maura exclaimed.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Yeah and wind-swept frizzy hair would be so much better, especially with the added threat of death hovering over you."

Maura gave her an irritated face.

"Alright, alright. You don't have to use sarcasm on me," she mumbled, pulling the offered helmet on before wrapping her arms around Jane once again.

The ride was exhilarating. Her heart was pounding fast enough with Jane in between her legs. The rush that came from the feeling of weaving between cars made her almost light-headed. She just held onto Jane even more tightly, resting her head to Jane's shoulder until they slowed to a stop in the parking lot.

Jane held the bike for her as she dismounted, the brunette following quickly after. They both pulled their helmets off, Jane's hair just as wild and yet completely immaculate as it was before. She smiled at Maura's self-conscious look, hanging both the helmets on the bike before going back to Maura's side.

Gently, she ran her fingers through Maura's hair, fixing the minor imperfections the honey-blonde could not see without a mirror. She then carefully ran her fingers down the front lock, tucking it behind Maura's ear. Her fingers lingered at the edge of Maura's jaw, her eyes locking with Maura's for long seconds.

She leaned forward hesitantly, letting their lips press together firmly yet so…so softly.

Maura could see fire and stars and collapsing worlds.

Jane then abruptly pulled away, clearing her throat. Maura didn't miss the blush nearly masked under the tan Italian skin.

Was that their first kiss? No. Wasn't that. First kiss in public? Probably.

Just to be sure, she rocked up onto her toes and gave Jane a firmer, more heated kiss.

"C'mon, Jordan," Maura said to relieve her of her insecurity. "We're going to be late."

Jane groaned, but allowed herself to be guided toward the hotel.

"Can I clarify this one more time?" she asked.

"Yes," Maura said, her amusement evident.

"We're going on a date."

"Yes."

"To an art installment."

"Yes."

"Where we will, almost certainly, see your mother, whom you are not on the best of terms with."

"Yes!" Maura laughed, putting her chin on Jane's shoulder and kissing her cheek.

"…and I haven't even seen you naked yet?"

"Jordan!" Maura berated, slapping Jane's arm.

"What?!" Jane cringed away playfully. "Jeez, woman, calm down! I was just clarifying!"

"Why?" Maura asked slyly. "Do you want to see me naked?"

Jane chuckled, dipping down to kiss Maura quickly (and more confidently) before focusing back on walking.

"Sweetie, I've been mentally undressing you for the past two months. That's not the point."

"What is the point?"

"Most couples…they do bigger favors because they want to keep having sex. I can't be pussy whipped already, can I?"

"Oh." Maura's face fell. She hadn't thought of that. "I'm sorry. Normal social standards aren't my strong suit…I just…If you're uncomfortable—"

"—Then I would've told you back when you asked, or at your place earlier, or on the way—"

Maura cut her off with a kiss, smiling against Jane's lips.

"I get it," she murmured, kissing the brunette again.

"Good…I was just messing with you anyway," Jane said quietly, pulling back enough to look Maura in the eye. "So…should we get this show on the road?"

"Yes," Maura said with a nod. "Yes we should."

Security let them through, and hand in hand, they walked through the different wings. Maura only had half her attention on the pieces. Mostly, she found herself enraptured with the adorable faces Jane made, namely the slight crease in her brow from her deep concentration, and the crinkle in her nose when she scrunched it up every so often.

She had expected this woman to be like her. She had expected her to have a higher background, as she had specifically asked for someone who would impress her mother and enjoy an art gallery. But she could tell, just by looking, that this woman had the perspective of art that came from someone common.

"These make me feel like I'm personally victimizing society by living on my own," Jane muttered.

Maura laughed quietly.

"Seriously!" Jane exclaimed, trying not to laugh too. "Why? All I'm looking at is garbage and glass made to look like water!"

"You don't like it?" Maura asked.

"I never said that! I love art. This isn't bad either. Be even so, it's so much harder to enjoy without a clear purpose. And I…I see her message. I just wish I know her goal—"

"You sound like some of the people I work with," Maura laughed.

"Oh?"

"Yes. They've got this…this sort of curiosity. I find it so admirable, that they…that they really do want to know what happened to the victims…"

She knew the heavy subject wasn't helping her, and she unconsciously squeezing Jane's hand tighter. She hated screwing things up, especially the little moments she seemed to find with this woman.

"Did you just call me admirable?" Jane quipped.

"M-maybe," Maura stuttered. "Indirectly, I suppose."

"Aww, c'mon! Stick with your compliment!"

"I…Well, alright. I think you're admirable. And beautiful. And very art-savvy."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, yeah, okay. If I didn't know you better, I'd start to think you were venturing into sarcasm land."

"I was serious! I was trying flattery."

"I know," Jane laughed. "That's why I said 'If I didn't know you better.' Now can we please get back to figuring out your mother's hidden agenda here? Please?"

Maura cleared her throat in mock-professionalism.

"Yes. Of course…except. It appears you'll be able to simply ask her," Maura said, a fake smile already donned as she looked at someone in the crowd.

"Maura, darling, I'm thrilled you could make it."

Her mother appeared from behind a crowd, the artist simply kissing her daughter on the cheek. Maura squeezed Jane's hand more firmly, tugging her closer.

"Mother, this is my girlfriend, Jordan."

Jane extended her hand, and Constance took it with a professional smile, but Maura could see they were both sizing each other up.

"Are you enjoying yourself?" Constance asked, clasping her hands together and looking between the two women.

"Your work is very profound. I'm not surprised at all by the success of the gallery," Maura quickly praised.

"And you?"

"Well, y'know, besides the guilty pangs I'm getting from being an independent person, I'd say I'm having a great time. But kudos to you…for making me feel it in the first place. That takes talent."

Maura saw shock flash in her mother's eyes, and she felt panic start to seep in. What was going on? The Dollhouse had never failed her before, but she wasn't entirely sure how this would leave a good impression on her mother.

"So then," Constance said, her tone clipped. "If you don't mind me asking, what on Earth is an independent woman such as yourself doing tied down to my daughter?"

Jane laughed. "Because, Ma'am. Your daughter's better than any independence I've ever known. I dunno if you know, but she's just about the smartest, most thoughtful, caring, warm person I've ever met. She is loyal and loving and I would give up my independence for her before I gave it up for the world, as you are so boldly telling me to do through your art."

Constance opened her mouth to speak, but Jane cut her off.

"And. I'll have you know, I'm honored that your daughter picked me. Hell, I'm surprised she did. Maura's more beautiful than Winged Victory and l'Origine du Monde combined."

Maura blushed a shade of crimson, the bold words pounding in her ears almost as loudly as her heartbeat, and she grabbed Jane by the arm to tug her away, not even bothering to look at her mother.

"You just compared me to the Goddess Nike and implied to my mother that we've had sex," she hissed as they weaved through the crowd.

"Yeah, well it wasn't anything she hadn't already assumed!" Jane protested. "And I didn't imply we've had sex; I just…implied I've seen you naked."

"Which we've already established you haven't."

"Yeah. Well. It's fun to pretend," Jane muttered, allowing herself to be dragged outside.

"Of all the naked paintings out there, you had to pick the one that is focused entirely on the woman's vag—"

"YES," Jane laughed. "I needed to knock your mother off her high horse, and that seemed like the easiest way to do it!"

"I've never even remotely stood up to my mother," Maura said, her panic showing clearly now. "I…she…what just happened? Is she going to disown me? Is she going to tell me to never speak to you again?"

Her breathing quickened, and Jane instantly put her hand on the woman's shoulder, guiding her to sit on the motorcycle.

"Maura, sweetie, it's okay. Just take deep breaths."

"That was…that was exhilarating," Maura let the words drift off with her exhale.

She peered up at Jane, giving the brunette her first look into dark, aroused eyes.

"Jesus," Jane breathed.

She had just enough time to realize what was going on before Maura threw her arms around Jane's neck and pulled her down for a less than appropriate kiss in public. She held Maura's weight as best she could, tentatively wrapping her hands around Maura's back. Just when she was afraid she needed oxygen, Maura pulled away.

"Maur," Jane gasped. "I…I think we…I think we should talk about this."

Maura pouted, her grip on Jane's neck not loosening.

"Now?" she asked.

Jane half-smiled, still trying to rein in her breathing.

"How about I take you home, first, huh?"

Although not entirely satisfied with the answer, Maura nodded. The ride back was almost more tortuous than the ride up. Her heart still raced from the speed and the close proximity to Jane's wonderful body. The difference this time was the much more noticeable heat between her legs. She tried to ignore it, squeezing her eyes shut tight inside the helmet, gripping around Jane's waist like a vice.

They pulled to a stop outside Maura's house, and she managed to dismount more gracefully than her first attempt. She waited for Jane to get off as well before making her way up to the front door. She opened it and entered, knowing full well if she had held it open for Jane, she would've gotten a furrowed brow and scrunched up nose.

She went straight for the kitchen, pouring herself a glass of wine and grabbing a beer for her guest. Turning back around, she found Jane already sitting on the couch. The brunette took the drink, but simply put it in her lap, staring down at it.

"I know we haven't really…talked about it," Jane said carefully.

Maura kept her face neutral, her hands to herself as she sat, trying so desperately to ignore the voice screaming at her deep inside her head. You're in love with her. How in the hell are you in love with her?

Jane chanced a glance up at Maura. "And I know I've been…reserved."

Off Maura's raised eyebrows, she blushed and dropped her gaze once again.

"Okay, like a fucking nun," she muttered.

Maura saw her walls closing up, and she wanted nothing more than to stop them. Without thinking, she wasn't sure if any other thought was going through her head besides 'love', she climbed into Jane's lap and cupped her face to force their eyes to meet.

"Don't do that," she said softly. "Keep going."

She pressed her lips so tenderly to Jane's, the brunette quivered beneath her. She slipped off Jane's lap, but left her hands on her knees, rubbing them softly.

"I just…I…I'm no good at this."

Maura couldn't help the small laugh she gave.

"You're not," she admitted.

"But that's the point," Jane pressed. "You deserve more."

Maura's brow furrowed.

More than what?

Jane frowned and hesitantly took one of Maura's hands in her own, looking down at it. She didn't speak for a while. Instead, she just drew circles on the back of Maura's hand, her eyes staying locked downward.

"I don't want it to be just sex."

"It wouldn't be," Maura assured. "I—" She stopped herself. "I care for you."

Jane shrugged.

"Yeah. Well…Even friends care for each other. That's not…it's…I don't talk about things. And that's what you deserve. You deserve someone who can talk to you about their hopes and fears and dreams. I don't. I don't like to, and I don't know if I…if I ever could."

Maura's chest felt heavy as she stared at the woman she finally realized she loved. She watched her warm chocolate eyes get glossy from sad, ashamed tears, and she didn't want to do anything else in the world but fix this.

"Don't think that," she said quietly.

She squeezed Jane's hand firmly.

"But I can't," Jane whispered back.

"What're you doing right now?"

The question hung heavy around them. Maura could hear Jane's breathing slow until she wasn't breathing at all, her eyes searching Maura's hazel ones, confused until they brightened with a clarity of understanding.

And then Maura couldn't see anything because Jane was on top of her, kissing her, demanding her to move with her. Maura had expected it to be hurried or desperate, but it wasn't. It was territorial. It was firm, but loving. That's what took her breath away. That's what made her heart hammer in her chest. That's what made her bones ache for Jane and what made the throbbing in her core get more pronounced.

The slim chance that maybe this woman loved her back.

Truly.

Jane pulled away, hovering just above her, and Maura took in a deep breath.

"I…can we just…?" Jane blushed and bit her lip, sitting up the rest of the way. "Hold me?"

The question was timid and clear and desperate in a different way.

Maura was nodding before she thought to answer, and Jane's hands were pulling her up. They walked to Maura's bedroom, Jane's hand squeezing Maura's for dear life. They changed out of their fancy clothing as fast as they could, reconnecting their touch as soon as was possible under the covers.

And Maura held tight. Even with her smaller frame, she wrapped her arms around Jane from behind, tangled their legs together, and didn't let go. She nuzzled her cheek against Jane's nearly bare shoulder, letting out a contented sigh.