*L's POV*

There was a scream from somewhere above me. Light.

It took a moment for the noise to collect in my mind before I could move. I dropped whatever I had in my hands and raced for the stairs. There was another yell as I reached the landing. I pushed into our room, where the sound was loudest and running water could be heard.

But as I reached the bathroom door, the handle refused to turn. But Light was on the other side. I could hear him. His voice was broken, crying.

"Make them go away!" he yelled.

"Light," I called through the wood. "Unlock the door." But it was like he couldn't hear me. His pleads just continued. A discomfort filled in my chest, and a feeling like excess caffeine in my brain made my body jittery... then it set in deeper. "Unlock the door," I repeated, twisting the door handle frantically, though I knew it would do nothing to help.

"Make it stop!" came again and again.

He wouldn't listen. He wouldn't do what I asked. I needed to get this door open. But my brain was rushed and in a panic. What should I do?

Before I had much more time to think, there was another yell that was doused in pain. My body moved without my instruction, backing me up so that my foot could connect with the door. There was a crack and I could see the wood spitting, but it didn't give way. With another kick, the door burst in, hot steam pouring out of the bathroom.

I rushed in and through the haze found Light on the ground, writhing. I took a step towards him, my bare foot meeting something warm and sticky. But that didn't matter. The floor was sticky. I didn't care.

I moved closer to Light, dropping to my knees, the warmth seeping through my jeans. My hands took Light's body and did my best to hold him still. He fought against me, tears streaming down his face.

"Help," he begged.

"I'm here. I'm helping," I said as gently as I could. I took his hand in mine and used the other to reach over and turn off the water that was still running at way hotter a temperature than it ever needed to be. "It's alright now. They're gone." What was gone? What had he seen?

My gaze lowered to his body and my breath caught in my chest. Deep scratches covered his torso and arms, drawing blood. His fingernails were crimson and the color matched the heat that was touching my knees.

I swiftly pulled him to me, holding him tightly. He clutched to me and hid his face in my shirt. I could feel more blood soaking through to my skin from what Light had done to himself.

"Are they gone?" Light said in a muffled voice against me.

"They're gone. I've got you," I said softly, my hand running over his hair in as soothing a way as I could. "You're safe. I promise."

"They keep showing up," he cried. "They won't go away!"

"What Light?" I was more than confused. What had happened that had caused him to have such an extreme mental breakdown? What had made it so that he would hurt himself in such a way. Why was he clawing at himself?

"The death note! It's always there. Please make it stop!"

Those words made me stumble and fall back against the bathroom wall. Light curled up closer to me, digging his face so deep into my chest that it hurt. My hands grew numb and stopped in their comforting caresses.

That's why Light had been so on edge and withdrawing. The death note. Ryuk hadn't stopped like I thought he had. This was all my fault. I never should have done that in the first place. I was slowly destroying Light. I was slowly driving him insane.

"Please, L. Please." Light's voice was a little more than a whisper now and he just kept repeating the word please. Over and over. A broken record in my ears.

"I'll make this right," I muttered, hugging Light tightly. "I'll make this right."

He clutched to me tightly, his breathing fanatic. I had never seen him like this. Even in that hotel where he cried in the bathroom before the charity event. He had never been this broken. Not even when I came back and he had spilled everything to me. I could remember that so clearly, especially this one part. It was so interesting. His eyes were so dark, I don't think I had ever seen then that dark. And he looked thin like he hadn't eaten in months,

But his voice, the way he spoke. He sounded absolutely terrified. Like he was staring death right in the face. Like I was his executioner.

"There's a monster hiding in the mirror and when I lean in close he comes nearer. he looks deep into my eyes and see the fear. 'Hush baby, hush,' he whispers. 'You're the only one who knows I'm here.'"

Was this that person? Was that person the one tormenting him?

No. I couldn't pass off the blame. It was my fault and as soon as I got Light to calm down and relax, then I would confront Ryuk. I would protect Light the best way that I could. That was my job. To protect people. And I couldn't let that pass over Light. He needed it too. More than anyone else.

"Can you stand?" I asked softly. He gave a small nod, still shaking in my grasp. "Let's get you cleaned up."

It was difficult to say the least. He was extremely jumpy and kept glancing around as I tried to clean up his fingernails. It was as if he was waiting for someone to find him. I moved onto his chest where the worst of the cuts were and began cleaning those. Surprisingly, Light didn't flinch when I used the hydrogen peroxide, he just kept within himself.

Not even when he had been stabbed and went into shock, had he been like this. This was so new and strange to me, I wasn't sure how to help him. This was the best I could give him.

There was a knock on the door that hung loosely off the hinges. Light jumped, startled and I glanced back to see Watari. He had a concerned expression on his face. "Is there anything I can do, sir?" he asked in a gentle voice.

I looked back to Light, who was still trembling. I looked into his eyes, but it was like nothing was there to behold. An endless depth of ink, sorrow, and pain. I could not see whites of his eyes nor the vessels that flowed through them.

What could I do to help? What was the best course of action for Light? It was still in the afternoon and I had work that needed to get done. I needed to finish typing up a report and I had a deadline for another case that I hadn't even looked at yet, though I knew it wouldn't be hard.

What could I do? Maybe... Light needed medical help. Maybe he needed more than what I could give him here. Maybe I needed to send him away for the night? I couldn't bare the thought of that though. And I knew that Light would be angry with me.

His body might have been reacting this way and his mind was obviously not all there, but it was like when he was on medication for his injury. His body was not working the way he wanted it to, but his mind was there, trapped. That's where he was now. I knew he was. He was scared and trapped within himself.

I couldn't afford to have Light out of sight though. I needed to be beside him. I needed to protect him. That's what he needed. Constant attention. Constant supervision. Constant contact.

I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck, a feeling of ambivalence overwhelming me. "Watari, can you please help clean Light. I need to handle something momentarily and then..." I paused, looking back at Light's whose grip had tightened aggressively on my shirt. My hand went to his cheek and I gently caressed him. "Then I would like dinner made. Something gentle, like soup. And I will spend the rest of the night with Light in bed. I will finish my work in the morning."

I tried to pull away from Light, but his hold on my shirt didn't loosen. I took his hands in mine and tried to prite myself free, but he struggled against me, shaking his head. I stopped and pulled him into a hug, ignoring more of the crimson that wet my shirt.

I placed a kiss to his head. "It's alright," I whispered as compassionately as I could. "Watari is going to take care of you, just for a moment. I'll be back soon. I promise. Just give me a few minutes." He shook his head against my chest. God, what had I done to him? "I need you to let go. Can you do that for me?"

I pulled back slightly and gave him a small reassuring smile. This was something that i had never had to deal with before. I had dealt with my own panic attacks, but this was different. I wasn't sure how best to deal with Light's attack.

The was a sharp inhale from Light and his hands robotically released the fabric that they held to. I placed another kiss to his head and muttered a thank you before heading to the door. I pulled Watari to me so I could speak softly without Light hearing.

"Is there something you would suggest?" I asked, foot rubbing against the back of my other leg nervously.

Watari was silent for a moment. "I believe that he should receive some form of medical help."

"And how should we go about that?"

"I will take care of it sir," Warati replied directly.

"Please don't let him out of your sight until I come back."

Watari gave me a nod in understanding and turned to Light, who was holding himself tightly. I left the room hesitantly, but I knew Light was in good hands. That helped lessen my worry slightly, but I still had a problem to deal with. One that was monstrous and yellow eyed.

I made my way downstairs to the kitchen and snached up a straberry from the bowl on the counter. My worry was slowly dissolving into a rage. "Ryuk!" I called bitterly before eating the strawberry and grabbing another one. "So help me god, if you do not show-"

"What's wrong?" A raspy voice asked before the form of the Shinigami appeared.

I almost laughed, but stopped myself. "What's wrong?" I asked back. "What have you done to Light?"

"Light? What happened to Light?" Ryuk jumped up on the counter and crossed his abnormally long legs. I gave him a cynical look and he returned it with a confused expression of his own. "I don't just hang around this house, you know. I have other things that I need to take care of. One of which I am not doing now."

"I don't give a shit about what-"

"What happened?" There was a shine in those eyes of his and a laugh trapped behind his razor like teeth. "Why are you so worked up?"

"You've been placing the death note around again. And I don't know how you found it from where I hid it, but you need-"

"I don't know what you're talking about," he interrupted again, enjoyment present in his features.

I paused, more anger in me, the strawberry beginning to make my hand sticky from me smashing it in my fist. "What do you mean you don't know?" My jaw was clenched.

"I haven't touched the death notes since that first day when you decided to run experiments." His smile seemed to grow, though I wasn't sure how it did. "What has happened with Light?"

"He keeps seeing the death notes everywhere," I answered, moving to the sink to wash off my hand. The water was cold against my skin and turned the sink a light pink before slowly turning back into the clear it normally was.

"Does he now?" Ryuk sneered. "Interesting."

"And you're not doing it?" I shut off the water, but didn't turn back around, just slid my hands into my jean pockets.

"Why are you covered in blood?"

I paused and glanced down at myself. My knees were a dark red color and my shirt had lighter red handprints on it. It reminded me of that day in the rain. That day that I thought Light had slipped away from me forever with the simple blade of a knife. But we had made it through that, we would make it through this. We had to. I wasn't sure what I would do without him. Life wasn't simple anymore.

"He hurt himself because of seeing the death note." I inhaled deeply and turned back around. "How am I supposed to trust you?"

"You can't." Ryuk finally gave into the laugh that was on his tongue. "All I can say is that I haven't touch the death note since that day. It's up to you to believe me or not."

But I did believe him. He would have no reason to lie. And it didn't sound like he was lying. I would just have to trust him. But then that meant that Light was hallucinating in some way. Maybe he was going crazy. Maybe he did need more medical help that what I could give him here. Maybe I should lock him-

What? No. I would never do that. I couldn't stand to see him locked up in a padded room. I couldn't stand to see his mind go to waste like that. I couldn't live with myself if he fell apart and was all alone.

But that was the worst scenario. I had to hope for the best. That was the only way I would be able to get through everything that I needed to do. That would be the only way to insure our future.

"Get out of here," I whispered. I was in no way ready for what the rest of the night held and I didn't want to have to spend more time with Ryuk than I had to. For some reason, against all I knew was right, I blamed him for everything that had happened to Light, though I knew that he had just as much hand in his own fate as the death god had.

I sighed and headed through the rooms until I reached the staircase that lead up to my bedroom. When I entered the room all I could hear was running water from the bathroom. I walked to the doorway and stopped.

Watari was finishing up cleaning the floor and a dressed Light sat on the edge of the tub, watching, motionless. Had Watari given Light my own clothes, or had Light asked to wear them? I needed to change myself. I left to change and then returned to the bathroom where Light was now on his feet and trying to help Watari.

I stepped forward and took Light's arm gently. He glanced up at me apologetically and tried to go back to helping Watari, but I pulled him away and into the bedroom. I forced him to the bed, though it wasn't difficult and he didn't put up much of a fight. I pushed him down and gave a sigh.

"Can you explain what happened?" I asked in as calm a voice as I could. Light's eyes left the bathroom and came to my face with what looked like a pleading expression in them. Maybe now wasn't the time. I could ask him about it later. "What can I do, Light? What would help you?"

His eyes left my face and returned blankly to the bathroom. I wasn't going to get any words out of him. He was too traumatized by whatever he saw. Hopefully he would feel better in the morning. I just hoped that Light would return. Whatever or whoever was in front of me wasn't Light. Not the Light that I knew, anyhow.

But the best thing that I could do for him right now, the best way to care for him that I knew how, was to stay by his side. He didn't need to be chained up. He wasn't going to go anywhere.

"Can you lie down?" I questioned gently, my hand taking his shoulder. He did as I asked without a fuss and I brushed back his hair from his forehead. His skin was hot, feverish. I needed to get him some more medicine and fluids. "Watari is going to make some food, and we'll get you some more medicine. How about we turn on a movie? Would you like that?"

No response.

A nervousness began to set further into my bones. What if he wasn't alright by tomorrow? What if this had permanently scared him?

"Sir, I will make all the necessary arrangements," Watari said behind me. "DInner will be up shortly, as well as some medication. I will also have a doctor call. Is that satisfactory?"

"Doctor?" Light asked in so soft a voice I almost couldn't hear him. "I don't need to see a doctor."

"Light, please don't fight me." I brushed his hair back again, but he recoiled from my touch and rolled over and away from me. I bit my lip at the movment. It hurt, deeply. "Everything will be alright."

No response.

"Watari, that will be fine, thank you."

I could hear the older man's footsteps as he left the room. Once Watari was gone, I set about finding Light's favorite movie and putting it on. I then took my normal spot on my side of the bed. It took a while, but eventually, Light snuggled up against my legs and I played with his hair as the film continued.

I didn't put much thought into it though. I was more worried about what had happened to Light to make him pull from reality so far that his eyes were empty and he had no voice? Was it just from the withdrawals? Had they been that horrible this time that he was hallucinating? Or was it something else? What else could it have been if it wasn't Ryuk? Or was I just too trusting of the shinigami?

Soon dinner arrived and getting Light to eat was another pain. He refused to move in anyway, shape or form until I physically moved him. He was so much weaker than I had ever felt him before. I had never seen him this broken.

And soon, a doctor did arrive, just as Watari said he would. I explained everything the very best that I could, as Light was no help. He refused to speak to the middle aged physician who had taken time to come here specifically. I'm sure Watari had offered a rather large sum of cash to get the doctor to come.

But even he didn't offer anything concrete and solid. He just said to make sure that Light got rest if I wasn't going to check him into a hospital, which would be the best option. But I couldn't afford to do that. Having this doctor here was risky enough as it was.

Just fluids and rest. That's all I could give Light. And he eventually stopped fighting me and drank the water each time I handed him a glass. And soon he did dose off, head in my lap, as the third movie droned on.

The light from the screen flickered over Light's pale face, making him look ghostly. I sighed as I watched the colors dance over his featured, my fingers playing with his hair.

"You'll get better. I promise," I whispered to him, before grabbing the remote and turning on the news to where a new Kira report was.

A/N Hey guys! Sorry if this chapter is a bit dull. Been having a bit of writers block and been suffering from really bad carpal tunnel which has been making it really hard to type. But I hope you enjoyed and had a wonderful Thanksgiving if you celebrate it!