It's a terrible feeling, when someone you love is in hospital, and you don't know if they'll be okay. You're worried, you're anxious, it's hard to sit still, and you can't stop wondering if they'll live, and even if they do live, will there be any permanent damage? Of course, this feeling is made much worse, if you're the one who put said loved one, in the hospital, in the first place.

"She'll be fine Dima," Benedikt said gently, looking sideways at Dimitri, who was sitting with his arms resting on his knees, staring at the stack of magazines on the table in front of them. The two of them were currently sitting in the waiting room for the neurology department of Baia's small hospital, waiting for any news on Rose. It was square room, with seats screwed into the walls, and a rectangular table in the middle of them. They were the only two there. Olena had gone to see if she could find out anything from a doctor friend of hers. In fact, she knew about half of the medical staff, and every dhampir, who worked in the hospital.

Dimitri didn't say anything. He didn't want any comfort from Benedikt. He didn't want any comfort at all. He would have prefered to have been chastised, to be told that it was his fault. Rose hadn't responded to the paramedics on the way to the hospital, she'd only mumbled unintelligibly, and tried to open her eyes. Once at the hospital, she'd been rushed to have a CAT scan, and Dimitri had given the doctors all the information he'd given his mother in the kitchen. That had been five hours ago. Now, all he could do was wait, and pray to a God he wasn't sure he believed in, that she would be okay.

"I'm worried as well," Benedikt had been trying, on and off, for the last five hours to draw Dimitri out, to console him, but he hadn't said a word in return. "I care a lot about her. She's a very special girl. She's always been a very special girl – "

"I don't want to be like you," Dimitri said suddenly.

"What?" Benedikt was startled by Dimitri actually saying something, rather than what he'd said.

"I said, that I don't want to be like you," Dimitri repeated, straightening up, and turnig in his seat to look at his father. "It was an accident, I know that, but, still, I can't help but draw some parallels here, and..." He trailed off, shaking his head and turing away. He wasn't even sure why he was revealing this, but he knew that he needed to say it out-loud. Though, he probably wouldn't be saying anything at all, if he didn't feel so vulnerable. "And what if I am? I've lost control before, mostly around Rose - "

"Dimitri stop," Benedikt said quickly. He didn't want his son have those thoughts. "Listen to me very carefully: You are not a bad man. I know you are not a bad man, and all those times you claimed that you've lost control around Rose, have you ever hurt her? Do you want to hurt her? Want to have control like that over her?"

"Well, no of course not," Dimitri said, sounding confused, and surprised. "What do you mean have control over her?"

Benedikt sighed. "I'm going to need you to listen to me, and not interrupt. I have to say this, if I'm going to make you understand," he added in response to Dimitri's questioning look. Dimitri thought about it for a moment, before agreeing.

"What I put your mother through, what cases like that are always about," he sighed again. "It's always about control," Benedikt said simply. "It's not because of a love of violence, or because of anger. It's because of a need to feel in control."

"To feel powerful," Dimitri clarified. He was slightly disgusted, but remembered his promise not to interrupt, and said no more. If he was going to finally know what happened to make the man he used to want to come and visit him, the man he used to race Karolina and Sonya out the door to, yelling 'Daddy!', to be replaced by that monster, he was going to listen.

Benedikt nodded. "I'm sorry if I'm generalising, but I think it's necessary in order to tell you the full story." He breathed deeply before continuing. "I first started to drink after my parents had been killed. There was a small group of strigoi, who raided their home in Moscow. I felt horrified. I was shocked and grieved that I had lost both of my parents at the same time, but I also felt that no where was safe. You probably don't remember them. You were only five at the time."

"Grandpa used to give me a toy car whenever we saw them," Dimitri said sadly. "I remember vaguely."

"Yes, he did," Benedikt said, with a small, sad smile. "You loved them. Anyway, I also felt like I couldn't control anything, that my life was spinning completely out of my control, and I am ashamed to say, that I took it out on your mother. I will always be amazed that she has forgiven me. I didn't think she could. Or that I deserved it."

Dimitri didn't say anything to that, even though he could empathise perfectly with what Benedikt was saying.

"But I've gotten my life back on track now," Benedikt continued, "I recognise my own fault in what happened. I am sorry, for everything that I put you all through."

Dimitri nodded, sitting back in his chair, thinking. He never thought that he'd hear all of this from his father. Never thought about him being just a man underneath it all. He also realised why his mother had given him a second chance. It seemed as though he really did love her. Ten years. They'd been together for ten years, before he'd started to drink. He was by no means ready to trust him yet, but it was a start.

"Let me tell you something else," Benedikt said, "No parent wants their children to turn out like them. They want them to turn out better. And you, my boy, have surpassed my wildest dreams." Dimitri looked around at him. "I am so, so proud of you."

Dimitri was speechless. He couldn't believe his ears. Proud of him? Rose had told him that, but it was different hearing it from the man himself. Just then, Olena walked back into the waiting room, with a doctor. Which was lucky, as Dimitri could only process so much at the same time. Rose's well being first, family drama later.

Both men stood at their entrance, striding forwards. They both towered over the two women.

"Is she okay?" Dimitri asked, before either of them could speak. "Is she going to be alright?"

"She has a mild concussion," the doctor explained. She was a dhampir woman the same age as Olena and Benedikt. She'd actually gone to school with them. "And there won't be any lasting brain damage, but I'm keeping her here for observation until lunch time tomorrow, just to be on the safe side. You can stay with her tonight if you like. You know the drill with concussions, you can't go to sleep for a while." She'd directed that last part at Dimitri. He said he would stay with her, and she told him what room she was in.

"Oh, and Dimitri," she said, cathcing his arm. "It's very good to see you again." She smiled at him. She'd known him since he was a baby after all.

"You as well." Dimitri hurried off leaving his parents with the doctor.

"Thank you, Nadya," Olena said earnestly, once Dimitri had left. She was also refering to the fact that Nadya had lied to the police, saying Rose had slipped on the wet floor, not implicating Dimitri.

"He was very worried," Benedikt told them. "I think he was afraid he'd given her permanent brain damage."

"Well it was my pleasure to help out some old friends," Nadya replied. "Although," she added with a wry smile, "Tell that son of yours, that he really shouldn't be flailing his arms about."

They chuckled and thanked her, asking her to tell Dimitri that they were leaving. Nadya agreed, and accepted their invitation to the New Year's party tomorrow evening.

"I'm so glad that she's okay," Benedikt was saying as they left the hospital. "I was afraid for a while there."

"I know what you mean," Olena told him, "I was scared too. I didn't want to say anything in front of Dimitri of course. What where you two talking about when Nadya and I came back?"

Benedikt smiled. "Let's just say, I think we're making progress."

Naturally this delighted Olena. Of course, they were making progress. Dimitri may not yet trust his father, but he was going to give him the chance to earn it. That's all that Benedikt wanted, really. The chance to be a family again. To be a father to his children. Only this time, he vowed that he was not going to make a mess of things.