Chapter Nine.

Wow, thank you so much for all the reviews on the last chapter! I had an exam earlier, and then seeing all those emails when I got to my laptop afterwards really brightened up my day.

As thanks, here's an early update :)

Tasha hater – Hehe, I'm glad you liked it! :D

ClauILoveDimitriBelikov – thanks sweetie, and no worries. You'll hear a little of Rose's thoughts in this chapter.

Let's see if Dimitri lets Rose in even more…

"Dimitri?" Rose's voice was soft, tentative as she entered the kitchen, where I was taking out my frustration on the washing up.

"Yes, Rose?" My voice was tense, and she hesitated before moving to stand by my side.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you into revealing so much so fast."

I breathed in deeply and focused on scrubbing at a stubborn burn on the casserole dish. "It's not your fault. I know my limits. I shouldn't have listened to Ivan."

"And why the hell not?" Her voice was angry, and I glanced up I surprise. "Maybe it was the right thing for you to do. Have you told anyone else about what happened?"

"He made me go and see a therapist a few months after it happened."

"And how did that work out for you?"

I shrugged. "Not much really happened. We talked it all through, and I got fed up with wasting my money. There was no point in continuing with it - after a year of sessions, they came to the same conclusions that I had after two weeks."

"Have you talked to anyone else?"

"I talk to Ivan about it."

"How often?" Her eyes were challenging and my resolve crumbled a little.

"In the year or so after it happened, a lot. But then," I shrugged. "I felt like it wasn't doing me any good. It just kept bringing up bad feelings and memories that I wanted to forget."

"Ivan was right with what he said to me the other day."

That caught my attention. "What did he say?"

"Amongst other things, that you're an idiot. Talking to people other than your best friend will help you, Dimitri. That's why you had a big freak out earlier, because it was the first time all of your defences were down and you had nothing to hide behind. You were vulnerable and open, like you were with both of your exes," I flinched, and her eyes grew even angrier. "That's what I'm talking about! You can't even bear to hear their goddamned names. If you'd faced up to your feelings ten years ago you wouldn't be reacting this way now!"

Rose finished her little tirade as I stared at her wide eyed, and then her expression softened. "We're both very similar. "I'm defensive because I don't want people to get too close. I don't want to be seen as vulnerable. You, you're closed off because you are vulnerable and you don't want to be hurt again."

My hands trembled, and I shoved them back into the sink, covering them with hot, soapy water as my mind fought to deal with Rose's words.

"Ivan put you up to this, didn't he?" She didn't respond, and that answered my question. I laughed bitterly. "So much for friendship. He still thinks that I need to be spoon fed and tiptoed around like I'm going to jump off of a cliff."

"That's not true! He's worried and he cares about you. He's your best friend-"

"Why are you here, Rose? Why invite me to dinner? Ivan knows he can ask me anything; and you… why lure me in under false pretences?"

"Because maybe Ivan's at a dead end and he felt that you needed to get this off of your chest! Apparently, I'm the first woman, barring those in your family, who you've spoken to about something other than work!"

My head spun and I gritted my teeth. That was a low blow. "This was a mistake. Even agreeing to help you was a mistake." I felt like I couldn't breathe in deeply enough, and something in my chest twisted at the hurt across Rose's features. "Get out."

*hides* Don't come after me with pitchforks and burning torches, please? I promise things are going to get better. You have to hit rock bottom to go up, don't you?