Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, but I do own my OCs and the plot of this story.

ENTRY FIVE - SHIINA

So now I feel even more uneasy about this whole thing. I mean, I felt uneasy about it when everything was happening in the beginning, too, but things have gotten worse. We ended up finding something haunting during our travels, something that shouldn't have been found at all. We found a piece of another entry that Jessi seemed to have written in desperation. Just like the others we found back in Konoha, the pages of this entry are burned. It was nailed to a tree along the path we were following, like the villain wanted us to find it. I don't know about the others, but I'm getting really nervous at this point, and if it wasn't Jessi's life at stake, I'd suggest we all drop out of this situation before it's too late. Call me a coward, but shit's starting to get really dangerous. What we're doing is already pretty dangerous, but now it's on a whole new level of danger. It seems like this sick fuck wants to lure us. Why? I don't know. I don't even know if he's after all of us or only one of us. Maybe he just wants to get us out of the way, or maybe he's looking to kidnap someone else for his fucked up amusement. Maybe he wants to lure us so he can finish us off by himself. I don't know.

The few days we've been wandering, I've been thinking hard about everything. Is Deidara the one behind this? Do I doubt his strength and his desires? Do I doubt how sick he truly is? What about Sasori? Am I correct to say that it is the puppet master that has caused all of this chaos? It can't be Deidara, can it? I mean, he's not one to use chakra strings, and Jessi referred to a puppeteer in her writings. It has to be Sasori. But is Deidara taking part in these sick events? I don't doubt that he is; I know how sex-crazed and deranged he is.

Anyways, this is what the piece of the note said:

-I didn't want to be a 'fuck toy' or a 'doll' or anything to the sick puppeteer; all I wanted to be was a regular person with weird friends and an amazing family... but I could have that no more. I lowered my head a little so that my eyes had a better view of my body. My skirt was still rolled down as far as it could go, which was very surprising. I'd expected it to constantly rise up and be utterly uncomfortable. I noticed that my top had slid down ever so slightly, revealing a bit of my-

-I didn't want to break another silly rule, so I lowered my hands. I didn't like being even a little exposed to either of the men in the room-

There has to be someone else involved in this mess; she wrote that there was another man with her in the snippet. My only guess could be Sasori's partner and my former... friend... Deidara.

I gave my careful analysis to JayJay when we discovered the charred slip of paper, and he appeared to agree with me, but was skeptical. He inquired that the notes may all be fakes planted by the enemy (or enemies) in order to lure us to a horrible demise. For all we know, Jessi could be dead at this point, and they probably want us in the same boat. I don't know what to believe, but I do know what to hope for. I don't want to think that Jessi's dead, and I certainly don't want to think that we're running right into our graves... but JayJay's right; we don't know what to expect in the least, and we should prepare ourselves for any possible outcome.

We're only a few more days away from Amegakure, and no one wants to turn back. Everyone wants to finish the mission the proper way, with courage and trust in each other. It looks like we're all in this mess 'til the end. How absolutely terrifying.

ENTRY TEN

I woke up in the stereotypical way that girls do when they get kidnapped: wondering what happened and trying to recall the moments before I conked out. I faintly recalled seeing something orange before my eyes closed, but I wasn't sure; all I really remembered was falling to the floor in the long hallway. I noted, upon that thought, that someone had taken the time to place me onto my bed, and noted, with misfortune, that it had probably been Sasori. I remembered that I'd had clothes on before I plummeted to my knees, but noted also that my clothes were missing upon my awakening. I sighed in exasperation; it had definitely been Sasori that had placed me on the bed. I jerked my body back and forth to test my strength and mobility. I was happy to see that I was able to move, meaning I hadn't been poisoned or injured (save a few bruises on my arms and legs, probably due to the collapse). The room wasn't as dark as I'd expected it to be, which was very unusual. There were two candles on either side of my bed, giving me a view of something other than vast darkness. I took the opportunity to take it my surroundings, my eyes darting back and forth around the room. I only got to look around for a few short seconds before my eyes fixated on the cause of all my problems, sitting right in the open. This being a tremendous shock to me, I blinked hard a few times to be sure that I was seeing correctly. The devious redhead sat on a small couch diagonal to my bed, one leg over his other, watching me with evident boredom.

My eyes went wide when I realized that I wasn't going crazy, that I actually saw him there. He'd appeared in a dramatic way before me so many times in the past; I suppose I'd expected him to make a more... creepy entrance upon my awakening. His eyes bore into my own lazily, and for those long moments I disregarded his silly rule about eye contact. His Akatsuki cloak was done-up all the way, covering most of his body and everything under his nose. His messy red hair looked no different from the various other times I'd seen it but I, for whatever reason, found it absolutely gorgeous at that moment in time. Look at me, complimenting the foe - how pathetic can I get? I hated admitting that he was attractive. Being the enemy, I was supposed to dehumanize him in order to feel nothing for him. It puzzled me that I was allowing myself to lust for his appearence at some instances, but I dismissed it as me crossing the line of sanity. I knew very well that I was close to going completely off my rocker, and I didn't feel too concerned. You may find that difficult to believe, but it's true. When you're on the verge of insanity, nothing makes sense and you just stop caring about things that were once important to you. Sure, I was able to care again during some scenarios, but that was only because the scenarios were dreadfully severe. You must remember: I was not lifeless at this point in time, and I was still fighting back against brutal lunacy.

I watched him rise from his sitting position and take a few long strides towards me. Time felt as though it were speeding up, as he reached the side of my bed in mere seconds. He stood to the left of me, and though I didn't dare glance back at him, I could feel his harsh gaze burning into my skull. I expected the worst, as usual, for disobeying his rules. I expected a slap or rape or something that would make me beg for mercy. I tensed myself up, getting ready for whatever harm he was going to inflict upon me, his vulnerable, naughty little doll. I was scared, I admit it. Sasori scared me. It was his impulsive attitude and impatience that made goose bumps form on my milky skin, it was the way he stared at me and the way he had power over me. I gulped hard and tried to remain as still as possible. The air in the room was cold, but I didn't care to pull the sheets up to my chest. I just sat there. He just stood there.

I suddenly felt his hand against my neck. I'd prepared myself for the usual, but I hadn't prepared myself for a strangling. My shoulders moved upwards on reflex and I sucked in what I thought would be my final breath. His hand wrapped loosely around my throat, and I nearly choked on my own spit. I remember thinking that I was utterly done for, that I was (to put it simply) 'fucked'. I closed my eyes tight, not wanting to see his face when he rolled his body atop mine and robbed me of my air. His hand unexpectedly travelled up my neck and to my chin, twisting my head towards him. His fingers gripped my chin tightly, but I was grateful to have slight pain rather than great pain. I opened my eyes but remembered quickly to keep my gaze away from his face. My eyes darted to a section of his cloak and remained there.

"What a naughty doll you've been." He whispered in his usual deep tone.

I could tell he was aggravated and wondered why he hadn't hit me for my disobedience. I wondered if he had something worse in store for me. I felt my body quiver uncontrollably and willed it to stop; I didn't want him to know just how much he terrified me. I was pretty sure he already knew, but I didn't want to reinforce his dominance. He tilted my chin downwards, to where he hands were. I almost got the feeling that he was going to hit the pressure point on my neck and make me drift off into the unconscious once again. Unfortunately, he had something even more devilish in mind. With one foul swoop, he whipped the sheets off of the bed. At first, I assumed he wanted an eyeful of my body, but then I saw the horrors that waited. Only then, did I truly understand what he had in mind for me. I looked at my right hand, inspecting it at once to find that it was completely fine. My left hand, though... God, he was such a foul monster.

My left hand bore all four fingers, but not my thumb. He removed my thumb and sited a wooden replacement where the stump was. The room immediately got colder, and I couldn't help but shake as though I were about to explode. What a horrific sight, what horrific thoughts, what horrific intentions. My eyes went so wide that they felt as though they were about ready to pop out of their sockets. I moved my hand on reflex and watched with revulsion as the artificial thumb moved just like a normal thumb. I felt sick to my stomach, and I felt a steady ache throb throughout my hand. I tried to look away, but the puppet master wouldn't allow it; he was enjoying my anxiety attack. I felt him smirk at me.

"You fell and broke your thumb, my dear." He chuckled at the thought, as if it was a fond memory shared between us. "I didn't want to wait for it to heal and I didn't want to hear you complain about the pain or the incident, so I fixed it for you. You've taken a small step towards being perfect, Jessica."

I wanted to punch him in the face, but I couldn't even control my own body. I was so disgusted and appalled, so infuriated and irrational. All I wanted to do was escape or... or kill myself. Yes, the amputation, despite it only being my thumb, drove me to the point wherein I carefully considered killing myself. I was confused and beyond upset. Tears formed in my eyes and streamed down my reddened cheeks. I didn't attempt to hide them, as I couldn't. I wouldn't move my hand again. Besides, he saw all and knew all. The twisted puppeteer had marked me once again, this time in a way that I would never forget. I tried to form words, but only ended up making strange sounds. I sobbed hard as he finally released my chin. At that point, I didn't care what he did to me. I figured he'd done enough. I didn't consider the fact that he'd hit me for making too much noise or for making such a big scene. It was probably only by sheer luck that he didn't. I didn't understand his reasoning for cutting off my thumb. I didn't understand his motivation for hurting me in ways that scarred me. Sure, he was sadistic, and sure, he liked turning others into 'perfect puppets', but I couldn't comprehend the villain's actions. I hypothesized that having a broken body part hurt less than getting a body part amputated; I didn't understand his logic. He remained next to me, watching me, watching me until I couldn't cry any longer. He spoke loudly and triumphantly over my cries.

"I gave you various sedatives to keep you asleep while I operated and for a short time after the operation. The hand is one of the body parts that have various nerve endings."

I dismissed what he said and focused only on thoughts of ending my misery, of ending him. My hate for him grew enormously, just when I believed it couldn't grow any more. I wanted to make him suffer; I wanted to kill him as I killed myself. I wanted it all to end and I wanted him to end with me. I tried to get myself under control. I tried my best to stop sniffling and tearing. It seemed like hours went by as I did these small things to calm myself. I don't recall hearing Sasori at all when he spoke - if he even spoke - but he still stood by me the entire time, waiting impatiently. He gaze was still mocking, but he seemed to have stopped his verbal abuse. For as long as I'd known him, he had never been able to be patient, and he always made those that kept him waiting pay. When I was ready to confront my foe once more, I turned. I said nothing, but instead waited for him to say what he wanted to say - I knew he had more to unfold. He, too, remained silent for a long time, perhaps debating on what he could say that would hurt me the most. Contrary to what you might believe, I did not feel at peace during times where he did not speak. Instead of making me calm, it unnerved me. I often wondered what he was thinking about and why he wasn't speaking. I wanted to be at peace and embrace the silence, but that was something that wasn't possible. The silence was deadly, and we both knew it. He blew air out of his nose in a way that suggested he had thought of something mildly amusing.

"I wonder what your friends will think when they see you as you are now? What will they will think when I tell them of all the time I've dishonoured you, and of the few times you willingly gave yourself to me?"

I stiffened at him mentioning my friends, but remained as calm as I could on the outside. Inwardly, I was panicking. The thought of him knowing of my comrades scared me, but comforted me at the same time. Because of that statement, I knew for sure that there were people coming to save me, people who had figured out about my kidnapping. I hoped that they had read my first entry. It was embarrassing to imagine them reading about me getting raped countless times, but if they had read it... Well, that meant they acknowledged it wasn't my fault, that I wasn't at all a traitor. They wanted to save me, to find me, to take me back to my rightful home. At those thoughts, for the first time in a very long time, I wanted to grin. I felt hope swell up inside, something I hadn't felt in what seemed like years. I almost entirely forgot of my thumb and my misery - all I could think about was how my friends cared for my safety and well-being. I wanted to smile right in the redhead's face. I didn't of course, because I'm not as stupid as I may seem to be. I understood that if I showed positivity, he would reprimand me harshly; he desired only negativity. Instead, I pretended to be upset by his words. I adorned a frown instead of a smile. My body continued to shake instead of retain itself. I didn't show the happiness and hope I initially wanted to show, and he seemed more than satisfied with this.

He used one of his hands to shove me body back onto the pillows so he could take his chance to effortlessly climb on top of me. He slid my body down so that I was completely under him, gazing up at his playful expression. I looked into his eyes only because I could tell that he wanted me to. His face, so perfect and cruel, was just as flawless as the last time I'd seen him. His lazy eyes moved closer to mine, and I felt his tongue against my closed lips. He wanted to make my time with him as humiliating as he possibly could. I didn't struggle as I felt his hands hold my wrists above my head. I took it; I took all of his torture.

"You're leading your friends straight to their bloody graves." He smirked smugly against my lips. "The man of your group, along with the other members of your search party, will all die."

I won't lie; I did feel very cold and a fair amount of guilt upon hearing of my comrades' fate (according to Sasori, anyways), but I couldn't help but wonder who else was in the 'search party'. I knew that Tay, JayJay, and Shiina understood that they weren't powerful enough to face the Akatsuki on their own, so I knew they must have gathered others for support. However, I found it strange that Sasori would single out JayJay from the rest of my group. There was significance to it, but I'd heard enough. I didn't want him to so easily lower my hope or newfound positivity. I jerked my body a little under him, unconsciously revealing that he was beginning to get to me again. He only took this as an invitation to capture my lips with his, dominating my mouth. One of his hands trailed down from where it had been holding my wrists. It moved up and down my sides, taking in the small figure I had. When he released my lips, he led his hand to my breasts, tugging gently on my sensitive nipples.

"That girl in your group..."

This made my mind freeze with curiosity and fear. I wondered which girl he was referring to, but thought I knew which one at the back of my mind. He moved his head away from my face and flashed me a lazy grin. I did nothing but stare back at him, brows furrowed, eyes wide. I didn't want him to finish the sentence.

"...Deidara has insisted on taking care of her in his own ways."

I'd foreseen the outcome of Deidara taking care of Shiina already, but his words still wounded me. I didn't know what the blonde had in store for my friend, and I almost didn't want to know. Another matter was Sasori taking care of my 'search party', as he called it; just what was he going to do to them? I knew he would kill them, but I didn't think that was enough. I had a feeling that he wanted to inflict something worse upon them, something torturous. I had a feeling that lay at the back of my mind, a feeling that told me he was going to turn them into lifeless puppets... just like he would one day do to me.

I looked up at him with a face that portrayed conflict and confusion. He took this as a positive result of his words and said nothing more. He removed him hands from my breasts and pushed himself off of me. Eyes wide, I had to do a double-take to be sure I wasn't merely imagining him getting off of me. Fortunately, I wasn't. He stood and fixed his robe to his liking, making it look at perfect as he thought he was. My eyes were wide, but I stared only at his cloak as I lifted myself to sit upright on the bed. He hadn't raped me and he'd barely touched me, something foreign to my mind. In the past, I was sure that he'd have jumped at the chance to be inside me. I was still trembling as he strode casually towards the door, not bothering to take another glance at me. He reached for the doorknob and turned it, letting himself out. Closing the door behind him, he left me with only a few haunting words.

"I'll be back for you tonight, princess. That's when we will have our fun."

Then, the door closed and the candles were mysteriously put out, leaving me to bask in darkness once again. I felt the after-effects of his words chill my very bones. I sat in the same place for a long time, possibly for hours. I thought about him, and about Deidara, and particularly about Konoha. I thought about my friends and my family, about my best friend (Tay), and about my 'search party'. I wondered who was searching for me, and if the Hokage had allowed the search. I wondered if they even realized what they were getting themselves into. I'd expected myself to cry, but I didn't do anything of the sort. I wallowed in my own filth and took in the room's elderly air.

Finally, when I could take no more, I removed myself from the bed and did something that I hadn't done in several years: I fell to my knees and prayed.

Authoresses' Note

Well, here's another chapter done. This time I made sure to edit most of it, but I apologize for little errors here and there that I didn't manage to catch. I'm glad I finally had the time to update and take a miniscule break from school work.

Once again, thank you to all that review this story; you're thoughtful people that give me good feedback and motivation! To be honest, I don't know if I'd still be updating this fic without you guys' kind words :)

So review, if you please. I'll do my best to get the next chapter out sometime soon next month. To those of you reading this while the dreaded Hurricane Sandy is passing through, keep safe!