Hi everyone! I apologize for the long delay between chapters. I hope to be able to get them out quicker than this.
Thank you to my beta, Chicsarah, for making this readable.
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or these characters.
"Bells, where's the spray?" Dad asked, coming into the kitchen as I pushed the mop around on the linoleum.
"I set it on the table with a rag," I nodded to the kitchen table.
"Ah, thanks," Dad said, grabbing the bottle and leaving the room.
We were cleaning up the house, something that desperately needed to be done lately. With Dad putting in overtime as the holiday season picked up and me in school, we had neglected to keep our living space clean. We each did our own laundry during the week, but the house was long overdue for a scrub down.
Dad had managed to get today and tomorrow off for Thanksgiving, and we were out of school for the holiday. We decided today that we'd tackle the house so we could enjoy the rest of our time off this week.
We didn't have any big plans for Thanksgiving. I was a decent cook, but an entire holiday meal was not something I was ready to attempt, and seemed unnecessary for the two of us. Instead, we were going to the Lodge for their big turkey dinner that they did every year. Dad had made reservations for three—Edward was joining us.
Edward's family was having their own celebration for lunch on Thanksgiving, with his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins all coming in from around the state to eat. I was invited, but I'd opted not to go this year. It seemed kind of soon to meet all of the family, and I really did want to spend the day with my dad.
We were going to have a quiet day watching football and then go out for a good dinner that night.
As I finished mopping, I heard the vacuum turn on and saw an orange flash bolt through the house and towards the stairs. Pretzel was not a fan.
Dad and I finished the cleaning an hour later, and the house looked better than it had in months. I was proud of us. Neither of us wanted to cook, so we ordered a pizza and settled in for the night.
Later that night, I laid in bed on the phone with Edward.
"Are you excited for Friday?" He asked with a laugh.
"Actually, kind of," I said. "Even though it's crazy and the mass consumerism is kind of ridiculous after we all just gave thanks, I love the thrill of it. My mom and I used to go every year. It's going to be weird without her this year," I sighed.
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. Alice will keep us all busy, though. She has a game plan that includes about six different stores that open at various times somewhere in the early morning," he groaned.
"Is she buying all this stuff for herself?" I asked.
"Oh no, no way. She never shops much for herself, but she's the queen of Christmas presents. She has been planning gifts for everyone since last year. And she's been scouring the ads for weeks to plan. Some of them she is going to get tomorrow night at the places that open on Thanksgiving Day. It's all a bit ridiculous, but it's fun. I, uh, didn't get to go last year. So this year will be fun," he said.
"Yeah. Though I don't know how much help Angela, Eric, and Jess will be. Eric and Jess are going to be all over Sephora, and Angela will probably just want to sit at Starbucks and people watch," I said.
"That's fine," Edward chuckled. "Alice is only going to assign tasks to the ones she's done this with before. She can't leave any room for error," he said. "But at least we get to go have breakfast at Waffle House after. I've been missing those hash browns since football season ended."
"Pssh, I'm going to make sure I have leftovers to eat. When your mom found out that dressing is my favorite food in the entire world, she promised me a pan of hers. Don't think I won't have a baggy of it in my purse for the shopping trip," I laughed. Mrs. Cullen was apparently famous for her cornbread dressing. She made homemade bread, biscuits, and cornbread to mix into it, and it was seasoned with spices and drippings from the turkey. It sounded like perfection, but when she gave me the recipe I knew I wouldn't be making it anytime soon. So she promised to make me some extra. That woman was amazing. And not just for her culinary skills.
"My mom's dressing is honestly my favorite thing about her," Edward joked.
"Whatever, your mom is an angel on earth," I said. I recalled our conversation a few weeks prior, and the couple we've had since then. The secret visit to the shelter she made with me last week. The discussions she'd promised to have with Mr. Cullen. Nothing was set in stone yet, but things were looking promising.
"She is, indeed. Which is why Alice is making you and me stand in line for a new tablet for her for Christmas. At 5 am. In the cold," he said.
"Ugh," I groaned.
"Don't worry, love. You'll have a warm lap to sit on," he said, and I could almost hear his wink behind the phone.
"I wish I had my warm boyfriend here now to cuddle," I sighed.
"That would be nice. To be in your room with you, in your bed. Mmm, perfect," he said sleepily.
"I wish," I whispered softly.
"I just wish I could see your room," he replied quietly, sadly.
"Me too," I mumbled.
We were both silent for a few beats before almost simultaneously yawning.
"Tomorrow is a busy day for you. Why don't you get some rest?" I said to him.
Since tomorrow was Thursday, his physical therapy appointment had been moved to today. I knew he was tired from that, and he was already kind of emotionally wiped in preparation for tomorrow. He didn't seem to want to admit it, but he was nervous to see all of his family. Some of them he hadn't seen since before the accident, and he was braced for their discomfort around him. I just hoped no one made him feel less after seeing him in his wheelchair. He'd come so far these past few months, and even if he was just getting better about not expressing his lack of self-worth, I did think he was truly, mentally healing more. I didn't want anything to set him back.
"Okay, sweetheart. Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow evening," he said. We were both excited because like a few weeks ago, we were all sleeping over at the Cullen's so that we could get up and go shopping early the next day. I hoped that meant we'd get a bit of time to ourselves.
"Goodnight, Edward."
"Goodnight, Bella."
The next day, I was showered and dressed and ready to head to dinner. Edward was meeting us there, so I was just waiting on dad.
The lodge was nice, but not overly so. It was cold out, though, so I wore black fleece lined leggings and a burgundy long sleeved cotton dress. The ground was damp with the rain from the night before, so I put on some ankle high tan boots.
Dad came down the stairs, and I had to reign in my shock at his appearance. Usually on his off days, he work untucked polos or t-shirts with jeans. At most, I expected khakis and a belt for tonight. But I was not prepared for black dress slacks with a white button down and a tie.
"Dad, you look...nice," I finished lamely. It was just the lodge. I'd never seen him dress like this for just the lodge. Or anywhere for that matter.
"Thanks, kid. So do you," he said. He looked nervous, his eyes flitting around the room.
Just then, there was a knock at the door.
"Who's that?" I asked.
"I, uh, don't know. Why don't you answer it?" He prompted.
I guess he figured it was Edward or someone, because cop dad was usually more cautious about strangers at the door.
"Oooo-kay," I replied.
I walked to the door slowly, glancing back at my immobile father.
When I turned back and opened the door, I was wholly unprepared for who was waiting on the other side.
"Mom?" I all but screamed in her beautiful face, smiling ear to ear with a grinning Phil behind her.
"Happy Thanksgiving, baby girl!" She said excitedly, holding out her arms to me.
"Oh my gosh!" I said, lurching forward and wrapping my arms around her, taking in her smell, realizing just how much I'd missed her.
"I missed you," I whispered, tears leaking.
"I missed you, my darling," she whispered, her hand softly stroking my long hair.
"How did you...when did you...how?" I stammered as I let go to give her some room.
"It was all your dad. He suggested a visit. I knew he wanted to spend the holidays with you, and so did we," she said, motioning to Phil behind her. "So we decided we'd come visit. We are only here for tonight. Our flight leaves at 3 am tomorrow morning for Phoenix," she confirmed a little sadly. I looked at her, confused and she continued.
"We are flying back there to have Thanksgiving with Phil's family tomorrow before we go back to Jacksonville," she explained.
"But I get you for at least tonight," I said.
"You do, my love. You do."
"Well come in, come in," I said, ushering them through the doors.
We spent the hour before dinner talking. I showed her my room, and she smiled to herself as she took in the old house where she'd once lived, so many years ago. It hadn't changed much, probably more so in the few months I'd been there than any before.
She asked about Edward, and I told her he was meeting us for dinner. She seemed genuinely excited to meet him.
My dad and Phil talked in the kitchen. They'd always surprised us with their friendship as there were no ill feelings between the three of them. My parents fell out of love as quickly as they'd fallen into it, and other than the part about me going with her, I think my dad had mostly been relieved when she left. They'd remained civil for my sake and over the years had even become friends again, realizing that their chemistry as humans was always meant to be platonic. But both of them always assured me that they were beyond grateful for whatever brought them together romantically, however briefly, because it gave them me.
"Our reservation is at seven so we'd better get going," Dad said.
"You guys want to ride with us?" I asked my mom and Phil.
"Sure, works for me," Phil replied.
I opted to let Phil ride in the front of my dad's truck while my mom and I climbed into the back seat.
We talked the entire way to the restaurant, her cool hands holding mine and her chatter making my heart full. I wished they could stay longer, but I was so grateful for the time with her now.
When we pulled up the the lodge, my dad's nerves from earlier seemed to resurface. I'd thought maybe it was because of the surprise, or even just seeing my mom again, but he seemed unfazed by her.
We got out of the car and stood in front of the busy restaurant, looking around for Edward's silver Corolla.
"You guys can go on in. I'll wait for him out here," I said.
"I, uh, am waiting on someone, too," Dad said. I turned to him, my eyebrow raised.
"I didn't realize we had anyone else joining us," I said.
"I didn't want you to make a stink about it, but I thought it was probably time y'all met..." he said, before looking behind me. I turned to see who was walking up in the heals I could already hear clacking across the asphalt parking lot.
"Charlie," she said, stepping in front of him. He leaned in to kiss her cheek softly.
"Hi, hon," he told her.
"Bella, this is—"
"Sue? I mean, Mrs. Clearwater?" I corrected.
"Hi, Bella," she smiled warmly.
Dad looked confused between us.
"Dad, she's worked at the station with you since I was little. Of course I remember her," I said, rolling my eyes. Dad used to take me to the station with him often when he got called into work during my summer visits. Sue Clearwater was the receptionist there and had been for years. She used to sneak me candy from her desk when dad wasn't looking.
"Oh, right, yeah," Dad said.
"Sue!" Mom said excitedly behind me.
"Renee, so good to see you again! You look wonderful," Sue said honestly.
"You do, too. I had no idea this was a thing," mom said, eyes going between dad and Sue.
"Makes two of us," I mumbled. I wasn't mad at dad's choice. Just that I didn't know about it.
"Bells, I wanted to tell you. I did. But you've been caught up with your own love life and well, we work together. We weren't trying to make it that obvious," Dad explained.
"I get it. I'm happy for you both," I said truthfully.
"Speaking of your love life, where's that boyfriend of yours?" Mom asked. I saw the headlights of his car turning into the Lodge then.
"He's here," I smiled. "You guys go in. I'll wait on him," I said.
The four of them walked into the restaurant as I stood on the sidewalk, watching my breath in the cold, stuffing my hands in my coat pockets. Edward opened his door, folding out his chair and easing himself over into it.
He reached back into his car, grabbing something and then laying it across his lap.
He moved around to find the dip in the sidewalk so he could roll onto it and then came forward towards me. He looked perfect in khaki pants and a navy blue button down shirt, tucked in neatly. His hair was gelled, and I could smell his incredibly clean scent when he got close.
"Hey, beautiful," he said.
"Hey, yourself," I told him, leaning down to kiss him, breathing him in.
"Okay, before we go in, you should know that it's not just the three of us tonight," I started.
"I know," he smiled.
"You do?"
"Yep. Your dad let me in on the surprise a few days ago when I was over at your house. He said your mom and step-dad were flying in for dinner with us," he smiled.
"Ugh, you sneak," I grinned. "Well, dad brought his girlfriend, too," I said.
"I suspected he might," Edward nodded.
"You knew about that, too?!" I screeched.
"Not really but I suspected. Your dad kind of slipped up and mentioned making a reservation for six. When I asked him, he back pedaled. Then he took a phone call not long after and I heard him mention a woman's name," Edward shrugged.
"Well, aren't you just a regular Sherlock Holmes," I said.
"Oh, did you think all of these were for you?" He asked, nodding to his lap. He had three red roses, each separately wrapped in cellophane with a ribbon.
"Laying it on thick, huh?"
"First impressions are important," he said as we walked to the door. He reached for the handle and opened it so that could walk in ahead of him.
"Well, it's how you got me," I winked.
He chuckled behind me and followed me into the warm restaurant.
We found my parents with Phil and Sue, all standing near the hostess stand.
"Hey, do we have a table?" I asked, stepping in front of mom while Edward remained back behind her.
"Well they had a large booth available, but your father insisted we needed a table, so we are waiting," she sighed. "I don't know why a booth wouldn't work. It's packed. We are going to be waiting forever for a table," she said loudly.
"Mom, it's okay. It's fine," I urged, willing her not to make a scene. I knew why dad insisted we needed a table and chairs, not a booth. And Edward, who was behind her and heard the entire exchange, also knew. And now he had to meet her and make her realize why we weren't already seated.
"Mom, um, this is Edward. My boyfriend," I said, gesturing behind her. She turned to see him, her face morphing into unconcealed shock.
She looked back at me, then again down at Edward.
Edward cleared his throat, regaining the composure that had fallen a little at her critical and surprised look. He reached his hand up to her.
"Hello, Mrs. Dwyer. It's nice to meet you," he said politely. I could see Phil behind mom, looking nervous. My dad looked pissed off as he glared at mom. Sue looked uncomfortable.
"Hello," my mom said, holding her hand out to him and barely grasping it to shake it.
"Hey folks, sorry for your wait. Your table is ready," I heard, turning to see a young girl dressed in slacks and a button down, ready to lead us to the table.
We walked silently behind her, dad and Sue leading the way with mom and Phil behind them. Edward and I were last, neither of us speaking as he navigated his way through other tables to get to ours, which was, of course, in the middle of the restaurant.
I reached for a chair at the end of the table, pulling it out of the way for Edward to wheel his chair up. The hostess, bless her, came and took it from me to move it from the table.
I sat beside Edward, my dad beside me. That put Sue across from him, with Phil beside her and my mom at the end, across from Edward. Perfect.
The waitress came up then, taking our drink orders and letting us know that tonight, there were no menus and everyone got the standard plate of Thanksgiving food.
"Sorry you have to eat this twice," I mumbled to Edward. He grinned and shrugged.
"Thanksgiving's my favorite. Truly, I don't mind. But, just don't leave me if I get a little thick around the middle," he said.
"I'm not going anywhere," I told him back, and for a few beats we stopped, staring into each other's eyes.
"So, Edward," we heard my mom say, and we both looked up at her. "Tell me more about yourself," she said, reaching for the glass of water that had already been on the table when we sat down.
"Oh, um, well, I'm a senior at Forks High with Bella. My dad is a doctor and my mom is a pharmacist. They run a practice together here in town. I, uh, have a sister, Alice, who is two years younger than me. She plays volleyball for the school," he stammered, not really sure what details she wanted.
"What about you? Do you play any sports?" She asked.
"Mom!" I exclaimed.
"What, Bella? It's a fair question. There are sports for handicapped people," she said.
"Oh, uh, not...anymore. I played football for Forks. Before. There aren't many paraplegic people in Forks, so no sports for...handicapped people," he finished.
"You played football before? So this is recent?" She asked, nodding up and down to indicate his wheelchair.
"Jesus, Renee," my dad said from my left, and I wanted to cry. I didn't know why she was being so rude. So insensitive.
"What, Charlie? I'm just trying to learn more about Bella's boyfriend. For all that she's told me about him, she seem to have left a few things out," my mom said, malice in her voice that was confusing and hurtful to hear. "You did to, for that matter," she said to dad.
"Well hell, Renee, it didn't really seem like something that needed to be said," my dad said angrily.
"Yes, it's recent," Edward chimed in. "I was playing in the first football game of the season last year when I got hit in the spine," he explained softly.
"So you'll be in that the rest of your life then?" She asked.
"Renee," Phil said, quietly begging her to stop this ridiculous line of questioning.
"Most likely. I'm still in physical therapy, but there's a strong chance I'll never use my legs again," Edward said firmly, quietly.
"Hmm," my mom said as the waitress returned with drinks and rolls.
The rest of the evening was quiet and tense. I could tell Edward was desperately uncomfortable. And everyone at the table could probably feel the heat radiating off of me. I was furious at my mom. She breezed into town long enough to upend the entire evening.
We ate in silence, my mom leaning into Phil to talk occasionally but not speaking to anyone else. Phil looked sad, for Edward or for me, I didn't know. My dad looked annoyed.
I pushed my food around, my appetite all but gone.
The one constant of the night, the only thing that kept me focused and kept the tears at bay, was the feel of Edward's hand in mine on my leg.
After dinner, Edward said his goodbyes and then went to his car to head home. His sister and all of our friends were in Port Angeles by now, waiting for stores to open throughout the night. I wasn't even sure if Edward's parents were home, or if they were shopping too. I was worried at the thought of him going home alone, but I knew I couldn't bail on the evening yet.
Before he left, he'd handed me all three of the flowers he brought.
"Can you give these to your mom and Mrs. Clearwater?" He asked sadly.
"Um, sure," I nodded. I could understand why he didn't really want to do it himself.
I gave Sue her rose, letting her know it was from Edward. She smiled and parted ways with my dad, leaving an evening I was sure she was happy to get away from.
And then my mom and I climbed into the back of dad's truck, the ride home vastly different from the ride there.
No one said a word as we rode down the dark, wet streets. The roads weren't busy, most people either at their own homes or crowded into shopping malls by now.
When my dad pulled into the driveway, we all silently got out and walked to the porch.
My mom stopped short, glancing to her right and noticing the ramp that was there, a detail she'd apparently missed earlier in the evening.
With a hardened glare, she continued walking—stomping—up the steps and into the house.
The three of them went into the kitchen, and I stood deciding. I knew I needed to be present for the little bit of time left that mom and Phil would be here, but she'd made it increasingly more difficult to want to be around her. I was pissed at her. Pissed that she'd ruined the evening, the holiday. Pissed that she'd been so unbelievably cruel to Edward for no apparent reason. Pissed that I hadn't stood up to her.
When no one said anything, I huffed and turned to walk up the stairs.
"Bella, stay here," mom called.
I ignored her, fueled by the tone in her command, and kept walking upstairs.
I made a point of slamming my door, turning the lock dramatically. I knew I wasn't being mature, but I didn't have it in me to care.
To keep myself from falling on the bed in a crying heap, I collected my clothes to pack. Pajamas for the night, clean undergarments, and an outfit for the next morning. I slipped my brush and a small bag of makeup in, too.
I sat on my bed, staring at my phone as I unlocked and locked the screen over and over.
I groaned when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I wasn't ready to face her.
"Bells, it's me. I know you're angry, baby, but you to come down and talk to her," he urged.
I got up and opened the door, creaking it open and looking up.
"Why does she hate him, daddy?" I whispered sadly.
"I don't think she hates him, Bells. She just loves you. She's scared for you. She doesn't want things to happen like...last time," he said.
"That's bull. She's not worried about Edward doing what Jacob did. She's just prejudiced against him because of his handicap," I said.
"I don't think it's that. I don't think she's prejudiced against him. I think she's just worried about him...for you," dad said.
"Why? Because he's different? Does she think he's not good enough? Not capable of everything anyone else is? Because he is. He's smart and driven and he will be just as successful, if not more so, than most of our graduating class!" I said.
"I know, Bells. I know. You don't have to justify him to me. I know he's a good kid and I see a lot of future in him. But your mom—she sees this town. She sees him never leaving it, and as a result, you never leaving it. She doesn't want you stuck here taking care of someone else and selling yourself short," he explained.
"That's...ridiculous. Edward already has college plans. He's not staying here. Neither of us are. We have career goals and dreams for the future," I said.
"Why don't you come downstairs and explain that to her? Let's just talk. She and Phil have to leave for Seattle soon to catch their flight. Let's not leave things this way?" He pleaded.
I sighed, turning to grab my bag and phone before walking out of the bedroom door.
I followed dad downstairs and into the kitchen where mom and Phil were sitting at the table sipping coffee.
"Bella," mom said as she looked at me and took in the bag I was holding.
"Mom," I said curtly back.
"Where are you going?" She asked.
"I'm staying the night with some friends. We're going shopping early on the morning," I replied.
"Oh. Any friends you've told me about?" She asked.
"Just Alice, and Rose. Jessica and Angela, too," I said.
"Alice. Edward's sister?" She asked, standing up, growing louder.
"Yes," I said through gritted teeth. Here we go.
"Charlie, you're letting her spend the night at her boyfriend's house?" She screeched, throwing her hands in the air. Phil sat behind her, looking concerned but staying silent.
"Yes, with her boyfriend's sister and several other female friends," Charlie defended.
"Unbelievable. Any other boys going to be there?" She asked.
"Yes. Three of our friends, who will be sleeping in different rooms as the girls," I explained, not that I thought it would help.
"This is preposterous! Are these parents even home? Or do they just leave you kids to do whatever the hell you want with each other? She's going to end up pregnant before she even graduates," my mom yelled, pointing at me but glaring at my dad.
"Come off it, Renee. She's a good kid. I trust her. I trust'em all. Besides, one of the boys in the group is, I'm pretty sure, more attracted to Edward than Bella," Charlie said.
"I can't believe I let you come live here. Your dad clearly doesn't know how to parent. Leaving you to have all kinds of sex and get in trouble. Letting you go to this house with these parents who apparently don't care what their kids do!" My mom said, pacing the floor.
"Okay, first of all?" I started. "Dad is the best man in the entire world. He is an amazing parent, and don't you dare accuse him of anything otherwise. Second of all, Edward and I haven't even had sex! But you know who I did have sex with? Jacob, the boy you just loved and thought could do no wrong. And you know where? IN YOUR HOUSE. All those times you left me alone to 'have all kinds of sex and get in trouble!'" I yelled, my eyes boring into my mom's with fury. I could feel angry, hot tears in my eyes.
Mom gasped, though nothing I'd just said to her was a secret. She'd been in my room with me night after night as I cried myself to sleep after Jacob cheated on me. I'd confided everything in her.
"Bella," dad said, a pained expression on his face. I knew it was killing him to hear me say the things he'd tried so hard not to know about me.
"I'm sorry," I whispered to him, before turning back to my mom.
"Edward got hurt last year. It left him paralyzed. But it didn't leave him unfeeling, and the way you acted tonight was disgusting and hurtful. He is intelligent, kind, and driven. He's already been accepted to three different colleges, and he's applied for more. He's not going to be held back by his wheelchair. If anything, it's motivated him to work harder in life because he no longer has the football star future he thought he would. HE motivates ME to work harder. I'm a better person because of him. He will never let his circumstances hold him back. And he would never, ever let anyone feel sorry for him because of it. But you? I feel sorry for you. You will miss out on knowing so many amazing people if you spend your life judging them as quickly and harshly as you did tonight," I finished, my heart beating fast and hard in my chest.
"I'm done here," I declared after no one said anything.
"Phil, thank you for coming. I love you. Mom, have a nice trip home. Despite it all, I love you. But until you can pull your head out of your ass, don't bother calling me," I said.
I bent to grab my bag and purse, fishing out my keys and realizing the two flowers from Edward were still in there.
"Oh, this is for you. From Edward," I said, tossing the rose onto the kitchen table before turning away.
"Dad, I'm sorry. This was a nice surprise. Please tell Sue I'm sorry for how the night went, and maybe invite her over for dinner soon. I love you," I said, reaching to hug him.
"I love you, baby girl. Please be careful. Text me when you get there?" He whispered in my ear.
I leaned back and nodded, not looking behind me as I walked to the door and left.
I felt terrible for leaving my dad to pick up the mess I'd just made, but I couldn't stay in there any longer.
I got in my car and cranked it, driving away as quickly as possible.
But halfway to Edward's, I had to pull over and let the tears, the sadness and anger wash over me. The night had been a disaster, and I'd only made it worse. But I didn't regret what I said. It was true, and my mom needed to hear it.
I could only hope that one day we'd repair this.
I dabbed my eyes with my sleeve, knowing I was red-faced snotty mess but needing Edward.
I drove the rest of the way to his house. The porch light was on and a few cars were outside, but Emmett's Jeep and Eric's Forerunner were missing, so I assumed everyone was still out shopping.
I shut my car off and grabbed my stuff, reaching for my phone to text my dad as promised. I got out and went to the house, trudging up the front steps. Edward opened the door before I could even knock, looking up and taking in my face.
He'd changed into jeans and a t-shirt, looking just as breathtakingly handsome as he always did.
"Bella," he said, pained as he took in my tear stained face.
"Mom and I had a terrible fight," I whispered.
He didn't say anything, just turned and let me into the door. I walked in and went straight towards his bedroom, dropping my bag when I got in there. He came in behind me and shut the door.
Wordlessly, I kicked off my shoes and climbed on the bed, easing over so that he could join me.
He wheeled himself over and turned so that he could lift himself from the chair and onto the bed.
Once he was situated and comfortable, sitting up against the wall, he pulled me under his arm and tucked me against him, his hand stroking my hair softly as he kissed my head.
"I'm sorry," I said quietly. "I'm sorry for my mom, for her making you feel the way she did. She was so out of line," I said, turning to look up at him.
"She didn't make me feel anything that wasn't true," he shrugged.
"Edward, don't—"
"I'm not putting myself down. I'm being truthful. But Bella?"
"Hmm?"
"Why didn't you tell your mom that I was in a wheelchair?" He asked. That stopped me in my tracks. I leaned away, looking up and into his eyes that were swimming with hurt.
"Edward, I...I guess I didn't feel like it was necessary," I started.
"It kind of was, though. It's something that's a part of me. It's kind of what identifies me," he said.
"Your wheelchair is not what identifies you," I said firmly.
"I don't mean that I'm just my wheelchair. But it's a big, huge part of me. It defines everything about my life. And it would have been nice not to see the complete surprise and shock on her face tonight. Perhaps things would have gone differently if she hadn't been caught off guard," he shrugged.
"Her surprise still doesn't justify her behavior," I said.
"No, it doesn't. But her surprise is justified. She had no idea that your boyfriend wasn't normal. Not in the traditional sense. And to be honest, I can see where her worries are coming from. She doesn't think I'll ever be enough to care for you. To be who you need. She's afraid I'll hold you back, trap you into being my caretaker."
"I don't give a damn what she thinks. I know you. You, the smart, driven man who is going to go to college and get a great job and have an amazingly successful future. Your wheelchair won't change that," I told him.
"Bella, I know my drawbacks. But I also know what I'm capable of, and how much stronger I've become since...since I met you," he said, and it was one of the first moments I'd ever heard him give himself credit for anything. He didn't put himself down or belittle himself. To think, I'd been worried about his own family making him feel bad today, when it was mine that I should have been worried about. My family. And myself.
"You're amazing, you know that?" I whispered, pushing myself up so that I could meet his mouth with my own. I could feel his hesitation, so I pulled away again.
"Edward, I'm sorry I didn't tell her. Maybe on some level I was nervous to. She'd had Jacob on a pedestal the entire time we were together. He was smart, funny, handsome, played baseball. And he was from a big town and a big family. She knew he'd be going further than Jacksonville in life, and I guess she hoped I'd get the same opportunities if I stayed with him. He, of course, shattered that image after what happened. But as far as first boyfriends go, for a while at least, he was who she'd have picked for me," I finished.
"But," I continued before he could speak. "That's not what made me nervous to tell her about your chair. I'd told her so much else about you, and she gushed about how wonderful you sounded. Because I told her all of the things that made you wonderful. I just didn't tell her this because I knew, if she knew, she'd find a way to make it about her. About how she spent her teenage years here when her parents moved them here. About how she met my dad, who stopped his football career short when he got a torn rotator cuff. He never had the drive to rehabilitate and learn to play again. He went to two years of college before going to the police academy and joining the force. He never wanted more than that, but she did. And she wants more than that for me, I guess," I said.
"But you didn't think you could have more with me?" He asked softly.
"Of course I did. I do. I guess I just didn't want her to make that judgement before she met you, you know? I wanted her to see for herself that you are so much more than the small town boy who got hurt on the football field," I said.
"I think I can understand that," he nodded.
"I am sorry, Edward."
"I believe you. And I forgive you," he told me, leaning down kiss me
His tongue glided between my lips, finding mine and setting that familiar fire alight in my belly.
I reached my left hand up to his chest, feeling his strong muscles beneath his shirt.
I wanted to get closer, to deepen the kiss further, so I lifted up to straddle him.
I could feel him growing beneath me, and I pulled my dress up my legs to give me better access to him.
We were rubbing against each other and moving to the rhythm of our heavy breaths as we continued to kiss.
I slid my hands down his chest and reached under myself to get to the button of his jeans, working to open it.
I had the zipper down, easing my hand into his pants as I leaned in to whisper, "I'm ready" to him.
"Fuck," Edward moaned as my hand captured his erection.
"Please," I moaned. "Please, Edward," I urged.
"Bella, baby," he said, before grabbing my hand and stopping my movements on him.
"What is it?" I asked, leaning away breathlessly.
"Not...yet," he said, his face pained as he said it.
"What? Why not?" I asked, irrational anger bubbling to the surface.
"Because, it's not the right time," he said, and again he looked like he wanted to be doing anything but stopping what was about to happen.
"Why the fuck not?" I yelled, standing up and moving off the bed, away from him.
"Bella, please, baby," he urged, using his arms to help swing his legs over the side of the bed. For the first time, he looked like he was genuinely being held back by his disability. He looked like he wanted to jump off of the bed and come to me but couldn't.
"You don't want me? Is that it?" I asked, tears springing to my eyes as I felt an ache in my heart.
"Of course I do!" He said loudly. He moved to get in his chair and rolled himself over to me. He reached for my hand, and I let him take it but kept my other arm crossed over my chest.
"Bella, I want you more than you can possibly know. It's damn near all I think about. But tonight? After you had a fight with your mom? You're upset, and I don't want our first time together to be tarnished by anything. And tonight it would be. You'd be upset and preoccupied the entire time. When we make love, I want all of you. I want it to be perfect. I don't want it to happen until after I've told you that I lo—" he stopped short, his eyes going wide.
"After you've told me that you what?" I whispered, and I knew the hand he was holding was shaking.
He pulled me closer, guiding me to sit sideways on his lap. His hand reached up to brush my hair off of my forehead as he leaned in to place a soft kiss there.
"After I've told you that I...that I love you," he said, a soft whisper that I wish I could have trapped in a box and kept forever.
"You do?" I asked carefully.
"So so much," he confirmed.
"Say it again."
"I love you, Bella," he answered.
"Edward," I whispered reverently at this boy who so brilliantly turned this evening around. "I love you, too."
Happy Thanksgiving to those who celebrate! May your day be filled with food and naps, and free from family drama and political arguments.
This declaration of love between our Bella and Edward is dedicated to my beta bestie, who just celebrated 10 years of marriage with her husband. Happy anniversary, guys!