Chapter 10
Maddy stayed at Ashlynn's house for dinner, grateful for the hospitality from her and her husband. Maddy wasn't very good company though. The only thing she could think about through all of dinner was, I broke up with Mark… because he kissed someone else. It became dark out soon after dinner and Ashlynn's husband offered to walk her home. She declined, saying she'd rather walk herself. Taking the long route, she moseyed home, thinking about everything that had happened and wondering how she was going to survive without Mark. She was having his baby and she needed him. She got to her house sooner than expected.
Entering the door, she found her mother and father finishing dishes at the counter. Zoe was dutifully putting away the dishes her father was handing her and her brother was slouched deep in the couch, doing something on his tablet.
"Hi Maddy!" Her mother said brightly. "I heard Mark is back and all is well?"
Maddy turned her face away, under the cover of dropping off her bag in her room. "Yeah," she began, sounding slightly strangled. "He's back."
"That's great!" Her mother exclaimed. "Isn't it?"
Maddy turned to her, pasting a fake smile on her face. "Yep."
Her mother's eyes seemed to take in her appearance: her fake smile, her slightly red eyes, her late homecoming. But, for some reason, she seemed to make the decision that Maddy was just tired, a common ailment for someone in her condition. Her eyes flitted to Josh, who was still absorbed in whatever he was doing on his tablet.
"Josh," her mother called. He seemed to come out of a trance when he heard his name, jumping slightly.
"Wa- what?" he asked as he put down his tablet.
"Maddys home," she said pointedly and Josh noticed his sister for the first time. Maddy watched him with curiosity as he sighed lightly and seemed to be mustering up courage to do something. She wondered if he was going to finally apologize. He rose slowly from the couch and walked over to Maddy, his eyes flitting back and forth from hers to the floor.
"So," he started awkwardly. "You wanna take a walk?"
Maddy gave him a half smile. "Okay."
They both slipped their shoes on and were out the door a moment later.
It was completely dark out, the velvety black sky twinkling with stars. They always took Maddy's breath away and tonight was no different. She could hear the night bugs razoring around them, the whole world seeming to hum with the buzz of life. She couldn't believe what they had been missing out on in 2149; the beauty and aliveness of it all. Despite her aching heart, she felt peace walking next to her brother and taking in the beauty of the night.
Josh was similarly enraptured. Although he would probably never admit it, he loved this place. It was beautiful and breathtaking. There were so many new things to experience and do that would have never been possible in 2149. He loved that he had a chance to make a new life for himself here, even if it meant losing people he loved. As he thought about Maddy's baby, he remembered the reason they were out walking in the first place. His pulse quickened as he grew nervous. They walked in silence until their house was out of sight, then Josh cleared his throat.
"So…" he began. "Maddy, I-" he paused and ruffled his hair. "I've rehearsed what to say so many times and now I can't remember a word of it." He looked at her and smiled, embarrassed. Maddy laughed lightly.
"Josh, I'm your sister. You don't have to rehearse what to say to me. You don't have to be embarrassed."
He sighed as they continued walking. "Yeah, but I do. Look, I've been stupid… really stupid. And yeah, yeah I know, what else is new right? It's just-
He stopped walking and turned Maddy towards him. "Maddy, I've been so angry. I've been angry at you, at Mark, even at mom and dad. I blamed our parents for not protecting you and for not seeming to care, I blamed Mark for the obvious and for not protecting you, and I blamed you for not being more careful, for being… stupid. For being like me."
Maddy's dark eyes watched his blue ones as they tried to explain his feelings to her.
"I…" He looked into her eyes and he took her hands. "I love you, Maddy. I'm sorry I ignored you for so long and I'm sorry I was so angry. I just don't want you to grow up too fast. And…" he sighed and smiled a little. "I'm not smooth like Dad; I didn't plan an outing or buy you a ring but… I just want you to know that I'm here for you, no matter what."
Maddy smiled at him, her eyes swimming with tears, and she pulled him into a hug. "Thanks Josh. I love you too."
OOOOO
That night she managed to avoid talking to her mother or father about what was bothering her. Josh could tell something was wrong, but probably didn't know how to ask about it, her mother was busy with Zoe, and she managed to avoid her father all together. Even saying goodnight was short and Maddy pushed off her mood with tiredness. Her mother laughed and said that would become a common feeling.
As Maddy lay in bed that night, she thought about Mark. She thought about what he'd done to her and how he'd acted. She still couldn't believe he'd made out with Laura. Mark, the ever dependable, made out with some else. The tears began to flow freely as she realized she couldn't trust him. It wasn't that she never could again, but it would take time for her to build it up. She thought Mark probably wanted her back but she supposed that remained to be seen. The thought of having a baby and raising his child without him was more than she could bare and a sob escaped her. Biting it back quickly, she looked over at Zoe to make sure she was still sleeping. She was.
Maddy wished she could be as carefree as Zoe seemed to be.
It was hard to believe that there was a life growing inside her. Her body seemed to be the same as always. Well, maybe not the same exactly, but similar. She felt a little different, and of course the first couple weeks she'd suffered from some morning sickness, but all in all she still felt like the old Maddy. She didn't understand how something so world changing could be going on inside her.
Shaking her head, she tried to push the thoughts of Mark away so she could sleep. Of course, this was met with little success and she tossed and turned for hours, sea-sawing between tears and anger. Finally, around 2 in the morning, she got up quietly, slipped on some clothes, and padded out of their room into the darkened house. She almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Josh sitting at the counter, drinking something hot. He almost spilled the drink down his bare torso when he spotted her. After a moment of muffled coughing, Josh caught his breath.
"You scared the living day lights out of me Maddy! What are you doing up?" His voice was almost a whisper, loud enough to hear but not loud enough to carry. It's the kind of voice people use almost instinctively in a dark and mostly sleeping house.
She shrugged, hoping he wouldn't notice her puffy eyes. "I couldn't sleep."
"Join the club," he said flatly.
She moved to make herself some hot chocolate (or what passed as hot chocolate here). Placing the water in the heater, she let it go, stopping it just before it dinged to avoid the noise. After she had finished, she pulled up a stool next to Josh.
"So, why can't you sleep?" she asked curiously, still using the confidential tone. Josh shrugged, seeming to avoid her gaze.
"I just can't sleep some times."
She frowned at him. "You used to sleep like a dinosaur. No one could wake you up in the morning and dad sometimes had to throw cold water on you to make you get up. So I don't buy it."
He sighed, idly swishing the leftover liquid in his cup. "Started after I found out about you." He looked at her with sad blue eyes. "But I don't want you to feel weird about it. It's not your fault I just… love you that's all."
She shoved him playfully with a shoulder. "You've been saying that a lot lately. Who are you and what have you done with my brother?"
He gave her a half smile and looked away, embarrassed. They sat in silence for a moment; the only sound was Maddy's soft slurping and the faint din of her father's snoring.
"So," Josh began, a little awkwardly, "What's up Maddy? I can see you've been crying and something wasn't right with you tonight."
Maddy looked down in her hot cocoa to watch the brown foam make patterns on the surface. Josh turned to watch her, waiting patiently.
"I broke up with Mark."
As she said it out loud for the second time, it felt more real to her somehow and she felt hot tears fill her eyes. Josh sat in stunned silence. After a moment, he cleared his throat.
"You broke up with him?" he asked slowly. She nodded. "Why?"
She took a moment to consider, watching the foam swirl, turning from one wide swirl to a curly swirl. So much for keeping secrets. She never could keep them long, especially not from her family. She turned to look at him with a firm gaze.
"If I tell you, you have to promise not to go crazy and not to go after Mark."
He raised both eyebrows at her facial expression and then nodded. "Fine."
"I mean it, Josh. No looking for loop holes in that promise either. Back-hand promise?"
Josh couldn't help but crack a small grin. "We haven't back-hand promised since we were ten."
She looked at him expectantly, her right hand raised with the palm facing him. He looked around to make sure no one was watching and then raised his hand similarly and linked them, the backs of their hands touching.
"I Joshua Caleb Shannon," he began, his voice portraying his discomfort at doing something so ridiculous, "do solemnly swear that I will not go crazy and will not go after Mark."
"And you won't tell anyone else, not even mom and dad, and no loopholes," Maddy added.
Josh rolled his eyes and then shrugged his shoulders in ascent, finishing the hand shake with the customary ending their five-year-old selves had come up with: each person had to try to grab the others ear. Josh almost managed to get Maddy's because she was unprepared but she quickly pulled away, almost falling off her stool. They chased each other as quietly as possible, giggles and snorts escaping here and there, garnering hotly uttered "Shh!"s. Eventually they ended up chasing each other around the island, ending up at a standoff, with Maddy closest to the door and Josh closest to the bathroom.
"Okay," Josh said, "first one to the plant in the corner wins."
Without thinking, they both took off. The distance being only about six feet, they both ended up in a pile on the floor, not having any idea who had gotten there first. Both of them were laughing hysterically, clamping their hands over their mouths, their bodies shaking as they tried not to make any noise. Maddy realized she had forgotten all about Mark for at least ten minutes. As she caught her breath, she realized she would now have to tell Josh the news. As they stopped laughing, they leaned against the wall and Josh turned to her.
"Well? Spill it."
She looked down at her hands, feeling the happiness from a moment ago draining away. "He made out with someone else."
Josh's face went from expectant to angry in less than a second. "I'm going to kill that son-of-a-"
"Ach!" She stopped him with a noise and a hand. "Lower your voice! Do you want to wake up mom and dad? And," she drew out the word, "you back-hand promised you wouldn't go looking for Mark, NO EXCUSES."
Josh pressed his lips into a thin line, trying to figure out what to do with his anger. "When I promised, I didn't know cheating was involved."
As far as yelling while whispering was concerned, Josh won the prize. Maddy sighed. "Anyway, that's why I broke up with him. And just so you know, he didn't have to tell me but he did so that should at least score him some points."
Josh's eyes flitted to her, the glare burning holes in her eye sockets. "You know," he began hotly, "I was just getting around to forgiving Mark and he goes and does this!"
"He's not entirely to blame."
Josh gave her a disbelieving expression which she chose to ignore, and continued, "This girl from another unit is basically throwing herself at him. If he really wants to fix this, he'll go to Wash and tell her what's been happening. So, we'll see."
They sat in silence for a long moment, Josh thinking about different ways to murder Mark and Maddy hoping Josh wasn't doing just that. Finally, Josh found his way out of those daydreams and sighed.
"Well, since I can't do anything to him, I'll just have to leave it up to Wash. But, I have confidence she'll do a fine job." He actually smiled at her as he said it and she felt relieved.
"I just hope he tells her," Maddy said after a moment.
"If he doesn't, then I have self-given permission to seek him out and avenge you."
Maddy giggled a little, despite herself. "He didn't kill me Josh!"
Josh shrugged, "All the same."
They had been so engrossed in their conversation they didn't hear their father exit his bedroom in search of the bathroom. When he spotted his two eldest children sitting on the floor in the corner, he frowned and made his way over, catching the very end of their conversation. He reached out and flipped a light on, garnering two loud exclamations from them as they tried to shield their eyes from the barrage of light.
"What's going on guys?" He asked curiously from his position beside the wall. Josh squinted at him from between his fingers.
"Neither of us could sleep so we had a snack and talked for a while."
Jim raised an eyebrow. "U-huh. Well maybe…"
He trailed off as Elizabeth emerged from her room, wrapping a robe around herself and squinting at her half-dressed family. They had stopped whispering and hadn't realized it, using regular volume in their voices.
"What is going on?" She asked, surprised but not really sounding angry. Jim shot her one of his irresistible smiles.
"Oh, nothing honey. We're just having a little party, without you, in the middle of the night. Care to join?"
She rolled her eyes at him and looked at her children, who were still seated on the floor. "Everything all right you two?"
They both nodded, a little embarrassed. She gave Jim a I-can't-believe-this-is-my-family look and then said, "I don't think this has ever happened in this family before."
"What," Jim asked, "being up in the wee hours of the morning?"
"Yes! What's gotten into us?" She asked, disbelieving. Both Jim and Josh pointed at Maddy.
"It's her fault," Josh said.
"Agreed," her father seconded. Maddy managed to crack a smile. Elizabeth sighed, sitting down on a stool and look around at them.
"All right, since we're all up and this has never happened before, and hopefully will never happen again, who's hungry?"
They all looked at her like she was joking. When they realized she was serious, Josh exclaimed,
"Definitely I am!"
Maddy nodded vigorously. "I would like eggs dipped in hot chocolate." Josh gave her a disgusted face. Even her dad nodded, but then, he rarely passed up on food.
"Count me in," he said enthusiastically.
Liz just shook her head at her family and got off the stool, getting out things to make an early, very early, morning breakfast. Pretty soon they were clanking dishes, talking loudly, frying sausage, and laughing. Josh kept breaking into made up songs about eating breakfast in the wee hours of the morning and his father would chase him around with a spatula every time he did. It wasn't long before pancake batter entered the mix and there were splatters on everyone, Elisabeth included. Soon, Zoe woke up to all the commotion and came out, wanting to know if it was time to go to school. When she found out what was going on, she woke up quickly and joined in the fun. They eventually ended up with a feast of breakfast food, which they ate ravenously.
When they were finished, Zoe left the table and went to the couch, falling asleep quickly. Maddy smiled at her. Soon, the kitchen still in chaos, food still on the table, the last four Shannon's succumbed to the call of sleep and laid down on the living room floor, all promising to move to their rooms soon after. Jim curled himself around Elisabeth, Josh lay parallel to the couch, Maddy rested her head on Josh's stomach, and twined her feet through one of her mother's arms, a comforting hand on her calf. Then, finally, at five AM, the sun's light just appearing in the dark sky, Maddy fell asleep.