Screwed-Up Letters

by iliketurtles02

parody of The Screwtape Letters. Kyle, the advanced angel, has to give advice to Cartman, the angel in training, so that he can lead a human to a righteous life that will get him into heaven. The story is told through Kyle's letters. Warning that there might be kyman shipping teases.

10. letter 10: friendship

Dear Cartman,

So Stan has a friend? Good for him! I'm being serious, I'm like, really happy for him. Happy as a fiddle. Or however that goes.

Ok, actually I'm not that happy. Turns out that headache I wrote about in my last letter wasn't just from bad memories. I'm sick. The good news is, other than writing this letter, I've got nothing else I have to-

sorry, sorry. Ew. Be careful when you handle the paper. The wet spots are my snot. I sneezed. Sorry.

That's all. I have to go to bed.

Your friend with an even bigger headache,

Kyle