Usagi: Hello everyone. Here comes a rather short yet hopefully funny Heart Wars chapter…

It introduces Maleficent as the Rancor/monster in Leon's basement, and the Sarlacc as…the Sarlacc.

Zakura: You're just being lazy…

Usagi: Am not. Enjoy!

Chapter 2

Final Fantasy Finished

"Axel! There you are! I thought you were frozen!" Roxas said as he noticed his friend.

"Well I'm not anymore. My element is fire anyway so how long did they expect to keep me trapped… by the way what are you doing here?" Axel asked.

"Rescuing you of course" Namine said.

"Really? Cause to me it looks like you're about to get eaten by a giant dragon…" Axel said.

Well yes if you read the last chapter you would have noticed that our heroes had indeed got themselves in quite a pinch.

When we last saw Axel he was frozen in carbonite, which he obviously isn't anymore…

When we last time saw Tinkerbell and Tron they were thrown into Leon's basement for mentioning nobodies.

When we last saw Namine she was thrown in Leon's basement because Zack, Cloud and Tifa kept getting of topic…or something, I lost track there…

When we last saw Roxas, Demyx and the Riku Replica they were thrown into Leon's basement for not being cold and lonely.

We return to each and every one of them sitting in Leon's basement looking up at a huge dragon.

"Isn't that Malificent? What's she doing here?" RR asked.

"Eating us? RUN AWAY!" Demyx shouted.

"Sorry Dem, there's no place to run so I guess we have to fight her" Axel said. "And make one of the Final Fantasy characters cry".

"Why?" Roxas said.

"I saw Return of the Jedi, if we kill this thing, someone's bound to end up crying over it" Axel said. "Then we're gonna get thrown into a giant flower…"

"Okay stop spoiling and lets kill this thing" Roxas said.

"I have an idea, maybe we could trip her over if someone used their weapon to sweep her of her feet using the same kind of movement as one would use cleaning the floor" Namine said, then Roxas knocked her out.

"What did you do that for?" RR asked.

"None of your business. ATTACK!" Roxas yelled.

Suddenly however they could hear a horrible sound from above, then the hatch opened again and Aerith fell onto the monster's head, killing it.

"That was incredibly easy…" Axel said.

"Every now and then I don't know what to feel, you come in with me and try to save meeee" Aerith sang, quite horribly I might add.

"AARGH THE SOUND! KILL IT!" Axel said, and put Aerith on fire, killing her.

"Was that really necessary?" Tron asked.

"Yes. I've gone far too long without burning someone to death" Axel said and put Tron on fire, luckily Demyx was able to put him out rather quickly.

Then suddenly a door opened and Zack ran in, he took one look at the dragon and the still burning remains of Aerith and started crying.

"See? Told you so" Axel said.

"I don't think he was crying over the dragon though…" Roxas said.

"No, but he IS crying over the…thing that I killed, so it counts" Axel said, before a whole bunch of guards came in and carried them away.

--

"Now I'm REALLY pissed at you guys, how dare you kill one of my henchmen?" Leon asked when the party was once again sitting in front of him.

"Well you threw her into a pit with a dragon…" Roxas said.

"I hardly see how that's relevant…the dragon didn't kill her, Axel did, thus it's all his fault so I'm dooming you all to a thousand years of pain" Leon said. "Except Namine and the sidekicks."

"What did we do?" RR said. "In fact I didn't do anything at all. I just showed up her, I'm not even a nobody, I have a heart you know! And why does Namine and the sidekicks get to go free?"

"First of: You're a looney. Second: Namine and the sidekicks don't get to go free, I need new servants now that Aerith's dead so I'm making them slaves" Leon said. "I can do that because this is based on Tatooine".

"Why do you need all three of us?" Namine asked.

"Because Tinkerbell is too short to count as one, come on" Leon said.

--

"Tell me Roxas, does it look bad?" Axel asked.

"Take a look for yourself, you're not blind" Roxas said.

"If this was Star Wars I would have been…and I kind of wished I was" Axel replied, staring down at the spikes bellow them. "You'd think Usagi would have come up with something new instead of just using the same monster they did in Star Wars though…"

"There's nothing in Kingdom Hearts that eats you and makes you suffer for a thousand years, now keep going!" Donald said, he was standing just behind them poking them with a stick.

"Why don't YOU get going?" Axel asked, and picked up the duck by its arms throwing him into the plant thing.

"HAVE FUN SUFFERING FOR A THOUSAND YEARS DUCK-MAN!" Axel yelled, before throwing a fireball in with him, scorching the monster plant.

"Except now he won't be suffering for thousand years, he'll burn to death along with the plant which should take only a few minutes since we're in a dried out desert" RR said.

"Way to spoil the fun, Fake Riku…" Axel muttered.

Suddenly Tron, Tinkerbell and Namine can onto the scene as well.

"How did you guys get free from Leon?" Roxas asked.

"Tinkerbell went nuts, brought out a giant machine gun and killed everyone when Seifer called her a chicken-wuzz-pixie" Namine said.

"Okay then. Well now that that's over with let's get going to…wherever we're supposed to be going next" Roxas said.

--

Meanwhile on a gummi ship far far away.

"Finally! My plan is working perfectly!" Riku said.

"Perfectly? The nobodies just escaped certain death, and the pixie killed all of the Final Fantasy characters" Sora said.

"Whatever, at least then I won't have to keep my deal with Leon… also my plan is working perfectly because we've got a new death star!" Riku said.

"Why did you go through all that trouble? If you waited just a couple more days you could have wished for one for your birthday" Sam said.

"Did somebody say birthday?" a strange voice said. Suddenly a Mexican guy ran in from nowhere and started playing some happy music, before he got a bat-shaped keyblade through his throat and died.

"He said two more days, dumbass!" Riku said annoyed. "Those stupid Birthday-mariachis... Anyways…the moment our new Death Star becomes operational we can start Shoop Da Wooping worlds again!" he said and laughed evilly, Sora laughed too.

"How come you need another Death Star when you've got a shadow in your party that shoots two planet-crushing laser beams from his eyes already?" Max asked.

Sora and Riku quickly stopped laughing and stared at the rabbit.

"IMMAH FEELING FORGOTTEN!" the shadow heartless yelled.

Usagi: Short…Sorry… but it was all we had time for.

Zakura: or all you felt like writing at the moment…

Usagi: psht… well a lot of things still got to happen. The party escaped Twilight Town and killed of all the Final Fantasy characters in a rather silly manner, I made one of my favourite Final Fantasy characters cry before killing him, Riku got some plotting done and we just found out most of his plans are in fact rather pointless as long as that shadow is in his party.

Roxy-kun: (Grins)

Usagi: not you… Please review!