"Aw man, that was just a little too strange for me. I mean, when exactly was the last time you washed your hair?"
"Despite what you may think, I keep myself clean. How else do you think I keep myself from getting cavities even though I eat a large amount of sweet things?"
"Teeth and hair hygiene are two completely unrelated things, so that is not a real answer. So due to suspicion of doubt, I could very well assume that you don't wash your hair very often."
"Believe what you like, I can only assure you that my hair is as clean as any other average human."
"Well I think I've eaten enough ice cream, now what do we do? I mean, it's not like I can go back to sleep."
"Well, there are a few mysteries that surround you that I would very much like to know the answers to."
"Well that depends, I'll only answer a select few," I answered cryptically.
"I suppose I could agree to those conditions. Now as for my first question, what is my real name?"
"That doesn't sound like a question that really concerns me; I take it your trying to see how much I know? Very well, I know for a fact that your name is L Lawliet, it's a little strange if I must say so myself. I know your real name because the police division I work for was created by Watari, so of course we know your real name. Ask all you like, but I will not reveal anymore information about my police division." L looked a little puzzled about this.
"Well, I suppose I will have to ask him about that later. I take it that the first night you stayed here you went to see Watari? Don't bother answering that, my next question would is," he paused to think about it. "Do you know anything about the Kira investigation that you are not sharing?"
"I think I'll pass on that one, but I have my reasons. Just trust me, I am on your guys' side. Are you going to only be asking those kinds of questions? That's no fun! I wont answer any more questions unless they interest me." I stuck out my tongue to show my stubbornness. L rolled his eyes and shook his head.
"Fine, but don't think I'm getting any amusement out of this, the only way I will you ask personally questions is if you answer some un-related questions. Are those satisfactory terms?" I gave a great big toothy grin and accepted his offer.
"But wait, do I get to ask you questions?"
"No" he replied almost as soon as I asked.
"Not to sound like a little kid, but that is so unfair! If you are going to be prying into my personal life, AND seeing what I know, I think I should at least get something out of this," I whined childishly.
"Although it feels like I am the one getting the unfair deal, I suppose I could accept your offer. Now, do you know anything about the Kira case that you are not telling us about?"
"Hold on there Lawliet, before you ask such an unpersonal question, I believe that you have to ask something beforehand."
"Well, what am I supposed to ask you about?" He quizzed.
"I don't know, anything! Ask about my favorite things, or about my past or something like that. It's not a really hard thing to do, I guess you could say I'm making you practice your social skills!" The idea of me teaching this so-called 'genius' made me giggle slightly.
"Fine then, how are you so good at running?" he finally came up with after a few seconds.
"Oh, I used to be on my high school track team, and a few other sports. See, I was pretty tough for a girl, so I was good at all kinds of sports. I think I kind of hustled you when I challenged you to that race. To be honest, you were holding up fine anyways."
"I see, and as for the other question?"
"I do know something about the kira investigation, but I'm not sure as to whether I can share it with you just yet. It's not that I don't want to, it's just there are many complications that would arise if I had told you everything I knew about the Kira case."
"You're not being very helpful," he said while wagging his finger at me. "I want some real information next time."
"I'll see what I can do, like I said, there are some complications about me telling you everything. So as for my question, in the spirit of sports, what sports did you play?"
"I did not attend a proper high school, but I used to be pretty good at tennis. Now, do you know anything about Kira's-" L began, but I gave him a stern look to say, don't think I forgot about our deal. "Oh, yes. I have to ask you a personal question, right. What is your favorite food?"
"Good boy, as for my favorite food… Hmm I don't really have one, but I have a thing for spicy foods. It's kind of like what you have for sweet things, except I love eating buffalo wings and chili soup but not wasabi. I never liked that for some reason. Now you may proceed with the question asking."
"Do you know anything about Kira's killing methods?" I thought about it, I decided to give him a watered-down version.
"I know that Kira method of murder is a some-sort of supernatural device. I do not believe that he/she created the device, she/he was given the weapon by kind of god. As unbelievable as this sounds, it is the truth, yet I have no proof of any kind." I gave him a second to process this new information. "Now then, I can't ask you what your favorite food is, I don't think you're the artistic type, so asking your favorite color seems redundant. How about what kind of music you listen to? Let me guess first, I'd say your into all that classical stuff, all you geniuses are alike."
"I don't listen to much music, all I hear are mathematical patterns playing over and over. As for your question, the same thing. What kind of music do you listen to?"
"Not very original now are we? I think you should at least try playing an instrument, it's a very useful skill. No matter, I listen to all kinds of music; from classic rock like the Beatles and The Who, to modern day rap like," I almost named the 2021 band 'Blueprint.' "Like uh, Snoop Dogg." I blurted out the first thing that came to mind. L's face scrunched up,
"'Snoop Dogg?' Please tell me that the singer is of the canine species."
"There is nothing wrong with Snoop Dogg, he is a fine rapper. Now don't you have a question to ask?"t
"Well for once I can't seem to think of any other Kira-related questions."
"But we cant just end here, I'll be eternally bored. How about we keep playing your game, and I'll promise to answer more of your questions later when you think of them?" After some persuading, L agreed to this deal.
We talked for hours, at least until L decided he needed to go back upstairs and chain himself to Light again. I learned that he never had any pets, that he was an orphan, that his 'only' fear was losing, and more. In exchange, I told him about how I had many dogs while growing up, how I hated my parents for always pretending to be perfect, and about my many fears of bugs, stapling my hand, and my friends getting hurt.
Eventually, everyone else started waking up, one by one. To keep myself preoccupied, I made everyone breakfast, my style. I made macaroni and cheese with a side of peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. To each confused face, I explained how I was never fond of bland breakfast foods, so I always ate lunch foods for breakfast.
"So," I began when everybody was seated at the island. "What's the scoop? Catch me up on what's been going down. What's happening today?"
"Well," came Light's voice behind a sandwhich that seemed to be dripping jelly. "Aiber is pretending to be Eraldo Coil, who was hired to track down L for the Yotsuba Company."
"And I told them that Misa was taken in by L for questioning, under the suspicion that she was the second Kira," Aiber explained. "Basically, I am going to have them interview her for being the new spokesperson for the Company, and they'll ask her questions and eventually hire her. Then she can help us get information on them one by one until we find out which one is Kira."
"That sounds like a perfect plan!" I exclaimed this a little too happily. This is great, if Higuchi is there, then Rem is there. And if Misa comes and sees them, then Rem will definitely contact her. If I can make Misa get me to talk to Rem, then I can start saving L's life! But how do I get Misa to do this for me? I looked around at them and hatched a plan.
"Hey, I want to help! How about I pretend to be her new manager?"
"I believe I can allow that," L accepted. "Misa should be making her interview next week, until then, it's mainly up to Aiber."
"Tsch," Aiber snorted. "You make it sound like it's hard. I don't consider myself a 'professional conman' because it sounds cool."
"WHAAAAT??" I yelled from across the table. "You're a conman?" Mogi, who was sitting next to me, touched his ear in pain. "Sorry about that," I whispered to him.
"Well of course I'm a conman, L didn't hire me because of my dangerously handsome face." Matsuda snickered at Aiber's remark, I could see L glaring at Matsuda.
"Whoa you know, I would have never known this if you hadn't told me. Is there anything else I should know about, is Chief Yagami actually an international art thief or something?" There was silence, then Chief Yagami spoke really low and dark tone.
"I wouldn't joke about thieves around Weddy, she might get offended." I looked around and noticed for the first time that Weddy actually wasn't at our breakfast table.
"Wha-what do you mean? Are you saying that she's a thief? WHOA! I think I'm getting dizzy; this is so exciting!" I giggled to myself, realizing how lucky I was. I explained that I was getting a headache, and ran upstairs to my room flopping down on my bed. I've got a plan, somehow I'll be able to contact Rem, and I'll find some way to save L. The mission I thought to be impossible, is turning out to be easier than I expected!
The rest of the day was spent preparing Misa for the Yotsuba interview, at the rate she was going at, it was going to take the entire week. She couldn't seem to tone down the surprise level to something that was believable. I made a habit of waking up at three in the morning to go downstairs and eat ice cream with L. We continued to talk and ask questions about each other, until it just became a natural thing that we did.
"Hey you know what?" I interrupted one day, while I was breaking out a new flavor of ice cream. "I think we should go for a walk. I haven't been outside in forever, and of course you can bring your ice cream along with you." After much protest, L finally consented to going for a walk outside of the building.
"I believe there's a park nearby, unless you think that walking on a deserted street satisfies your needs," He grumbled as we walked.
"Ah, I didn't know you were so childish! And here I was thinking that you were all serious and mature. So where's this park? I don't think I've been to one in the longest time." Silence. "Well don't clam up on me now, after all the talking we've been through! Oh wait, it is my turn to ask you a question. So I've noticed that you are really pale, so my question for you is, have you ever been to a beach? I don't think you're albino, but sunlight doesn't seem to treat you well."
"We're going to turn left up here, and the park should be a little further from there," L instructed. "No I have never been to the beach, and I don't think it's something I can't live without. I believe I can go through the rest of my life and not worry about never going to the beach. I wouldn't think it fair to ask you if you have ever been to the beach, so I guess I'll have to come up with my own questions from now on."
"I have trained you well in the field of socializing, now this should be the ultimate challenge for you." I gave him a fake applause and we turned to the left.
"Right then, your question is; what did you want to be when you were growing up?" We started approaching the park, it was deserted as expected but it was still pretty.
"I must say, you pick a good park, and a good question for that matter."
"Thank you, I've been told I have great taste in children's playgrounds."
"Oh, now you have jokes? Who's been teaching you that? I'm going to have to take them out, nobody can be funnier than me! As for my question; when I was growing up I wanted to become a prosecutor. Sounds like an honorable job, right? I had it all planned out, I would go to college in the Ivy league and become a wealthy prosecutor in Beverly Hills. It's funny, because I've never even been to California before, I just wanted to go there because I saw these beautiful pictures on the internet. I think I'm going to ask you the same question, even though I think I already know the answer." We came to a bench in the lamplight, and I gestured to sit down.
"I as I grew up, I already knew that I would become a detective. I told you about how I was an orphan, well I lived in an orphanage called the Wammy House, it's not like any other Orphanages. The Wammy House is where all the specially gifted children go, so if you are raised there, it's almost definite that you are going to become a very powerful and smart adult."
"Sounds like a very cool place to be, I'll bet you had lots of campus parties." I poked fun at him, he didn't seem to mind.
"I am sure I don't know what you are rambling about."
"Oh, don't you pretend you are all innocent! I'm on to you, I'll bet that you are completely different from the L that everyone knows about. That you are secretly a huge party boy, that you listen to 80's music, and you have an '75 mustang with special modifications."
"If you don't stop talking this nonsensical banter, I will have no choice but to test you for hallucinogenic drugs."
"You'll have to catch me first if you want to make sure I am clean. And you'll have to find me in order to get your next question." I jumped up and ran towards the darkness where the trees blocked any moonlight. I stood behind a tree where I could still see L sitting on the bench. He sat there for a minute looking very irritated, then after a few long seconds, he got up from the bench and started walking in my direction. I silently giggled to myself, always keeping an eye on L, who was slowly getting closer and closer to me. I knew he couldn't see me, so I hushed my breath and waited for him to pass me.
When he completely passed me, I jumped onto his back in a single movement. Almost as quickly as I had jumped on his back, he lunged forwards and threw me onto the ground.
"I got you," he said with a little triumph in his voice. I let out a cry of pain.
"You had better start running, because the second I get enough energy to stand up, I'm taking you down. No more questions for you tonight." L chuckled, and turned around a started walking in the opposite direction.
Author's sad note- Hey guys, so I wont be able to update every other day like i usually do, because I have band camp and it's from 8 am to 6 pm, its really brutal. So if I had to guess, I'd say the next chapter would be ready by friday. keep the fingers crossed!