Chapter 10 - Life on Standby

The day of my flight home, I kept to myself. I'm sure everyone knew what happened from the night before. Harry helped me pack during the day. I didn't talk to anyone except for the few minutes Jody came over. We exchanged numbers and planned to meet in New York over the summer.

Around three, I was in the living room watching TV when Danny walked in from getting McDonald's. I had to tell Danny about Claire. "Danny, can I talk to you about Claire?"

Danny turned around in shock. I hadn't spoken to anybody, so it was surprising that I was talking to him. "Yeah, sure, what's up?" He placed the bag of food on the table and leaned against a chair.

"I wanted to tell you sooner but I promised I wouldn't say anything. You need to know what I know and I know that Claire's cheating on you." I fiddled with one of the throw pillows and stared at the ground while he replied.

"How do you know that? You don't know that. You don't even know the Claire Liz I know. Why do you say she's cheating on me? You have no proof. I know, you're just jealous that my relationship worked out and yours didn't." Silence filled the apartment. James's phone conversation had stopped. Tom and Harry's conversation stopped as well and the boys came out into the living room. I stood there in disbelief. My eyes met Tom's and tears stung my eyes. A silent tear ran down my cheek as I realized I did have proof.

I went into my backpack in Harry's room grabbing my digital camera. The pictures were still there from the day we spent on Rodeo Drive. There was Claire kissing another guy. I walked back to Danny and handed him the camera. "Here, look at this if you don't believe me." I dropped the camera in his hands. I watched his face fall.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just so confused. I don't know, no wonder she called me Sean during sex. She said it was role playing. I didn't know she was with another guy." Danny returned the camera and watched the tears roll down my cheek.

I took the camera and went back to Harry's room to get my things. I wanted to leave; I didn't want to be around him anymore. I brought my stuff to the door. I gave James and Danny a hug and kiss good-bye. Dougie had left earlier with Jody, but I gave him a kiss good-bye. Tom came over to me but I just walked out the door ignoring him.

Saying good-bye to Harry was harder than I thought. I stood by the window of the gate I was to board at. Harry stood across from me holding me to him. Tears were falling from my eyes as if they were a waterfall. I didn't want to leave him, but I didn't want to stay here.

"I love you. Call me when you get home so I know you're safe. I'm going to miss you kid," Harry whispered to me.

I shook my head in agreement. "I love you too. I'm going to miss you so much. Why can't you come home with me?" I asked through sobs.

Harry kissed my forehead and chuckled. "I wish I could, angel. But I have a tour coming up so I'll be bouncing around for a while. I'll be back home in a few months, and you can come visit me. I promise."

"This is the last call for all passengers on the flight 727 to Newark Airport to board the aircraft. Thank you," the stewardess said on the intercom.

Harry hugged me close and kissed my head. I pulled back from him, but he stopped me. He wiped away the remaining tears staining my face. "I love you, angel." I left my tight embrace and made my way toward the plane and away from this pain.

A few hours later I sat on the plane looking at the pictures I took: James and Harry laying on the beach, Tom playing guitar, Dougie and Jody surfing, Tom and I trying on goofy clothes while on Rodeo Drive, Tom and I dancing at the after party, the beautiful beach after the after party, and a group picture on the red carpet. I stared at the picture of Tom and me. We looked happy. Everything seemed perfect but it wasn't. I knew I wouldn't be able to say good-bye to him. I felt bad about the way I left. That's why I had written him a farewell letter that I left in his guitar bag. It was a simple letter that said everything that needed to be said.

Dear Tom,

When I came to California, I didn't know that I would meet a guy like you. I wasn't even expecting a guy like you to come along. But I'm glad you did. See before you, I hadn't been lucky in the romance department. No one ever gave me the attention you gave me besides Harry, but the difference between you and Harry is that Harry is like my brother and you are something special, different. It was good to be with you and it was a time that I most certainly won't forget. Tom, you were my first. It took me a while to find someone that was worth giving it to and I'm happy it was you.

Don't be fooled by this letter being all sweet and innocent. You did hurt me. Not only were you my first, but you were also my first broken heart. The problem with that is in order for me to have a broken heart I had to have strong feelings or been in love with you. I hate to tell you that I love you because you want to ignore the feelings I have towards you. I don't want my feelings ignored and it bothers me that you don't understand. I've never known a guy who shuns a girl for having feelings towards him. I have known guys to shun themselves for romantic feelings. I don't want to accuse you of anything, but I think you're afraid to love me back…but we'll never know.

I'll probably be back in New Jersey before you get this. So the point of this letter is to tell you my thoughts about you, about me, and most importantly us. I have feelings for you whether you like it or not. You're running away from something that's worth whatever you're scared of. We were just a couple of kids having a good time, right? Well, I'm gone and so are you. We have separate lives now, but if you need a girl's opinion that you're not related to, I'm here. No matter what life throws your way I'll be a friend. And if sometime you realize that we could work out, don't hesitate to call or write me.

Here is where I'll leave you. I've said everything that I wanted to say. One last thing, I'm sorry for leaving the way I did. It hurt too much to be around you after what happened. I hope you're not mad at me. I just couldn't handle it. I hope to talk to you sometime soon. Good-bye..

Kayleigh /3.

The End