A/N: Yes, I went way back to find someone. Season 4, Episode 9 - Juvenile, in case you're wondering. It took a lot of um, "research" of watching to find a good one.

CHAPTER 10

"Zachary Connor?" Alex asked when Barba was gone. She knew there were other things they needed to talk about, but she thought it was best to get the 'business' out of the way first.

"It makes sense," Olivia said. "You emasculated him on the stand."

"I didn't enjoy that, Olivia," Alex said.

"I know you didn't," Olivia said. "And it doesn't justify anything he did, but it does give us something to go on."

"He was a very disturbed kid," Alex said. "But it was so long ago. I mean, why wait?"

"You know how these guys are, Alex. There's no rhyme or reason to what they do. Maybe he had a trigger and then seeing you in the papers about the campaign brought up all of his anger," Olivia said.

"I know," Alex said. "It's just, well, it's not right. If this was a courtroom, it would be easy. But it's not; it's public opinion and no one needs any proof of anything to convict."

Olivia took Alex's hand.

"I know," Olivia said. "And I'm sorry that you have to go through this."

"No, Liv, it's my fault," Alex said. "It's my fault because I shouldn't have been running from my feelings then. If I had just told you, then we would have known, and if we were together, we could have disclosed, and none of this would be happening. If I could have just gotten over my fears and my political aspirations."

"Alex, this isn't your fault," Olivia said. "There was nothing to disclose, and I'm just as guilty of not telling you how I felt. Listen, there are a thousand things we could have done differently. But we're here now, with a clear conscious."

Alex was quiet until she heard Noah crying in the bedroom.

"I guess naptime is over," Olivia said. "Why don't you get comfortable on the couch, and I'll be right back with Noah. He'll probably want to watch cartoons for a bit, so we can talk more."

Alex nodded, and Olivia came back with a wide awake Noah.

"Hi, Noah!" Alex said.

"Noah, can you tell Alex hello?" Olivia prompted.

"Hi," Noah said before walking over to the DVD case and pointing to Frozen.

"Frozen? That's one of my favorites, too, Noah," Alex smiled.

"Well, that's not shocking," Olivia teased. "Ms. Ice Queen."

Alex narrowed her eyes at Olivia. "Funny, Liv, that's not what you were calling me last night."

Olivia blushed and then Alex did, too, realizing she had no idea how much toddlers could comprehend.

Olivia put the movie on, and Noah plopped down in front of the couch with his sippy cup.

"Is he always this calm?" Alex asked.

"Oh, no way," Olivia said. "But after a nap, it usually takes him a little while to get going. Trust me, in less than two hours, he'll be into everything."

"So, speaking of last night...," Alex said. "We should probably talk about that."

Olivia sighed.

"I don't like that sigh, Liv," Alex said. "Please tell me you enjoyed last night as much as I did."

"Of course I did, Alex," Olivia said. "But..." Alex's face dropped. She knew she wasn't going to like what was coming. "Barba is right, Alex. I can't let you jeopardize this election for me."

"Don't you think that should be my call, Olivia?" Alex snapped.

"Alex, please, think about this," Olivia said. "It's not just about the election. Do you really want every case we ever worked together to come under question?"

"Of course not, Olivia," Alex said. "And I don't want to put you under fire either, so if you think this is what is best..."

"Alex, don't do that," Olivia said. "This is a decision we have to make together. I just don't want you to ruin your chances at the DA seat because of me. I mean, we've waited this long, what's another few months, or less if we can find out who did this sooner?"

Alex sighed. "Yeah, you're right. I'm just not very patient, especially when I want something."

"Yeah, I remember last night...and so does my shirt," Olivia laughed.

"Can we have dinner again tonight, Liv?" Alex asked.

"Alex..." Olivia said.

"Just as friends," Alex said. "I'll order in, and we can eat here. Please?"

Olivia smiled. "Fine, just make sure I don't lose any more buttons on my clothing tonight."

"Deal."

Alex left and Olivia took Noah out to the park for the afternoon. Knowing that Connors could be watching her and Noah made her sick to her stomach, but she wasn't going to let it stop her from living her life. While Noah was playing, Olivia couldn't help but think about the previous night with Alex. She cared deeply for Alex, maybe even had loved her at one point. She wanted to see what could become of them, but she also knew it was risky for Alex - for both of them. She just wasn't sure she could tell Alex no. The only way they were going to be able to be together now was to catch Connor and clear their names.

Alex returned as promised later with dinner after Olivia had finished up Noah's dinner and bath.

"So, how are you dealing with not being the courtroom?" Olivia asked. Alex had quit her job at the DA's office when she started her campaign so she couldn't be accused of misusing her office time or influence in the election.

"Well, if I win the election, I won't be in the courtroom much anyway," Alex said. "I figured I'd better get a head start on it and see if I can handle it."

"That's not answering my question, Alex," Olivia said.

"It's...it's okay," Alex said. "I mean, you know I like being in the courtroom, but I think at this stage, I can be more effective setting the tone for the legal system in the city of New York."

"And I think you'll be great at it, Alex," Olivia smiled. "I mean, you have my vote."

"So, how is SVU?" Alex asked.

"SVU is...well, same as always to some degree," Olivia said. "Messy cases and detectives to care too much."

"Yeah, I've seen a few like that," Alex teased.

"You know, it's tough," Olivia said. "I appreciate Cragen so much more now. I mean, putting up with me and Stabler must have drove him crazy. Now, I'm having to be the grownup and tell my detectives to stand down when I would have gone out and done the exact same things they do."

"Yeah, you guys were a little out of control sometimes," Alex said.

"Us? I remember a certain ADA that came in ready to kick our ass, and pretty soon was bending the law as much as SVU does," Olivia said.

"Yeah, I guess SVU does that to you," Alex admitted. "So, David Haden, huh?"

Olivia blushed. "Listen, Alex, it was a short-lived thing. We were going to disclose, but then he got put in charge of the Public Integrity Unit..."

"Which would have made your relationship impossible..." Alex said. Olivia nodded.

"So, you were willing to take a chance with him, but not me?" Alex said.

"Alex, it wasn't like that," Olivia said. "I had no idea how you felt. David was clear."

Alex nodded and sighed.

"Jim Steele?" Olivia smiled.

"Yeah, I'd rather not talk about that period of my life," Alex said. "I was with Robert, and just wasn't quite myself. I mean, it's also part of why I never contacted you when I moved back. I was just trying to put the trauma of my past behind me."

Olivia nodded.

"I really am sorry, Liv," Alex said.

"I know, Alex," Olivia said. "And we have plenty of time to work through all of that. Just know that now, I've forgiven you, and I'm glad we're friends again. And not just friends, but friends who actually see each other. I've missed you, Alex."

Alex moved closer to Olivia on the couch and began to caress her hand.

"I've missed you, too, Liv," Alex said.

Olivia allowed herself to move closer, and Alex closed the gap between their lips and gently kissed Olivia.

Olivia kissed her back, allowing the kiss to grow more passionate between them.

"Alex, we have to stop doing this...," Olivia said, but then leaned in for another kiss.

"Yes, we definitely need to stop doing this," Alex said and kissed Olivia back.

Olivia got up and pulled Alex toward the bedroom.

"Remember, no flying buttons tonight," Olivia teased as they made their way to the bed.