Chapter 10
Next morning as Clara got on with her day, she made a mental note of all she had done since rising early at six in the morning:
She had gone back to the Tardis and searched the room Jace had stayed in while they were travelling.
The case was under the bed, but all she found inside it was the Doctor's medical notes.
Then she had gone back to the cottage and cooked breakfast, found Jace already up and dressed and as he announced he was going back to the Tardis to collect some supplies, she breathed a relieved sigh, realising how close she had come to getting caught.
She still had the feeling that Jace was hiding something, but clearly, he had moved it now...
She took some breakfast to the Doctor's room and found him up and dressed.
He had got dressed by himself, and that was a first since he had fallen ill, but no sooner had she told him he had done well, he had looked at her apologetically and asked her to tie up his shoe laces.
Then she left him to have breakfast and went back to find Jace.
She found him in the hallway, and he was laying out meds on a small table in the hallway.
"As you can see," Jace said politely,"I'm stone cold sober – and I'm going to stay that way."
"I hope you do."
"It won't be easy," he admitted, "But I want to help the Doctor. I feel bad that I wasn't there for him when he needed me. I can understand you getting so upset over it."
"We should put that behind us," Clara told him, "We're both on the same side."
And then she caught a brief flicker of guilt in his eyes, but then it was gone again.
"Of course we are," he said, and then he changed the subject:
"I've got the anti venom shot, the pain shot if he needs it and the milder pain relief too – has he had breakfast?"
She nodded.
"Then he should be okay with the pills. That's good, I'm never happy to pump a patient full of morphine on a regular basis. Do you want to give him the shot today?"
"Yes, I'm okay with it," Clara replied, "I can handle it now."
And Jace handed her the sealed anti venom shot.
"It's not easy, I know," he said to her, "Watching someone you love suffer. Its the worst feeling, it must be something like I went through – not the same of course, but when my wife died, I felt helpless, scared. It doesn't matter how confident you are, how in control you are, when someone you love falls ill, or you lose them – it's the worst feeling ever, because there's nothing you can do about it."
"I know," she said softly, "It has been really difficult, since the Doctor was ill. But he's getting better now, I can see it happening more every day."
Jace smiled.
"And you don't really have me to thank for that, its down to you. You're the one he needs."
"But I do feel grateful to you," she told him, "Because after he was poisoned, you saved his life. He wouldn't be here if not for you. So no matter what, I'll always thank you for that."
And Jace looked away for a moment, and then he shoved aside the feelings of guilt that weighed heavy, and he changed the subject swiftly.
"Come on then," he said to her, "Show me how skilful you've become with these anti venom jabs."
Moments later the Doctor was out of his chair and face down on his bed – and he had needed little help to get there, something Clara found encouraging, another sign that he was recovering.
As she opened up the sealed packaging and took out the syringe, she drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly, determined not to have a moment of anxiety and the breath-hold that would follow as she waited for the pain to hit.
"Ready?" she said quietly.
"Get on with it," the Doctor replied, and he closed his eyes trying to fight the waves of tension that shot through his body in anticipation of the pain to follow.
"Have you taken the pain meds, Doctor?" Jace asked.
"No."
"He wants to see if he can handle it on his own this time," Clara added, and then she glanced at the Doctor, "But don't worry, I'm here with pills and water if it gets too much."
"I know that. Hurry up, I'm getting nervous!" the Doctor said.
"Sorry," she replied, "I'll get it over with as quickly as I can," and she lowered the needle.
As the point neared the port it slid open and she slipped the needle inside and injected the contents, then she drew the needle out again and the port slid shut.
"Done," she said, and handed the used syringe to Jace.
He was watching the Doctor intently as he cautiously turned on to his back, breathing slowly as he fought to stay calm as he waited for the pain to hit.
"Okay?" he asked.
Pain began to burn in his lower spine, then flickering aches shot down his legs. The Doctor tensed, pain registering on his face as he dragged in a breath.
Clara was at his side instantly, reaching for the pain relief.
The Doctor held his hand up.
"No...just...wait..." he was breathing through the pain, and then he closed his eyes, concentrating on every breath as the sharp pain began to flicker out and fade.
"I can do this...I've turned a corner. I worked it out, each day I get rapid improvement.. I can feel it fading out, I can handle this..."
And then he opened his eyes and grabbed at Clara's hand and clutched it tightly as a trickle of sweat ran down his face.
"I'm fine now," he said, sounding slightly breathless, "I can handle it now."
Then he let go of her hand and rested heavily against his pillows as his breathing slowed to an even pace.
Clara was looking at him in surprise.
"You coped."
He laughed softly.
"I know, I'm getting through this thing now! Its almost over, I know it..."
"I'll get the scanner from the Tardis lab," Jace said, "I need to take a look at your spine."
As he left the room Clara sat on the edge of the bed and looked down at the Doctor as her eyes shone with relief.
"That terrible pain is really over?"
"Yes," he said to her, "I feel absolutely fine."
Jace returned with a small hand held scanner, and Clara watched anxiously as he slowly ran it down the length of the Doctor's spine. As he looked to the small monitor set inside the scanner, she stepped closer to take a look at it.
"How does that thing work?"
Jace traced his fingertip down the monitor.
"The clear area means no toxin left. The yellow area indicates presence of venom. You can see for yourself how much is left."
"Where?" Clara asked, and Jace ran his fingertip down the screen again as he kept the device held to the Doctor's back.
"Can you see what I'm seeing?"
The Doctor was on his front on the bed and had been listening to the conversation going on over him, but now both Jace and Clara had fallen silent.
He started to worry.
"What's wrong?" he said, "What is it now I know there's something..."
Jace lifted the scanner from his back and switched it off.
The Doctor turned over and sat up, eyes wide as he looked at Jace, who turned away as he put the scanner back into its case.
"Clara? What is it, what's wrong with me now?"
He saw her eyes had misted up with tears and as she looked at him she said nothing as she sat beside him again, she just kept on looking at him and the longer she did that, the more worried he became.
"What?" he demanded, "You'll have to tell me eventually! Say it!"
Clara blinked to clear her vision. As she spoke, her voice trembled, it was hushed, and choking with emotion.
"Your scan was clear."
He stared at her.
"Clear?"
She started to smile as tears of relief filled her eyes once more.
"You're clear!" she said again, "It's over!"
And she put her arms around him and he held her tightly as the news sunk in.
As the Doctor let go of her she saw joy shining in his eyes, but then he turned from Clara and addressed Jace.
"How long will it be before I can walk?"
"I don't know," Jace replied honestly, "This is unknown territory for me. I was treating you based on a human reaction to the venom – clearly, a Time Lord reaction is very different. Your recovery has been rapid."
"So give me a rough guess!" the Doctor said impatiently, "How long before I can walk, Jace?"
He shrugged.
"Hours, weeks, months – or never. I'm sorry, I don't know. Your reaction to the venom was very different to a human reaction and your recovery is something I can't accurately predict. It seems to me that you're doing well, all I can advise you to do is give it time and be patient. Don't rush it."
He saw a flicker of frustration in the Doctor's eyes.
"I'm not too good with being patient Jace. In fact I'm not a patient kind of patient at all. I take it the treatment is finished now?"
"I'll have to remove the cybernetic port from your spine, but apart from that, yes its over."
"Then why can't I walk?"
"Nerve endings need to finish repairing. That is something that could happen tomorrow - or never. There is no more I can do for you."
"But I want to recover -"
"I'm sorry," Jace added, "I can't do any more, Doctor."
"But you've done enough," Clara told him, "You've got him through the worst of it, thank you, Jace. We're both grateful."
The Doctor nodded in agreement but remained silent, saying no more as he wondered exactly what recovery would mean.
Then Jace left the room and Clara stayed with the Doctor, speaking softly to him as she reminded him of all he needed to remember, that the pain was over now, there would be no more anti venom shots...
Later as the sunset gave way to dusk and clear skies were darkened by smoky clouds, as Clara slept in the Doctor's room after dinner, he drove his chair out of the house and to the waters edge, where he spotted Jace standing alone as he threw something into the lake.
The Doctor hit a button on his chair and drove over to join him, and as he turned and saw him there, Jace looked startled.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to disturb you," the Doctor said.
"You didn't," Jace replied, "I was just thinking, that's all."
"I've been doing too much of that too," the Doctor replied, "I've had time to do little else since I fell ill."
"I really miss my wife," Jace told him, "This is one of those evenings where I could just disappear into a bottle to block it all out. But I don't want to do that any more."
The Doctor looked at him thoughtfully.
"Lets do a deal."
"What sort of deal?"
"If you stop drinking, I'm going to try and get back on my feet again – with your help. What do you think, Jace? We're both afraid of trying for what we want, so let's do it together. You go sober and I'll try to learn to walk again."
Jace thought for a moment, looking out to the waters that were now dimmed by the darkening skies, and then he nodded.
"Okay," he said to the Doctor, "It's a deal."
And the two men shook hands.
The days passed.
Clara had no idea why the Doctor spent so much time in the Tardis with Jace showing him complicated scientific books in the Tardis library, claiming the medic would find them interesting – that was what he had said he was doing – but she had noticed as each day passed, the Doctor became more lively, more like his old self again, and that made her happy.
He was talkative, restless, becoming the man she had fallen in love with, the man she had known before the effects of the venom had changed him so much. The lines on his face seemed less deep now, his complexion was healthy and he was eating well and sleeping well and when he took her in his arms at night, their passion deepened and their love making had become complete, and although the Doctor was still compromised by his back, it seemed nothing was missing from their lives now, except for one thing:
The Doctor was still confined to his wheelchair...
Then one morning, after they had been at the cottage for almost two weeks, Clara had woken up to find the Doctor was already up and dressed and in his chair, and about to leave the bedroom.
"Where are you going?" she asked him sleepily, and he backed up the chair, leaned over her and kissed her and quickly explained:
"I'm still showing some texts to Jace, it will help him with his farming when we leave him on the planet of his choice. I think its going to be earth. I have to go, he's busy and he has to do a thing for me."
"What thing?"
She was sitting up in bed now, and she ran her fingers through her hair and pushed it out of her eyes.
"Just a thing," he replied, and he gave her a wink and then left the room.
Clara gave a sigh and slumped back down to the softness of a pillow that carried the scent of the Doctor's hair, and slipped back into an easy slumber.
Half an hour later the Doctor was in the lab, his shirt off as he lay face down on a table as Jace cautiously removed the cybernetic port from his back.
"Is it out?" he asked as he felt Jace tug something from his flesh, and Jace replied as he covered the wound:
"Yes and you have to rest for the next forty eight hours while it heals. I've covered it with a synthetic sealant that will encourage rapid healing, but don't get out of the chair until you're ready for bed. And absolutely no trying to walk until the wound is closed, or you could damage your spine all over again."
The Doctor gave a sigh of frustration.
"This is not easy for me, Jace."
"Waiting never is."
He helped the Doctor to sit up and then handed him his shirt.
"What are you waiting for?" the Doctor asked.
Jace looked at him and felt caught out.
The Doctor was looking at him thoughtfully as he buttoned up his shirt.
"I'm just looking forward to getting that land and living the dream I should have shared with my wife."
The Doctor tidied his clothing and then eased himself back into his chair. Then he settled back and continued to eye Jace thoughtfully, and Jace began to feel uneasy.
"What's with the look?" Jace asked him.
"You said you was looking forward to buying the farmland. There's a huge difference between impatience and anticipation. What else is there, Jace?"
"Nothing."
He looked away, then turned his back as he began to pack up his surgical tools.
The Doctor frowned as he sat there in silence, wondering what Jace was hiding:
There was something, but he couldn't work it out...
Surely if he had his eye on the Tardis he would have tried to steal it before now?
"Are you sure there's nothing else?" he asked.
Jace looked around, and the Doctor noticed he was sweating.
"Nothing," he said, and forced a smile.
"I'll see you back at the cottage," the Doctor replied, and then he drove his chair out of the room.
As the Doctor left, Jace put down the equipment he was packing up and breathed a heavy sigh, feeling torn between loyalty to his new friends and the need to change the past.
He didn't want to force the Doctor to do anything, he wished him well, he wished both of them well and hurting either of them was the very last thing he wanted to do – but he could not let go of the past.
It seemed as if every time he turned a corner, made an achievement in his life that felt like moving forward, she was dragging him back, like the ghost of Maria still lingered in his memory refusing to let go...
He could not let her go.
His need to be with her, to change destiny and bring about a different ending that did not tear his heart in two was far greater than his need to be loyal to the Doctor and Clara.
He knew he had to use the Tardis to go back and change the past, and he was going to do it soon.
He was going to do it tomorrow...