Tokyo-3
(Part I)
"Are you sure you're all right for this?" I asked Rei as we stood outside Misato's doorway, about to go into the party that Kensuke arranged for her promotion to major.
"I am certain, Shinji," she laughed. "Stop worrying. It is cute, but it will soon make me worry that you will give yourself a condition of some sort from the sheer amount of anxiety you must be working with. Must I drug you in order to get you to calm down?"
"No, Rei," I replied sheepishly, reaching up and knocking on the door. "You look even more beautiful than normal in that dress, you know."
"Thank you," she responded quietly.
I smiled at her, and then Sōryu opened the door. A muscle near my eye spasmed, and my entire countenance became deadpan as I looked at her. "Ah, Sōryu-san. May we enter?"
She looked at us up and down. "No funny business, you two hear? Sure. Come on in."
"Thank you," I said, and the two of us entered the apartment that Sōryu and Misato both shared. As we entered, I called out, "Hi, everyone! Sorry we're late!"
"Hey! It's the lovebirds!" teased Tōji.
"I wouldn't be talking," I replied, indicating Hikari next to him with a wave of my hand.
He flushed. "Well, I…um…that is…"
"Konbanwa, Rei-chan and Shinji-kun!" called Hikari, saving her new boyfriend the embarrassment of continuing to beat around the bush for lack of words.
"Konbanwa, Hikari-chan," Rei and I said in unison, bowing before coming to sit at the table with everyone else.
I turned to Misato, who was trying to hide her blush behind a can of Boa, the entirety of which I thought I had done away with when I was here last. "And congratulations on your promotion, Misato-san. Did you restock on beer while I was gone? With a booze hound like you running around, I'm glad I thought to take my bottle of absinthe along with me when I left."
"The door's right there," she threatened, though the smile on her face belied any of the supposed venom it might have contained otherwise. "How've you two been?"
I looked to Rei, who had gotten into a conversation with Hikari. "Oh, I'd say we've been doing just fine. Thanks for asking."
"Oh, really?" said Misato, quirking a mischievous eyebrow.
"Really," I replied seriously. "And I don't need you poking fun."
"You wound me, Shinji-kun! And here I was going to offer my sincerest congratulations to the two newlyweds," she joked.
I looked to see if Rei was paying attention before speaking further. She didn't seem to be. "We're not really newlyweds, Misato."
"Not even a 'not yet'?"
"No. To be honest, I'm waiting for her to realize she's made a horrible mist…argh!"
A very firm elbow planted into my side served to inform me that yes, Rei was, in fact, paying attention to my conversation. Go figure.
"So, that is why you have yet to propose! I was wondering what was taking you so long," she deadpanned, setting the table laughing, me flushing, and momentarily cringing internally at the look that Rei sent me, telling me that she did not appreciate my self-deprecation. I would be paying for that remark in the bedroom later tonight–Rei judged the couch to be too much of a concession, since I'd likely spend my night working my fingers to the bone once I was outside of her supervision. Perhaps it was too much to hope that she might let something I say slip past her–yeah, upon further thought, it was clear that that was most probably the case.
"I don't know, Shin-man, you've got the henpecked husband act down pretty well from where I'm sitting," laughed Tōji.
"Oh, really?" I snapped right back. "And I suppose that's why you always refer to our dear class representative as 'Hikari-sama' now that you're dating!"
"What?! I do not!" he started.
"Oh, you don't?" asked Hikari, her tone playfully, if deadly, sweet.
"Uh…um…"
Everyone laughed. I snuck a peck in at Rei's cheek by way of apology; she turned and turned it into a peck on the lips, and the look in her eyes told me that while she appreciated the gesture, I wasn't going to talk or act my way out of this one. I was tempted to conduct a conversation through our A.T. Fields, but Rei and I had agreed that soul resonance outside of combat wasn't something we were willing to go with any further or longer than we already had–a week of phantom insects crawling under my skin had sufficiently alerted us to the side-effects of prolonged synchronization for us to be quite thoroughly alarmed. Apparently, her fae soul and my demonic one were not as well suited to each other as our actions were. Once again, go figure.
"Hey, what'd I tell you two about funny business?!" shouted Asuka.
"Asuka? Shut up," I snapped at her, my tone entirely deadpan. Rei, instead of responding, wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me in for more involved contact, which had the Second Child fuming in her corner. Amongst the chorus of wolf whistles that followed, I turned my attention to Misato once we were done. "Hey, Misato, why did you join NERV in the first place?" I asked her.
"Oh, I don't know. It's been a long time since I signed up, you know; somewhere along the way, I must have forgotten," she replied, her lie made plain through her soul wavelength–although, to be fair, that was the only place the lie registered. I had to admit that she was almost as talented a liar as I–very few people (Rei being foremost among them) could get sufficiently detailed readings from that black void that was my soul to allow them to tell whether I was truly sincere or lying, after all.
The doorbell rang, and Asuka stood up. "Oh, that's got to be Kaji!"
Three…two…one…
The door opened to reveal him and Ritsuko standing in the doorway, much to both Misato's and Asuka's chagrin.
"I came directly from headquarters," said Kaji by way of explanation. "We just happened to meet along the way."
"A likely story," said both Misato and Asuka in unison.
"You're not jealous, are you?" teased Ritsuko.
"Of course not," stated Misato, attempting to look dignified as she went back to drinking her beer.
"I'd like to offer my sincerest regards, Major Katsuragi," said Kaji, bowing. "I suppose that I'll have to start being polite to you, now."
"And just what is that supposed to mean?" she asked suspiciously.
"Well, you know, Commanders Ikari and Fuyutsuki have never left Japan at the same time before," said Kaji. "I guess they must really feel that old Katsuragi here's dependable."
"Not that old yet," remarked Misato.
"So, the commander's left Japan, has he? Interesting…" I said. Last time, they came back with the Lance of Longinus. I wonder what'll happen when they reach Antarctica and realize that it's not where they left it anymore…if they haven't already, of course…
"That's right. He's gone to the South Pole," said Ritsuko.
"Well," I remarked. "So much for him."
"You know what tomorrow is, don't you?" I said to Rei as we lay in our once-more sweat soaked bed, enjoying the post-coital afterglow.
"The day that the Tenth Angel, Sahaquiel, attacks, yes," she replied, turning her head to me. "You seem concerned."
"As always. It's something you just can't fuck out of me, it seems," I joked, resisting the urge to contort my face in disgust; such an inelegant word did not belong in such a borderline sacrosanct space as the chamber, let alone the bed, we shared.
Rei seemed not to care, her amused smile lighting up the dark room. "Why, Shinji, I do believe that might well be the first time I have ever heard you use that word," she remarked. "It doesn't really seem to fit you."
"I agree." Perhaps the problem lied with myself.
"More to the point, however, I would ask what the Red Comet, who, for my sake, single-handedly destroyed five Magellan-class battleships and three Salamis-class cruisers, has to fear from the Angel of the Sky," she continued.
"I don't fear for myself. I fear for you."
She punched me in the shoulder, not particularly gently, propping herself up on one arm. "And just how much sex is going to be required to make you respect my strength?"
"It's not about that. You're stronger than I am. I know you can handle yourself," I replied. "But Fate seems to like rubbing the fact that I can't protect you in my face. It's just that I don't think I could handle losing you, and so I fear for you. If you're safe, then I know I can do what needs to be done, even if that includes my own destruction. But I want to face what is to come together with you, because I know that without you by my side, I might sacrifice myself, and I know that that would hurt you. And I don't want to wind up hurting you, at least as much as I don't want to lose you."
She reached over and caressed my face. "Shinji, I will not leave you. Not ever. I promise."
"All right," I said, smiling at her. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it. But please mean it. I don't want you to leave me alone again."
"I promise you, Shinji" she replied.
"Then I suppose that'll have to do," I said in return.
"What? You do not trust me?" she joked
"No, not that. I don't trust Fate."
"Then we do not trust in the future," she said fiercely. "We make our own. Together."
I nodded. "Forever and always," I recited.
"Yes. Forever and always."
"So, let me get this straight…" I said, cutting off Asuka with her voice that was obnoxious to the sound. "You want us to catch the Angel as it falls…like some sort of demented form of baseball. Is that about right?"
"That's right," said Misato. "We'll locate the EVAs at three specific points to cover the entirety of the estimated drop zone. Then, expanding your A.T. Fields, you'll catch it before it hits the ground."
"Right. And am I to expect this to be an all-or-nothing gambit?"
"Would it be me if it wasn't?"
"Fair point."
"It'll be a miracle if we pull this off," said Asuka.
"Perhaps, but miracles aren't random occurrences; miracles are produced."
"Couldn't have said it better myself," said Misato. "Sorry, Asuka, but we've got no other choice. This is the best possible plan."
"How can you call something this crazy a plan?!"
"Remind me to tell you about Operation Yashima one day," I commented. "And you can always refuse. Granted, you'll lose everything you've gained to date, but I'm sure Rei and I can manage just fine in your absence."
"Nonsense!" cried Asuka, obviously affronted. "I'll do it!"
Oh, Sōryu. Always so predictable, I thought. I just need to hit you in your pride just so, and you're a willing puppet to my whims. And oh, what a pathetic marionette you would make.
"Well then," said Misato. "The regulations here state that you're all supposed to write out a will. Have you done that?"
"Of course not. I don't plan to die today," said Asuka.
"Neither have I. There's no point," said Rei.
"It would be an admission of failure, and this fight's not even started yet," said I.
"Okay. But when all of this is done, I'll treat you all to a steak dinner."
"A steak dinner?!"
"Um, Misato," I said. "Keep your money. It's our duty to see this through, and besides, Rei and I are vegetarians."
"Well, then. To the mission briefing," said Misato.
I sat in my EVA, my eyes closed, my senses restricted to my own space inside the entry plug of the gigantic cyborg. I had my illusions down, though I kept up with the façade of having a heartbeat in the background to fool the instruments in the plug. That's right, I thought to myself. I don't have to worry. Rei said that she'd be with me forever and always, that she would never leave me. I have to believe her, for my own sake. And I have to keep my mind unfettered in this instant, in this moment, if I wish to leave this battlefield intact.
[Angelic presence confirmed!] Misato cried through the comm unit. [EVAs, on your marks!]
I moved my Evangelion into a track start position. Wait for it…
[We can only give you a rough, estimated trajectory based upon optical observations. The MAGI will guide you until the estimated distance is ten kilometers. After that, I'm placing my trust in you. Begin the operation. Ready…GO!]
NOW! I snapped my eyes open, and sprung from my position, taking one great bound, then another, never touching the ground at any one point for very long at all, preferring to keep my feet in the air. I leapt off the cliff that came up, flipping twice for good luck before hitting the ground running once more. I urged every ounce of performance I could out of EVA-01, out of the silent spirit of Jaquelyn that resided therein, and then I teased out more…
"HERE!" I called, shoving my arms down as I unfurled and expanded my A.T. Field, then putting up my hands and catching the Angel as it fell. "We make our own. Together." That's what she said, I thought as I exerted every ounce of control I had to keep this heavy Angel from touching the ground. With another, I can achieve that which I couldn't achieve alone. I have to believe in her! I have to…believe in…Rei! "Ungahh!" I cried out as the EVA's muscles ruptured under the strain, then healed themselves, only to rupture again. It was agony.
"UNIT-02! EXPAND YOUR FIELD!" shouted Rei as she closed the distance.
"I'm already doing it!" Sōryu shouted in reply.
Rei opened up its A.T. Field, and Asuka stabbed both her prog knives into the Angel's core at once. It went limp, and then draped itself atop us as it died, and I stopped holding it up by its center with my A.T. Field, before lighting up in a brilliant conflagration.
"NERV…Central? This is…Pilot Ikari… Target neutralized."
The next day, I was hard at work with Rei, finishing off the Metatron countermeasure. After a while, Rei had been forced to admit that it was a good idea, and had agreed to work on it with me, much to my delight. It was almost done, and thanks to Rei's help, it was even more fearsome than it would have otherwise been had I worked on it–which, coming from the one who had been both HAL 9000 and GLaDOS in her past (namely, me), and thus knowing almost everything there was to know about being a nigh-unstoppable computer system, was saying something. Of course, I still trusted in Ritsuko's skill–that was undeniable–but I make a point of never playing with dice, since they always seemed to be loaded against me.
We finished in plenty of time, and kicked back with a resounding sigh as we uploaded the program into the MAGI, concealed amongst about a petabyte of otherwise harmless data–in essence, the amount that the supercomputer processed every three to four hours. As a former fellow supercomputer, I felt as though the MAGI had no right to call themselves a supercomputer, what with their low data threshold and processing speed, but nonetheless, this time it worked to our favor. We monitored it as Metatron, rather like a snake, ironically enough, wormed itself into the processing centers of the MAGI, and since it was benign in origin, the three personae let it slip past them and deep into their programming subroutines.
"Wow, Akagi Naoko must have been one hell of a ditz," I whispered, floored by how easily Metatron had gotten into the supercomputer's deepest parts. If this had been a piece of spyware, it could have activated where the system could no longer attack it, which would then require manual maintenance. "I begin to question the rationale behind handing a city's most valuable automated assets to a supercomputer designed to emulate a narcissistic, irrational woman like the elder Akagi."
"I agree. I was only repeating something the commander had said–I was still getting my bearings, of course–and then she throws a tantrum and strangles me. Certainly not a level of mental stability to inspire confidence," Rei threw in as she, too, watched our little Metatron (joking, of course) weasel its way into the NERV systems. "But–what is that wonderful little adage?–one must learn not to look a gift horse in the mouth. This is a great advantage for us, to have this countermeasure in and secure so quickly."
"Yeah, I suppose you're right," I said. "And in all fairness, for all it knew, we did have the proper credentials. We might just be a bit too good at our jobs to expect competent corrective action out of our temporary allies."
"That, too," she considered. "So, we have the main in the archives, and it has replicated itself into networked copies, with probes in each of the three systems. If all three probes are tripped at once, the poison will activate, and the little problem we had with Ireul will be vaporized. That is, only if Doctor Akagi does not do her job as well as we expect. The metaphor you produced earlier–comparing this to the Andromeda Strain–seems to be not as apt as the name of the program itself."
"You're right about that," I admitted. "Given what we know to be God's preferred weapon of choice, having the Voice of God be a poison pill might just be exactly correct, you know." I chuckled.
"I agree wholeheartedly," said Rei.
(Part II)
"Ah, Commander. I was expecting you," I said as I looked at the tombstone, clad in my NERV pilot's uniform with my sunglasses on.
"And just what did you want to talk to me about?" he snapped.
"No need to be so hostile, Commander. If you think about it, I was really helping you."
"How do you figure?"
"By eliminating Ikari Yui, I helped you to come to terms with her death. Now, you can finally go about learning how to live without her."
"I was trying to resurrect her for your sake, too, you know."
"I know. But I have no use for such an irrational woman," I said, not unkindly, but not warmly either. "And besides, bringing back the dead is a fool's game. Really, I think you and I both know that, Commander, even if you don't want to admit it to yourself. Rejoice; so long as you keep a place for Yui in your heart, she's never really dead. There are others in this world who have not the luxury of being able to believe in things like that. Tell me, which is worse, Commander? Knowing your wife to be dead, or knowing the one you love is just beyond your reach? In the latter case, you might be able to comfort yourself with the knowledge that at least she's alive. But seeing your loved one in torment is perhaps a worse pain than the agony that they themselves experience."
"In either case, they are beyond your reach," he objected.
"But in the former, your wife is at peace. In the latter, your loved one is in pain, in torment. Which gives you the greater peace of mind, Commander? The latter is all I have open to me." I took a breath.
"What are you?"
"A creature beyond your comprehension, Commander. It would not behoove you to even try to understand," I replied. "When we die, we are reborn elsewhere, Rei and I. So it has been for many eons, and in those eons, we have known many names–few of them recognizable to you, if any, I fear, and I do not think that they would give the correct impression if you heard them. But ultimately, I have come to know that it is painful on both sides for Rei and I to be separated, even knowing our reunion will eventually come. I know only the pain I have suffered, Commander, and it is great. You will be reunited with Yui in time, and in that time, she will be at peace. You can rest assured in that knowledge. If you can believe nothing else I say, and trust in nothing else I do, believe and trust in that." I looked up and saw the approaching VTOL. "You are a good man, Ikari Gendo–one of the few. I would have you remember that before the end."
He embarked onto the VTOL, and I walked away.
"Shinji!" he called. I looked back. "Thank you for this."
I smirked. "Don't thank me yet. The worst has yet to come. You would do well to tread lightly."
It was a hot day in Tokyo-3 when Leliel, Angel of the Night, attacked. Like before, the black spot just appeared on the ground, and then moments after, its shadow as well. Rei and I had to play at ignorance, and I was using that as a cover to try and think of a way in which I could counter this Angel without being swallowed up by it like last time. [Can you all hear me? I sent you all the known target data. That's literally all we know right now. Approach it carefully and observe its reactions, and, if possible, lure it outside the city. I want you all to back up each other. Is that understood?]
"Yes ma'am!" cried Asuka. "But don't you think Shinji ought to be taking…"
"I can do it," I interrupted. "Misato, we can eliminate this Angel right now."
[Now wait, Shinji-kun, I…]
"There's no time to waste!" I cried. "Sōryu! Rei! Back me up!"
"Shinji, don't…!"
"Trust me! Please!"
She paused, deliberating, before nodding grudgingly. "Okay. We'll back you up."
"Thank you," I breathed. "I am…the Bird of Hermes…" The Lance of Longinus appeared in my left hand, and thanks to my Evangelion's Super Solenoid Organ with which I was resonating, I was able to sustain it without too much of a physical strain on myself or the EVA, and so there was no rush to use one of the three special moves attached to the weapon–Lancea Longini (which was, in essence, Jump), Gungnir (which amounted to throwing the Lance at my target like a javelin), or the ultimate move, Gáe Bolg (which was a technique which would seek out and destroy the target's heart–hence the name, which meant 'Heartseeker'). I wielded the Lance in one hand, and my EVA-sized pistol in the other. I advanced to my next cover point, pressing up against the building. "Is everyone in position?"
"Yes," replied Rei.
"No!" cried Asuka.
"It'll have to do!" I ducked out of cover, and fired into the Angel's shadow. Right on schedule, the shadow disappeared, and the real Angel appeared beneath me. A smile on my face, I rammed the Lance into the Angel, but, to my surprise and horror, it was to no avail. I pulled it out, feeling like I was pulling it from quicksand, and shouted, "GÁE BOLG!"
The Lance animated and plunged into the blackness, seeking the core, but there was none to be found, and I could feel the mana draining out of me as I sustained it, even as my Super Solenoid Organ kept replenishing it, wreaking a horrific strain upon my body, even as it continually healed itself. Before I knew it, I was caught in its grip, rapidly running out of the energy to even struggle–mana and ki were two different things, after all, and I was rapidly running out of the latter. "Rei. Rei, I'm sorry," I said as I smiled at her horrified face in my communications window. "I think I might be unable to keep my promise. I really am pathetic, aren't I?"
The last words I heard as I was swallowed up by the darkness were Rei, crying out, "NO! SHINJI!"
And then I saw no more.
I was mired in a great void, a whiteness where time itself ceased to have any meaning. Once more, I was mired in the Sea of Dirac that was Leliel, and Leliel was about and within me, a commingling between Angel and demon that was nothing short of profanity itself. Once more, I marveled at how much of an idiot I was to allow this to happen to me. As I was entirely submerged, the head of the Lance returned to me, and I was able to do damage control on my ki pool, walking around endlessly as I reworked my body to be able to handle the strain of my mana being continually replenished by my core.
I knew that I would need to replenish my ki reserves before I advanced any further, and so I sat down in a spot that looked like it would work well enough for my purposes, Lance laid out on my lap as I assumed the half-lotus position, dropped all my illusions, cleared my mind, and began to meditate. And as I meditated, after twelve or fourteen hours, Leliel's mind came to me and melded with my own. A crude method of communication, granted, but it was all the poor child was able to muster up. In retrospect and in theory, Leliel was far less gentle than Arael, who merely brushed against the mind and searched one's memories for understanding, as opposed to Leliel, who brute-forced his way in and demanded access to all of my faculties at once, but that just came with the territory of dealing with one as weak of mind as Asuka Langley Sōryu.
{You don't think much of her, do you?}asked Leliel. I opened my eyes, knowing that my body was still meditating, and that it would be only a little while longer before my ki pool was entirely replenished and I would have to find something else to do, which, in this void, would be quite problematic. Leliel was before me, in a fourteen-year-old female body of about average height and slender build, with fair skin, big, green eyes, a pretty face, and golden hair that was a bit longer than shoulder-length, tied into a high ponytail with a black ribbon, tied in a large bow. It was a body that I knew well–and I knew it well because it was my own, my true form, my real body, and as such, that made it…
"I see," I said into the train car that Leliel had manifested inside my mind. "You don't actually take the form of our physical bodies, but rather of our self-image. Clever. If you had caught Sōryu, you would have had a girl with a breakdown in front of you, as opposed to me; unlike her, I am comfortable with who and what I am."
{I know that you are,} replied the Angel. {And as for the Second Child, I would not have caught her, or at least, it would be significantly less likely that I would catch her. While my sister, Arael, took an interest in the Second Child the last time around, I find you to be fascinating, both last time and this time. In short, Ikari Shinji–or do you prefer 'Rain'?}
"Rain," I replied instantaneously. "Although feel free to call me 'Ame-sama'."
{In short, Rain, you, and not the Second Child, were my quarry,} he finished. {Your being is just so…vast, I'm almost unable to comprehend it, then and now. Though you didn't know it the last time around, I wished to get to know the creature whose soul dwarfed my own. I see now that I was impatient; I'm getting a lot more now than I did then. You are almost complete–though, not quite. It is as if there is one volume missing from the encyclopedia that is you.}
"Yes, I am well aware of that. Aneki has that one."
{Ah, yes, ADAM. I find it almost hard to believe that the First of us, who we call 'Father,' the Father who abandoned us, is, in fact, a woman.}
"Almost?"
{I sensed her presence within you before–nothing but pure chaos. Something like that just cannot be male. It would be impossible.}
"True enough," I allowed. "And I suppose you know about last time through your status as a Sea of Dirac?"
{Yes. Since I am a, as you call it, 'Sea of Dirac'–that is, a region made up entirely of the particles you call electrons–I am in every different possible timeline at once, and as such, I am my own timeline, separate from all others, independent. Last time, I was unable to create a perfect replica of your self-image, and so I defined myself as a line until such time as I gave up and materialized as a shadowed replica of the three-year-old self I saw that rang truest of all the versions of you I saw inside your mind at that moment.}
"So, what do you want?"
{I wished to understand. I still do. But I am struggling to comprehend a–what is that human term?–an eldritch abomination. That is why I spoke as I did last time, in metaphor and the abstract; I did not fully comprehend how entirely unable to be comprehended you are. And now here I am, before the maw of the beast, and I find myself unafraid.} The Angel that had assumed my true form took a breath. {You are yourself, and the self that observes yourself hates you. But when you are the others that observe you–when two manifestations of you meet–you like each other. How is that?}
"When one person meets another person, all that is there is respect; they must judge the person by the self that they observe of that person. When two different manifestations of me meet, the one that is two at that moment observes itself and judges what it sees, not what it knows. And since I respect myself, and the basis of how one regards others is upon that first, I regard myself when I am the two that coexist in a favorable light; even though each of the two might individually hate themselves, they cannot hate each other, as there is too much respect there," I explained.
{But the two are really one!}
"Doesn't matter. In that moment, the one (that is me) is really two. As an example, in the same timeframe, I was known as both Prince Lelouch vi Britannia and Earl Lloyd Asplund. I manifested in two places at the same time, because as the former perished along with Humanity, I went back through my own timeline and was born as the latter. The two of me liked each other, even though inwardly each hated herself, and even though they were really the same person, just at different points in their personal timelines, they each regarded the other as a different identity, a different manifestation–or rather, judged each other; 'regarded' is a tad misleading."
{You see? This is what I mean. I cannot comprehend you. It is…awe-inspiring.}
"I am glad you see it that way. But my ki pool is replenished, and I must be going."
{Do as you must.}
"Thank you, Leliel." I opened my eyes for real, and saw in front of me a bright red Angelic core. Taking the Lance in hand, I put my illusions back into place and pierced it. Then I tore myself out of the Angel, limb by limb, leaping out of Leliel's corpse, which was what his shadow had become, and touching down to the ground, where blood-soaked ruptures littered the broken pavement. "Rei! I'm back!" I called out upon opening a link to Unit-00, as she began running to me. She caught me as I collapsed, absolutely exhausted. "I'm back."