A.N. Well it's taken me an age, but I finally got this part done. I can only apologise but in my defence I've had a lot going on, and as much as I hate to admit it real life has to come first. This chapter has been through so many rewrites and edits that it isn't even funny, I have done my best with it and I can only hope that I don't disappoint anyone. I don't think I realised when I started this story how hard it would be to finish it, but with around four more chapters to go at least I'm getting there. Until next time, take care. FB.

Chapter 10

With his spark feeling as if it was trying to fight it's way out of his chest-cavity Sideswipe took his place at the end of the line. Beside him Jazz shifted uneasily, the visored mech didn't seem sure whether he should watch or not as the shuttle made its final approach. Next to the black and white Bluestreak stood watching the skies and rocking Starlight in his arms in an effort to keep both of them calm, and at the far end Sunstreaker mirrored his own posture.

Sideswipe couldn't help thinking that must have looked like a pair of bookends, but the unspoken reason for their positions was far more serious, at the first sign of trouble they would become shields, and do their best to protect the other two.

The red twin had never considered either of his friends weak, granted Bluestreak had his issues, but this time, for the first time in Sideswipe's memory, their main worry was Jazz.

In all the time Sideswipe had known the visored mech Jazz had been the one who dealt with everything that had been thrown at them, and usually found time to help others through their troubles too, but in the last few months the former saboteur had become less resilient, each of his friends had seen it at one point or another, a hesitation here, a mood-swing there, and they were becoming more common.

Jazz had covered his slips well, dismissed his sombre moods, and laughed off his tempers by calling them hissy-fits and saying that they were nothing new, but none of his bravado helped his friends feel any better.

Bluestreak shuffled as the craft came into land, as a group they moved together, wrapping arms around the others in reach and trading glances with those they could not, but none of them spoke, there were no words that could soothe them at that moment.

Though their bond he could feel Sunstreaker's thoughts focus, and he recognised it as a warrior's discipline, a state of awareness that until then had always been reserved for fighting Decepticons. The golden twin was waiting for a threat, a sign that one of his friends needed protecting.

Bluestreak found his lover's vigilance reassuring, they all knew that the meeting would be intense, perhaps even painful, but he was confident that Sunstreaker wouldn't allow things to become too stressful, and if the young mech read things right neither would Sideswipe, so long as he could hold it together.

As the hold doors opened Jazz looked away, and braced himself to run, his processor raced in panic, but he held himself still by sheer force of will.

A gentle hand touched his shoulder. "It's alright Jazz," a familiar voice murmured, as the hand moved to his chin and pulled his head up.

"Wheeljack," Jazz whispered in a tone filled with joy and disbelief. "By Primus, 'Jack," he launched himself into the inventor's arms and held him tight.

"It's going to be alright," Wheeljack reiterated.

As the embrace soothed his frazzled circuits Jazz became aware that it was too quiet, he looked around and saw Hound and Optimus talking softly with Bluestreak and Sunstreaker, but it wasn't until he glanced up towards the shuttle that he realised why there was so little noise. Ratchet hadn't even made it halfway down the disembarking ramp before Sideswipe had caught him in a crushing hug, and started doing his best to kiss the medic senseless.

The sound of deep, rich laughter snapped Jazz's attention over to Optimus. "I guess that explains why Ratchet didn't stop fidgeting the whole way here," the Prime chuckled, when he noticed that the former saboteur was looking at him. "The problem with being a commander is that no one ever tells you anything. How long has this been going on?" he asked with a gesture to the two mechs, who had just realised that they were the centre of attention.

"Only a few hundred years," Sunstreaker informed him dryly. "Didn't you ever wonder why they always fought so much?"

"I assumed that they couldn't stand each other," Optimus replied, his voice still heavy with amusement. "But I should have realised why they kept going back for more."

Jazz chuckled and leant his head on Wheeljack's shoulder, with some of his oldest friends back in his life he was happier than he had been in months, but he also knew that the hardest reunion was yet to come.

Ratchet smiled warmly and glanced at his lover. "It's time," he said apologetically. "But it shouldn't take long."

Sideswipe nodded reluctantly and pulled away. "Let them do their work," he said quietly although everyone present could tell that he didn't want to leave his lover again so soon.

Prowl felt his systems boot-up sluggishly, after what seemed like an eternity his optics came into focus and then he could only stare. The miracles he had hoped for had been realised, he was alive, and looking up into the faceplates of the mech who meant everything to him.

The first thing he noticed was that the bond they had shared for half a lift-time, that to Prowl had always felt like a thread of pure life, and that had given them a window into each others thoughts and feelings, was gone, broken. He felt as if the loss of it might tear him apart, and if the bewildered look on Jazz's faceplates was anything to go by it was worse for his lover.

He had known it would be, but feeling it's loss without the protection the Matrix offered was agony. There was no other way, he told himself sternly. Jazz had to live, and the bond was supposed to keep us together. It felt like a high price to pay for being alive, but with it came a second chance, a new life with the mech he loved and he was sure it would be worth it.

"Jazz," the simple pleasure of saying his lover's name was the answer to his prayers.

Jazz gazed back as if he didn't dare believe what he was seeing, but after a brief hesitation he spoke in a hushed whisper. "I'm sorry."

You're not the one who should be apologising, Prowl thought as he sat up slowly and cupped his lovers face in his hands. "You've done nothing to be sorry for," he assured his lover.

"I wanted to follow you," Jazz continued as if he hadn't heard him. "For us to be together in the Matrix, but when the time came..."

"It wasn't your time," Prowl picked up when Jazz faltered. "You did the right thing."

"Forgive me," Jazz pleaded.

"There's nothing for me to forgive..." Prowl began, more than anything he wanted to make his own apologies, but Jazz cut him off.

"Please," he begged. "Say it and mean it. I promised to be yours forever, but I couldn't keep my word."

And how many broken promises did I leave you with, Prowl thought, but as Jazz's trembling hands touched his he knew that he needed to put his lover's needs first. "There was so much we didn't know then," he said calmly as he wrapped his arms around Jazz. "And you will always be my Jazz, but, as you need to hear it, I forgive you. I forgive you for being the most wonderful, beautiful mech that I have ever met, for being strong enough to carry on without me for the sake of our friends, and for holding on so that I would have someone to come back too."

Even without their bond Prowl could tell that Jazz was fighting for control of his emotions. He couldn't blame his lover for being so close to breaking down, but it was also a huge relief that Jazz did not blame him for everything that happened. There was so much that still needed to be said and done, so much that he didn't even know where to start, but as he heard the med-bay doors open Prowl knew it would have to wait.

He looked up to see Bluestreak shuffling awkwardly by the door and smiled to put the younger mech at ease. "It's good to see you looking so well Bluestreak," he said softly. He was actually impressed that the grey mech wasn't in a similar state to Jazz; Bluestreak had never coped well with being separated from either of them.

Bluestreak seemed unable decide what to say first, gave up and cannonballed into Prowl. Jazz moved over slightly so that he wasn't crushed, but refused point-blank to let go of his lover.

"I'm so glad you're back," Bluestreak grinned. "We've missed you. We've all missed you," the young mech twisted a little and looked over his shoulder to where Sunstreaker was standing.

Prowl hadn't heard the golden twin come in, and the positioning was too perfect. "Bonded?" he whispered, he already knew the answer.

Bluestreak nodded. "And there's more."

Sunstreaker took a few steps forward so that Prowl could see the sparkling in his arms. "This is Starlight."

"By Primus," Prowl gasped. "Oh Blue," he forced himself to steady his emotions, there were so many of them, joy, love, pride, sorrow that he had missed so much and caused the ones he loved so much grief, it was overwhelming. He pulled Jazz closer again. "I never dared... never allowed myself to think beyond the war, of what could happen next. We could have shared so much joy. I'm so sorry Jazz."

Jazz reached up and traced the line of his lover's cheek-plate. "Kiss me," he requested softly. "And make it a good one," he added with the barest hint of one of those smiles that Prowl had always found himself powerless to resist, even if he had wanted to.

Knowing that Jazz trusted actions rather than words Prowl pressed his lips against his lovers in a deep, tender kiss, he poured his spark into the contact, wishing that his bond-mate would be able to sense how deeply sorry he was that Jazz had been forced to stumble on alone through what could have been some of the happiest days of their lives.

"You're forgiven," Jazz whispered when they broke apart. "I love you."

"And I love you Jazz," Prowl responded softly. "You are my life, and I'm nothing without you."

"If they keep this up we're going to need tissues," someone said with an exaggerated sniff, and Prowl looked round to see Sideswipe standing beside Ratchet pretending to wipe his optics. Prowl realised in that moment that Wheeljack, Hound and Optimus Prime were also stood close by.

It seemed that half the Ark were standing around the mad-bay and Prowl, who had never been much for public displays of affection, couldn't help wondering if he had been set up. He was all too aware of how sneaky Jazz could be when he put his processor to it.

He dismissed the thought quickly, it didn't really matter, he was willing to give Jazz anything he could if it went a little way to easing some of the pain he had caused.

The whole mess didn't seem fair. Their time apart hadn't been easy on Prowl either, but he had been part of the Matrix and through the peace he had found there he had been healed.

He realised that Jazz was watching him with some concern and smiled. "I'm fine," he said softly. "Just a little overwhelmed."

Jazz nodded meekly and Prowl worried about how little fight was left in his lover, as if just staying alive had used up all Jazz's considerable determination and strength. Looks like I'll have to be the strong one for a while, Prowl thought. It wasn't unusual for one of them to take the lead when the other was struggling, it was one of the practical attributes of any bond, but it had been a long time since Jazz had needed that sort of support.

"Okay," Ratchet said firmly, "Everybody out. I have things to do."

Prowl reached out a hand and Jazz took it gratefully. A quick glance told him that only Sideswipe hadn't moved. The red mech looked torn, utterly bewildered by Ratchet's manner, but a little reassurance from his twin seemed to bolster his courage and he remained behind as the others filed out.

"He's been waiting for Ratchet for a long time," Sunstreaker informed the crowd. "He won't be coming back out any time soon, and Starlight is about ready for a little recharge, shall we?"

Wheeljack shook his head and looked at Hound. "It's time we were going."

The Prime nodded. "Thank you for everything," he said sincerely.

Jazz picked up on his former commander's tone and looked slightly puzzled. "Going? where?"

Wheeljack nodded to the green scout who until then had been watching them all. "Hound and I are off to find Trailbreaker and Mirage," the engineer said as he extended a hand, but Jazz knocked it aside and hugged him instead.

"Take care 'Jack, and keep in touch," he said warmly.

"Will do," Wheeljack agreed. "So long as you two look after each other."

"Count on it," Prowl nodded.

"I'll walk you and Hound out, Wheeljack," Optimus volunteered. Wheeljack nodded warmly and Prime turned to the others. "As your former commanding officer," he began fondly. "I order all of you to lead long and happy lives."

"Yes Sir," the two black and whites' agreed with accompanying nods from Bluestreak and Sunstreaker, even Starlight chirped happily.

Once Optimus and the others were gone the remaining mechs headed back to their quarters, where Sunstreaker excused himself almost immediately.

Prowl smiled as he looked around. "We've never had so much room," he observed.

"That's pretty much what Sunny said," Bluestreak told him. "But we filled it easy enough."

Prowl looked around, the bright, airy rooms were huge in comparison to the ones he and Jazz had shared aboard the Ark, and in Iacon before that, but Bluestreak was right, they were far from empty. Paintings and photographs adorned the walls, trinkets, book-files and various entertainment discs filled the shelves, one corner was taken up by a music system, another was stacked with Starlight's toys.

"It's amazing," Prowl said softly as he turned to face Jazz. "So full of life."

Jazz shot a very quick glance at Bluestreak, and led Prowl out onto the balcony where his lover was momentarily distracted. "Somehow I doubt that this is what the American government had in mind when they gave us a few square miles of desert to build a home on."

The vista below him was incredible, lush gardens flourished in the courtyards between towering columns and it was clearly thriving.

"Over a hundred 'bots live in Metroplex now and a minimum of twice as many humans are here at any one time, mostly scientists or astronauts," Jazz reported, knowing that his partner would be interested.

"It's amazing," Prowl smiled before his expression became serious again. "But I didn't come out here to see the view. There are things that need to be said, asked and explained, and I do have the answers Jazz. I had over a year in the Matrix to learn."

"What was it like?" Jazz asked curiously.

"Peaceful, calm, the knowledge of the ages flows freely and one of the first things I learned there was the true meaning of words, simple words, the ones we use everyday and take for granted; home, friends, family, love," he hesitated and cupped Jazz' face in his hands. "And I want to share it all with you, but not yet. The Matrix isn't to be feared, it is the haven we imagined but my paradise is right here with you."

Jazz could only stare. "I've can't remember the last time I heard you talk like that," he murmured after a moment.

"It was difficult," Prowl admitted. "Between logic circuits and battle computers there wasn't much room left for emotion. I never loved you with anything less than my whole spark, but being able to show it..."

"You never left me wanting," Jazz interrupted.

"I hope not" Prowl continued, "We both changed for the war, sacrifices and choices that we never should have been forced to make, and that wasn't the life we were supposed to have. I have no regrets, but you deserve better. I made so many promises to you but broke the ones that mattered most. I'm here now to put that right, to give you the life that I should have given you the first time around, and, Primus willing, to see you smile again."

Jazz gave him a slightly bashful but genuine smile, then reached up and pulled his lover down into a tender kiss.

"That's more like it," Prowl said softly as they broke apart.

Inside Bluestreak had tried to find something to do, but the events of the day had left his processor feeling scattered, restless. He needed to talk to Prowl to reassure himself, but he understood that Jazz had to come first. He wanted to see Ratchet, but couldn't bring himself to interrupt a moment that was obviously meant for Sideswipe, and despite his attempts at ignoring his own bond, it felt odd, he couldn't define it, but it almost felt as if Sunstreaker was trying to hide something from him. Deciding that at least that was one thing he could do something about he strode into his quarters.

He wasn't quite sure what he was expecting to find when he walked through the door, but seeing his lover leaning heavily on a wall certainly wasn't one of the options he had considered. "Sunny? What is it?" he asked worriedly. "Do you want me to call Ratchet?"

"Ratchet's busy," Sunstreaker answered as he shook himself and tried to stand straight. "That's kind of the problem."

Bluestreak didn't understand, and his confusion bled through their bond well enough for Sunstreaker to continue without being prompted.

"I'm fine," he assured his young lover. "But Sides and Ratch... well they're bonding and it feels... let's just say it's distracting."

Bluestreak laughed and took his bond-mates hands, which seemed to be enough to break Sunstreaker's restraint. The next thing Bluestreak new he was the one leaning on the wall for support.

A few hours later Sideswipe led Ratchet into the main room of their home, and joined the others who were all sat on the floor and playing with Starlight as they chatted lazily.

"Now isn't that a picture," Ratchet commented fondly.

"Hey Ratch, Sides," Jazz greeted them.

"Sunstreaker tells us that congratulations are in order," Prowl added.

A sudden thought occurred to Bluestreak, and he heard himself saying the words, "Not in the med-bay surely," before he could do anything to stop himself.

"Not that it's any of your business," Ratchet said loudly enough to be heard over the giggles that erupted around him, only Prowl managed to keep a straight face but the way he was avoiding looking at anyone else told Ratchet that he was struggling. "But no. Someone, Magnus I assume, gave me quarters."

If Ratchet had been human Jazz was sure that he would have been blushing, but instead he dropped down, settled himself and pulled Sideswipe down to lean against him with a satisfied hum of his engine.

For a moment the medic lost himself in the wonderful sensation of being so close to his new bond-mate, but when his attention returned to the rest of the room he realised that Bluestreak was regarding him thoughtfully. "What?" he asked, trying not to sound irritated that his moment of bliss had been interrupted.

"I was just thinking," Bluestreak mused, almost as if he was talking to himself. "It seems to me that we've got everything we ever wanted, and I was wondering what we are supposed to do next?"

"Well I reckon that after all the millennia we've put in we're all due a few hundred years vacation," Jazz said cheerfully. "What d'ya think Prowl?"

"That you'd be bored within a month," Prowl responded dryly. "But seeing a bit more of the world while it's not in immediate danger would be nice," the other mechs in the room all got the sense that he was planning something, but before they could question him Ratchet spoke up.

"Well I for one am looking forward to living a much less eventful life than I have for a long time, I may even have to get a hobby."

"Aren't I enough for you?" Sideswipe asked with a cheeky grin.

"You're much more to me than a pass-time," the medic said playfully. "But I can't see you wanting a grumpy, old mech like me under your feet all day, every day."

"At the moment I don't even want to let you out of my sight," Sideswipe said in a sincere tone.

Ratchet's nod was tinged with regret, and he pulled the red twin a little closer. "I'm not going anywhere," he assured him.

Jazz watched the exchange and took comfort in it. Although there had been good points, like Sunstreaker and Bluestreak's bonding and Starlight's creation, the past year had been the hardest of his long life, and he found himself feeling more relaxed than he had in a very long time.

The evening wore on, Ratchet and Sideswipe were the first to disappear to their quarters, and a few minutes later Sunstreaker said a hasty goodnight and retreated. Bluestreak couldn't help grinning as his lover gave him a look that held a little embarrassment but mostly desire, he almost followed the golden twin there and then, but he needed to do something else first.

In another corner of the room Jazz lay curled up against Prowl, he hadn't realised until Jazz had failed to say goodnight to Sunstreaker that Jazz was in recharge, but Prowl was still online.

"He hasn't been recharging properly, has he?" Prowl asked as he approached.

Bluestreak shook his head. "We've all tried to talk to him about it, but... well you know how stubborn he is."

Prowl extended an arm, and mindful of door-wings, they settled down to lean against each other. "It's a good thing he is," Prowl said regretfully. "Or he never would have survived the last few months. I've caused him so much pain that I don't understand how he can bear to look at me."

"He adores you," Bluestreak assured the older mech. "He'd do anything for you."

"I know," Prowl whispered. "He's more than proved that over the vorns."

"But you don't think you have," Bluestreak said slowly as he tried to wrap his processor around the concept. "Prowl, how can you think that? I've known the two of you nearly all my life, and I've never doubted the fact that you love each other more than anything."

"There are things you don't know," Prowl said flatly. "I've treated him badly, made him promises and then broken them, all but torn him apart. I came back to make all that right, but nearly destroyed him in doing so..."

Bluestreak looked alarmed. "You're going to have to explain some of what you just said to me," he said calmly, but with more than a hint of concern in his voice.

"You were with Jazz during the last battle for Cybertron, weren't you? You know that he almost died."

Bluestreak nodded and shuddered, he didn't want to think about what he could have lost that day. "He wasn't badly hurt," he said weakly. "But the plasma energy knocked us all offline, he didn't seem to want to come back."

"He didn't." Prowl confirmed. "He wanted to be with me, but by that time Vector Sigma was already planning our return. Bonds can be broken in the Matrix, I guess it's so that 'bots who've made the wrong choice don't have to spend eternity together, but I didn't have time to explain any of that to him. I needed him to live and the bond was killing him, I did the only thing I could, but I only bought us some time, do you understand? I couldn't undo the damage that had been done. I can only do that here."

For a moment Bluestreak could only stare, he couldn't imagine breaking his own bond, and the knowledge that Prowl had done such a thing shook him to the core. "Does Jazz know any of this?" he asked hesitantly.

"I think so," Prowl answered. "He hasn't said anything, but then Jazz doesn't often ask unnecessary questions."

"What will you do?"

"If I had my way we'd take a few years to fall in love all over again, but Jazz doesn't have that kind of time. I hope that you will forgive us but we need to be selfish for while, we need to focus on each other and you know what Jazz is like; he may love me with all that he is but it would only take something bright or loud to distract him." he said with a fond smile to his slumbering lover. "I promise you that I can help him, but the only way I can think of is to take him on the vacation he mentioned earlier."

"You're leaving?" Bluestreak realised. "When?"

"In the morning," Prowl said as he gently ran a finger down Jazz's cheek. "I know the last thing you want right now is for us to leave, that you need us, but we need each other more, do you understand?"

"I do," Bluestreak nodded. "I wouldn't have a year ago, but I've learnt a lot in that year. Sunny's my world, there's nothing I would do for him, and that's how it is with you and Jazz, isn't it? Two mech's, one life."

Prowl smiled, he was amazed by how much Bluestreak seemed to have matured during their time apart. Technically Bluestreak hadn't been a youngling for some time although that hadn't stopped Prowl from affectionately thinking of him as one, but it usually took vorns to go through the transformation that Bluestreak had managed in a little over a year. "I'll take good care of Jazz," he assured Bluestreak.

"I know," the younger mech said as he returned the smile. "You will keep in touch, won't you?"

"Do you think it's possible to deprive Jazz of his gossip?" Prowl asked dryly. "We'll both call in every few days, you have my word on that, but in the mean time I think I should be getting Jazz to his berth."

"Do you need any help?"

Prowl shook his head. "I've been doing this for a long time. Jazz always could recharge anywhere."

"So long as you're around," Bluestreak added.

With an ease that came from vorns of practice Prowl scooped Jazz up into his arms and picked his way across the room, Bluestreak followed as far as the door to the berth-chamber and watched as Prowl gently lay Jazz down on the recharge-pad. The tenderness in Prowl's actions warmed his spark and reassured him. "We should have known that you'd be back," he said in a soft whisper. "The two of you being apart never seemed right."

"Maybe this was just the way it had to be," Prowl ventured, but he quickly realised that he had to clarify his words when Bluestreak's expression became rather confused, and he quickly recrossed the room so that he wouldn't have to raise his voice. "Jazz and I weren't built to be warriors, we learnt the lessons of war the hard way, and it took a toll on both of us. We became accustomed to the violence, as terrible as it sounds at times we even enjoyed it, and maybe, just maybe, one of us had to go into the Matrix to learn what peace really meant so that he could come back and teach the other."

With a thoughtful nod Bluestreak said a quiet, "Goodnight," and headed off to his own rooms.

Prowl watched him go before he turned back to the berth and was surprised to see Jazz's visor glowing faintly. "Do you really think that's why?" Jazz asked.

"It's the only reason I can come up with," Prowl answered. "Maybe there is no reason, but I have to try to find one."

Jazz smiled softly, "It's good to know that you haven't changed," he whispered. "You look like you're not sure if you should stay or not."

Realising that he was standing more or less in the centre of the room Prowl couldn't help but agree, "I didn't want you to think I was being pushy."

"I don't think I've got the energy for anything other than recharging but I don't want you to go," Jazz said tiredly.

Prowl was grateful that his love had been so clear. He couldn't help feeling a little disappointed, but he reminded himself once more that Jazz needed time to readjust and couldn't help being thankful that Jazz was one of the most adaptable mechs he had ever met. "I love you," he said softly as he settled himself on the berth. "And I'm never leaving you again."

"I love you too," Jazz whispered as he shuffled closer and they embraced.

Recharge reclaimed Jazz quickly, but Prowl remained online for a little while just watching the mech in his arms and feeling more content than he had in an age.