AUTHOR'S NOTE:
All right now we're getting into the romance and the secrets and as it progresses I really do think it gets better.
WARNING: Rated "M" for Sex, Language, Dirty Thoughts, Innuendo, Blood, Violence and Dark Themes.
xxxx
"Oh my God I'm fine." I told them as I sat up in the hospital bed. "Stop babying me—you're enjoying torturing me and I can't believe you're letting him do it, Sammy."
Sam shrugged and smiled at me as Dean started to annoy me again with the spoon in the pudding. I didn't need to be fed and he knew it, but the three of us were kind of bored just sitting there waiting for the nurse to come back and tell me I was fit to leave. When Dean came at me with the 'helicopter spoon' again I smacked his arm and laughed when some of the pudding got upset and landed on his shirt.
"Oops…my bad." I said with a laugh.
Dean gave me a look. "You did that on purpose."
"I did no such thing, stop blaming the wounded." I replied, a grin on my face.
Dean smiled a little and then the doctor came in and told me I was free to go and so I shooed the boys out of the room and got dressed, all of us heading to the motel and then settling in and bonding some more. The three of us felt like a family and even though Dean and I still had yet to talk about anything regarding my verbal vomit, it felt nice to be close to him and Sam. Then it happened…a visit from the past that I hadn't wanted to involve the boys in—especially since I'd been lying and now they were going to know about it.
"Chelsea?" I asked into the phone.
"Well, well, well. If it isn't Little Lana." Chelsea said with playfulness in her voice.
"Wow. I didn't think I'd ever hear your voice again." I told her, and it was true—no matter what it was that I was lying about, I hadn't expected her to contact me ever again.
Chelsea laughed. "Well I never thought I'd try and help you."
"What's this about?" I asked her, looking around outside of the motel to make sure that Sam and Dean weren't around to ask me what was going on.
"This is about me showing you and Jennifer that I wasn't just something you two could push around—I have brains, brawn, and I know all about your little bonding with the Winchesters, and the man who can help you put your parents' souls at rest and the death of Jen's last boyfriend—it just comes at a price." She explained to me.
The only thing weirder than Chelsea calling me out of the blue was Chelsea calling me to barter away information. Knowing Chelsea and what she was capable of, I just took a deep breath and rubbed my temples and decided to play her little game with her. The only thing holding me back was how deep the involvement with Sam and Dean could potentially get and how much of a threat she could be to them.
"I thought it would." I told her finally when she made an annoyed noise at my silence. "What kind of price?"
"I want Dean Winchester." She said without skipping a beat.
I froze suddenly. "What?"
"That or his younger brother, Sam. Unless…you or Jen would rather sacrifice yourselves." Chelsea added with a little hope in her voice.
"Of course I'm going to sacrifice myself." I told her quickly, swallowing a little. "No questions asked."
"What?" I heard Dean say.
I turned around and shushed him by putting my finger to my mouth and he gave me a look and I knew we'd be talking about this soon. It wasn't that I didn't want to somehow tell them 'goodbye', it was just that I didn't want them making a big deal about things and babying me. They seemed to be doing that a lot lately and this was just going to make them baby me more.
"Just tell me where I need to meet you, and I'll come alone and unarmed so you can sacrifice me or whatever." I told her and Dean gave me a concerned look.
"Alley behind the church. Tomorrow night. Better show or I'll take someone precious to you." Chelsea explained to me.
Before I could say anything, Chelsea hung up and I turned to Dean and sighed as I pocketed my cell phone and he started to talk to me. He hated that I was being secretive and when I said it was just a joke between Jen and I and I needed to go see her, he saw right through my lie. Then he was even more upset that I was lying to him when he and Sam could help me with whatever it was that I was hiding from them.
"You're not sacrificing yourself." Dean told me firmly.
I took a deep breath. "I don't think that you get to tell me what I can and can't do."
Dean was rather upset that I would even say something like that to him and in a huff he was back in the motel room and I was sighing because this wasn't his fault and I had no right to take anything out on him. So I followed him into the motel room and he sat in a huff on the bed, me and Sam making direct eye contact and him nodding. He and I always seemed to be on the exact same page, and I smiled at him when he kissed the top of my head and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, leaving the motel room.
I took that moment to climb onto the bed with Dean and he gave me a look so I kissed him and when he didn't respond, I pulled away and pouted a little. He narrowed his eyes a little at the emotional manipulation, but when I kissed him this time, he returned it, his hand going into my hair. I wanted more than anything for him to just talk to me about my little outburst but I wasn't going to force anything on him—I wanted Dean Winchester to come around in his own time anyway.
"Sam gave us some space…" I whispered as Dean bit the hollow of my neck softly making me smile and moan softly.
Dean nodded and kissed the bite mark. "I caught the look between the two of you."
"Oh, so you're not completely brain dead and oblivious then?" I asked him, giggling when he rolled his eyes at me and in one quick movement pinned me to the bed.
"You mind telling me what that phone conversation was about?" Dean asked me.
I shook my head and sat up a little, pulling off my shirt and wishing that would be enough for us to move on but Dean was stubborn and he wasn't letting it go. Even when I kissed him and he kissed me back, the moment we pulled away for air he asked me the same question and I sighed. It wasn't something I wanted to talk about or come clean about and if these were our last intimate moments together, I wanted some damn action.
"I think we can talk later." I told him.
He shook his head. "We're not having sex until you explain the phone call."
I nodded and then gave him a look, and he nodded too and got off of me. When I grabbed my shirt from the floor where it had been tossed and went to put it on, Dean told me I was being selfish and that wasn't what family was about. The notion that he thought of me as family almost made me tell him, but when I turned around he had already dialed Sam to get him to come back so I just sighed and dropped it, ending up sleeping in Sam's bed that night because Dean was upset.
I couldn't blame him, and it was those thoughts that made me have trouble falling asleep that night. When I woke up the next morning, I stretched and then saw that Dean wasn't on his bed and I turned to look at Sam. I smiled at him and pushed his hair out of his face—he was so adorable when he slept. As he stirred I returned to the feeling that something was definitely wrong, and I got up and went to the door, looking at how it seemed precarious even though it looked fine—then I saw the note. I saw the note and suddenly everything was wrong and I started to panic. The note read:
Dean's with me. Show up before he learns the
truth—unless you don't mind him learning
about your little secrets…
I showed Sam the note and sighed. "I don't have any idea why the two of you even tolerate me in the first place."
"What is going on here, Lan?" Sam asked me.
I took a deep breath. "It's the return of my past."
I knew that he wanted more than that, but I was already grabbing my jacket and then raising an eyebrow at Chelsea calling me. She was bored that I hadn't been there sooner and when I explained I was just about to head to a library and a store to get some information and some things to do a spell to track her down, she told me it was more fun for her if I just showed up. So I hurried to the coordinates that she had given me and I swallowed when Sam said my name in an annoyed tone and gave me a look.
"Chelsea?" Sam asked me.
"My name sounds so much hotter when little Sammy Winchester says it." Chelsea said, licking her fangs.
Sam shot her a look. "Don't call me that."
"Oh, I forgot—only your brother and your little girl friend can call you that. Lana, Lana, Lana I thought you'd be here sooner." Chelsea mocked me with a laugh.
"Well you called—didn't that defeat the purpose of watching us squirm to get to you?" I asked her.
When I gave her a look and laughed she didn't look as amused and made a sudden movement that I wasn't ready to anticipate. Chelsea grabbed my throat, and though I could tell that Dean wanted to cry out and get her to let me go, a sound never escaped his lips and with one move she had tossed Sam away from us. I squirmed a little and then looked her in the eye as she looked at me angrily.
"I'm going to kill you and then Dean, and possibly leave Sam alive for my own pleasure." Chelsea said, winking at Sam who looked disgusted. "You people are way too good at killing demons."
"Let her go!" Sam said, hitting Chelsea when he got back over to us.
She flinched a little, but her vampire strength and her ability to read minds was the only thing that kept her on her feet. I watched her as she gave him a look and then she turned to Dean and smiled. It annoyed me that she was smiling at him like she knew so much and the problem was she did…she knew so much that could threaten our already fragile right now balance of things.
"Dean and I had a little chat about things while you two weren't here." Chelsea said and shrugged, tightening her grip around my throat a little. "He's a little pissed that someone—I'm not naming names—didn't tell him the truth about me."
I tried to swallow. "You mean about how Jenny and I stupidly let you get exposed?"
"Yeah…how you and Jennifer get people you care about killed." Chelsea explained.
"I don't understand why you didn't tell me, Lanni." Dean told me, hurt in his voice and he wasn't even trying to mask it as Chelsea moved the hair away from my neck, licking my skin so she could bite me.
Sam seemed hurt about it too and I kicked a little and Chelsea smiled at me, glad that she had managed to put a wedge in between me and the boys. It was rather annoying too that neither of them was making a move towards me, not because they didn't care, but because they were still a little stunned that I kept such a vital secret. Honestly the secret could have gotten us all killed and I was feeling bad enough about it, but it was worse when Chelsea grinned, and ran her incisors along my flesh. Right when she was about to bite me Sam finally moved towards us and stabbed her through the heart with a stake I had given him before we came in, and she screamed, making me double forward to get her voice out of my ear, and then I turned to see her burst into ashes right in front of me.
"That's not the end of her…" I said softly.
"That is an odd way for a vampire to die, but," Sam turned to give me a look, "are you kidding me?"
"Chelsea…she has tricks up her sleeves." I told him and then went to untie Dean, who pulled away from me and I nodded slowly. "We should get back to the motel and I need to call Jenny and let her know what's up."
"Maybe you should just go back to Kansas." Dean spat at me hostilely and then headed out of the warehouse and Sam looked at me sadly.
I knew that he didn't want me to leave and he told me to give him and Dean a little time, but that he didn't want me to just take off. Truth was I knew Chelsea would be back, and I knew this was not the time to leave them so I just decided to go ahead and go back to the motel, even though Dean wasn't talking to me. Oh well…I was sticking around to help them and to let them know that they were still my family and in fact in a little over a week later as the three of us accepted that we were going to be a team even though Dean still had yet to even speak to me. It was mostly me and Sam doing the bonding and it was the two of us that got wind of a hunt and told Dean so we headed to a young woman named Meredith's building.
"Manhunt continues for Stealth Killer—second murder in 2 months." Sam said while Dean got a bag out of the trunk.
I fixed the ridiculous "Pierce-Franklin Alarm Systems" outfit I was wearing that the boys were outfitted with as well and sighed. It wasn't that I didn't like dressing up to lie—that was my favorite part, dressing up—it was that I felt like my time could be better spent doing more research while Sam and Dean actually looked around inside, but they were babying me. They were worried that without them around to protect me I couldn't handle myself or something and that bothered me…it bothered me a lot—I could take care of myself no matter how "sweet" the gesture of protection was.
Mostly, though, I got the feeling that they just didn't trust me on my own anymore.
Even so, we got into the apartment because the landlady believed our story, and after closing the apartment door, Dean noticed the security chain was cut. Dean explained to the lady that we were just seeing what was wrong so we could stop it from happening again. Then Sam asked the hard questions—like if she was the one who found the body—and she explained to us that she had, and that it had been a few days after she had died…she had been alerted by the smell.
To make things more exciting, the windows weren't broken, the door was bolted and the security chain was on the door since they had to cut it to get in to retrieve the body. Moreover, the alarm was on, and there had been absolutely no sign of struggle at all when the policemen and investigators had been searching things.
"Everything was in perfect condition…except Meredith." She explained to us.
Sam nodded slowly. "In what condition was Meredith then?"
"Meredith was all over, in pieces. The guy who killed her must have been some kind of whack job. But I tell you, if I didn't know any better, I would have said a wild animal did it." She told him.
We gave the apartment a once-over without her and found some EMF residue which honestly got me incredibly excited. It wasn't people dying or anything—it was the exhilaration of a hunt and the satisfaction of stopping something and saving lives. Now we just had to figure out what exactly we were dealing with so we could research it a little more and stop it before it struck again so we headed to the police station and Sam and I waited out in the car.
"I wish he'd look at me." I told Sam, who nodded and gave me a small smile as Dean came back out to the car.
"You say you talked to the cops?" Sam asked him.
"Huh…yeah, I spoke to Amy, the charming perky officer of the law." Dean said with a grin on his face.
Sam nodded to prompt Dean continue. "Yeah? What did you find out?"
"She's a Sagittarius, she loves tequila, I mean…" He sighed happily and smiled a little more when I scoffed. "…and she's got that little tattoo…"
"Dean!" Sam and I scolded him.
"What? Yeah…huh, nothing we don't already know. Except for one thing they're keeping out of the papers." Dean told us and we both gave him looks and he was no longer having fun with his game. "Meredith's heart was missing."
I nodded and pointed at the shape of blood on the pictures. "Well it's not a werewolf—the lunar cycle is not right. Plus, if it was a creature, it would've left some kind of trace. It's probably a spirit…what the Hell is that symbol?"
None of us knew and so we headed to a bar and Sam let me look over John's journal while I looked things up on my laptop, Dean at the bar flirting. I knew that I deserved his not trusting me, but it was driving me crazy seeing him hitting on random girls. It was too much to ask for him to talk it out with me—or even just yell at me—and I knew I was going to have to deal with it but we were also doing a goddamn heart and he was my freaking Winchester! Oh God…no more confessions, Lana…stop…
"I talked to the bartender." Dean told us when he came to rejoin us, a napkin in hand.
Sam nodded. "Did you get anything, besides her number?"
"Dude, I'm a professional, I'm offended that you would think that." Dean told us but we weren't convinced or impressed. "All right, here." He said proudly, showing us the napkin, making sure I saw it.
"Would you mind doing a little bit of thinking with your upstairs brain, Dean?" I asked him. "You could at least pretend that you're taking this seriously."
He seemed amused that I was so upset and smirked a little. "There's nothing to find out: Meredith worked here, she waited tables, everyone here's her friend, everybody says she's normal. She didn't do or say anything weird before she died. So, what about that symbol? Did you find anything?"
"No, nothing. Nowhere in Dad's journal or in the usual books, I just have to dig a little deeper I guess, but with Lan's help I'll get there." Sam explained.
It was apparently Dean's turn to scoff and I rolled my eyes when he made a joke about how Sam and I were just the perfect team, and then I sighed loudly when Dean wiggled his eyebrows at us. Sam cut into the tension between us by mentioning the first victim, Ben Swardstrom, which was good because otherwise I could not have been held responsible for my violence towards Dean. Basically a month prior, he was found mutilated in his house which was locked with the alarm on and Sam still didn't know the link between the banker and the waitress cause so far they had nothing in common.
"To recap, the only successful intel we've scored so far is the bartender's phone number." Dean replied in a cheeky tone.
I was going to react to him but I caught Sam's gaze and noticed the blonde that he was looking at. He stood up as she made her way over to him and apparently her name was Meg and they knew each other and he asked her why she wasn't still in California. Mostly I was worried because she had a weird aura about her and I wasn't impressed at all by her…I was worried about the potential danger to the boys she could present—blame my instincts.
"Oh, I came, I saw, I conquered. Oh, and I met…what's his name… something Malcolm Murray, at a bar." She told him with a smile.
Dean was surprised by her "The Ballad of Malcolm Murray" reference, and then Sam asked her if she was from Chicago, she informed him that she was from Andover, Massachusetts. Sam nodded and Dean got a little antsy about being in the conversation and cleared his throat so that his brother would realize that he was in need of attention. The action made me smack Dean in the arm and at the same time Meg reacted and Sam turned to face Dean and me.
"Dude, cover your mouth!" Meg told Dean.
"Meg, this is my brother Dean and next to him is Lana…pretty much the same as before only deeper in." Sam explained and blushed a little.
Meg nodded slowly. "So you're Lana? I guess your feelings for Dean are more than just slight now?"
I was shocked but Dean was flattered and asked, "So you heard of me?"
"I heard of you. Nice, the way you treat your brother like luggage." She told him angrily.
"Sorry?" He asked her, confused and no longer smiling.
She nodded. "Why don't you let him do what he wants to do? Stop dragging him over God's Green Earth."
"Meg, it's alright." Sam told her.
Dean nodded slowly and whistled. "Okay, awkward. I'm gonna get a drink now."
He gave Sam a look and I smiled awkwardly and told her it was nice to meet her before I followed after Dean and sat next to him at the bar. For just then he seemed less angry with me because of how Meg had reacted to him and I sighed a little and I reached out to grasp his hand and was surprised he actually let me touch him. A slight smile spread across my face and when he looked up at me and made actual, direct eye contact I felt even better about things.
"What kind of terrible things do you think he told her about me?" Dean asked me.
I shrugged and smiled a little. "You're his big brother and he looks up to you…I highly doubt he just bad mouthed you the whole time he was with her. I'm more worried about the fact that he blabbed all about my feelings for you at a time when I was pretending I didn't have them. How did Sam even know?"
"I thought you were supposed to be the observational one." Dean told me with a laugh.
I pushed him in the arm hard and then we saw Sam making his way back over to us and we headed out of the bar and Dean asked Sam how he knew Meg and Sam sighed. He knew what I knew—Dean was pissed that Sam would say something bad about him behind his back and I wanted to know what she knew too. Sam explained that he met her right after he and Dean fought in Indiana—during the time period when he wasn't calling me or returning my calls.
"I think there's something strange going on here, guys." Sam explained to us.
Dean nodded. "Yeah, tell me about it, she wasn't even that into me."
"No, man. I mean, like our kind of strange, like maybe even a lead." Sam said when I smacked Dean upside the head and he grabbed my hand.
"Dean!" I chastised when he grabbed my other one too. "Let go!"
"Why would you say that?" Dean asked Sam, holding my hands behind my back and still walking me out to the car.
Sam chuckled a little when I squirmed. "I met Meg weeks ago, literally on the side of the road and now I run into her in some random Chicago bar. I mean the same bar where a waitress was slaughtered by something supernatural. You don't think that's a little weird?"
"I don't know: random coincidence. It happens." Dean replied.
"You let me go right now or I'm kicking you where it hurts." I threatened and Dean chuckled and kept his hold. "What? You don't think I will?"
Dean shook his head. "Nope…you're not going to hurt my cargo."
I sighed because he was right. "Please just let go."
"I'm looking for an apology for assaulting my head." Dean explained to me.
"Well you're not getting one." I told him and sighed because he was still holding my hands behind my back.
"Guys, focus, please, all right. Coincidences don't happen to us. I could be wrong; I'm just saying there's something about that girl that I can't put my finger on." Sam said and then pushed on Dean. "Let her go."
Dean sighed and nodded letting go of my hands and shooting me a warning glance when I smacked him arm. Sam rolled his eyes and shook his head, calling us children, and then Dean smirked at his brother and it was my turn to roll my eyes. Maybe I was acting like a child but Dean and I needed to have an actual conversation and he wasn't going to give it to me unless I pushed him for one and I didn't want to push! Why was liking him so goddamn hard?
"I bet you'd like to put a finger on it. Maybe she's not a suspect, maybe you've got a thing for her, maybe you think a little too much with the upstairs brain, huh?" Dean asked his brother, raising his eyebrows playfully and pointing down at Sam's crotch.
"Do me a favor: check and see if there's really a Meg Marsters from Andover, Massachusetts, and see if you can dig anything up on that symbol on Meredith's floor." Sam told us and I nodded.
Dean made a face. "What are you gonna do?"
"I'm gonna watch Meg." Sam replied with a shrug.
Dean chuckled. "Ah, ah, yeah, you are…"
"I'll try to see what's what…better safe than sorry." Sam explained to him.
"Alright, you little pervert." Dean said and I couldn't help but crack a smile.
Sam left Dean and me in the motel and we started to research as Sam took the Impala to go and check on Meg, and it was pretty easy to look up Meg Marsters—the woman really existed. Dean found the information on her while I looked up the symbol and showed it to him, him nodding, but not really smiling at me…just smiling that we had the information in front of us. So then he picked up his phone and called up Sam, teasing him about his way of showing affection and after I smacked him playfully and he grabbed my hand I swallowed…our fingers interlaced and he just held my hand in his lap.
"Yeah, Lanni found the symbol—it's a Zoroastrian symbol…I'll let her tell you about it." Dean said, and handed me the phone, still holding my hand with his other one and looking at me.
I blushed a little and put the phone up to my ear with my free hand. "Hey, Sammy. Um…the symbol is actually used to summon a kind of demon of darkness called Daeva whose origin goes back to 2000 BC and nobody knows its real appearance. They're really savage and from what I've found, the demon must be summoned so somebody's controlling it, Sam—somebody who really knows his stuff."
"All right…well…I'll keep my eye out." Sam told me.
"Sounds like a plan—hey, your brother is making annoying hand gestures so uh…here he is again." I told Sam with a laugh and gave Dean the phone as Sam chuckled too.
"Why don't you go give her a private strip-o-gram? No, but bite her—not too hard though that would leave a mar—Sam? Sammy?" Dean asked and then chuckled, Sam obviously having hung up on him.
I laughed a little and then randomly reached out to stroke Dean's hair. He turned to me and leaned in a little and I wished he wasn't still holding my hand in his lap because he was kind of starting to take my breath away. When I swallowed he glanced at my lips and smirked at me, then he let go of my hand and stood up to go to his duffle and I made a face. Had he seriously just done that? Left me hanging completely after making it look like he was going to kiss me?
"Are we ever going to talk about any of this?" I asked him suddenly even though I knew it wasn't the time.
Dean chuckled a little. "I think we pretty much talked about the symbol already—and how that Meg chick has no idea what she's talking about."
"I meant about how I feel about you, Idiot." I told him rolling my eyes. "I mean are you even going to acknowledge it?"
"No…because feelings are a weakness and they could get us killed." Dean replied and then he slowly turned to look at me as I nodded. "Come on, Lanni, don't look so down—what did you want me to say? Did you want me to ask you to be my girlfriend? Promise not to hit on any other girls and commit to you? If any demon caught wind of how much you meant to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally."
I got what he was saying and I wanted to be really upset but then I went over what he had said: "If any demon caught wind of how much you meant to me, we'd both have Hell to pay—literally". That meant that Dean had feelings for me—he was suppressing them, but he had them and even if he hadn't realized he'd said it, they were there. It annoyed me that he wouldn't just admit it and maybe stop glancing at me and then looking away, but I promised I wouldn't push…I promised that I would give him his space and be professional and so I had to keep my promise.
"I was having some negative vibes earlier with Meg…do you think that maybe she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked Dean with a shrug, trying to change the subject. "I mean Sam also thinks something is wrong…that something is up with her."
Dean looked at me. "Why didn't you tell me you were getting bad vibes from her sooner?"
"Because in all honesty I was getting bad vibes from the bartender but do you really think she has something to do with the symbol?" I asked him.
Dean took a deep breath and then he nodded, opening his mouth to say something but then deciding against it and then Sam came running in the door. We were going to have a heart-heart because I was going to say something to him that I thought needed to be said, but the look on Sam's face made me rethink everything. I had to focus on the mission at hand and Sam looked like he had some information for us so Dean and I focused every bit of our attention on him.
"I gotta talk to you!" Sam exclaimed. "That symbol? Meg had an altar with that symbol on it and she was communicating with someone."
"With who? With the Daeva?" Dean asked him.
Sam shook his head. "No, you said those things were savages. No, this is something different; someone is giving her orders, someone who's coming to that warehouse."
"Well Dean called Amy earlier and found out that both of the victims were from Lawrence…so we all kind of fit the bill on this one." I explained to him.
"What if she has something to do with whatever killed Mom?" Sam asked us.
I bit my lip. "Guys this feels like something big so I think we should stick together on this. Normally I would support splitting up—questioning Meg and taking out that altar of hers but…what if something bad happens?"
"I have to agree with Lanni when she puts it like that…I don't think we should do this alone." Dean agreed.
I saw the look in his eyes and I swallowed reaching out and grasping his hand while Sam grabbed a duffle and put some things in it. Dean opened up his phone and dialed his father's number and I smiled a little when he grasped my hand and looked at me as it rang. Then it was obvious that it went to his voicemail and though Dean looked mighty crestfallen, he just left a message.
"We think that we've got a serious lead on the thing that killed Mom so, this warehouse, its 1435 West Erie. Dad, if you get this, get to Chicago as soon as you can." Dean explained, and then hung up the phone and pocketed it.
Sam came back into the room and shrugged a little at his collection of warfare. "I'm not sure what to expect so I guess we should just expect everything, huh?"
We started to get all of the weapons put together, and I couldn't help but wonder how I was going to fit into their lives if we killed the demon that killed their mother. That was all that John had ever wanted according to Dean, and honestly I wasn't sure Sam would stick around after this—Sam wanted a normal life someday…he didn't want to hunt forever. Dean on the other hand…Dean was the one I had no idea about because as sure as I was that he'd keep hunting, he was full of surprises still.
"Big night." Dean said suddenly and I looked up and smiled as they spoke to one another.
"Yeah. Nervous?" Sam asked him.
Dean shook his head. "No, no. Are you?"
"No, no way. Yeah, could you imagine if we actually found that damn thing, that demon?" Sam asked him a little excited.
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, alright?" Dean told him.
Sam nodded. "I know, I'm just saying, what if we did? What if this whole thing was over tonight? Man, I'd sleep for a month, go back to school—just be a person again."
"You wanna go back to school?" Dean asked him.
Sam and I both looked at him and I knew that there was going to be a small sort of row and I didn't think I should be in the room for it. Part of me wanted to stay and hear what was going to be said but it didn't feel like it was any of my business so I wanted to give them their space. This was their problem and it had absolutely nothing to do with me even if they sometimes called me their family.
"Yeah, once we're done hunting the thing." Sam said with a nod.
"Huh..." Dean replied.
Sam gave him another look. "Why? Is there something wrong with that?"
"No, no, it's great, good for you." Dean told him and it didn't sound so sincere.
"I mean, what are you gonna do when it's all over?" Sam asked him as I started to cross to leave the room.
Dean shrugged a little. "It's never gonna be over, there's gonna be others so there'll always be something to hunt."
"But there's gotta be something that you want for yourself." Sam said as I made it to the bathroom door.
"I don't want you to leave the second this is over, Sam!" Dean answered as I turned the doorknob, and I watched Dean head over to the chest of drawers and lean on it as I went into the bathroom and closed the door behind me, still listening through it.
It was a moment between them I shouldn't have been a part of and I wanted to let them talk things out amongst themselves. Whether we were bonded to each other or not, they were brothers and this was their fight, and it wasn't my place to be in between them. So I simply listened to them because I was curious, but I was keeping my two cents to myself on this one.
"Dude, what's your problem?" Sam asked him.
"Why do you think I drag you everywhere, huh? Why do you think I came and got you at Stanford in the first place?" Dean countered.
There was a pause. "'Cause Dad was in trouble, 'cause he wanted to find the thing that killed Mom."
"Yes, that, but it's more than that, man. You and me, and Dad, I want us to…I want us to be together again—I want us to be a family again." Dean explained to him and I found the tears forming. "Hell I even want Lanni to be there with us."
I hadn't expected the last part and I perked my ears up…had he really just said that? Was I really so important to him that he considered me part of their family? And was that even a thing to get so excited about?
"Dean, we are a family. I'd do anything for you but things will never be the way they were before." Sam told him.
"They could be…" Dean said, and he actually sounded hopeful.
"I don't want them to be. I'm not gonna live this life forever. Dean, when this is all over, you're gonna have to let me go my own way." Sam replied after another pause. "And if you really want to keep Lan around, you're going to have to talk to her…you're going to have to let her in."
There was then silence between them, so after a few more moments I came out of the bathroom to go back to what I was doing and they simply glanced at me and then went back to what they had been doing as well. The talk seemed mostly out of their systems now, and so we finished up and went to the warehouse to see Meg and she was reciting incantations. Dean asked her where the Daeva was and Sam asked her who she was waiting for, and after telling us that weapons wouldn't harm the Daeva, she told us she'd been waiting for us and the Daeva appeared and attacked us.
If I haven't mentioned lately how much I hate being rendered unconscious and tied up…I have to mention it now. I came too after Dean did, and a little before Sam and realized I was bleeding just a little bit—bleeding again. Mostly I was worried about the boys though, and thinking about trusting my instincts just a little more since Meg actually was bad news…since we were totally screwed since all three of us were now caught and bound up.
"Hey Sam, don't take this the wrong way but your girlfriend is a bitch." Dean told Sam when Sam came to.
Sam nodded slowly. "Yes, the whole thing was a trap. Running into you at the bar, following you here. Hearing what you had to say. It was all set up wasn't it? And that the victims were from Lawrence…"
"Doesn't mean anything. It was just to draw you in, that's all." Meg replied and looked at me. "I expected you to figure it out sooner what with all of your little combined talents."
"You killed those 2 people for nothing?" Dean asked her after he glanced at me because of what Meg said.
Meg shrugged a little, still looking at me. "Maybe—I've killed a lot more for a lot less."
I didn't like the way she was looking at me and neither did Dean or Sam, but what worried me the most was that she acted like she knew things about me—things about me that I didn't want anyone to know until I was ready to tell them. Dean was being cheeky, and Sam had things figured out, and I was starting to think that Meg was going to spill everything and I couldn't have that.
"You trapped us, good for you. It's "Miller time", why don't you kill us already?" Dean asked her.
Meg looked at Dean finally. "Not very quick on the uptake, are we? This trap isn't for you."
"Dad. It's a trap for Dad." Sam said out loud.
Dean scoffed at her. "Oh sweetheart, you're dumber than you look, 'cause even if Dad was in town, which he is not, he wouldn't walk into something like this, he's too good."
"He's pretty good, I'll give you that, but, you see," She told him, getting closer to him and it was making me annoyed with her even more, "he has one weakness."
"What's that?" Dean asked her with attitude.
I spoke up. "You and Sam. Whether he answers your calls or not, he's your father and you're his boys and if he thinks this will avenge Mary, he's gonna show."
Meg smiled. "You're smarter than I pegged you for, Lana—on top of that I happen to know he is in town and he'll come and try to save you and then the Daevas will kill everybody. Nice and slow and messy."
"Well, I've got news for you: it's gonna take a lot more than some shadow to kill him." Dean told her firmly.
"Oh, the Daevas are in the room here, they're invisible; their shadows are just the only part you can see." Meg explained.
I looked around and I swallowed a little, wishing I didn't feel as helpless as I did right then, and then Sam spoke up and I looked at him. He and Dean were worried about John, and I knew that if we could figure something out then we could get out of this mess alive. So I tried to get out of my restraints without alerting Meg as she smiled at Sam.
"Why are you doing this, Meg? What kind of deal have you got worked out here, huh? And with who?" Sam asked her firmly.
Meg shrugged a little. "I'm doing this for the same reasons you do what you do: loyalty, love, like the love you have for Mommy…and Jess."
"Go to Hell." Sam told her when she mentioned Jessica.
"Baby, I'm already there." Meg replied.
I watched as she got closer to Sam and told him that she knew how he felt about her—that she knew he had watched her changing. It was kind of disturbing to watch her hit on Sam so strongly like that and then I noticed that Dean was trying to cut through his ropes and I wished I felt naked without a knife too. In fact I really wanted to be out of the room when Sam started to kind of hit on her back and she heard Dean's knife and headed over to him, taking his knife and throwing it away.
"Are you just trying to distract me while your brother gets free?" She asked Sam.
Sam shook his head. "No, no, it's because I have a knife of my own."
He pushed her back from him and Dean told him to go and take care of the altar, leaving me to close my eyes and focus as the Daevas appeared again and took Meg, sending her flying out the window. I got out of my restraints before Dean made it over to me and then we went to the window to see Meg's body sprawled out on the street. Dean wanted to ask me how I got out of my restraints with no knife or anything, but it wasn't the time or place for that conversation, so we all headed back to the motel instead, Sam still holding the bag containing the different weapons. When we entered the room there was a figure standing in front of the window and when he turned I knew I went pale—he was the man from my dreams…the man that Bethany and Marcus had been telling me to find.
"Dad!" Dean said, and I had to do a double take when I realized that the man I was supposed to find was in fact Sam and Dean's father, John Winchester…and Dean looked so happy to be in the same room with him.
"Hey boys." He answered before embracing Dean when Dean headed over to him, and then he looked at Sam. "Hi Sam."
"Hey Dad." He told him before putting down his bag.
Then John looked at me when Dean apologized for not knowing it was a trap and I swallowed because the look he gave me reminded me of the look Meg had given me—somehow he knew who I was but I'd never seen him before…not before my dreams anyway. Dean and Sam noticed the look and then Dean piped in and told him that I was Lana, their hunting companion and I held out my hand and John shook it slowly.
"Nice to meet you." He told me with a smile, giving me a once-over.
I smiled as best I could. "You too…um…how long have you been here?"
"I got there just in time to see the girl take the swan dive. She was the bad guy right?" John asked them, he and I still looking at each other, our hands still in each other's.
"Yes, sir." They answered in unison as I just nodded.
xx
John's POV
The moment I had seen Lana, I was suddenly assaulted with images of Florence Meckenzie in my mind and I didn't know what to do. It was obvious by the look in her eyes that she knew that I knew more about her than I was letting on and in all honesty…I did. She was keeping secrets and so was I and didn't quite know what to do right now because part of me wanted to get her as far away from my boys as possible.
I knew that there were things that I didn't know about Florence and Lana, but I certainly knew that there was something demonic about her daughters. Florence and Mary had known each other rather well and I knew that no matter what happened here and now, I was still in Florence's debt for what she'd done for me and for the boys. In fact the only one that would remember Florence is Dean, and even then, I didn't think he really remember all that much from when he was 4 and 5…especially if Florence's charms on their memories were still in place.
All I knew was that Lana was a rather important and dangerous asset, but she looked as if she was honestly also confused. She knew me from somewhere and we'd talk, but she was raised by her foster parents and I didn't have any reason to kill her…not that I would kill either of Florence's daughters. I was just rather surprised to see Lana here with the boys and even more surprised to see the looks that Dean was giving her—the same kind of looks that I used to give Mary, only I knew he was holding back to protect her.
xx
Lana's POV
I didn't know how to just bring up that I needed John's help with my parents' spirits while we were on a hunt that had nothing to do with them, and I had no idea how to talk to him with the boys there without spilling things I didn't want to spill. How did he know me anyway? It was obvious that there were things he didn't want the boys to know about me and with Dean glancing at me like he was jealous I was still touching his father and Sam wondering what the Hell was going on…I was surprised John and I were remaining so damn calm here.
"Good. Though, it doesn't surprise me, it's tried to stop me before." John told them, pulling me out of my thoughts as he dropped my hand.
"The demon has?" Sam asked him.
John nodded. "He knows I'm close—it knows I'm gonna kill it…not just exorcise or send it back to Hell, actually kill it."
"How?" Dean and I asked him.
"I'm working on that." John replied smiling.
"Well, let us come with you, we'll help." Sam told him. "Lana is also a perfect addition to the team—even Dean thinks so."
John smiled at me like he knew all about me and Dean, and then shook his head. "No Sam. Not yet. Listen—try to understand…this demon is a scary son of a bitch. I don't want you caught in the crossfire, I don't want you hurt. I'm sure that Lana can handle herself too, but this is too dangerous."
"Dad, you don't have to worry about us." Sam tried.
"Of course I do, I'm your father." John answered, tears welling up in Sam's eyes. "Listen Sammy, last time we were together we had one Hell of a fight."
Sam nodded slowly. "Yes sir."
"It's good to see you again. It's been a long time." John said sincerely.
"Too long." Sam nodded, and John smiled a little and hugged him close and I wiped a tear away.
Dean reached out and stroked my hair and I smiled at him a little, John looking over at us and then me going over to Sam and moving the duffle, turning to see John whisper something to Dean and then pull away. I raised an eyebrow because Dean looked miffed, and shook his head, but John's smile made him nod slowly and then the Daevas attacked and ruined the moment. They went after John first and then me and the boys and when I mentioned light, Sam took a flare bomb out of the duffle and it went off, the shadows disappearing long enough for the four of us to head out of the room. Sam wanted to leave immediately, but Dean shook his head a little and it looked like he was making a really tough decision in his head.
"Wait, wait, wait! Sam, wait. Dad, you can't come with us." Dean told him.
"What? What are you talking about?" Sam asked Dean, totally miffed.
"Hey boys, you're beat to Hell." John told them and then reached out to move some of my hair out of my face to reveal a cut and I just let him. "You should get Lana looked at."
I smiled at him a little. "I can handle myself, thank you."
"We'll be alright." Dean assured him, though he checked my wound too.
Sam made a face. "Dean, we should stick together…we'll go after this demon—"
"—Sam, listen to me. We almost got Dad killed in there. Don't you understand? They're not gonna stop. They're gonna try again, they're gonna use us to get to him. Maybe Meg was right: Dad's vulnerable when he's with us. He…he's stronger without us around." Dean explained and when he glanced at me, I knew he was trying to get this 'feelings' thing through to me and I nodded slowly.
"Dad, no." Sam said, putting his hand on his shoulder. "After everything…after all the time we've been looking for you. Please, I've got to be a part of this fight."
John smiled at him a little. "This fight is just starting, and we are all gonna have a part to play. For now, you have to trust me son, okay? You've got to let me go."
Sam didn't want to but he nodded slowly and John headed for the car after telling us all to be careful and I knew that he was going to keep in touch—that I was going to have to get John's number out of Dean's phone. We watched John drive off and then we got into the Impala and drove a different direction and I knew Meg was watching…I knew we hadn't seen the end of her. I told them I was pretty sure she wasn't gone for good even if we'd seen her body on the ground and they thought I was just tired and drained even if by now they trusted my instincts. So I let it go until we got to the motel and Sam went into the bathroom to get ready for bed and Dean suddenly spoke up.
"He says I picked right." Dean told me.
I turned to face him. "What?"
"I think he thinks that I have feelings for you." Dean said and he shrugged it off but he swallowed when I walked up to him and looked directly at him.
"You do." I replied and smiled when he looked me in the eye and gave me a look. "Maybe you should stop punishing yourself—and me in the process—and come out and admit that you're feeling for me what I'm feeling for you."
Dean shook his head. "Lanni…I can't do that. I can't be a reason for getting you killed."
I rolled my eyes and kissed him, pouring myself into him. He responded for a moment but when I tried to deepen the kiss more he pushed me off of him softly and shook his head, looking at me with sad eyes.
"I am not going to be a reason for you getting killed." He repeated.
I nodded slowly. "Tell me you don't have feelings for me, Dean—and say it truthfully. Honestly and truly tell me that there is absolutely nothing between us."
"What is the point in that?" He asked me.
"The point is that you can't say it…you can't say it because there's something between us and you're as scared as I am about it but the difference is I'm willing to face it." I explained to him.
Dean didn't like the implication that he was a coward and kissed me, wrapping his arms around me and then moving one hand from my lower back to my hair as I deepened the kiss this time and he didn't pull away. I held him close to me and then when he pulled back our eyes met and he smiled a little, and I knew that the closeness was at least making me happy and I felt accomplished. Things were different even without his vocal recognition of that but I needed the vocalization and he seemed to know me well enough to give it to me.
"I care about you…I care about you a lot." Dean admitted, the sad look returning because he didn't want his weakness for me or my weakness for him to ruin us.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him tenderly. "Baby, that's the first step."
Note: More soon, I promise! I love where this is heading! Some of my favorite ideas are coming up so stay tuned…and feedback is always appreciated.